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My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same - Family (2) - Nairaland

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A Widower Asking For My Hand In Marriage / Help A Widower With Children Fees / 41-year-old Indonesian Widower Weds 13-year-Old 3 Months After Meeting Online (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Nobody: 8:18am On Nov 18, 2023
Not bad. I can't believe I read the entire story but it's just fiction

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Csami(m): 8:27am On Nov 18, 2023
What’s with “All men are the same”?

Have you tried them all?

Your papa follow dey this table sha

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Aaaaarghmed(m): 8:28am On Nov 18, 2023
The OP is a confused person, she goes about writing stories about how she dumped men,but they dont give a Bleep.they will always get someone else, e no hard.she is massaging her ego.All men are the same,so please leave men alone.dont accept anyone proposal or go on a date ok. grin

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Ishilove: 8:58am On Nov 18, 2023
joseph1832:
Sadly, is a luxury seun can not afford. sad
The forum is not designed that way, I guess
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by joseph1832(m): 9:01am On Nov 18, 2023
Ishilove:

The forum is not designed that way, I guess
once upon a time, the forum wasn't designed to see mentions...

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 9:52am On Nov 18, 2023
Aaaaarghmed:
The OP is a confused person, she goes about writing stories about how she dumped men,but they dont give a Bleep.they will always get someone else, e no hard.she is massaging her ego.All men are the same,so please leave men alone.dont accept anyone proposal or go on a date ok. grin

See as you talk full ground waaaa... Yet no one make sense.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Kajaard: 9:57am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


See as you talk full ground waaaa... Yet no one make sense.


We all know you cry yourself to sleep everynight. Continue deceiving yourself. 43 year old single woman.

You go make different posts tire to justify your being single at the very old age of 43, but we all know the deep truth. Pathetic Agbaya.

5 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 10:11am On Nov 18, 2023
Kajaard:


We all know you cry yourself to sleep everynight. Continue deceiving yourself. 43 year old single woman.

You go make different posts tire to justify your being single at the very old age of 43, but we all know the deep truth. Pathetic Agbaya.

LoL.. see as e pain you.

Now come let me ask you.... Why is every post of mine both the harmless and controversial ones always making you cry specially? You seem pained abi my type don deal with you in real life before?

You wanna hear this, hate is poisonous. It will only destroy and eat you the hater while the hated goes on rejoicing. Coming to my post to always shame and insult me with the same lines everyday does not have any effect on me or my account balance. So you see? it's a total waste of your time and effort you could used in bettering your life and making yourself useful to people around you. At least if you don enter compound toilet wash am the time you're using to type trash, you for don achieve something and compound people for squeeze a plate of rice give you this weekend but no... You chose to go hungry this weekend.

Abeg make I go check my stew. Everywhere don stew for me. Hahahahaha... Cry me a river. tongue

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Kajaard: 10:15am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


LoL.. see as e pain you.

Now come let me ask you.... Why is every post of mine both the harmless and controversial ones always making you cry specially? You seem pained abi my type don deal with you in real life before?

You wanna hear this, hate is poisonous. It will only destroy and eat you the hater while the hated goes on rejoicing. Coming to my post to always shame and insult me with the same lines everyday does not have any effect on me or my account balance. So you see? it's a total waste of your time and effort you could use in bettering your life and making yourself useful to people around you. At least if you don enter compound toilet wash am the time you're using to type trash, you for don achieve something and compound people for squeeze a plate of rice give you this weekend but no... You chose to go hungry this weekend.

Abeg make I go check my stew. Everywhere don stew for me. Hahahahaha... Cry me a river. tongue


Stop making posts to justify your being single. Stop fooling yourself. At 43 years old you might never get married anymore because your looks are no more appeasing to men.

You are way past what nairalanders refer to as EVENING NEWSPAPER (ENP).

Right now at 43 years old single and unmarried you are in YESTERDAY'S NEWSPAPER (YNP) category.

Mercychen the pathetic nairaland storyteller and habitual liar cheesy

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Harddiskng(m): 10:18am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Y
YES! he didn't have money, he no still stay one place and that was why I dumped him like a piece of trash that he is.. . Person wen Dem dey pity wey no pity himself. Abeg!

You Men don't know wen not to misbehave. Even if he had money, I would have still dumped him because I did that to a rich pastor ( now based in America) and didn't look back. This widowers case was even worse because he's a cheat and I can't stand cheats.

Aunty leave men alone. Go and make your own money. You are not getting younger.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 10:23am On Nov 18, 2023
Harddiskng:


Aunty leave men alone. Go and make your own money. You are not getting younger.

I hole una? No be Una dey disturb me?

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by LadyRosa2(f): 10:26am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


What's deep about this story now abi you just want talk as usual? Your own life no dey deep? Pele o Mr shallow man.

Abeg shift!

You're too desperate and cheap.
You don't have standard enough to handle the least of men.

This is a woman telling you these.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by LadyRosa2(f): 10:28am On Nov 18, 2023
duduade:
Loooool

Walahi you try

That man must have been full of lies...

I wonder where he might be now...

Because the man know say she dull thats why.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Justbehave(m): 10:41am On Nov 18, 2023
In all this op stories,she never tell us how those men de Bleep her.

6 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by henrimoto(m): 10:46am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Y
YES! he didn't have money, he no still stay one place and that was why I dumped him like a piece of trash that he is.. . Person wen Dem dey pity wey no pity himself. Abeg!

You Men don't know wen not to misbehave. Even if he had money, I would have still dumped him because I did that to a rich pastor ( now based in America) and didn't look back. This widowers case was even worse because he's a cheat and I can't stand cheats.
Hmnnn.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by farem: 10:52am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children 👀👀👀. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



Physician heal yourself. As a single (so called chassis) you never stopped collecting knacking like they sware for you. If you have covered up your overused puna, won't you have discovered this far earlier? That guy wants to shift enough labia of yours.
You have heard severally that fornicators will go to hell but because you're assured of a marital home, you ignore God and his preachers.
Abeg shiftAshewo

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by henrimoto(m): 10:53am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


I hole una? No be Una dey disturb me?
Nne, no let this your writing skill go like that o. You are a good story teller with the pen.

You sabi captivate readers with your writings.

Na one of the things wey make me dey follow you, despite, your annoying online attitude.

No let this small remark wey I give you enter your head o.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Abolodje: 10:55am On Nov 18, 2023
Only you cheat on your husband in your house which made your family give you silent treatment, still shameless you involved in a pathetic situationship with a widower.
You’re nothing but just a fake old cum bucket…off the road blud

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by henrimoto(m): 10:58am On Nov 18, 2023
farem:


Physician heal yourself. As a single (so called chassis) you never stopped collecting knacking like they sware for you. If you have covered up your overused puna, won't you have discovered this far earlier? That guy wants to shift enough labia of yours.
You have heard severally that fornicators will go to hell but because you're assured of a marital home, you ignore God and his preachers.
Abeg shiftAshewo
Be calming down, didn't you see "2013" there? That time, "She was still in the world" but now...

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by henrimoto(m): 11:00am On Nov 18, 2023
Abolodje:
Only you cheat on your husband in your house which made your family give you silent treatment, still shameless you involved in a pathetic situationship with a widower.
You’re nothing but just a fake old cum bucket…off the road blud
No! Not she. The order one about the cheating wife was a "Copied Article" . No be she do the thing. Go back and read that Article.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by illicit(m): 11:06am On Nov 18, 2023
Justbehave:
In all this op stories,she never tell us how those men de Bleep her.
E get one long episode wey she write

She dey date one fresh graduate wey younger than her

The guy wan marry her cos he pity her

But she no allow the guy fvck

And she no wan make d guy fvck outside

Young guy o, wey she senior like 10 years, u see her problem now, she is too bossy and selfish

7 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Justbehave(m): 11:15am On Nov 18, 2023
illicit:

E get one long episode wey she write

She dey date one fresh graduate wey younger than her

The guy wan marry her cos he pity her

But she no allow the guy fvck

And she no wan make d guy fvck outside

Young guy o, wey she senior like 10 years, u see her problem now, she is too bossy and selfish

As in ehee. I Neva see. Make she try change her annoying attitude. No man will Eva want to stay with her type.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 11:26am On Nov 18, 2023
LadyRosa2:


You're too desperate and cheap.
You don't have standard enough to handle the least men.

This is a woman telling you these.

Standard my foot! With your standard, na one dirty man wey you dey feed go don put you for house still dey cheat on you with hot singles out there. Oponu. You get levels reach Usifo Ataga wife? Was she able to handle the man? You sound dumb Biko.

Everybody wan form woke and standard online meanwhile their life is full of tales of woes, disaster and regrets they can't share even a tiny bit of their story to the world. Ground go explode Ewu.

Now that I've noticed your dumb azz, you can scamper back into your hole. Numskull!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by aQUINandmore: 11:39am On Nov 18, 2023
Wahala
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by UncleKoboko: 11:41am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children 👀👀👀. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.


You're actually deluded comparing a widow to a widower.
It's only a widow that can be seen as a second and never a widower.
INFACT, MOST WIDOWERS ARE USUALLY NOT INTERESTED IN MARRIAGE, THEY JUST WANT TO FUÇK ANY AVAILABLE LOOSE GIRL AND MOVE TO ANOTHER ONE...
IT'S YOUR LOSS. NA YOU MUMU YOURSELF grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 11:42am On Nov 18, 2023
LadyRosa2:


Because the man know say she dull thats why.

Mumu use your real moniker to face me. You think I don't know who you are? The fact that you're hiding behind another moniker to attack yourself shows how timid and dull you are.

You're not worth wasting my time on. I can see you're looking for cheap attention and I won't give you the honor of achieving that cheap popularity by replying you any further.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by BluntCrazeMan: 11:42am On Nov 18, 2023
Fiscus105

People will always be themselves..
I told you this very thing inside the other thread.

That means, if you are with them, you have two options..
It's either you find ways to bend them a-bit and then cope with them.
Or else, if they refuse to bend,, find your way and leave them..
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by seborrhic: 11:43am On Nov 18, 2023
So after about 2 years out of jail,he still left his prison card in his jacket,all the way from abroad
There are many kids in nairaland so this story is probably meant for them.

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by SavageResponse(m): 11:43am On Nov 18, 2023
You have really been around the block grin

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by CuteNbad(m): 11:49am On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children 👀👀👀. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.


You're a good woman.
You deserve better

Never go back

He's bleeped up already.

Start your life with someone better.

You won't regret it.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by happney65: 11:49am On Nov 18, 2023
A Man with 6 kids is still a prime Man anyday anytime as long as he isn't poor and can take care of his children and his new babe anyday anytime.

But can a woman with 6kids see any Man? grin grin grin grin

You'll gonna learn

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 11:49am On Nov 18, 2023
Justbehave:
In all this op stories,she never tell us how those men de Bleep her.

You think I'm like those cheap baby mama of youts that open legs for you anyhow and end up condemned and overused? Sorry. I played my cards well that is why I still have my dignity and pride today.

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