₦airaland Forum

Bros every man need to be loved ...and also women as well but truth to be told

Nigerian girls of today are bhastards ..they don't love and as s man in this life never xpect anyone to love you conditionally e no de exist ....people will love you for what they can get from you

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

Number one, women are the same all over the world, regardless of race or ethnicity so, you can't avoid their drama.

Secondly, you said women are too complicated to deal with, if I may put it right . Yes, even the most religous ones amongst them are wired this way, the slight difference is the fear of God in them. The truth is, women don't even understand themselves at times.

If you're looking for the best woman, you won't find one, I'm sorry. You may remain single if you don't feel like getting married, the bible supports it but you must not indulge in fornication. You remain as you are till you vacate this space but this is always difficult to do so, the best option is get married but pray very well before you rear your head cos you can't judge by how good-looking or nice a woman is. Na when she enter you go know the type of woman you marry. Sadly, this is the cause of all the divorce cases we see today. You see a woman, you think you don see wife without going spiritual to really know who she is. Our forefathers would consult an ifa in those days so they dont get it wrong. That's why their marriages lasted.
But we don't have to do that nowadays as we have an easier means of reaching out to God through prayers. Marriage is deeper than many think. Be convinced she's the right one and you'd be glad in the end.

The solution to a happy marriage is tolerance. Even if she's ranting, just tolerate her naggy manners. It doesn't make you a stupid man. When her head is cool, she'd be the one to apologise to you. But if you keep beating her each time. That won't make her to stop that habit, till you kill her one day and you end up at a place where you least expect to be.
Good luck

AlphaHakimi:
Here is my sincere advice to you.

1) When you see a woman, treat whatever relationship you have with her as transactional.

2) Make sure any woman you decide to date invest something tangible in your life. I don't mean sex, let her invest her money, skills and time in your life.

You see, women are loyal to their emotions. A woman does not really care about what you have done for her in the past, if you cannot help her presently, you are useless to her. This is why I said she has to invest in you and openly ask her for it the same way they ask you for money for wig, shoes and cloth. A woman is only loyal to her sacrifice. Once she knows she has sacrificed something that is not easy to come by e.g Money, she will be loyal to you.

Here is how you do it, if you have a car and you want to go for maintenance and you know it will cost you like 15k, openly tell her that your car is due for maintenance and that she should give you 15k for it (Not borrow).

So whenever she collects money from you, collect an equal amount of money from her. This is transactional relationship. So that the day she decides to leave, she will remember all that she has invested in you and that will keep her.

Don't crave for love, it will find you and when it does make sure you are getting as much as you are giving.

Shalom

Op I recommend this strategy


Women won't leave where they invested heavily

Magnoliaa:
But they will not stop rushing into it, and complaining about a lack of intimacy from women.

I honestly don't understand this thread nor its point. Stay alone and save yourself the hassle of being with a woman na. What's hard there?

I wish men like the OP would simply avoid marriage and avoid women totally.
Let him not use his sexist mindset and behaviour to torment one innocent woman.

I don't even know what these males want. They think females are terrible and problematic but they are here giving advice on how to stay with the same problematic females.

All of you should just avoid us females altogether.

Thanks.

Beuberry:
You are a mumuman! You followed advise from rapists, dirty boys wearing one boxer short for one week, sex only brain boys, lazy and unrealistic high expectations boys on this forum. Don't you see that those boys coming here to complain about females have no joy?
They are looking for what their mothers didn't give their fathers and what their sisters didn't do for their husbands. You took wrong advise cos this forum isn't a yardstick to judge all women.

You are still looking for advise from losers. Most of the males here are political jobbers, atheists, antichrists and sex only in the brain boys roaming romance section. They are good at condemning and not offering solutions. They are like DaddyFreeze, Sheikh Gumi, FFK and Reno Omokri. Always eating from pits and defending evil via packaging.


Lol, 😂 you mean you do have erections? 🤣
Stick to masturbation and oloshos naa. Mary both of them or you also get a baby mama. By the grace of God, women are more wiser and I won't tolerate any loser of a man to mess with my life.


See MikeofKd or Michael of Kaduna, you are a joker. You can't receive what you don't have.
Get a well behaved woman to marry. Ignore bad counsels from this site. You sef reason am, go through this thread, have you gotten a good advise except this one I gave you?

And where is the good advise you gave,

"stick to masturbation or marry olosho"
"Get a well behaved woman" you might as well tell him na fish dey inside sardine.

Even if he finds a well behaved woman if he doesnt solve his commitment issue 1st, will the r/ship work.

Commitment issue is a personal journey, he alone can fix himself and it starts by opening up on things he fear the most.

icedbreez:
Lol wtf

Too much hate inside one person.

You are referring to yaself

Evolutionism:
This one have reached the Point Of No Return.🤣

Omo See Bitterness🤣

Any man wey enter this one hand, Na die e dey🤣

God Abeg ooo.

I wish you badluck this Xmas season, amen.

Great6Pack:
Honestly I wish I am in your shoes. The simple truth no one will tell you today is that marriage is not for everyone.

You can have your peace of mind by having your desired number of kids with one or 2 baby mamas and strictly take care of your kids needs.

If they like, they can become your friends with benefits but never commit your heart to a woman especially those ones in Nigeria of today.

Talking is a man with 10 years of marriage. If I had known what I know now 10 years ago, this would have been my sincere action.

Suit yourself though because it's never a one size fits all kind of life

Discussing with some guys
I discovered that one of the biggest dis service done to men is:

The pressure to get married

This have put many men to lifetime regrets


My advice to Men

Never fall under the pressure to get married
This pressure makes Men overlook red flags and end up marrying nonsense

If you are single
Be comfortable in your state

Even if you want to Marry
Then you will use clear eye

Vet everything about the Lady In question
Like the way you vet investments


Just be comfortable in your state as a Man
That way you will be stronger and better

A305:
I am just like you but here is what helps.


Never fail to indicate interest and set the ball rolling. After that;

*Keep a distance between you and her, meaning don't let her come visiting too often maybe for just intimate times and bonding times. Then you send her on her way.

*Ensure to always reach out to her daily Chat/call or mixture of both.

*If she starts up trouble leading up to drama, withdraw your attention to protect your sanity, she will get the point.

*Talk to multiple girls, if you can't meet them in person, sign up on dating sites. Ensure you talk to lots of women; one thing I came to realize is: you only get experience with women by interacting with them, they all have stories, dark side, confessions, insecurities to reveal if patient enough to listen. Girls are open books but you need to turn the page by constant interaction.

*Always let them know you have commitment issues, they would be intended to want to fix you to keep you.

*Never let anyone of them pass a night at your place; she will begin to mark her territory and your reaction will be less commitment to her. The only one that can pass the night is the one you have chosen to wife and she has understood you in and out.

*Reward them with attention and sweet talk and punish them with a pull back when she acts foul. Just ignore her. To make this efficient — put off the read receipt and last seen on your WhatsApp when dealing with multiple women at once.

*Women are very manipulative, you need to understand that and the best way to combat that if you perceive being manipulated is do nothing, just watch her reveal her play book/tactics, don't react rashly and in the end call her out on it.

*Don't raise you voice at a woman, basically don't let her get a rise out of you.

Speak calmly and confidently, if you feel she's outdo-ing you at it. Start pointing out her flaws in life and her personality, she would loose composure. If that don't work. Remain silent. The silent method always works. Let her seek your words.

*Don't shy away from them, they are wonderful to deal with but from a distance. The distance creates power. This is the one secret you should know. And that distance is usually eliminated when you get married to her; so at that point, your power begins to deteriorate except you have strong frame as a man.

--------------------------------------
OPTIONAL but if you want to bang every chick on the first visit — simple but there are steps to follow from the very moment she step foot in your apartment till you escalate. I won't recommend but practice the above first to get over your commitment issues. Not really get rid of it but learn to manage it.

Girls are not special at all. Just imagine her like taking in another man waste when you try to pedestalize her. Or treat her like a kid when she begins to throw tantrum with words.

Sicko.

Beuberry:
Evolutionism, I wish you GOODLUCK this Xmas season. Amen.

Thanks Spoilt Braat.

reddingtonblack:
And where is the good advise you gave,

"stick to masturbation or marry olosho"
"Get a well behaved woman" you might as well tell him na fish dey inside sardine.

Even if he finds a well behaved woman if he doesnt solve his commitment issue 1st, will the r/ship work.

Commitment issue is a personal journey, he alone can fix himself and it starts by opening up on things he fear the most.

I won't teach him how to be committed when he gets advise from losers. 80% of males on this forum are good for nothing.

Evolutionism:
Sharaap Spoilt Braat.

If car no jam you this week, police ll catch you, or make dog bite you, amen.
Except if I no dey on my menstruation na hin my curse no go catch you!

CHoccolaTE:
This topic has to be a joke.
Both the original post and the comments from other males.

I don't know how you clowns have succeeded in convincing yourselves that you are victims of females.
Females are the greater recipients of domestic violence, absentee partners in marriage, infidelity in relationships, females give up their names and identities to get married, the kids they spend their whole lives raising are not even theirs; because children belong to their fathers side of the family, women are under greater pressure to tolerate bad marriages because of stigma of divorce so they stay and put up with all sorts of rubbish from their husbands.
Women are the worst sufferers of bad inlaws.
Many men don't even provide shit. They do the barest minimum and have their wives substitute for the rest and then they still don't appreciate her for it.
But somehow, males have convinced themselves that they are the victims and marriage favors women.

Let me leave this thread for you deluded creatures. Please enjoy your delusions.

Why do most Men complain?

What Men want self is simple: peace of mind

Many women nowadays can't give that

When even the Bible warned about being with a troublesome/ quarellsome woman


Showing the same thing
Men just want peace of mind and good marriages you see around have that combination of a woman offering her Man peace of mind

Slowly killing you and you still had strength to type?

Relationship no be by force. If it's killing you, then stop trying to get into any relationship

CHoccolaTE:
I wish men like the OP would simply avoid marriage and avoid women totally.
Let him not use his sexist mindset and behaviour to torment one innocent woman.

I don't even know what these males want. They think females are terrible and problematic but they are here giving advice on how to stay with the same problematic females.

All of you should just avoid us females altogether.

Thanks.

if you can't see OP is not a sexist rather what he is suffering from is psychological problem then your likes don't deserve his commitment.

Earth is filled with so many natural disaster, you don't see humans evacuating to pluto, instead over the years Men have evolve and learn how to survive natural disaster. think

Beuberry:
If car no jam you this week, police ll catch you, or make dog bite you.
Except if I no dey on my menstruation na hin my curse no go catch you!

Lol oya please Mabinu

BTW i work as a SA, So Police catching me is out of it. The Police are my Colleagues.

PedoBear:
You think you're anonymous on nairaland, one day you go collect woto woto from a redpiller

Pedophile aka PedoBear stop threatening her!

Silentgroper:
We both have the same commitment issues.. but I enjoy mine cause i know how to Keep girls without giving my heart to them ...


It's very enjoyable if you do it like i do it ...


Shiit loads of advantages if you ask me ...

How

Beuberry:
I won't teach him how to be committed when he gets advise from losers. 80% of males on this forum are good for nothing.

You must have met 80% of males here, aunty what you do for a living just curious

You can't teach him how to be committed, same way men here can't teach him how to be a man, what works for me might not work for him thats why he must find himself by himself

I don't know your definition of losers but we have more guyz that are married, CEOs and owners of properties than total number of women on NL.

reddingtonblack:
You must have met 80% of males here, aunty what you do for a living just curious

You can't teach him how to be committed, same way men here can't teach him how to be a man, what works for me might not work for him thats why he must find himself by himself

I don't know your definition of losers but we have more guyz that are married, CEOs and owners of properties than total number of women on NL.

Women no be CEO, they aren't wives or mothers to blossom homes. Na onlyen dry work for this forum. Joker!
Ask the boys that claim all girls aren't good to answer you.

Fiscus105:
For me I have been in marriage for 9 years, I have never regretted for a second, offcourse, things are not rossy, but not because of Marriage but economy situation of country.

I have said and will keep on saying it, over and over and over.

IF THE TWO COUPLES NOT ONLY LOVE THEMSELVES BUT READY TO PLAY THE GAME OF MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO ITS RULES, TWO OF YOU WOULD BE FEELING LIKE KING AND QUEEN IN UR MARRIAGE.

my ADVICE., you and ur woman should make amendments, u will surely enjoy it, meanwhile, don't mistake economy or spiritual problems for "Marriage toxicity"

They are different kettle of fish.

The Truth is You can Only know the Outcome of the Bolded After you are already Married and TOO Late.
Marriage is Simply a GAMBLE!
if Might Make U or SCATTER YOU

just Braze up for whatever comes

Eriokanmi:
Number one, women are the same all over the world, regardless of race or ethnicity so, you can't avoid their drama.

Secondly, you said women are too complicated to deal with, if I may put it right . Yes, even the most religous ones amongst them are wired this way, the slight difference is the fear of God in them. The truth is, women don't even understand themselves at times.

If you're looking for the best woman, you won't find one, I'm sorry. You may remain single if you don't feel like getting married, the bible supports it but you must not indulge in fornication. You remain as you are till you vacate this space but this is always difficult to do so, the best option is get married but pray very well before you rear your head cos you can't judge by how good-looking or nice a woman is. Na when she enter you go know the type of woman you marry. Sadly, this is the cause of all the divorce cases we see today. You see a woman, you think you don see wife without going spiritual to really know who she is. Our forefathers would consult an ifa in those days so they dont get it wrong. That's why their marriages lasted.
But we don't have to do that nowadays as we have an easier means of reaching out to God through prayers. Marriage is deeper than many think. Be convinced she's the right one and you'd be glad in the end.

The solution to a happy marriage is tolerance. [b]Even if she's ranting, just tolerate her naggy manners. It doesn't make you a stupid man. When her head is cool, she'd be the one to apologise to you. [/b]But if you keep beating her each time. That won't make her to stop that habit, till you kill her one day and you end up at a place where you least expect to be.
Good luck

Let me tell You:

Lots of Women Don't apologize even if they are Wrong. (to them they can never be Wrong). instead, they will blame the Misdoing on you

Some Women Nag on Another Level (u never jam).... e.g. you Walk Away from an Argument and she Follows you anywhere you go. pestering and Nagging. trying to Push you to the limit.

I even watched a video recently, The husband walks away from a wife Drama (demanding a wig). he tried Driving out of the House and the Woman followed him Not allowing him to walk away. locking his shirt. you can imagine the frustration of that married gentle man

like you said, you will not know...until they are already in.
then they Turn TIGER

OvertheTop:
The Truth is You can Only know the Outcome of the Bolded After you are already Married and TOO Late.
Marriage is Simply a GAMBLE!
if Might Make U or SCATTER YOU

just Braze up for whatever comes

Yes but on many occasions you can also know at least, 75% what might come out, if you don't go by way *physical body* but the quality the partners possess that can make the Marriage work. Meanwhile, having got the prerequisites, the two actors still need to guide the Marriage jealously if they want it to succeed.

......and what did I mean by guiding it jealously?

The two of you should endeavour to refrain from what you know can hurt ur partner toooo deep, not that one alone,you should also learn how to reach compromise.( I reject some and accept some of my partner's characters)

Beuberry:
Women no be CEO, they aren't wives or mothers to blossom homes. Na onlyen dry work for this forum. Joker!
Ask the boys that claim all girls aren't good to answer you.

Did i say women are not CEOs or wives, you said guyz here are losers and i reminded you the number of successful guyz on NL is more than the total number of females on NL .. get the drift

Comprehension is compulsory if we must mingle,

simply ask anyone woman you fancy....
" Wat do you perceive me as"...?
Cucumber or Fish roll.......
The answer will guide you home......

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

Fear of commitment is on the high side in this generation among both genders.
Past relationship experiences and observing what others are battling with in their marriages is enough to make marriage a dreaded thing.

It's important to ask yourself the right salient questions;
-Why do you want to marry?
-What are you looking for in a marriage?
-What's your idea of an ideal marriage?
-Are you being pressured into marriage, have you set a deadline for yourself?
-Are you ready for marriage- spiritually, emotionally, financially, etc
-Are you teachable and are you learning, unlearning and relearning about marriage?
-Have you healed from your hurt? You know you've healed when you can share your experience without regret but lesson learnt.

Fear is an emotion that is both productive and destructive depending on ow you react/respond to fear.
You certainly have to overcome your fear of commitment.
Start by praying about it. Then start exposing yourself to good marriages online and offline,
This will help change your narrative about marriage. You will like wise start to attract the right type of people into you life.

reddingtonblack:
if you can't see OP is not a sexist rather what he is suffering from is psychological problem then your likes don't deserve his commitment.

Earth is filled with so many natural disaster, you don't see humans evacuating to pluto, instead over the years Men have evolve and learn how to survive natural disaster. think

When you are a sexist, you are suffering from psychological problems. It's natural phenomenon for a man to like woman, but when you are now hating women for no tangible reasons, you are going abnormal.

There is correlation between sexism and psychological.

reddingtonblack:
Did i say women are not CEOs or wives, you said guyz here are losers and i reminded you the number of successful guyz on NL is more than the total number of females on NL .. get the drift

Comprehension is compulsory if we must mingle,

Comprehension wey you n boys here don't have?
If there are more rich males here than female it's not significant talk. It's a petty talk. What we are saying is the way males here bash females is awkward!
And you look like those senseless males of this site!

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

It's good for you, don't bother to change it.

Getting too emotionally attached to a woman is worse than Joining Cultism or kidnapping squad, it won't end well.

Just find a girl that understands you and create a romantic friendship with her.

reddingtonblack:
if you can't see OP is not a sexist rather what he is suffering from is psychological problem then your likes don't deserve his commitment.

Lwkmd,
You males really think highly of yourselvrs don't you?
What on earth could I possibly need his commitment for?

Earth is filled with so many natural disaster, you don't see humans evacuating to pluto, instead over the years Men have evolve and learn how to survive natural disaster. think

So females are natural disasters?
You men rob, rape, kill, kidnap, terrorize, loot treasury like no man's business, but females are the natural disasters?

Oga please like I said before, you guys should just have fun and enjoy your delusions.

Fiscus105:
U re keeping GIRLS , yet u expect commitment from any of those Girls, it's only a mad girl would give u her heart, wen she herself see numerous girls. Not until you guys start playing relationship game according to its rule.


If they ask u, u will wail, Marriage not for everybody.

Who says female commit these days.. they just pretend until they're tired of pretending and boom, they disappear.. na you go come they nurse a broken heart ...


Naso my cousin enter toilet locked himself up there and was crying after one girl show am shege .. Since then, guyman no dey do commitment oo .. my guy just dey pack dem upandan until it feels right with one of them...

djon78:
Why do most Men complain?

What Men want self is simple: peace of mind

Many women nowadays can't give that

When even the Bible warned about being with a troublesome/ quarellsome woman


Showing the same thing
Men just want peace of mind and good marriages you see around have that combination of a woman offering her Man peace of mind

You think men give women peace? You really believe women fare better in marriages than men?
If you do then no wahala. I don't even have any interest in arguing.
Enjoy.