My Neighbor And His Wife - Romance - Nairaland
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| My Neighbor And His Wife by Mysteriousworld: 6:54am On Jan 20 |
My neighbor and his wife are always fighting... What bothers me is their son, the marriage isnt healthy for him. For the first time, i helped them settle their fight yesterday. I listened to them both. The mans complain is that his wife doesnt respect him at all, for example, she says ; "im going to pure the dustbin away" then she doesnt return in another 2 hrs, she wont pick calls or she left her phone at home,(he claims hes sure shes not cheating, because thats where my mind went) when she gets back and he complains, she'll now start her own anger, saying he has no right to tell her that....shes not a child and so on....(the man doesnt police her, just expects her to tell him her whereabout). She finds it hard to say sorry(he says that scares him) She's never wrong.... And always has an excuse for being wrong...a narcissist i guess. The wife says everything the man complained about is unnecessary, says he complains about unnecessary things... He complains too much.... Thats her problem with him.(she was in tears through out) This is what caused the fight yesterday... They were playing and happy till they decided to go out together... Then the husband noticed her waist beads, thats where quarrel started, to the point that she bite him, and he slapped her back.... All in the eyes of their son. He said the first day they started dating, she was wearing waist bead, he told her he hates it and she removed it immediately.... Only for her to start wearing it after marriage... He said he had been complaining about it for 6 months now, until yesterday when he insisted she must remove it... To cut the long story short, he said hes done with the marriage, and to my surprise she said she is too, she left to sleep in a guest house yesterday, says shes coming to park her load this morning... She said she'll leave with her son , he said she cant leave with his son... I guess thats where therell be issue this morning, based on the custody of the child. The story long but this is a summary... Pls... Matured minds on nairaland.... Im confused and dont know if i should try and help them settle it... Because a part of me is thinking its better for them to go separate ways, since none of them is ready to bow to the other... At the same time... Im thinking i can help them settle it... Its just clear there will be a big issue on who takes the child this morning if they decide to end it. |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by immortalcrown(m): 6:56am On Jan 20 |
The son may grow to wrongly see marriage as a scam. Who spens hours to dispose of waste? Does she take the trash to recycle centres? 16 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by FRANCISTOWN: 6:59am On Jan 20 |
immortalcrown:Okay! So is marriage not a scam? 5 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by BigBlackPreek(m): 7:02am On Jan 20 |
One thing I know for sure is that I will marry right in due time. too many lessons to learnt from 14 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Bluntguy: 7:02am On Jan 20 |
Go ahead and settle them. May God grant you wisdom. 14 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Wawelexy(m): 7:03am On Jan 20 |
Op let me first commend you for your story telling skill... You really sabi this amebo thing .. Kudos. Now back to the issue, I think you should help them settle the issue amicably, do not apportion blame to either of the party, just let them know that both of them needs to understand the power of apology, obedience and respect (esp the wife). Teach the hubby too about tolerance and the need to overlook trivial issues. Both of them has the traits of nagging (from your story), teach them how to replace it with peaceful communication and tell them to cultivate the act of praying together. I believe this will help. After all these, call your neighbour for one side( the hubby), talk sense into his head... If the wife doesn't cheat, isn't diabolical, and doesn't drink, smoke and party around, if the issue is just the waist beads and her not respecting him, tell him to relax and be diplomatic bout it, women aren't that hard, if he plays his game very well, by being caring and always respecting her, she go calm down and even throw away all her waist beads without him asking her. Most guys feels being authoritative all the time equates to being Alpha, No... Some issues no go escalate if we apply common sense... 46 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Westerhoffe(m): 7:09am On Jan 20 |
When we say, "Inquire of GOD about that partner before saying, 'Yes' or 'proposing', they'd say what's the necessity." Now see what's happening to a young marriage. All the words and commandments of GOD are for our benefits if we keep to them. When the Bible said, "Love your wife…" it is for your benefit. When the Bible said, "Submit to your husband…" it is still for your benefit. The problem today is because we humans come to ignore GOD'S commandments and yet we want to live in peace with our set rules. I don't have much to say, than that you should sue for peace from both parties and warn them of the dangers what they're doing is exposing their child to. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Mysteriousworld: 7:12am On Jan 20 |
BigBlackPreek: This man said she was the most gentle human in the world... To the point that his only worry was that she was too gentle and never quarreled... Only for her to become opposite... And in reality, when they have issues, its her voice im always hearing.... Im not taking sides for neither of them... But i feel sorry for the husband..... He's the bread winner, and claims he sees himself like a maga... She doesnt work, she just enjoys and doesn't even make him feel like hes trying.... He sent her to school, she learning tailoring now, he just bought a machine for her, but she just feels its his job, doesnt respect him... And therefore he said he's simply her client.... And she a yahoo girl  The matter tire me... The lady couldnt speak much... She was just crying... Her tears made me feel for her, but i know every woman has the gift of crying... 12 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by immortalcrown(m): 7:15am On Jan 20 |
FRANCISTOWN:Looking at your parents, what is your own answer? 11 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Earthstorms(m): 7:18am On Jan 20 |
Mysteriousworld: Seems the lady is immature for marriage. There are some red flags Where does she go to those periods that she finds difficult to explain to her husband? Who is she wearing waist beads for if the husband detest it? The man also his fault, why stress yourself over waist bead that you can cut off when she is asleep or during lovemaking,? If I were in his shoes I will be flushing the waist bead down the toilet every night while she is sleeping. How many beads can she replace in a month? But for me, waist bead means nothing unless she is wearing it to please another man. Talk to the man to save his marriage, the lady is foolish but marriage is for better for worse. If they must separate, then the woman should go with the child. A man can not be chasing money, new women, managing extended financial expectations and then add child rearing to it How do you even know that the woman spent last night in a hotel? It is possible she spent it with another man,.the man that is pushing her to break her marriage. 9 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by BigBlackPreek(m): 7:19am On Jan 20 |
Mysteriousworld:what could have went wrong? maybe he doesn't perform his bedroom duties or she wasn't really into him that much from the onset 1 Like |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by CameroonPepper: 7:19am On Jan 20 |
Marriage is for the weak. No strong willed man or woman thinks of attaching themself to another human. Marriage are for those that lack confidence standing on their own. If you say otherwise, why do women ALWAYS want to be on their own after they've made bastard money? Answer. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Mysteriousworld: 7:20am On Jan 20 |
Westerhoffe: According to the guy....,he prayed ... Thry fasted... He said he visited some prophets, who told him not to marry her but a second girl.... He said he went against what two of the prophets said, because the other lady didnt believe in God(although she was a church goer)... He also said the prophets were yorubas, and he felt they were being tribal, because the other lady the prophets chose was yoruba, while his wifes igbo... He said he also used his common sense .... That its better to marry the gentle one than the atheist one. The point is that they both prayed about it, and he ignored the prophets thinking they spoke not of God but of their tribal sense... 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Jewessgratitud3: 7:25am On Jan 20 |
They are both childish for their acts. I mean what's it about waist beads the man can not overlook and the woman too cannot take off that it has to be causing issues between them? Secondly, the woman is tired of the marriage and I think she no longer loves the man. So trying to settle will be futile as the they'll continue to disagree since the love for each other is no longer there especially that of the woman. Let them separate for now and maybe come back at a later time. By the way, were they properly married? Because it looks like a boyfriend and girlfriend cohabiting situation. 1 Like |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by cenaman(m): 7:33am On Jan 20 |
Every day marriage wahala |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Westerhoffe(m): 7:36am On Jan 20 |
Mysteriousworld: Oh! He disobeyed the voice of the Spirit. Nice of him. Bro, just walk out of their lives. There is nothing you can do about it. You owe them absolutely nothing. Let him lay on the damp bed he chose. And don't be too persistent before any of them shift the blame on you to later bring what's not your case on you. 6 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Nomerci: 7:37am On Jan 20 |
Stfu. Hw do u know all of these details. Your neighbour abi u. Keep lying.simp 1 Like |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by FRANCISTOWN: 7:41am On Jan 20 |
immortalcrown:One case out of other 1000 cases isn't good enough for a case study. Imma fact, it's a null hypothesis. By the way, almost all the marriages from the year 2000 is nothing to write home about 4 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by FRANCISTOWN: 7:45am On Jan 20 |
Mysteriousworld:That's exactly what I tell these youngings. People change, especially women. That sweet soul can suddenly wake one day and begin to act like a spawn of satan. Most 'the times, these signs are not always there during courting, if not? Not everyone is desperate enough to proceed with a loaded gun. People learn, unlearn and relearn. Thus, women change like the weather 6 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Westerhoffe(m): 7:46am On Jan 20 |
Earthstorms: It's not really about being immature. One thing most people delving into marriage do not know or realize is, For every Adam, there is an Eve. You can't fit a wrong rib in the wrong limb and expect it to fit it. There is more to make a marriage work other than just love and understanding. You see compatibility, never overlook it. There will be a man who is really hers that will be comfortable with everything she's doing. But because she ain't compatible with this man, there will always be issues. That's why it's very very important to inquire of GOD about that partner before proposing or accepting his/her marriage proposal; and when you do, both parties MUST get a YES before proceeding. If one party gets a NO, just call it a quit before you go too far. 5 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by marlow1962(m): 7:47am On Jan 20 |
Your neighbor is a weak and foolish man. But if the neighbor is you, then so be it. |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by donmelinga(m): 7:52am On Jan 20 |
Oga, the woman is cheating. The husband just doesn't want to believe the reality. Where does she go and spend that amount of time without picking her calls?. Who does she wear waist bead aside the husband that even detest it. She wants divorce so she would complete her mission. Though it doesn't end with them sha 6 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Ibaaboy(m): 7:53am On Jan 20 |
mind your business 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by FRANCISTOWN: 7:54am On Jan 20 |
Earthstorms:Nwanne. You too much. The question is, where is she going that can't be disclosed? The woman don already see the man finish. If ever tried to cut the bead while she yet sleep. Believe me, this disrespectful woman can destroy the TV set or destroy any of the man valuable. This is what I think. The woman has some bad friends teaching her bad things or she has somebody else outside. When a woman feels like she could have married a better man or when she's got some new dude elsewhere. That's when she begins to disrespect her husband. She might not have started cheating yet, but she has enrolled for the course. Introduction to Cheating (CHT 101) 6 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by FRANCISTOWN: 8:07am On Jan 20 |
CameroonPepper:I've understood that if not for money and poverty alleviation strategy. Women will only use men for the pleasure of sex. They will never get married to a man. Emotionally, women are stronger than men when it comes to this love thing. Our fathers knew this. Case scenario: Those days, in the days of war. When a particular town subdues another town. The women from the subdued towns joyfully marry the conquerors. They have no sense of loyalty towards their husbands who die while trying to protect them. Women are only loyal to their survivals. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by FRANCISTOWN: 8:10am On Jan 20 |
Mysteriousworld:No prophet or spirit can tell you who to marry. If they could, Oyakhilome, Copeland, Kulman, Okotie and many of these so called prophets wouldn't have to go they divorce 3 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Gadafii: 8:14am On Jan 20 |
Marriage this days na big fraud Imaging the resources he put togther to marry someone that will eventually bite him and he slapped her  If they continue like this, knives go soon enter the equation, and someone will be dead and the other in jail It’s well with them 3 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Dynamicscholar: 8:15am On Jan 20 |
Mysteriousworld:So what did you settle there , shes coming back to pack her load and both of them are fighting over the custody of their son. What did settle exactly??1 Like |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Mysteriousworld: 8:21am On Jan 20 |
Nomerci: We've been living together for 3,years.... He told me more than i can say here... I asked questions too... Im kind of a spiritual brethren to them... I lead the fellowship in my estate, this isnt the first marriage ill be settling... This just happened to be my next door neighbor.... I settle marriage issues almost every 2 weeks, because many look up to me spiritually. I decided to post this on nairaland because there are many great minds here. They both can come and see y'all comments themselves.... 4 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by blackboy(m): 8:24am On Jan 20 |
Guy buy sense , no try settle them ooo. Leave them alone. Married couple fight just Siddon look unless they bring out knife or gun to kill themselves.l, then you can intervene. I dont trust the wife. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Neighbor And His Wife by Mysteriousworld: 8:30am On Jan 20 |
marlow1962: How can he be strong and wise... Theyre both reading your comments... This isnt the first time im posting about someones marriage... Infact the next one is about a female pastor who got married in september... Left the husband in december, said he beat her... The husband denies it,he has taken poison and we're presently praying for him not to die as hes in the hospital... Im not a marriage counsellor... But a spiritual brother, and many believe im wise... Even adults way older than me seek my advice... Theres another doctor in my estate(50 years old) after so much pressure from us, atlast doctor married in december... Just last week his wife went back to osun state... (It pained me i didnt see her before she left).... Her problem with doctor is that he drinks alot.... I get many of them... So kindly explain why this man is a fool. |
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