Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,160,314 members, 7,842,934 topics. Date: Tuesday, 28 May 2024 at 03:17 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men (21490 Views)
Lady Reunites With Her Twin Brother After They Were Separated At A Young Age / I’m Divorced And Living My Best Life / How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by 12inchess: 3:25pm On Jan 22 |
Bro you have right to your kids too so long as you're paying child support. It absolutely ridiculous that your kids will be with your ex wife 24/7 while you will be paying child support. You also have a right to spend time with your kids esp since you'e corvering many of their financial needs. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pussyphilia(m): 3:27pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas:You're right... infact, modern men need to start accepting infidelity by their wives instead of divorcing them on account of that. If not, we'll be having many broken homes which is not good for the society. What's them in having other men Bleep your wives It's even a great turn on for some men. |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by peanutbutterr: 3:28pm On Jan 22 |
GlobeTrotter2: that lady always feels like she has something upstairs, a bloody feminist |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Anguldi(m): 3:32pm On Jan 22 |
Afodot0022: I am on the loosing side and my effort providing for the kids outside my jurisdiction might look like a wasted efforts being that the kids are with her 247 and she can easily still the glory by making the kids believe she is the one doing the provision. Talk to the kids during holidays and tell them you will send Fees and fatherly advice. I hope you talk to them on phone Take hrt Manipulation is a game 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by MajorOvakporaye(f): 3:32pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas: Shut up!!! You ignoramus 2 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by BondRiv: 3:38pm On Jan 22 |
Rejouir: Even the advice is as promiscuous as the author. What a shameless fellow. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by abike12(f): 3:45pm On Jan 22 |
your responsibility as a father has nothing to do with your relationship with your ex-wife and the infidelity you keep mentioning is not useful information in the context of taking care of your children. the reason for divorce does not excuse you from your responsibility to your children. do not discuss this with your children in an attempt to get back at your ex, it will backfire on you and your children will view you as a bitter and frustrated person. move on with your life and hopefully you have better luck next time. |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Waper2(m): 3:49pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas:Bad mouth girl 😁 |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Amumaigwe: 3:50pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas: This old hag does not disappoint. A harlot-wife cheated, was caught and divorced. All you can recommend is for the man to fight for his marriage, one to a gutter-bred prostitute. If the man was caught, you frustrated ladies will encourage his wife to file for divorce, but do a 360 to advise the man to fight for his marriage when your gender cheats. This evil solidarity confirms that all of you are practicing the same trade. 7 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by bonnyhope: 3:52pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas: Endurance Endurance Endurance Even when yiur spouse is misbehaving right left center No wonder men life span is becoming short I pity some men 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by qtx(m): 3:56pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas:chai! ur type sha! This type na fire under bossom dem de call dem. No just go near. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Amumaigwe: 3:59pm On Jan 22 |
Afodot0022: The mistake you made was letting her walk away with your children. The custody is yours by default: a cheating wife is not worthy of raising a child especially the girl child, that is, if you have a concrete proof of her infidelity. You had an advantage but never capitalized on that. Seek redress legally and present the evidence to the judges and have the custody awarded to you (if you can foot the bill). 4 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by GAS76: 4:00pm On Jan 22 |
[color=#006600][/color] A cheating spouse is a possibility in ANY Relationship. If you like let Pastor Adeboye choose for you. It won’t mean shit!!!! I say it with my full chest. DO NOT FREAKING GO INTO MARRIAGE WITH CINDERELLA DREAMS, FANTASIES AND SELF DELUSION. Marriage is Work! Marriage is responsibility! Marriage is Duty. Especially when there are KIDS IN IT! As a human and especially as a man, know this possibility and know peace, that a Cheating Spouse is a possible outcome! Whether you trust your partner or not, people will do whatever they like to do. First rule of human interaction, TRUST NO ONE! Second Rule, you can never know anyone completely. It is impossible. Don’t deceive yourself. There are Foolish people who regurgitate hair saloon and beer parlour talk and spew over repeated trash like “if you trust him or her she won’t cheat”. It makes me laugh at how dense humans can be and how simple they see human relationships and interactions. No Oga/Madam, trust is bullshit! It won’t stop her black, red, white or purple panties from being pulled down or pulled aside. Neither will trust stop his manhood from entering the mouth of the woman he is cheating with who is hell bent on giving the experience of a life time. TRUST IS A MINDSET YOU NECESSARILY HAVE TO DEVELOP FOR YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND! Trust isn’t to prevent cheating and Trust doesn’t stop cheating!!! Trust is for your own effing peace, so you don’t kill your self with worry and heart ache and suspicion, snooping around and bothering if a guy is not currently bending her over and thrusting wickedly into her or if a lady is not wickedly and intentionally riding on top of him bouncing up and down like a possessed demon to ensure he keeps coming back. Other people say let God choose for you. Please note also that God doesn’t choose shit!!!!! It even goes against his principle of free will. GOD NEVER CHOSE A WIFE FOR ANY OTHER MAN after he made Eve!!! And there are marriages dying today and couples suffering because one hungry so called Pastor did a match from Hell! What is keeping many marriages in Nigeria today is that: a. the marriage is the meal ticket for most women; b. societal and religious shame and stigma of divorce. AKA what will the world say!; c. personal ideology of seeing divorce as a form of failure or not fighting hard enough for what is yours; d. maintaining the marriage to “pepper” friends and show off fake marital bliss. e. finally the fear that the kids might suffer during separation. NOW TO ALL DIVORCED MEN, especially those who experienced horrible things from their spouses BUT STILL HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT and take care of the kids with a cheating ungrateful ex, I say: 1. Verify the Kids are Yours. Do 3 DNA Tests if possible at 3 different places. Do secret Peace of Mind (POM) tests if possible. All Men MUST MAKE IT A POINT OF DUTY TO DO POM Tests on ALL THIER KIDS even if you married the Virgin Mary Herself and it took you eternity to disvirgin and penetrate her on your wedding night! Forget story. Do your POM Test on ALL Kids. 2. Man up and Do your duty! Fatherhood and manhood is about DUTY! Do your duty and don’t expect praise. Do your duty. That is what makes you a dad. You have made a bad choice. No wahala. Your bad! No wahala. But for the kids. DO YOUR DUTY. Fatherhood, similar to manhood is about DUTY! Protect, Provide, Comfort, Love, Support, Set Perfect Example, Be a responsible member of the society and Increase the Family’s power, influence and wealth. 3. Ensure she is using the funds for the kids and try to be in their lives. Ensure you have time to be present for the kids. If she does not, allow you to, make secret video recordings (spy pens, spy glasses, spy tie clips, etc) of your attempt at visiting the kids and her attempts to stop you. Keep these as evidence. 4. Keep ALL records of what you give. What you pay. Time you spend and make out to be with the kids. Etc. Keep ALL Records. Keep everything down to receipts of toys you buy. 5. Lastly and finally,once again, DO YOUR DUTY TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES AS A MAN! Try your best and do your duty as a man and a father. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by waleolaniyan: 4:02pm On Jan 22 |
Many people passing comments here don't know nothing. Many undefined variables that the separated spouses will have to grapple with. Blames, regrets, rejections, social stigma, inner pains, confusions, health issues, financial issues, loneliness, sexual depravity, induced addictions, etc. My prime advice to the man is: Your health, life and well-being must be your unconditionally and absolutely taken care of. No compromise with this before your life gets cut short. Do gym, look nice. Rule 2: Never jump into any relationship immediately. Take your time. Avoid hangouts that could lead into new wife and unwanted pregnancy from a hook. Preferably, stay alone or thread with utmost caution. Rule 3. Decide what to do with the old relationship or draw conclusion. This will determine your next line of action. Don't follow cacophony of advice, follow your heart based on your experience in that matter. Rule 4. Do what pleases you and will not harm your well-being on the issue of your children. Most women are selfish and will turn the children against their father by every means. This is the majority of instances. Do to your children as your pocket can afford and never regret it, or feel inadequate. Rule 5. Get involved in meaningful social or spiritual activities that would make your connect with people. Rule 6. Never keep your experience secret. Let people that matters in your circle, workplace, neighbourhood, colleagues know about it. It brings you relief. Rule 7. Decide your future and let bygone begone. Pray regularly over your situation. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by GAS76: 4:02pm On Jan 22 |
Nice one bro!👍 10thTenthMan: 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by GAS76: 4:06pm On Jan 22 |
BloomingDale:Can you pray for this for your son? This comment devoid maturity. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by churro: 4:10pm On Jan 22 |
Westerhoffe: This is not true. Every marriage requires some level of hard work and lots of commitments for it to work, even if God chooses your partner for you. |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by maureensylvia(f): 4:16pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas: Nice one Poco❤️ |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Socratiz: 4:18pm On Jan 22 |
I take it that you're here to talk about how to manage yourself and ensure a warm relationship with your kids, having divorced your wife. I am not going to explore the incident that led to the divorce because it's already in the past, and you cannot undo what has already been done. So you're here, divorced but having to financially support your two kids who are in the custody of your ex wife. Ordinarily, I would expect that you have access to them either weekly or monthly when you can take them to visit you or you visit them where they are. I can imagine the emotions of not having them under your roof 24/7 especially if you're a core family person who lives children. You'd also be wondering what your ex wife would be feeding them about you. She'd probably be painting herself as a saint. Nevertheless, you have a duty to the children. Don't bother too much about what your ex wife could b telling them. They will learn when they mature and decide for themselves. I strongly advise you don't shirk your responsibility to the kids no matter what. The other issue is whether you want to remarry. That's something to think about deeply. You could be nursing the fear of not marrying a woman who'd cheat like the first and so, become indecisive about who to marry. This would require some level of counselling and I advise you seek for a marriage counsellor if you have this apprehension. Finally, life must go on. It's good to read that you have moved on. Whether you move or not, the train of life is moving. Face your fears. Face your life. Don't allow the past to blur your vision of your future. It is well with you. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Bankowner: 4:21pm On Jan 22 |
Bro! Abeg leave your children out of whatever issues you have with your spouse. Divorce is not easy either on the man and woman or on the children so the only way you can insulate them is to ensure you meet their needs as much as possible and timely too. You're their father, so the onus is on you to ensure the children from the marriage are well taken care of irrespective of which of you has decision making responsibility on them. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:26pm On Jan 22 |
maureensylvia: My pleasure, Maureen. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by TheMostComplex1: 4:27pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas: I can't agree with you more. Well done |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:28pm On Jan 22 |
DMerciful: Why is that hard for an unemotional gender to do? Women do it and they are not dead. It should be easier for you men. 3 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:33pm On Jan 22 |
bonnyhope: Ohhh, so you know endurance reduces life span? We are making progress. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Mindlog: 4:38pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas: 😂😂😂😂😂 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Blackman101: 4:38pm On Jan 22 |
we are not in the western world, why will your ex-wife keep the kid when you two have divorced am thinking out loud oh |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:39pm On Jan 22 |
Mindlog: Mindy, shey you dey see am. If you flip it the right way, they would agree with you. |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by DMerciful(m): 4:40pm On Jan 22 |
Its hard because you begin to doubt the paternity of your kids. Besides, a man marries a woman, not the other way round. If not Christianity, you'd probably be one of several of a man's wives and happily too, so be grateful . The fact that we're not applying the traditions of our forefathers, does not mean you shouldn't appreciate where we're coming from. It's actually our fault so we nor blame una. The people that said we shouldn't marry multiple wives have remarried five times, married fellow men while many of our women are unmarried due to the difference of available men vs women. Our forefathers were wise. This see-finish for nor dey pocohantas: 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by loswhite(m): 4:43pm On Jan 22 |
EreluRoz:Your ex wife may want to use the kids to extort money from so you cannot say it has nothing to do with your ex wife. Do you want to be caring for kids that your ex wife will not allow you to see and be claiming the glory amd telling the kids how you abandoned them? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Mindlog: 4:47pm On Jan 22 |
pocohantas: "endurance reduces life span".......🤣🤣🤣 |
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:48pm On Jan 22 |
DMerciful: Once again, nobody is stopping you Nigerian men from marrying two wives. There are many men with two wives in Nigeria. Yul did it and his first left. Ned did it and the second left and came back, but his first is nowhere to be found. It is either of the two situations. Some other men also went to visit sidechics and they never came back alive. One was killed last week by an angry sidechic. So whether you marry a woman, abi na she marry you, it doesn't change the emotional damage cheating does to a HUMAN and family. Choose your poison and live with the consequences. Don't come to cry later that your kids were turned against you. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)
Broken Eye Socket And Knocked Teeth – Lady Shares Her Story Of Domestic Violence / When Is The Right Time For A Child To Start School ? / How To Know If You're Being Scammed For Marriage
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 98 |