pocohantas:


1) No marriage is perfect. She cannot be like that forever. She would definitely get tired and retire with you. Even this your new babe, shebi she is talking to other men on phone and borderline stingy. Have you left her? The next woman might be worse, so where are you men running to?

2) The logical and unemotional thing to do is to take care of the kids. Last time I checked, men are logical and unemotional, so it shouldn't be hard separating your emotions from this whole situation.

3) You are not being stopped from cooparenting. If she leaves the kids with you, you would still be pained that she is living her life while you are nurturing the kids. None would be easy for you. Pick one side and run with it for the sake of the kids.

4) There are only two things involved, you give money or you don't give. Either way, the kids would be fine. In fact, she might even be waiting for you to default, so that she can have something to use against you.

If I were you, I would keep giving with evidence. I don't mind to create a folder for it on Google Drive. Call them when you can and have them come over. They would grow to know how they want to handle the triangle.

Manipulative lies lies lies lies. This is all sentiments. U av no idea of the real situation. We are human not machines. A woman cannot cheat and expect the man to be logical. U av no freaking idea

chidiokay:


you must be related to that designer off-point, see reasoning ,what as new girlfriend and disvirgin got to do with the subject matter ... sex yii nonii

In cases of divorce won't the court grant one party child custody and who has a better leverage than "Mothers" .. maa ronu naw
Have we not seeing wifes making coparenting difficult, there are more tonto out there dey play

The biggest lie of All time, "i stayed becos of my kids ? yiimu !! the motivation behind the quote is financial dependant".
Divorce stats shows Financially independent wives crave divorce more than sex from their husband
There is nothing davido is enjoying inside marriage that a wizkid can't enjoy outside marriage better not push your luck at all

Nobody is forcing you guys to marry. I wonder why you are crying enough to type this senseless epistle. When you divorce your wife and leave those kids for her to take care of alone, come let's have this conversation. I bet she wouldn't even miss you. What kind of husband and father fools around online for years? Women dey marry sha, but normally you be her level.

Afodot0022:
Good day nairalanders, top of the day to you all.

This topic is basically for the divorce men out there that are out of their marriage and living separately from their Ex wife and kids.

Attimes divorce can be a very devastating experience that the pains felt don't go easily especially if you are a responsible man that put in your best effort in the marriage to make things work but eventually went south.

It's even more heartbreaking if you caught your ex wife cheating and having extra marital affairs when you know as a man you don't deserve such betrayal, it could easily break you as a man.

Now my bone of contention is, divorce men out there, how do you deal with the fact that you are obligated to pay child support and care and also foot school fees and medical of the kids that came out of the union despite the family being broken.

How do you cope with this when the custody of the kids are with your ex wife and knowing she was the one that betrayed you in the marriage by cheating on you, will you be comfortable still sending her money for your kids upkeep and also paying their school despite the fact they don't live under your roof.

How do you men deal with this cos attimes, it can be so discouraging knowing fully well what led to the union breakup. Presently am separated from my ex wife on the count of infidelity, my two kids have been with her ever since and attimes anytime I think about the hurt and betrayal, I will want to end any sort of provision for the kids but because am a very responsible man that wants the best for my kids, it's difficult to just look away.

Attimes my thoughts could be like in as much the kids are staying with her, I am on the loosing side and my effort providing for the kids outside my jurisdiction might look like a wasted efforts being that the kids are with her 247 and she can easily still the glory by making the kids believe she is the one doing the provision.

Pls divorce and separated men, how do you go through this turmoil and ways to navigate through to be sure you are on the right track.

When u innocent as a man it's difficult to move on. Very difficult, it takes God. Women lie alot just to get divorced, God help innocent men please.

royalfly:


What if she told you the kids are not yours? What if u gave her money after she left and used the money fir something else. Would u still send her money? Just curious

If she confirms the kids are not yours then automatically you are not under any obligation to care for those kids, let her look for the father to assume duties.

1. The above can only happen to Men who would oppose wisdom words of Elders.
2. When strong advice is given here on how to handle such creatures from foundation on time, some men who would definitely be a victim of this type of incident will side the opposite.
3. I think we should help men by uncovering the real Bitter and Anti Pills that would mitigate them from being victims.
4. The big issue is if we choose to tell you A-Z of women here, will you accept it and put same into practice? Until we are sure, we wouldn't want to waste such brave resources of knowledge.
5. Naija Women knows a man they can't toil with and they know those they can play fool off.
6. The attitudes of Nigerian women is just exceptional to them, other nationals aren't behaving like Nigerian Women.

I don't want to sound harsh, but in such circumstances above, if you were not at fault... There are codes you could initiate to make her live the rest of her life in regret... But do you have the Mind?

Crack; the best crack code to use against wicked Naija women is Emotional turture. It can make them commit suicide, depreciate their health, steal their joy and peace all the days of their lives.... It all depends on how wealthy and vast you are in deploying different emotional instruments.

There are Emotional Codes you can also use to make those children at her custody see her as a wicked Mum, irrespective of how she tries to indoctrinates them against you.... i.e the more she indoctrinates them against you, the more they will hate her and cry to change custody to be with you.

We can help men, but not until we are sure that those depths of knowledge will be utilized.

[quote author=Afodot0022 post=128065540]Thanks for your words Poco, your comment is embedded with knowledge and wisdom. True there is no perfect marriage out there but attimes taking a break is just necessary. Cheating from her was even the least of what she does, for me to back out, have already out way the negative and positive and realize leaving will be more advantageous to me.she is not supportive, she is disrespectful, she belittle me to every tom dick and harry, she doesn't cover her family affairs but rather expose to the public, she is more loyal to her family than her own immediate family,to crown it up, she added infidelity to it, this is just too much to take from a woman as a man, even though there is no perfect person,some people are more better than the others. The reason why I don't get bothered about this new babe am with now despite discovering some trait in her, I don't see myself getting into marriage again cos I don't see any advantage marriage is to a man except just responsibility and bills. Anyways thanks Poco.

What if they deny you access to the kid . No call s no pictures no video calls.

How do you handle this situation?

poweredcom:
Forget marriage wit nigerian women ita a waste to men

Nigeria women are better than Kenya women are next to the devil. When they sting you take grace to recover.

pocohantas:


Nobody is forcing you guys to marry. I wonder why you are crying enough to type this senseless epistle. When you divorce your wife and leave those kids for her to take care of alone, come let's have this conversation. I bet she wouldn't even miss you. What kind of husband and father fools around online for years? Women dey marry sha, but normally you be her level.

Front sit reservations at shiloh annually and kayamantra is that not "Force" enough abi you wan add rope nii

kian! have "this conversation" as my what ?? mentor, therapist or guardian Beelzebub, wall gecko thinking of itself as a lizard
i think its time you read laws of attraction, stop pushing your luck

I'm here to read comments

chidiokay:



Front sit reservations at shiloh annually and kayamantra is that not "Force" enough abi you wan add rope nii

kian! have "this conversation" as my what ?? mentor, therapist or guardian Beelzebub, wall gecko thinking of itself as a lizard
i think its time you read laws of attraction, stop pushing your luck

Lol. I know how attraction works. Sadly this is the closest you can come to me by that law. In reality you are with your kind. I hope you wouldn't be needing the rope soon. The delusion to think I attend Shiloh or have any need to.

EreluRoz:
If she confirms the kids are not yours then automatically you are not under any obligation to care for those kids, let her look for the father to assume duties.

Confirms? She said so and moved out of the house with soldiers. Should the man still be running after her to confirm or just let her be till she is ready to co perent by bringing proof that the kids are his? When she left she was sent some money for school supply but claimed it was money owed her while she was in the house keep in mind that she was the one who asked for money for the school supply but would end up using that money in addition to her own to change the child school

pussyphilia:
You're right... infact, modern men need to start accepting infidelity by their wives instead of divorcing them on account of that. If not, we'll be having many broken homes which is not good for the society. What's them in having other men Bleep your wives It's even a great turn on for some men.

Shit ...... God who is this please? Worst of it all she may be a married woman.

pocohantas:


Lol. I know how attraction works. Sadly this is the closest you can come to me by that law. In reality you are with your kind. I hope you wouldn't be needing the rope soon. The delusion to think I attend Shiloh or have any need to.

Lier !! you know laws of attraction yet you are happy sukki papito chose you

You better buy laws of attraction from an accredited bookshop and throw that one you bought inside amukoko traffic away ..

pocohantas:
Your ex-wife is taking care of the kids while you are busy trying to disvirgin your new girlfriend, yet you are still pained?

Why are the kids with her 247?
Did she stop you from coparenting?

If women can cook, submit and stay with cheating husbands for the sake of their kids. I don't see why this lesser scenario is hard for men to do. For a gender that doesn't benefit from marriage, this is an ideal arrangement if you ask me.

Focus on the kids.

peanutbutterr:
at afodot0022
let me give you one piece of advice, be actively, i mean very actively involve in your children lives.

once Dated a girl from a broken home, according to how her mum brainwashed her, shsaid “ her dad was so wicked to have left her and her mum less than a year after her birth.

This same man she speaks bad of financed her through university, nothing good comes out of her mouth when she speaks of her dad. luckily her mum remarried. stepdad has been trying to have a piece of her since teenage years but failed, yet she sees him as her fatherly figure.

op these would probably be your case if you don’t win the custody of you kids. have them spend christmas at your place, take them on expensive vacations, they should know their root, lastly don’t leave your children for another man to train.

To hell with the kids and the mum... karma will hunt them even after death. Who cares. People are so wicked. U can't hurt someone and give them rules to follow. To hell with all of them

OP I perfectly understand your point.
But if we should tell ourselves the truth, the pain of providing for your kids is not basically because you provide. It stems from the fact that the money you send will be used by your ex-wife for her own personal needs instead of the kids.

Most women after divorce use the kids to siphon money from their ex husband's. They lie about the kids health, the inflate school expenses, the inflate groceries and every other thing needed by the kids. They now use the money meant for the kids to live their lives.

This is exactly the scenario that men abhor. After divorce, most men are willing to allow their women to go and live their life the way they want but most women make it their life's mission to destroy the man.

OP, if it's possible, pay for only verifiable expenses. Go to their school and pay the fees directly. If they are sick, go to the hospital and pay directly. Buy the groceries and send to them. Your ex wife should also contribute monetarily in taking care of the kids. Also ensure you evidence of what you do.

Don't be scared, in future, your kids will understand especially the male children.

Shalom

chidiokay:



Lier !! you know laws of attraction yet you are happy sukki papito chose you

You better buy laws of attraction from an accredited bookshop and throw that one you bought inside amukoko traffic away ..

Of course. Who exactly was he supposed to choose? Your wife that throws grammatical bombs and cooks hideous meals? C'mon dude. Life is not a Nigerian film. Ain't no rich prince marrying an ata rodo seller. No disrespect intended.

chidiokay:



Oga i find your concerns & questions very funny, Besides i don't need to be a divorcee to know how i will feel about by children or cope post divorce, as far as they are my blood nothing changes

These is not even a case of "Easy to Say" as you would like to save face, here is what i know

That your children don't live under your roof does not make them less your blood and that still does not stop you from being present in Life, if you really care about them, you can schedule parental shift or visitation

Regardless of whatever your wife did to hurt you that does not negate the fact that your kids are innocent and should be treated as an "Entity" ..
Your Kids bear your name and as such whatever better life provision you make available to them gives credence to your name/Status, whatever Big those kids become to tomorrow they will be address by your last name thats a Father's pride and consolation

Divorce or No divorce so many Men/Fathers make mistake not letting the children see the sacrifices we make, we do everything through there mothers, .... If you are so worried your Ex wife might take your Glory, why not come all out pay the bills yourself, visit the children school to pay there school fees, take the children shopping for clothes and buy them groceries Let these kids see, Since it bugs you

While you are playing Father of the year don't forget yourself, find companionship to balance your mental health. my 2cent

To hell with all of them. U av never been there so don't even try to reason it we can only pray that the man finds it in his heart to provide foe the kids with time. Keep in mind the guy is not intentionally leaving the kids. He is hurt beyond understanding. See ehnn u all will never understand. Cheating by a woman, even bragging about it. Running her mouth that the kids are not his. Even leaves the house with help of soldiers for no reason. Sent money even while she us away for school supply ends up changing the child's school. How are u going to deal with all that. U just need God to survive that

pocohantas:


Heya. But men are sleeping with other people's gfs and wives. Are you not bothered that one of your child could be outside, DMerciful? Your child might be struggling in Ogbomoso as we speak.

pocohantas:


Your wives and mothers are always the best. Normal...

pocohantas:


Of course. Who exactly was he supposed to choose? Your wife that throws grammatical bombs and cooks hideous meals? C'mon dude. Life is not a Nigerian film. Ain't no rich prince marrying an ata rodo seller. No disrespect intended.

Maybe he is not children considerate, well that is his cup of tea ! if not for anything @least pick for the sake of the children fine you no gree fine, gbogbo toothpaste lo tii try you still get bad mouth spiced with odor

well all man for himself

You wrote an epistle to Men.

You then ignored the words of encouragement and support from other Men.

You then responded to a Woman by writing an epistle.

You made it worse by thanking the Woman who mocked and low level gaslighted you.

My conclusion:

You are a Weak Man.

Looking for validation from Women like Pocohantas

Afodot0022:
Thanks for your words Poco, your comment is embedded with knowledge and wisdom. True there is no perfect marriage out there but attimes taking a break is just necessary. Cheating from her was even the least of what she does, for me to back out, have already out way the negative and positive and realize leaving will be more advantageous to me.she is not supportive, she is disrespectful, she belittle me to every tom dick and harry, she doesn't cover her family affairs but rather expose to the public, she is more loyal to her family than her own immediate family,to crown it up, she added infidelity to it, this is just too much to take from a woman as a man, even though there is no perfect person,some people are more better than the others. The reason why I don't get bothered about this new babe am with now despite discovering some trait in her, I don't see myself getting into marriage again cos I don't see any advantage marriage is to a man except just responsibility and bills. Anyways thanks Poco.

pocohantas:


Of course. Who exactly was he supposed to choose? Your wife that throws grammatical bombs and cooks hideous meals? C'mon dude. Life is not a Nigerian film. Ain't no rich prince marrying an ata rodo seller. No disrespect intended.

Pocohantas we know you oh!

You will soon answer questions my elephant.

pocohantas:


Nobody is forcing you guys to marry. I wonder why you are crying enough to type this senseless epistle. When you divorce your wife and leave those kids for her to take care of alone, come let's have this conversation. I bet she wouldn't even miss you. What kind of husband and father fools around online for years? Women dey marry sha, but normally you be her level.

She divorced u not u divorcing her even when she cheated. U did not leave d kids for her but was playing and bragging about her going to take care of the kids to the entire world. @p. U are intelligent, do you know what pain is? I don't need to ask. I can tell u are a single mother. Most men are actually responsible. With time the man may be involved. But don't hurt an angel and expect an angelic response. A woman don't run out of a home after cheating and expect the man to care. A man logical reasoning is not that way. Cos we men don't mean we not humans

chidiokay:



Maybe he is not children considerate, well that is his cup of tea ! if not for anything @least pick for the sake of the children fine you no gree fine, gbogbo toothpaste lo tii try you still get bad mouth spiced with odor

well all man for himself

You wish.

You never start to wail. At the right time you would lay on a railway track and end it all.

FFIA:
Pocohantas we know you oh!

You will soon answer questions my elephant.

Obviously you wish you do.

Ekakamba:
Na enjoyment levels dem go dey so. Not divorced or separated.

I'm just a single mingle nicca.

Before Nko?

pocohantas:


Obviously you wish you do.

Have you been able to control your weight?

pocohantas:
When we tell you to fight for your marriages, you won't listen. A man that is not ready to endure has no business getting married. Go learn from your fathers how to endure. That is why marriages of old lasted.

It is actually vice versa....

Women are the most wreckers of marriage institutions.

Men maybe flawed but woman are brutal naturally in matter of mating

Blackman101:
we are not in the western world, why will your ex-wife keep the kid when you two have divorced am thinking out loud oh

Na this part dey vex me pass. Some Nigerian women are very wicked. So the ex husband is only good for financial provision. He too cannot enjoy the company of the children. I will say you're quite ignorant (for lack of not wanting to use a more derogatory word) to accept such an arrangement. Even if you went ahead to marry someone else you should still have the right to your kids company and love. It's like you spend your time and effort watering and planting a tree and then only your neighbor is enjoying the benefit of it's shade. Guy wise up ooooo. Make dem no do wetin dem do Do2dtun to you.

royalfly:


To hell with all of them. U av never been there so don't even try to reason it we can only pray that the man finds it in his heart to provide foe the kids with time. Keep in mind the guy is not intentionally leaving the kids. He is hurt beyond understanding. See ehnn u all will never understand. Cheating by a woman, even bragging about it. Running her mouth that the kids are not his. Even leaves the house with help of soldiers for no reason. Sent money even while she us away for school supply ends up changing the child's school. How are u going to deal with all that. U just need God to survive that

Bro don't need to be there or a divorcee to know how i will feel about my flesh & blood in any situation, "ko se le rii afin dan eru ba oloro nii " no scenerio is new under the sun.

What as the innocent kids got to do with the nonsense divorce, as far as these case is concern i am even disappointed the man thought of abandoning his children .. the mere thought naa fvckup
Whatever issues he has with the wife is
his fvcking problem leave the kids out of it, he chose a wife and he chose their mother .. Real Men take responsibilities.

When dey say shine your eye before marriage you na go dey form Man on mY Own & oversabi, if you feel your ex wife is not raising your kids properly, step in or make solid provisions