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How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:49pm On Jan 22
Mindlog:


"endurance reduces life span".......🤣🤣🤣


Endurance that women have been enduring and still outliving men. Imagine if women didn't have to endure. grin grin

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by DMerciful(m): 4:51pm On Jan 22
You know it is not the same but continue
pocohantas:


Once again, nobody is stopping you Nigerian men from marrying two wives. There are many men with two wives in Nigeria. Yul did it and his first left. Ned did it and the second left and came back, but his first is nowhere to be found. It is either one of the two situations.

Some other men also wemlnt to visit sidechics and they never came back alive. One was lilled last week.

So whether you marry a woman, abi na she marry you, it doesn't change the emotional damage cheating does to a HUMAN and family.

Choose your poison and live with the consequences. Don't come to cry later that your kids were turned against you.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:52pm On Jan 22
DMerciful:
You know it is not the same but continue

It is not the same because you think your emotional distress is more valid than that of women. Nothing else.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by DMerciful(m): 4:54pm On Jan 22
A woman that sleeps with two men around same time, will she not pass the child to the husband even if he is not the father? Thats crime against the man and most especially the child
pocohantas:


It is not the same because you think your emotional distress is more valid than that of women. Nothing else.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 4:55pm On Jan 22
DMerciful:
A woman that sleeps with two men around same time, will she not pass the child to the husband even if he is not the father? Thats crime against the man and most especially the child

Heya. But men are sleeping with other people's gfs and wives. Are you not bothered that one of your child could be outside, DMerciful? Your child might be struggling in Ogbomoso as we speak.

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Mindlog: 5:00pm On Jan 22
pocohantas:


Endurance that women have been enduring and still outliving men. Imagine if women didn't have to endure. grin grin

Biology has configured females to outlive males at all phases, from fetus to adulthood as healthwise, women are stronger than men.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 5:01pm On Jan 22
Mindlog:


Biology has configured females to outlive males at all phases, from fetus to adulthood as healthwise, women are stronger than men.

Thank God for biology. They for done use endurance eradicate us from the earth.grin
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by ucnwafor(m): 5:02pm On Jan 22
ritababe:
Okay
is been a while babe.....from ozil adventures stories
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Martinez39s(m): 5:07pm On Jan 22
10thTenthMan:
Perform your duty. That is my advice.

A cheating spouse is a possibility in ANY Relationship. If you like let Pastor Adeboye choose for you. It won’t mean shit!!!! I say it with my full chest. DO NOT FREAKING GO INTO MARRIAGE WITH CINDERELLA DREAMS, FANTASIES AND SELF DELUSION. Marriage is Work! Marriage is responsibility! Marriage is Duty. Especially when there are KIDS IN IT!

As a human and especially as a man, know this possibility and know peace, that a Cheating Spouse is a possible outcome! Whether you trust your partner or not, people will do whatever they like to do. First rule of human interaction, TRUST NO ONE! Second Rule, you can never know anyone completely. It is impossible. Don’t deceive yourself.

There are Foolish people who regurgitate hair saloon and beer parlour talk and spew over repeated trash like “if you trust him or her she won’t cheat”. It makes me laugh at how dense humans can be and how simple they see human relationships and interactions.

No Oga/Madam, trust is bullshit! It won’t stop her black, red, white or purple panties from being pulled down or pulled aside. Neither will trust stop his manhood from entering the mouth of the woman he is cheating with who is hell bent on giving the experience of a life time. TRUST IS A MINDSET YOU NECESSARILY HAVE TO DEVELOP FOR YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND! Trust isn’t to prevent cheating and Trust doesn’t stop cheating!!! Trust is for your own effing peace, so you don’t kill your self with worry and heart ache and suspicion, snooping around and bothering if a guy is not currently bending her over and thrusting wickedly into her or if a lady is not wickedly and intentionally riding on top of him bouncing up and down like a possessed demon to ensure he keeps coming back. Other people say let God choose for you. Please note also that God doesn’t choose shit!!!!! It even goes against his principle of free will. GOD NEVER CHOSE A WIFE FOR ANY OTHER MAN after he made Eve!!! And there are marriages dying today and couples suffering because one hungry so called Pastor did a match from Hell! What is keeping many marriages in Nigeria today is that:

a. the marriage is the meal ticket for most women;

b. societal and religious shame and stigma of divorce. AKA what will the world say!;

c. personal ideology of seeing divorce as a form of failure or not fighting hard enough for what is yours;

d. maintaining the marriage to “pepper” friends and show off fake marital bliss.

e. finally the fear that the kids might suffer during separation.

NOW TO ALL DIVORCED MEN, especially those who experienced horrible things from their spouses BUT STILL HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT and take care of the kids with a cheating ungrateful ex, I say:

1. Verify the Kids are Yours. Do 3 DNA Tests if possible at 3 different places. Do secret Peace of Mind (POM) tests if possible. All Men MUST MAKE IT A POINT OF DUTY TO DO POM Tests on ALL THIER KIDS even if you married the Virgin Mary Herself and it took you eternity to disvirgin and penetrate her on your wedding night! Forget story. Do your POM Test on ALL Kids.

2. Man up and Do your duty! Fatherhood and manhood is about DUTY! Do your duty and don’t expect praise. Do your duty. That is what makes you a dad. You have made a bad choice. No wahala. Your bad! No wahala. But for the kids. DO YOUR DUTY. Fatherhood, similar to manhood is about DUTY! Protect, Provide, Comfort, Love, Support, Set Perfect Example, Be a responsible member of the society and Increase the Family’s power, influence and wealth.

3. Ensure she is using the funds for the kids and try to be in their lives. Ensure you have time to be present for the kids. If she does not, allow you to, make secret video recordings (spy pens, spy glasses, spy tie clips, etc) of your attempt at visiting the kids and her attempts to stop you. Keep these as evidence.

4. Keep ALL records of what you give. What you pay. Time you spend and make out to be with the kids. Etc. Keep ALL Records. Keep everything down to receipts of toys you buy.

5. Lastly and finally,once again, DO YOUR DUTY TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES AS A MAN! Try your best and do your duty as a man and a father.
Nice one!
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by chidiokay: 5:10pm On Jan 22
Afodot0022:
Good day nairalanders, top of the day to you all.

This topic is basically for the divorce men out there that are out of their marriage and living separately from their Ex wife and kids.

How do you cope with this when the custody of the kids are with your ex wife and knowing she was the one that betrayed you in the marriage by cheating on you, will you be comfortable still sending her money for your kids upkeep and also paying their school despite the fact they don't live under your roof.

How do you men deal with this cos attimes, it can be so discouraging knowing fully well what led to the union breakup. Presently am separated from my ex wife on the count of infidelity, my two kids have been with her ever since and attimes anytime I think about the hurt and betrayal, I will want to end any sort of provision for the kids but because am a very responsible man that wants the best for my kids, it's difficult to just look away.

Attimes my thoughts could be like in as much the kids are staying with her, I am on the loosing side and my effort providing for the kids outside my jurisdiction might look like a wasted efforts being that the kids are with her 247 and she can easily still the glory by making the kids believe she is the one doing the provision.

Pls divorce and separated men, how do you go through this turmoil and ways to navigate through to be sure you are on the right track.


Oga i find your concerns & questions very funny, Besides i don't need to be a divorcee to know how i will feel about by children or cope post divorce, as far as they are my blood nothing changes

These is not even a case of "Easy to Say" as you would like to save face, here is what i know

That your children don't live under your roof does not make them less your blood and that still does not stop you from being present in Life, if you really care about them, you can schedule parental shift or visitation

Regardless of whatever your wife did to hurt you that does not negate the fact that your kids are innocent and should be treated as an "Entity" ..
Your Kids bear your name and as such whatever better life provision you make available to them gives credence to your name/Status, whatever Big those kids become to tomorrow they will be address by your last name thats a Father's pride and consolation

Divorce or No divorce so many Men/Fathers make mistake not letting the children see the sacrifices we make, we do everything through there mothers, .... If you are so worried your Ex wife might take your Glory, why not come all out pay the bills yourself, visit the children school to pay there school fees, take the children shopping for clothes and buy them groceries Let these kids see, Since it bugs you

While you are playing Father of the year don't forget yourself, find companionship to balance your mental health. my 2cent
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Martinez39s(m): 5:10pm On Jan 22
GlobeTrotter2:
she will get tired and retire with you... Can you even hear yourself Your papa!!!!!

Sorry to say, this right here is the reason I will always advice Nigerian men if you can, pls marry from another country.

Are you minding her? An obnoxious, vile, and mean child in an adult body. It would have been better to hiss (or shake your head) and ignore.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by armadeo(m): 5:12pm On Jan 22
Afodot0022:
Good day nairalanders, top of the day to you all.

This topic is basically for the divorce men out there that are out of their marriage and living separately from their Ex wife and kids.

Attimes divorce can be a very devastating experience that the pains felt don't go easily especially if you are a responsible man that put in your best effort in the marriage to make things work but eventually went south.

It's even more heartbreaking if you caught your ex wife cheating and having extra marital affairs when you know as a man you don't deserve such betrayal, it could easily break you as a man.

Now my bone of contention is, divorce men out there, how do you deal with the fact that you are obligated to pay child support and care and also foot school fees and medical of the kids that came out of the union despite the family being broken.

How do you cope with this when the custody of the kids are with your ex wife and knowing she was the one that betrayed you in the marriage by cheating on you, will you be comfortable still sending her money for your kids upkeep and also paying their school despite the fact they don't live under your roof.

How do you men deal with this cos attimes, it can be so discouraging knowing fully well what led to the union breakup. Presently am separated from my ex wife on the count of infidelity, my two kids have been with her ever since and attimes anytime I think about the hurt and betrayal, I will want to end any sort of provision for the kids but because am a very responsible man that wants the best for my kids, it's difficult to just look away.

Attimes my thoughts could be like in as much the kids are staying with her, I am on the loosing side and my effort providing for the kids outside my jurisdiction might look like a wasted efforts being that the kids are with her 247 and she can easily still the glory by making the kids believe she is the one doing the provision.

Pls divorce and separated men, how do you go through this turmoil and ways to navigate through to be sure you are on the right track.

Guy do your part. The kids aren't at fault. Also you need shared time. The kids should spend some time with you and not be with her full time.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Martinez39s(m): 5:22pm On Jan 22
@Afodot0022

As you have always done, ensure the children don't suffer any unfair or harsh treatment from you because of the issue you had with your wife. I know how you feel, trust me, but you must always realise that whatever happened between you and your ex-wife is between you both, and should stay between you both. The kids had nothing to do with it, and should not be made to suffer. The separation is enough for them, don't add to it.

If you wife is taking good care of them, allow it continue and make effort to coparent. Learn the lessons of the past and rise above the pain and shakles of the past. Finally, ensure you conduct a DNA test on all yout kids and do such in secret without a soul being aware.

You did well by refusing to continue with a cheating wife. A cheating woman must be sent packing. Never forgive or condone cheating.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Ihebu4chelsea(m): 5:30pm On Jan 22
pocohantas:


Thank God for biology. They for done use endurance eradicate us from the earth.grin
Do you think you re intelligent??
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by DMerciful(m): 5:32pm On Jan 22
Nope, never ever gotten any woman pregnant outside my wife.

Women controls sex so if you know you're committed to someone, close your legs! Its a simple sturv
pocohantas:


Heya. But men are sleeping with other people's gfs and wives. Are you not bothered that one of your child could be outside, DMerciful? Your child might be struggling in Ogbomoso as we speak.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Paramount01(m): 5:33pm On Jan 22
HaneefahRN:


You divorced your wife not the kids, why won't you continue to care for your children? You can ask for joint custody of the children so you can also feel how easy it is for her to be sorting child care.


I will even love to collect the children, God will kill my mama now, they will stay with her, I prefer make my mum dey eat my money than my Ex wife, don't teach my children wayward life

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 5:35pm On Jan 22
DMerciful:
Nope, never ever gotten any woman pregnant outside my wife.

Women controls sex so if you know you're committed to someone, close your legs! Its a simple sturv

You haven't gotten any woman pregnant asides your wife, but you are always here telling us about second wife. While you are faithful to your own wife. Clap for yourself.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by DMerciful(m): 5:38pm On Jan 22
My wife treats me with respect and care. She's the best wife in the world and I'm being honest. Ofcourse, love is reciprocal.

If she wasn't, I'll do the needful. I have never been a simp, I'm decisive and its one of the reasons she loves and respect me.
pocohantas:


You haven't gotten any woman pregnant asides your wife, but you are always here telling us about second wife. While you are faithful to your own wife. Clap for yourself.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by InvertedHammer: 5:39pm On Jan 22
Afodot0022:
Good day nairalanders, top of the day to you all.

This topic is basically for the divorce men out there that are out of their marriage and living separately from their Ex wife and kids.

Attimes divorce can be a very devastating experience that the pains felt don't go easily especially if you are a responsible man that put in your best effort in the marriage to make things work but eventually went south.

It's even more heartbreaking if you caught your ex wife cheating and having extra marital affairs when you know as a man you don't deserve such betrayal, it could easily break you as a man.

Now my bone of contention is, divorce men out there, how do you deal with the fact that you are obligated to pay child support and care and also foot school fees and medical of the kids that came out of the union despite the family being broken.

How do you cope with this when the custody of the kids are with your ex wife and knowing she was the one that betrayed you in the marriage by cheating on you, will you be comfortable still sending her money for your kids upkeep and also paying their school despite the fact they don't live under your roof.

How do you men deal with this cos attimes, it can be so discouraging knowing fully well what led to the union breakup. Presently am separated from my ex wife on the count of infidelity, my two kids have been with her ever since and attimes anytime I think about the hurt and betrayal, I will want to end any sort of provision for the kids but because am a very responsible man that wants the best for my kids, it's difficult to just look away.

Attimes my thoughts could be like in as much the kids are staying with her, I am on the loosing side and my effort providing for the kids outside my jurisdiction might look like a wasted efforts being that the kids are with her 247 and she can easily still the glory by making the kids believe she is the one doing the provision.

Pls divorce and separated men, how do you go through this turmoil and ways to navigate through to be sure you are on the right track.
/

Stop sending money to her. Let the heavens fall. cool

/
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 5:39pm On Jan 22
DMerciful:
My wife treats me with respect and care. She's the best wife in the world and I'm being honest. Ofcourse, love is reciprocal.

If she wasn't, I'll do the needful. I have never been a simp, I'm decisive and its one of the reasons she loves and respect me.

Your wives and mothers are always the best. Normal...

4 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by dove234(m): 5:41pm On Jan 22
pocohantas:
Your ex-wife is taking care of the kids while you are busy trying to disvirgin your new girlfriend, yet you are still pained?

Why are the kids with her 247?
Did she stop you from coparenting?

If women can cook, submit and stay with cheating husbands for the sake of their kids. I don't see why this lesser scenario is hard for men to do. For a gender that doesn't benefit from marriage, this is an ideal arrangement if you ask me.

Focus on the kids.
Don't pour your frustrations on the him.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by DMerciful(m): 5:44pm On Jan 22
Loool. Have you seen me remotely complain about my beautiful wifey before?

Reason i tell guys to behave like men. If a snake does not behave like one, children will use it to tie firewood.

Life is too short and beautiful women too many to die ontop one woman matter if she doesn't treat you right. Nobody is indispensable including men!
pocohantas:


Your wives and mothers are always the best. Normal...

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by Mindlog: 5:44pm On Jan 22
Paramount01:



I will even love to collect the children, God will kill my mama now, they will stay with her, I prefer make my mum dey eat my money than my Ex wife, don't teach my children wayward life

On what grounds will the court grant you the "collecting' of the children and outsource their care to your mother while their own mother is alive?

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 5:45pm On Jan 22
DMerciful:
Loool. Have you seen me remotely complain about my beautiful wifey before?

Reason i tell guys to behave like men. If a snake does not behave like one, children will use it to tie firewood.

Life is too short and beautiful women too many to die ontop one woman matter if she doesn't treat you right. Nobody is indispensable including men!

So your mothers of old who are supposedly virtuous were not behaving well, that is why your fathers took numerous wives??

Of course no one is indispensable. I am sure the OP said that before getting to this bridge.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by SPAMBOX7: 5:51pm On Jan 22
pocohantas:
When we tell you to fight for your marriages, you won't listen. A man that is not ready to endure has no business getting married. Go learn from your fathers how to endure. That is why marriages of old lasted.
As they cheated on him he should have still endured. Is that what you saying? Omo grin
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by DMerciful(m): 5:53pm On Jan 22
Men has always been fewer right from prehistoric times due to their mortality rate so there has to be several women to one man by ratio. Secondly, women wanna have their own children so they have to share. Thirdly, the sexual drive of the average man exceeds five females combined.

Nowadays, women cope by being sidechicks and men cope by discipline or having sidechicks. Take away sidechicks phenomenon, women would revolt and request the old way; the ways of our forefathers which is polygamy in its full form grin

pocohantas:


So your mothers of old who are supposedly virtuous were not behaving well, that is why your fathers took numerous wives??

Of course no one is indispensable. I am sure the OP said that before getting to this bridge.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by pocohantas(f): 5:58pm On Jan 22
DMerciful:
Men has always been fewer right from prehistoric times due to their mortality rate so there has to be several women to one man by ratio. Secondly, women wanna have their own children so they have to share. Thirdly, the sexual drive of the average man exceeds five females combined.

Nowadays, women cope by being sidechicks and men cope by discipline or having sidechicks. Take away sidechicks phenomenon, women would revolt and request the old way; the ways of our forefathers which is polygamy in its full form grin


Since you know men are fewer, why haven't you married the numerous wives you always recommend? Because you are abroad and you know say e no go funny your body ba? You sit there saying your lovely wife has done nothing. Then keep recommending it for your homebased brothers. You should have tried it when you were in Nigeria to help reduce single ladies na. Men gain nothing from marriage. Yet na men dey fight to marry 4.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by FFIA: 6:06pm On Jan 22
pocohantas:
Your ex-wife is taking care of the kids while you are busy trying to disvirgin your new girlfriend, yet you are still pained?

Why are the kids with her 247?
Did she stop you from coparenting?

If women can cook, submit and stay with cheating husbands for the sake of their kids. I don't see why this lesser scenario is hard for men to do. For a gender that doesn't benefit from marriage, this is an ideal arrangement if you ask me.

Focus on the kids.
Pocohantas go and marry.

When will that your man who keeps digging a pit with a his shovel house you?



Always remember that no matter the
WEIGHT of an ELEPHANT, it can never cause earthquake. cool

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by NastiLord: 6:07pm On Jan 22
RealNiggaDee:


how are you certain the 2 years old daughter you loved so much was yours ?
Relax, my daughter is 100% mine.
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by royalfly(m): 6:07pm On Jan 22
EreluRoz:
Caring for your kids has nothing to do with your ex wife, it is your responsibility afterall those kids didn't ask you to bring them to the world by force. Couples should learn to leave the kids out of their mess and failure.

What if she told you the kids are not yours? What if u gave her money after she left and used the money fir something else. Would u still send her money? Just curious
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by royalfly(m): 6:09pm On Jan 22
pocohantas:
When we tell you to fight for your marriages, you won't listen. A man that is not ready to endure has no business getting married. Go learn from your fathers how to endure. That is why marriages of old lasted.

Lies lies lies
Re: How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men by chidiokay: 6:12pm On Jan 22
pocohantas:
Your ex-wife is taking care of the kids while you are busy trying to disvirgin your new girlfriend, yet you are still pained?

Why are the kids with her 247?
Did she stop you from coparenting?

If women can cook, submit and stay with cheating husbands for the sake of their kids. I don't see why this lesser scenario is hard for men to do. For a gender that doesn't benefit from marriage, this is an ideal arrangement if you ask me.

Focus on the kids.

you must be related to that designer off-point, see reasoning undecided ,what as new girlfriend and disvirgin got to do with the subject matter ... sex yii nonii

In cases of divorce won't the court grant one party child custody and who has a better leverage than "Mothers" .. maa ronu naw undecided
Have we not seeing wifes making coparenting difficult, there are more tonto out there dey play

The biggest lie of All time, "i stayed becos of my kids ? yiimu !! the motivation behind the quote is financial dependant".
Divorce stats shows Financially independent wives crave divorce more than sex from their husband undecided
There is nothing davido is enjoying inside marriage that a wizkid can't enjoy outside marriage tongue better not push your luck at all

1 Like

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