₦airaland Forum

YorubaRonu01:
Endure and live with the infidelity so the marriage can last
Tueh!

Dexy4yah:
1) No marriage is perfect. She cannot be like that forever. She would definitely get tired and retire with you
So he should stay put and endure her cheating until she gets tired? Really?

You're really funny

pocohantas:
As e dey sweet me, e dey pain them. Na your mama you go chase with bottle. Feel free to stab her with it. My own mama dey her husband house and she didn't raise any hoodlum. We don't have to deal with anything like you in my family.

EreluRoz:
Caring for your kids has nothing to do with your ex wife, it is your responsibility afterall those kids didn't ask you to bring them to the world by force. Couples should learn to leave the kids out of their mess and failure.

pocohantas:
Your ex-wife is taking care of the kids while you are busy trying to disvirgin your new girlfriend, yet you are still pained?

Why are the kids with her 247?
Did she stop you from coparenting?

If women can cook, submit and stay with cheating husbands for the sake of their kids. I don't see why this lesser scenario is hard for men to do. For a gender that doesn't benefit from marriage, this is an ideal arrangement if you ask me.

Focus on the kids.

Afodot0022:
Well I don't know you and you are entitled to your comment, am sure if you went through half of what I went through in my marriage, you would have exited earlier than I did, it's not all marriages you fight for cos some are just destined to crash-land. If you are in a situation where you gave your all for a marriage, work hard to cater for your family and go extra mile to be sure everyone is comfortable and what you get from your wife is for her to be having an affair with another man, even if you fight for such marriage and continue as a man, you can never have peace in that marriage again, even the bible gave infidelity as a ground for divorce and mind you, I never said am finding it difficult to move on, even if the feeling was like that at the beginning of the separation, it's not the same again now, I have healed and moved on since, I brought this discussion up cos I believe so many divorced men are going through same and I think if you are in such scenario, you will definitely understand better

pocohantas:
1) No marriage is perfect. She cannot be like that forever. She would definitely get tired and retire with you. Even this your new babe, shebi she is talking to other men on phone and borderline stingy. Have you left her? The next woman might be worse, so where are you men running to?

2) The logical and unemotional thing to do is to take care of the kids. Last time I checked, men are logical and unemotional, so it shouldn't be hard separating your emotions from this whole situation.

3) You are not being stopped from cooparenting. If she leaves the kids with you, you would still be pained that she is living her life while you are nurturing the kids. None would be easy for you. Pick one side and run with it for the sake of the kids.

4) There are only two things involved, you give money or you don't give. Either way, the kids would be fine. In fact, she might even be waiting for you to default, so that she can have something to use against you.

If I were you, I would keep giving with evidence. I don't mind to create a folder for it on Google Drive. Call them when you can and have them come over. They would grow to know how they want to handle the triangle.

1Sharon:
Imagine thinking of ending any sort of provision for your kids.

What do your kids have to do with your wife's infidelity ?

Resetinc:
Divorce doesn’t affect men a bit, in fact, it’s more of a relief, only when kids are involved their heart/mind is always on their kids….
That’s why jezebels always use visitation denial and custody battle to hunt them….

If not for children, a divorced man is like a bird freed from a cage. 😎

Orlu13:
the day you know dat men and women are not the same, the better fr u...fr now keep talking

GlobeTrotter2:
she will get tired and retire with you... Can you even hear yourself Your papa!!!!!


Sorry to say, this right here is the reason I will always advice Nigerian men if you can, pls marry from another country.

Afodot0022:
Thanks for your words Poco, your comment is embedded with knowledge and wisdom. True there is no perfect marriage out there but attimes taking a break is just necessary. Cheating from her was even the least of what she does, for me to back out, have already out way the negative and positive and realize leaving will be more advantageous to me.she is not supportive, she is disrespectful, she belittle me to every tom dick and harry, she doesn't cover her family affairs but rather expose to the public, she is more loyal to her family than her own immediate family,to crown it up, she added infidelity to it, this is just too much to take from a woman as a man, even though there is no perfect person,some people are more better than the others. The reason why I don't get bothered about this new babe am with now despite discovering some trait in her, I don't see myself getting into marriage again cos I don't see any advantage marriage is to a man except just responsibility and bills. Anyways thanks Poco.,

LONEWOLFJOHN:
don't mind those saying trash, if your first child is of age like 13 above, communicate with him or her regularly, buy him/her phone, let the child open an account, deposit whatever you want to give out in it, anything you do aside that is a waste of resources, you Ex wife will definitely tell the kids how irresponsible you are. She will speak bad of you to the children.

Westerhoffe:
Please, choose right by allowing GOD choose the right partner for you.

That way, you'll have no reason for divorce.

Iamzik:
God can choose for you and you will use your own have to spoil it. When it comes to marriage nothing is guaranteed. People change...even those that are like angels.

It takes sacrifice and common sense, accountability and perseverance. We tend to want to overburden God when he has given us freewill to choose and determine our destiny

pocohantas:
When we tell you to fight for your marriages, you won't listen. A man that is not ready to endure has no business getting married. Go learn from your fathers how to endure. That is why marriages of old lasted.

Oshokhai69:
This is one of the most stupid advice I have ever seen. How can you be sending upkeep money to a 13 year old? Slowpokes full this Nairaland walahi

cococandy:
Am I going crazy or is that not what is expected from a good spouse? To grind and bear and endure it order to keep the home. Am I wrong?

pocohantas:
Your ex-wife is taking care of the kids while you are busy trying to disvirgin your new girlfriend, yet you are still pained?

Why are the kids with her 247?
Did she stop you from coparenting?

If women can cook, submit and stay with cheating husbands for the sake of their kids. I don't see why this lesser scenario is hard for men to do. For a gender that doesn't benefit from marriage, this is an ideal arrangement if you ask me.

Focus on the kids.

pocohantas:
Your ex-wife is taking care of the kids while you are busy trying to disvirgin your new girlfriend, yet you are still pained?

Why are the kids with her 247?
Did she stop you from coparenting?

If women can cook, submit and stay with cheating husbands for the sake of their kids. I don't see why this lesser scenario is hard for men to do. For a gender that doesn't benefit from marriage, this is an ideal arrangement if you ask me.

Focus on the kids.

Resetinc:
Divorce doesn’t affect men a bit, in fact, it’s more of a relief, only when kids are involved their heart/mind is always on their kids….
That’s why jezebels always use visitation denial and custody battle to hunt them….

If not for children, a divorced man is like a bird freed from a cage. 😎

Oshokhai69:
And you think that women from other countries are better than Nigerian women? Why are there so many dumb people in this Nairaland ?

cococandy:
So you mean that’s not good advice?

truthhurts2:
I think there's sense in what he said...

I have had experiences that makes me see a lot of sense in it, so don't just rubbish it

Dexy4yah:
You are absolutely wrong

descarado:

pocohantas:
When we tell you to fight for your marriages, you won't listen. A man that is not ready to endure has no business getting married. Go learn from your fathers how to endure. That is why marriages of old lasted.

BondRiv:
Very uncouth fellow. You are driven by emotion.

chidiokay:
Any mature Man that have lived with a woman be it 1yrs won"t see a big deal here;

Firstly, women are talkers and emotional being at that, when they are angry there is nothing they can not say, in the heat of arguememt a woman can say "I hate you" whereas she loves you like kilode

Now if a woman says the children are not mine repeatedly, under what situation did she make that ourburst, was there a fight ? is she pained n trying to hurt me back ? Did she just come back from church and made that confession? a Man must think deeply before he acts that is why we are the logical being

If she says the children aint mine, i will start by taking a deep look into those children appearance & traits for any resemblance,
are they my carbon copy ? if i don't feel convinced enough then DNA cannot be ruled out, know your fate once and for all,

However it will be very foolish of a man to just take a woman's word at face value without proper verification, No responsible Man we think the way you are reasoning sef

So becos she says they are not your children, Ope o ! you cease that opportunity to evade your responsibility as a father, go out to chop the life of your head then 20yrs after you come back to claim the children when they succeed abi
I can't teach a grown man how to treat a woman But for children i fit break nd open the man coconut head to implant sense, haba !

chidiokay:
Any mature Man that have lived with a woman be it 1yrs won"t see a big deal here;

Firstly, women are talkers and emotional being at that, when they are angry there is nothing they can not say, in the heat of arguememt a woman can say "I hate you" whereas she loves you like kilode

Now if a woman says the children are not mine repeatedly, under what situation did she make that ourburst, was there a fight ? is she pained n trying to hurt me back ? Did she just come back from church and made that confession? a Man must think deeply before he acts that is why we are the logical being

If she says the children aint mine, i will start by taking a deep look into those children appearance & traits for any resemblance,
are they my carbon copy ? if i don't feel convinced enough then DNA cannot be ruled out, know your fate once and for all,

However it will be very foolish of a man to just take a woman's word at face value without proper verification, No responsible Man we think the way you are reasoning sef

So becos she says they are not your children, Ope o ! you cease that opportunity to evade your responsibility as a father, go out to chop the life of your head then 20yrs after you come back to claim the children when they succeed abi
I can't teach a grown man how to treat a woman But for children i fit break nd open the man coconut head to implant sense, haba !

royalfly:
You have said your bit, all with imagination, trying hard to sound like you know what you are saying. What special circumstances does a woman need to say such trash. Be clear boy that no responsibility woman would say that no matter how angry she may be.... firstly you don't trow ur children under the bus because you angry, why drag them into the quarrel. Babayboy resemblance does not prove paternity. Alot of people look like u right?. Be informed that she said so not because of anything but for the singular reason that she feels nothing can happen.. if u are a Christian u would know that fathers have coursed thier children for things they did wrong, did we hear they went to hell fire because of that. If you repeatedly tell a man the kids are not his and state names of mutual friends you sleeping with then come home with soldiers to pack out.. the woman needs psychiatric evaluation. Weeks after she leaves, she ask fir money for school supply. Used the money together with hers and changed the kids school. She us simply acting what she said and wants to be responsible for the child. Life is not imagination. The guy is not saying he does not want to take care of the kids but the woman has to prove what she said, talking about real responsible men, they don't push matters under the carpet. I doubt u married. I pray u never told such words. She acted what she said so let her clear the children's name. Guy, well I know ur type.

chidiokay:
Imagination indeed ! so for your mind OP is passing through what nobody as pass through, seen or heard before some of you guyz online whu raised una sef, Na Op go 1st go thru divorce or marry bad wife

Do you know how many parent call there children "omo ale ni e" i.e bastard ... growing up i lost count the number of time my mom called me omo ale, does it mean she affirming she is not my mother

Dis the man say he is doubting the paternity of his children, why cry more than the bereaved what do you stand to gain pushing a man to abandon is children all for meaningless rant

Nothing concern me with the husband & wife madness , But the children must not be dragged into it, A responsible man will never abandon his children no matter what, there is No justification except DNA shows they are not his.

think whatever you like, i don't blame you i blame the yeye kind of Men we have now