Don't bring her to Nigeria. She will get worse !!!

Her life will be more bleeped up than it is at present. ..

Is either she do drugs or she start fuxking around for free.


There are correction centers over there . Fix her into a Christian correction center and let's watch what God will do...

Please think about this ..

Even our children back here are not listening to their parent talkless of the one in a civilized nation.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Pls send her to Nigeria as soon as possible, while the white men are trying their best to move the best brains out of Africa to develop their own land, blacks in the white man's land are trying their best to send down thier demented brains to Africa. Africa don suffer.

flokii:
What usually gives abroad dwellers the impression that sending a terrible child back to Nigeria will automatically make them better?.. are you guys subtly admitting that the Nigerian system still has some good sides or what?

They know it is a place where they can carry out cruel, unlawful activities and get backing from cruel, unlawful people who have no care for human rights and probably know nothing about them either.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Did she have access to biological mom? Let's figure that one out first.

How do you part ways with her mom?

Bring her back, and leave the rest to us. She gon luurn.

Don't bring her to Nigeria. She will get worse !!!

Her life will be more bleeped up than it is at present. ..

Is either she do drugs or she start fuxking around for free.


There are correction centers over there . Fix her into a Christian correction center and let's watch what God will do...

Please think about this ..

Even our children back here are not listening to their parent talkless of the one in a civilized nation.

If you decide to leave her with relatives and she run away what will you do ?

If you put her in boarding school here and they turned her to a lesbian what will be your gain. Or her male teachers turn her into sex addict what will be your gain.... Think twice

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Truths9ja:
yes , you may be right. The point here’s that her dad is hiding secret things from his daughter.

Secrets like the woman he's living with isn't her mother? Maybe he fought to "collect my child from her mother, it's my child"?

Nobody gets to threaten me. He needs to lay down the law. Good behaviour's at home (there is no perfect child) , good disciplined boarding school or foster care if she goes to social services . She will choose her own destiny.

Just make sure you are doing your part especially as her mother is not there. Do you have daddy and daughter time when you take just her out and build bounds of love even once every 2 to 3 months does wonders.

What type of relationship does she have with your partner. Is she just disciplinarian or are there love moments. She needs to know she is loved and wanted.

Zupay:
You can't send her back to Nigeria, a girl for that matter. What excuse do you have to give to the management of the school she attends for withdrawing her? See you, see wahala.

I have a Ghanaian co-worker who told me he wanted to send her daughter who is 12 years old back to Ghana to finish secondary school and the daughter warned him if he should try making arrangements, she would inform her teacher, get social workers involved and if he forcefully wants to fly with her to Ghana, he would be arrested at the airport as her name will be on the immigration 's no fly list.

BRATISLAVA:


All you know is how to beat. You even want to beat her so badly that she will be taken from you.

You and your new wife have a lot of explaining to do. Your daughter isn't a saint, neither are you two. You made her that way. If boys can have conversations with her, why can't either of you? This is how Father's drive their daughters into the welcoming arms of pimps and other shady characters. The problem is never you.

What you see is what you nurtured.

Wish somebody out there will direct that girl to social service. That's when he will know he has messed up big time.
That gal is screaming for attention,love and care and the human called her dad is not aware of such.
Rebellion is the number one culprit when someone is looking for attention. Even adults do that. That's a very lonely preteen out there and so vulnerable. The dad and step mum that should be her protector and guide are yarning dust.
I'm so angry. Let this be one of those nairaland fake story.

PROPEACE:

Since your Ghanian co worker was stupïd enough to tell his daughter of his plan, then he should live with it.

Gbam!! These abroad children think say dem get mind until dem see strong tin! E get one man wey mari wife from Naija carry go US, dem never finish her immigration papers bifor she begin call police for oga. Na so og come pet di banny wella then carry back to Naija say make dem visit home. As dem reach house oga cancel immigration papers den con divorce di banny. Till today di banny hang for Abuja.

Well, few people with similar issues that I heard of made arrangement and send their kid back to Nigeria and I think that's the best solution for now.

Most importantly, bringing her home will not only reset and change her mentality, but it will also expose her to the culture and beauty of being an African.

Bringing her Nigeria is not to punish her, but to make her understand the African culture of showing respect to parents and people around us.

But please do a little more investigation why she behaves how she does, but if you think you've studied her enough, please bring her home to finish her secondary education

descarado:

Wish somebody out there will direct that girl to social service. That's when he will know he has messed up big time.
That gal is screaming for attention,love and care and the human called her dad is not aware of such.
Rebellion is the number one culprit when someone is looking for attention. Even adults do that. That's a very lonely preteen out there and so vulnerable. The dad and step mum that should be her protector and guide are yarning dust.
I'm so angry. Let this be one of those nairaland fake story.

Let's hope it's a fake story.

Because if it's true, that's a girl with a father who failed her with preference for his wife and their children.

It’s difficult to advise. Where is her mom ?

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Send her back and adopt me
I swear I no go misbehave

Mandem2:

Gbam!! These abroad children think say dem get mind until dem see strong tin! E get one man wey mari wife from Naija carry go US, dem never finish her immigration papers bifor she begin call police for oga. Na so og come pet di banny wella then carry back to Naija say make dem visit home. As dem reach house oga cancel immigration papers den con divorce di banny. Till today di banny hang for Abuja.

Sharp man, baba Don see future already

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Send her to me, let me help you train her. I base in Gombe.

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Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

You can send her back to Nigeria but not to a boarding school. Enroll her in a day school and let her live under the care and guidance of a trusted married male relative, if possible that resides not in a big/exposed city.

BRATISLAVA:


What if she becomes lesbian instead and continues as she is? He's far from the root cause.

Her father's explanation led me to understand that his priority now is to address her behavior. Initially, she began to grasp the significance of her parents and adopted a demeanor of politeness and respect, akin to a daughter honoring the memory of her absent parents.

Bro.... this is nothing new. What took you so long to reach out? ... were you hoping it was just a phase? She is well aware of her rights and power over you as a parent. Did you not notice she had a problem with your wife?... that resentment can only get worse over time ... as it has. This can seriously affect children and they often retaliate by living recklessly... which seems to be in this case. She expects the same love and attention given to her by her mother .... and to make matters worse ... she likely feels others are more loved than her. Most likely .... she is running with boys .... her way to find love and attention ... and almost sure she is sexually active ... very active. With this generation... she is also probably doing drugs. I believe taking away her TV will only make matters worse .... no phone... no TV ... what is she coming home early to do? ... with her enemies?
Where is her mother? ... how long has she been removed from Nigeria? ... does she have friends there? ... would she be in a safe environment if she goes back? What about schooling? Cover these points before sending her back. You'll have to send her back through deception .... can't let her know it is your intention. Most common is to take her on vacation .... two weeks ... you return unannounced in a week or few days with her passport.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Your case is just very similar to what i have experienced with someone’s child in the UK, this girl child is just terrible her mother wants to give her up to social worker she can cope any longer.

She insults her mother, talk to her mother rudely, smokes vape comes home late refuses going to school. It’s just terrible and she is just 12

Zupay:


That is why the OP is in a fix. If he sends the daughter back to Nigeria, e go explain tire to the authorities and they must do video call with the girl where she is in Nigeria and interview her and we know she would say anything to find herself back in that Country and when she returns, she will longer live with her family anymore and OP knows he is at risk of losing his other children.

My wife works in social care and always says UK govt agencies usually raises eyebrow when a female teenager leaves the UK on holiday and don't return. 2 possibilities usually come to their mind, it is either the girl has been married off or taken to be circumcised and the schools drill these into the heads of their children, emails and phone numbers they can use if they find themselves taken out of the UK and left behind in their home country against their wish.

DaMn, lesson learned. Thank you zupay

khalifjgusau:


Her father's explanation led me to understand that his priority now is to address her behavior. Initially, she began to grasp the significance of her parents and adopted a demeanor of politeness and respect, akin to a daughter honoring the memory of her absent parents.

He should address his own behavior if he wants to change hers.

He sounds like her. Children are good learners.

Zupay:


Na yarn abi, send the pikin go rural school, make we how social workers go allow you live comfortably, e sure me die say dem go first suspend you from work, begin interrogating your wife and other children, pray make ur wife no go fold and tell dem say she no agree with you take una pikin go village but you insisted, u and dat your wife and other children no go live inside the same house again because social workers go tag you a danger to your family.....u think say na 9ja u dey?

Guy you dey yarn okpata. There's no law in any country preventing someone from taking his kids back to his home country

I feel your pain. No parent should go through this.

Are you sure you've exhausted the dialogue option?

For her to threaten to call the police if your wife touches her, it means she has either been beaten or threatened with bodily harm.

Search yourself to see if you've done everything right by her. Investigate to know how she's been treated at home in your absence, since you're barely home with her and you've stated that she behaves when you're around.

Then spend some private time alone with her...try to reach her emotionally. Every child can be reached.

brain54:
You are sure your wife has nothing to do with this...?

I somehow get the feeling the young girl is being rebellious for a reason!

That is my fear because his wife will never allow him take this decision if that rebellious child was hers in a different relationship.

He should make investigations about this.

SoNature:


There's absolutely nothing wrong it.
Nairaland is a faceless forum.
Tinubu can be a member here and you won't know that.
Anyone can seek advice here.
Afterwards, he will filter everything and applies what works for him.

You have your opinion, I have mine.
Bye 👋

mysticwarrior:
For the next three weeks be nice to her, use a well planned deceptive strategy to coax her into thinking she is getting the best treatment from her dad. then tell her you are takimg her to Nigeria to attend a music concert in Nigeria.

Make her believe she would personally meet wiz kid, davido, tems, rema, burna boy and her favorites nigerian artists. You may choose to do this when it's close to her birthday period and make it appear as if you want to give her a good birthday present.

When she is finally in Nigeria take her to a village school where she won't have access to a phone and Internet, that way she won't be able to communicate with her former class mates in obodo oyibo to help her contact the British or American embassy for rescue operation.

All these methods you people are talking about are too outdated. So which so-called village schoolchildren don’t have a phone? In 2024? Come on!

This format could have held some years ago, not now. Most villagers are now even more evil than city dwellers sef.

To avoid her influencing her siblings you want to send her to boarding school in Nigeria where she is then free to influence other people's kids with her bad behaviour?

You removed TV in her room, collected phone from her, why gave her all these as a child before?

This is an elderly advice.

Please don't conclude too early on the behavior of the girl. Take her out during your free time. Buy gifts for and and spend time with her, try to find out if she is going through any challenges. Tell her to confide in you and you promise to keep the secret if she is reacting to anything.
You will be shocked to hear some things that will blow your mind.
She is obviously getting frustration in the house and no one understands why. She won't just become toxic and be telling your wife to her face that she is not her biological mother. Take your time to understand the situation.

Don't be one sided in your judgement and reactions after she opens up to you, because you may be surprised that your wife is the major cause of this issue. If you are the woman wrapper type that thinks my wife my wife and no reservations as a man on what she does and she is the no control type of woman ,then you can be sure that you are fighting a lost battle.

Best of luck.

Zupay:


Even if he had told her they are going to Ghana on holidays, she will certainly tell her friends here in the UK that she is going home with her dad for holidays. If she doesn't resume school the next term, that would be an issue, her friends will talk and social worker will knock at my colleague's door to explain the whereabout of the daughter. If e talk say she don start school for Ghana, not informing the UK school is a red flag as dem go even suspect say she carry the girl go do female circumcision for their village.. Police would be involved, there would be video call to the girl in Ghana and she go expose her papa and when dem go bring am come back him, she no go live with her parents again, na government get am.

You are very correct
This is not Nigeria where anything will be swept under the carpet

Send her to Nigeria, if her behaviour continues unchecked, she may still do something that may cause child protection services or social services to become involved and once they do, they start plotting to take all your children into care of government and even give them out for permanent adoption meaning you may lose the right to ever get them back. A couple of years in Nigeria should be enough to reset her attitude. Boarding school is good especially if you don't have a trusted relative she can live with.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

efemena5050:
All these over sabi trying to always sound intelligent and wise ...very annoying. U see where the oga say due to his work schedule he don't normally have time for the jezebel to be ......ur trying to discredit total summations (recommendations) of people .....here ....wetin u know?.....the man better send tht child back to Nigeria to face hardship either in a village school or command day school (army) where the oyinbo rubbish will be ridden from her

Na people like you be herd mentality...

Aka sheep mentality. Just follow the crowd dey go.

If that's your child you won't do all possible within your power correct her before shipping her to suffer and feel the hard ship as you put it?

Has he tried other alternatives like councelling. Has he asked her the reason she comes home late or where she even goes after school? Okaaay... Because he doesn't have time due to work. If he loves his daughter so much he would create time to talk with her and find out what are issues are.

It's always very easy to advice someone without putting yourself in that position first. Especially nonsense and in practical advice that you cannot practice if faced with similar situations.

Talk is very cheap sheep!