I see nothing wrong in what you did.

Agreement is agreement and must be respected by parties involved.

Kudos for such a brave act.

You are probably not telling the full story. If you ask the girl now, you may have asked for more than you told her in the first place...But no matter what, you shouldn't have kicked her out that way...You could book her a ride home.... Or better still allow her stay in the sitting room or another room while you invite your new girl.... If you had acted nicely that night, I bet you that girl may prolly give in willingly later at night or maybe another day.

Rokiat:
She deserve it for dealing with a low bum
Dustie like you.

Hopefully she is young and she will learn because some of them have no self worth and self love left in them.

Just imagine this fucker…y.

shut the f up u women like to pretend a lot for people that have a faster expiry date u know nothing jus quick to throw buzz words around if knew what’s up why did she come she deserved everything she got

Very irresponsible and childish man

NSK4U:


There are subtle ways to initiate sex or cuddle as he wanted without making oneself look unnecessarily desperate.....

It now projects his longtime care for her as a favour to be repayed with sex whether by agreement or not......

My thoughts exactly.

Showing desperation for sex is a BIG BIG RED FLAG/TURN OFF especially if the "relationship" isn't defined.

It's a sad situation really. Some men feel if you're nice to a lady, the lady needs to repay them with sex.

This is how some of them get into trouble abroad.

DrFunmisticGlow:
Nigeria is too hot to be hugging and smelling body odour.

he is in his house with ac

Rokiat:
She deserve it for dealing with a low bum
Dustie like you.

Hopefully she is young and she will learn because some of them have no self worth and self love left in them.

Just imagine this fucker…y.

Will you shut the fkp, you can eat someone's money without giving it to him while you Rush to give bad ugly boys on the street who don't give a kobo to You?

folake4u:


My thoughts exactly.

Showing desperation for sex is a BIG BIG RED FLAG/TURN OFF especially if the "relationship" isn't defined.

It's a sad situation really. Some men feel if you're nice to a lady, the lady needs to repay them with sex.

This is how some of them get into trouble abroad.

In all of this, we should remember OP requested cuddling prior to her presence in his apartment, which she agreed to. Upon arrival, she disagrees, which she has the right to. OP is not at fault. Agreement is agreement. It is dishonest to change the goalpost in the middle of the game.

GerogeI:


What a disgusting human being.
Y

In all of this, she could have declined the request to cuddle him. We make it look like women cannot or don't have the right to choose or independence of thought. "I am not doing, I disagree to cuddle, I am not coming to your house for that reason" etc.

AndrewTate:
Her body for you to just chose to “cuddle” with is crazy…. Your spending on her was never pre-agreed to be one with strings attached so keep it that way. You want to “cuddle” with her cos you’re sad about your business? and not because you’re both in an intimate relationship. What is a woman to you?
If you can’t continue what you’ve started without keeping your hands off her then end it all or formally propose love to her and be in a proper relationship. Women are valuable humans too!! Geeeeeezzzz
Having to explain this is crazy sad!!!

Shut up your leaking brain.
Did she know why she was called?
Did she come?
Did she even give any previous explanation before that 10pm?
How inconsiderate can you be to allow him prep the air till it was time and then turn him down?

This guy is not totally in the right based on not considering her safety. But playing the “value of a woman body” card is a dumb contribution from a man like you.

He knows his wrong and stated it. He feels guilty about his action but you all are turning your eyes away from the ill habit of ladies to men these days. You train a lady to believe that everything is free. Even the sacrifices of men are not appreciated. You can't talk about that but you can keep faulting a man with a single wrong.

If her decision was not stupid ask your sister to do it.

Gerrard59:


In all of this, we should remember OP requested cuddling prior to her presence in his apartment, which she agreed to. Upon arrival, she disagrees, which she has the right to. OP is not at fault. Agreement is agreement. It is dishonest to change the goalpost in the middle of the game.

Cuddling? I saw that part.
I want you to answer me truthfully.

Do you cuddle your female friends when you're emotionally down?

Wouldn't you feel weird if any of your female friend tells you a fellow male friend was down and she went over to cuddle him.

I hope you're aware that cuddling is an affectionate/intimate/prolonged type of hug.

If he really wants a cuddle, let him define the "relationship" he has with the girl. Period!

Agreement is agreement. Good and fine. But there was no contract signed for such, she has every right to back out.

It is also dishonest of him not to define the relationship with the girl. I totally understand what was running through the girl's mind. She doesn't want to be "anybody's fool".

AyobamiOluwole:


You are right. I only felt it was not too much to ask for.

He is wrong!
Stop apologizing to many of this persons on nairaland
You were wrong but understand yourself too. Be kind to yourself. You acted based on your need but it was extreme. That is the only thing you should apologize for.

folake4u:


Cuddling? I saw that part.
I want you to answer me truthfully.

Do you cuddle your female friends when you're emotionally down?

Wouldn't you feel weird if any of your female friend tells you a fellow male friend was down and she went over to cuddle him.

I hope you're aware that cuddling is an affectionate/intimate/prolonged type of hug.

If he really wants a cuddle, let him define the "relationship" he has with the girl. Period!

Agreement is agreement. Good and fine. But there was no contract signed for such, she has every right to back out.

It is also dishonest of him not to define the relationship with the girl. I totally understand what was running through the girl's mind. She doesn't want to be "anybody's fool".

When he was caring for her that one was not affectionate abi?

horia:


When he was caring for her that one was not affectionate abi?

If he wanted the full package, he should make it official and make her know his intentions.

I don't like dodgy people. Use your mouth talk am.

Thread full of SIMPS including the SIMPSON OP..an Alpha would not even spend that much on a girl he isn't fvcking..what is cuddling?are you a pvssy?what type of men are we now having like pvssies.. disgusting

folake4u:


If he wanted the full package, he should make it official and make her know his intentions.

I don't like dodgy people. Use your mouth talk am.

He should go for the full package, He should talk?
Why did she say nothing when he talked?
Who is dodgy here? The one who asked for something or the one who couldn't turn it down because she thinks she can slide her way through this one?

funkemary:


He invited me over and I accepted. Fine. Do you have to rub it on my face? Manner of approach matters a lot you know right. The fact that you are buoyant financially doesn't mean you should not checkmate how you approach people coz your intention may be right but I tell you this, your approach can make it look bad.

P.s I never supported her for not going with T.P and I wonder why you are not seeing what the guy did wrong. Are you saying you can even do worse?

meanwhile this is what you get when you are completely dependent. For me, I rather learn with peoples mistakes than wait until it gets to me

Happy Sunday

Any girl born even yesterday knows when a guy is interested in her.

If a guy invites you to come over and tells you he needs to cuddle and you don't get the 411 then you are certainly on a long thing.

As for the behaviour of the guy, he has the right to invite and eject whoever he likes from his house. If you don't want to be sexually assaulted you dont dine with the devil period. If you choose to do so with a long spoon, come prepared. The guy in question asked the girl to leave. He didn't force himself on her or beat her up.

Sending her out of ur house at that odd hour is wickedness. Put ur sister on her shoes,how will u feel??

horia:


He should go for the full package, He should talk?
Why did she say nothing when he talked?
Who is dodgy here? The one who asked for something or the one who couldn't turn it down because she thinks she can slide her way through this one?

From what the Op narrated here, he asked if she had a boyfriend and she replied "No".

There was no mention of him asking her out!

She also has every right to turn him down.

Infact, both of them fit each other.

folake4u:


From what the Op narrated here, he asked if she had a boyfriend and she replied "No".

There was no mention of him asking her out!

She also has every right to turn him down.

Infact, both of them fit each other.

Turn him down by going to his place and even getting dinner 😂😂😂

horia:


Turn him down by going to his place and even getting dinner 😂😂😂

Must you people sleep with all female acquaintance that visit?

AndrewTate:
What if I’m depressed and I asked for your balls for rituals to redeem me from my depression?

Know the value of things to people before asking for them. If he needed cuddles he could have paid for one. If he needed it that bad, whether he has sex with them is his own decision. She’s not his girlfriend, “BOUNDARIES” is a word used in situations like this! Whether you’re spending or not. He said their relationship was with no strings attached. The best he could have gotten from her was words of encouragement or if she had enough money to help him out. NOT THE BODY! Whether sex is involved or not! If a lot other women have devalued themselves before the world it doesn’t make it the norm!

Your comments here shows there are good and intelligent men on nairaland who have good understanding not those myopic and double standard men who are quick to call women olosho but now against a woman who refuses to be used . , in your other comment you mentioned that women s thought processes are quite different from men which is very true, i respect people like you. All I see from the story is that the girl is not ready yet and may want a defined relationship before going intimate. God bless you

Dracula123:
This is/was a friendship that wasn't built on romance. There's no part in your story where you asked her to be your girlfriend.

The fact that you are generous to her doesn't mean you can do whatever you want whenever you want.

Sending her out of your house isn't bad since she's not giving you what you want, you should have given her a little token for TP. Don't forget you were the one that called her to come

My thought too, she may have turned him down because there s no definition of what they are, women understand direct words not parables, he asked her to come and cuddle him but in his mind he wanted sex and maybe he was going beyond what she expected and and she refused to give in . Personally I have many Male enemies because I turned them down so I understand the scene but I can see that this writer has conscience and that's a good thing.

She wanted to use you but she got hurt instead…Na food she con eat sha…Don’t feel bad 10 O’clock is not too late for some girls.And definitely she had spare cash for tfare or she trek sef lol na she sabi.It’s your house and your decision.You told her what you wanted before inviting her so na she Bleep up.She suppose apologize to you sef.

[quote author=Nackzy post=129070634]Noooo, imagine it was your sister or mum, imagine she got raped [/quote

Raped? Is that the first time she will be moving at night? Mtchew

folake4u:


Cuddling? I saw that part.
I want you to answer me truthfully.

Do you cuddle your female friends when you're emotionally down?

Wouldn't you feel weird if any of your female friend tells you a fellow male friend was down and she went over to cuddle him.

I hope you're aware that cuddling is an affectionate/intimate/prolonged type of hug.

If he really wants a cuddle, let him define the "relationship" he has with the girl. Period!

Agreement is agreement. Good and fine. But there was no contract signed for such, she has every right to back out.

It is also dishonest of him not to define the relationship with the girl. I totally understand what was running through the girl's mind. She doesn't want to be "anybody's fool".

When she got there, she would have told him straight that this cuddle, I am not comfortable with it. Do you want to date me?

Women like to play men and your response confirmed same. Why would you talk of contract?

Like someone pointed out, she should have told him point blank, I can't cuddle.

Women, you lots weird sometimes.....

Even though she didn't respond to your request but sending her out at that odd hour was very wrong. What if she got missing, kidnapped or involved in an accident? Do not let your emotions control you. We are all humans.

folake4u:


My thoughts exactly.

Showing desperation for sex is a BIG BIG RED FLAG/TURN OFF especially if the "relationship" isn't defined.

It's a sad situation really. Some men feel if you're nice to a lady, the lady needs to repay them with sex.

This is how some of them get into trouble abroad.

Yep

biographyinsigh:


When she got there, she would have told him straight that this cuddle, I am not comfortable with it. Do you want to date me?

Women like to play men and your response confirmed same. Why would you talk of contract?

Like someone pointed out, she should have told him point blank, I can't cuddle.

Women, you lots weird sometimes.....

If she had said that line too, you lots would have still called her "desperate" or "too forward".

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't like to play men. Personally, I don't give a fuçk about many men except people I know.

Yes. I said contract because I was trying to give an example.

Certainly, she should have also declined his offer of cuddling him the first instance he mentioned it.

Still his action of throwing her out of his house is unjustifiable.

obi58:


Any girl born even yesterday knows when a guy is interested in her.

If a guy invites you to come over and tells you he needs to cuddle and you don't get the 411 then you are certainly on a long thing.

As for the behaviour of the guy, he has the right to invite and eject whoever he likes from his house. If you don't want to be sexually assaulted you dont dine with the devil period. If you choose to do so with a long spoon, come prepared. The guy in question asked the girl to leave. He didn't force himself on her or beat her up.

So the girl should just assume things in her head that this guy is interested in her without the guy saying anything of the sort just because he gives her stipends

Sheh you know the handwriting are written on the wall that this said guy only wanted her for the night and there is every possibility that it won't stop after one night. She is wise not to accept fling that has no direction

All I can see is a man that is taking advantage of a vulnerable girl. Because you are helping her, she should use her body to pay back at your beck and call. These are the kind of people that find themselves in the place of authority and use help as bait to catch vulnerable women, and anytime they need to harvest what they have done for the woman. They see it as their right. They see women as nothing but property that they can use at will. Remember you have loved ones who are females, life know how to play back.

Inyaky:








Your comments here shows there are good and intelligent men on nairaland who have good understanding not those myopic and double standard men who are quick to call women olosho but now against a woman who refuses to be used . , in your other comment you mentioned that women s thought processes are quite different from men which is very true, i respect people like you. All I see from the story is that the girl is not ready yet and may want a defined relationship before going intimate. God bless you

thanks a lot for your observation. God bless you too 🙏🏾