₦airaland Forum

You are meeting women who are looking for a way out of poverty and they think a relationship is the express.
Unfortunately that's the average Nigerian girl.
They think a relationship is a full time job

It’s not lack of money that ends most relationships. It’s the lack of purpose, direction, and effort that often comes with being broke for too long without a plan to grow. Don’t lead with your bank account. Lead with your drive, your honesty, and your ambition.
The right woman won’t mind starting small—if she sees you’re going somewhere.

jimmyolasun:
I have come to realize that if you are broke, your relationship won't last no matter how good a lady is.. except she is a long time girlfriend or a desperate one

[u made the best decision of your life bro.
Manipulation is in different phases. That was phase 1.
But lucky u, u failed the test (in her books), but u passed in reality.
As long as you are in this bongo, chances of u meeting true love that’s not first (testing/manipulating) u to guess ur strength or size u up, is less than 5%.
Cos seems even the once working are tending to be same.
But there are 5% who will let u do the “take care of me” thing on ur own volition and strength and not gonna use it as yardstick to meansure ur love.

I met one like that during my NYSC in onitsha. She was next to an angel, but I was jus starting life with uncertainties, cudnt commit promise to a woman yet and perhaps I fail to fufil?

Yes, it’s true that some women enter relationships hoping to escape poverty, and some do treat their partner like an ATM. But to say that’s the "average Nigerian girl" is an unfair and lazy generalization.

Let’s be honest, many men also chase relationships for sex, status, or convenience—should we then call that the average Nigerian man? Nigeria is tough—but love doesn’t have to be.
Stop saying “that’s how all girls are.”
Start saying: “That’s not what I want—and I’ll wait for what I deserve.”

Not every woman wants your pocket. Some genuinely want your peace, your vision, and your presence.

Exousiang01:
You are meeting women who are looking for a way out of poverty and they think a relationship is the express.
Unfortunately that's the average Nigerian girl.
They think a relationship is a full time job

chazon:
[u made the best decision of your life bro.
Manipulation is in different phases. That was phase 1.
But lucky u, u failed the test (in her books), but u passed in reality.
As long as you are in this bongo, chances of u meeting true love that’s not first (testing/manipulating) u to guess ur strength or size u up, is less than 5%.
Cos seems even the once working are tending to be same.
But there are 5% who will let u do the “take care of me” thing on ur own volition and strength and not gonna use it as yardstick to meansure ur love.

I met one like that during my NYSC in onitsha. She was next to an angel, but I was jus starting life with uncertainties, cudnt commit promise to a woman yet and perhaps I fail to fufil?

Yes, some women manipulate. Yes, there are those who “test” you with money, and yes, it can feel like 95% are transactional. But let’s be real: True in some cases — but also, not everything is manipulation.
Sometimes, people are immature, insecure, or simply influenced by what society says love should look like (i.e., money = care). That doesn’t excuse their behavior — but labeling everyone’s behavior as "a phase of manipulation" can make you build walls where boundaries would’ve been enough.

That pain you’re speaking from?
It’s valid — but be careful not to let it turn into bitterness or a blanket judgment. Don’t turn disappointment into doctrine.
You can protect your heart without poisoning your perspective.
True love exists — but only those with clear minds and healed hearts will see it when it comes.

A lady called you to be in a relationship with her and you sincerely worry why it didn't last?

Nigerians girls and billings mentality. Any hello, you must drop money o

Money money money, I don tire

As a boy know it that you will become a man soon and you have to save and prepare yourself for that purpose...

What do I mean, you have to know that responsibility is not found in girlfriend/ boyfriend affairs, inshort, you are rather wasting your resources and time...

So what to do.....accept that nothing is wrong with you, assuming you said you meant relationship that should lead to marriage, than I could have said maybe their is a blockage somewhere but since the relationship is just to know ladies life more, I think you should first learn ladies from just being a friend than entering a relationship you know billing is a waste of efforts ..

Save for your Marriage and family , use now to plan your income, plan your second and third sources of money as having one income source in Nigeria now is a suicide bomber mission,..one must explode one day...

Then lastly, try to find your true self in God, do you have an assignment with God I heard you say you guys avoided sex , how many men can allow such?? So I believe there is a divine mission surrounding you which is the purpose of God in your life now not relationship so that's why none is working...

Just use this stage in your life to fine tune your position with God and with man, then peace will envelope you in near future ...

Rearealki:
I am really concerned about this.
My last relationship ended like my first.
Billing!
Ok, so this lady called me that we should be in a relationship. I was excited about it and we started dating.
[b]We haven't had sex we are both Christians. [/b]
This particular week she started testing me financially. First she said she is hungry, later she said her phone spoilt then she said she needs a new laptop.
What made us breakup was when she said she needed airtime. And as at then I didn't even have any available money except my savings I said I don't have
She then told me she deserves to be taken care of that she hasn't asked me directly of anything than this airtime. It shows I am stingy...and if it's happening like this this early we might have to cutoff. She said is it because we both work in same place and we earn same salary? ,she said I should take care of her
So I thought about her statements and I told her we should break up. That I am not ready.
I

This same scenario happened to me in my first relationship. I really loved my first love. But she pressured me financially. Which led me to all end it.

The bolded is a proof that you're not yet a born again Christian or probably you've backslided.....

Someone who fills entitled to bill you knowing fully well that you earn the same salary and you who wants a relationship but don't want to spend without having second thoughts of I'll feelings........both of you shouldn't be together in any form of relationship.

Rearealki:
I am really concerned about this.
My last relationship ended like my first.
Billing!
Ok, so this lady called me that we should be in a relationship. I was excited about it and we started dating.
We haven't had sex we are both Christians.
This particular week she started testing me financially. First she said she is hungry, later she said her phone spoilt then she said she needs a new laptop.
What made us breakup was when she said she needed airtime. And as at then I didn't even have any available money except my savings I said I don't have
She then told me she deserves to be taken care of that she hasn't asked me directly of anything than this airtime. It shows I am stingy...and if it's happening like this this early we might have to cutoff. She said is it because we both work in same place and we earn same salary? ,she said I should take care of her
So I thought about her statements and I told her we should break up. That I am not ready.
I

This same scenario happened to me in my first relationship. I really loved my first love. But she pressured me financially. Which led me to all end it.

You even made a big mistake by going out with a co worker,

There's nothing wrong with you.

If a gal is asking to much frequently, it's a red flag

But you must be prepared to give too - there's no love without giving

Wadoh:
It’s not lack of money that ends most relationships. It’s the lack of purpose, direction, and effort that often comes with being broke for too long without a plan to grow. Don’t lead with your bank account. Lead with your drive, your honesty, and your ambition.
The right woman won’t mind starting small—if she sees you’re going somewhere.

Same thing I am saying probably I was too lazy to explain.. a broke man will lack purpose, drive and all... But you can't be financially okay and not have a drive nor ambition.. these things alone makes a woman stay and even when you don't give whenever she demands, she will always assume it's for a purpose.. you on the other hand gets to give whenever you are comfortable..

IbrahimSola:
Are you trying to have a PhD in her first?

Don't mind me, it takes a sharp man to understand a woman in 3 years. Even with that, you still need to do post-Doc to really know her.

At the end of the day, u still still find out that u have a lot to learn from her.

you fit dey with women for 20 years make you no still understand her

Feminists are filled with entitlement mentality . I don't know who bewitched them . Ole jatijati . No toto no money .Period !

My guy try never to date girls out of ur league

You dating a girl who's in the salary range with you is way above ur league. Look for girls with lower standard and thank me later

You guys dey try ooo being In a relationship in the first place

Because me I can't

I just can't

Wadoh:
Yes, it’s true that some women enter relationships hoping to escape poverty, and some do treat their partner like an ATM. But to say that’s the "average Nigerian girl" is an unfair and lazy generalization.

Let’s be honest, many men also chase relationships for sex, status, or convenience—should we then call that the average Nigerian man? Nigeria is tough—but love doesn’t have to be.
Stop saying “that’s how all girls are.”
Start saying: “That’s not what I want—and I’ll wait for what I deserve.”

Not every woman wants your pocket. Some genuinely want your peace, your vision, and your presence.

Bros all women are like that. The earlier you know this the better for you. I had one from a rich home that told me she wasn't dating me because of money,cos the dad and brother are well to do. I thought,I met an angel. With time that billing and entitlement surfaced till I could not take it any more. You have to be at alert when dealing with this gender. Everything is game to them,na men they fall in love not them.

Shawarmagirl:
OP, you have issue with commitment. If you don't learn how to spend on your woman while in a relationship, you'll never spend on your wife when you get married. The prove of love is given. For God so loved the world that He GAVE (commitment).

🙄🙄 which kind judgement be this🙄

If you cannot give to a man what you give to your husband, don't ask from that man, what you supposed to ask from your husband.

Rearealki:
✓ I am really concerned about this.
My last relationship ended like my first.
Billing!
Ok, so this lady called me that we should be in a relationship. I was excited about it and we started dating. We haven't had sex we are both Christians.
This particular week she started testing me financially. First she said she is hungry, later she said her phone spoilt then she said she needs a new laptop.
What made us breakup was when she said she needed airtime. And as at then I didn't even have any available money except my savings I said I don't have
She then told me she deserves to be taken care of that she hasn't asked me directly of anything than this airtime. It shows I am stingy...and if it's happening like this this early we might have to cutoff. She said is it because we both work in same place and we earn same salary? ,she said I should take care of her
So I thought about her statements and I told her we should break up. That I am not ready.
This same scenario happened to me in my first relationship. I really loved my first love. But she pressured me financially. Which led me to all end it.

So, you go out of your way to date women looking for a savior financially and then you cry victim when it is exposed that you are not the one for them?

There nothing wrong with you

Reloadedisraelp:
🙄🙄 which kind judgement be this🙄

OP does have a problem. He dates broke girls and then complains when they ask him for money. Why?

essentialone1:
If you cannot give to a man what you give to your husband, don't ask from that man, what you supposed to ask from your husband.

This makes no sense! 🤔

Firebox123:
your own is good

Me and labake1 own dont last 2hrs

Firebox, wants to put fire into his box😂😂😂 or...his box into fire 👀😂.

May God help him!

Rearealki:
Your last sentence is correct 💯.

But I am scared and worried so I won't be heartbroken again.
Besides I haven't healed!!!

You being scared is totally fine. Just like me, but being scared can make you have trust issues and you won’t enjoy the relationship. Cos you’ll be having the feeling that she’s cheating even when there’s no evidence.

I’ve lost lots of good ladies cos of trust issue and I later found out I was the cause not them. I think trusting someone is like giving a person a gun and hoping he or she doesn’t pull the trigger.

Just calm and enjoy the relationship. Relax and if ever you’re heartbroken, just experience it and learn your lessons.

Never allow your fear run your relationship. I’m still suffering from that. No matter how my lady tries to prove she isn’t cheating, I always end up thinking otherwise. Then finding out I was totally wrong.

Allow yourself “fall” in love and if you’re opportune to meet the right one. You’ll enjoy the relationship.

My partner once gave me a scenario that accusing your lady constantly of cheating is like accusing an innocent child of stealing. One day, he might want to steal knowing your next moves and actions.

It’s better to have concrete evidence before you start thinking otherwise. If not, you’re never going to have a lasting relationship and you won’t enjoy it.

Rearealki:
I am really concerned about this.
My last relationship ended like my first.
Billing!
Ok, so this lady called me that we should be in a relationship. I was excited about it and we started dating.
We haven't had sex we are both Christians.
This particular week she started testing me financially. First she said she is hungry, later she said her phone spoilt then she said she needs a new laptop.
What made us breakup was when she said she needed airtime. And as at then I didn't even have any available money except my savings I said I don't have
She then told me she deserves to be taken care of that she hasn't asked me directly of anything than this airtime. It shows I am stingy...and if it's happening like this this early we might have to cutoff. She said is it because we both work in same place and we earn same salary? ,she said I should take care of her
So I thought about her statements and I told her we should break up. That I am not ready.
I

This same scenario happened to me in my first relationship. I really loved my first love. But she pressured me financially. Which led me to all end it.

You ve been dating hungry girls...run o

mariobalotelli09:
Women will continue to test you, manipulate you and bill you until you meet the one who is genuinely interested in you. The one intrested in you will be the one ready to see you successful and grow in all areas of your life. One in a while she may ask for something but she wouldn't pressure you and if you tell her you don't have it wouldn't be an issue. Stop chasing women and allow them chase you. If you check very well, there is a lady giving you green light just that maybe you don't fancy her.

My brother you are 100% right, all the ladies I always prefer do rejects me, except for one lady that has interest in me, she even told me openly that she prefers me to other guys in the group we both belong but I don't just like her because she is short, I just don't know the issue I have with short ladies, the second thing I observed about her that made me to just remove my eye totally is that she was not honest with her age. This same lady has relocated to Abuja yet she still calls me.

Rearealki:
I know myself I am not STINGY.
I am feel I am been manipulated be these ladies

Oga airtime. Even 500 naira airtime.haba na