₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
Preach, aunty.

FGP Ishilove

Feminist gender protector..

These ones have a whole lot of growing up to do. See them forming hard man hard man. Life will teach you that everything is not black and white. If you want to treat your woman badly or shabbily all well and good, but just as some of you noticed the imperfections of your parents' relationship, your children will notice the poor treatment you mete out on their mother and will be your karma.

This is why I am not moved when people talk about kids favouring their mum over their dads in old age. It is this kind of behaviour. They will give their mothers 80% and give you 20% to compensate her for the bullshit you put her through.

You think you're being an alpha male? You don't want to treat your woman like a queen even when she is deserving of it? No, younglings. It is yourself you are doing, not your woman. Na when night don come your eye go clear.

Alot of people will not understand what you wrote, my advice to you is that you have learnt your lesson and never make same as your old man. No amount of talk will make him change especially now that he's old. Kakas wife left him for being too nice. Being too nice is even boring as hell. Those who don't understand you now will come here to cry on nairaland later on. That's the fact.

kingthreat:
I met an old friend and all he was doing was hyping his wife. When I visited them together, he kept on adoring her in front of me like he was paid to do it. Financial crisis recently hit them, he now does Uber while his wife via other connections was able to japa alone. I don't know if he's still adoring her or maybe he has hopes that she will connect him to join her.

You don't have the whole tales and so wouldn't know.

There are so many men who genuinely have been helped by their wives contrary to what you see outside. Many good women quietly put in a lot of work to support their families and stand back to allow the man take the glory outside. A wise man who is in this position will reciprocate by using every slight opportunity to praise his wife.

Only time will tell whether your friend's fits into this narrative or whether he was acting. The wife could still assist him or may abandon him. Only time will tell. I wish they bounce back okay. Life is always complicated even for single persons.

olioxx:
I am happy that men are now voicing out against the manipulation that women have hold on men for the longest of time. Gosh I am happy seeing this and this is not only happening on social media but real life. Omoh e sweet me



Omoh peace of mind and self sufficiency is the goal ooo

Some things I have learned about women that has shaped me positively

- Women see men as work machines, the moment you stop being useful, she will just discard you. Now when she knows that discarding you will make her lose, she will help the man find a job to be useful again, many men will say the wife is loving whereas women will never do something that won't benefit them. Look at most married men doing work that they dont like simply to work for a woman and her children.
- Women dont think of men the way men think of women, like men are really last thing women think of. When a woman thinks of a man, she wants to benefit from that man. Women will choose the company of another woman or fictitious character ahead of a man, and believe me when I say that this has played out 100% of the time.
- Women wont date themselves if they were men. They are always broke and enjoy poverty and wait for a man to lift them out of poverty. The average woman is POOR and they will keep living in that POVERTY while waiting for a man/
- Women withhold sex for manipulative purposes. As I read from someone here is to control your sexual urges too. Women have mastered that art so well.
- Women need children to continue to feel HELPLESS and depend on the father of the children or society for help.

Omoh understanding women is the beginning of freedom for every man.



His usefulness expired and so she left him behind, he wasn't informed 😂



This is the foundation of FREEDOM.

It appears you haven't met elderly couples in which case the woman who is younger is fully supporting the husband based on how the husband had supported her over the years?

Life is always a matter of give and take. Nothing comes free.

Your mother is the dominant partner in the marriage with your father and it is normal. Marriage works better between one hot-headed partner and a cool-headed one. The hot-headed partner naturally drives the wheel of the relationship while the other submits. There can never be equality in a marriage. If your father was not cool-headed that marriage would have crashed since.

This is why I advise people to choose their partners properly who can compliment them. If you know that you're a dominant force, be you male or female, go for a cool-headed partner and drive the wheel of your marriage while your partner submits. You can't have two captains on a ship. These things are pretty easy to understand. In this generation and even from beginning of time, the idea of expecting a woman to always be the submissive partner is delusional! If God wanted it that way, he wouldn't create men like your father who would rather submit nor women like your mother who would rather lead. So, cut your father some slacks and understand that the marriage worked because he chose to be himself and submit to your mother instead of trying to be who he is not and eventually destroying the marriage.

pussyphilia:
Your mother is the dominant partner in the marriage with your father and it is normal. Marriage works better between one hot-headed partner and a cool-headed one. The hot-headed partner naturally drives the wheel of the relationship while the other submits. There can never be equality in a marriage. If your father was not cool-headed that marriage would have crashed since.

This is why I advise people to choose their partners properly who can compliment them. If you know that you're a dominant force, be you male or female, go for a cool-headed partner and drive the wheel of your marriage while your partner submits. You can't have two captains on a ship. These things are pretty easy to understand. In this generation and even from beginning of time, the idea of expecting a woman to always be the submissive partner is delusional! If God wanted it that way, he wouldn't create men like your father who would rather submit nor women like your mother who would rather lead. So, cut your father some slacks and understand that the marriage worked because he chose to be himself and submit to your mother instead of trying to be who he is not and eventually destroying the marriage.

Beautiful submission.

JackDaAlienz:
How can a wife insult husband in front of children. Because he is kind and gentle

Omo my mama hit jackpot
Because if na me na uppercut she go chop

I think I got my mum craziness
My sister got the kindness of my dad
And her husband too dey exploit am

Wahala for who kind for this country

Once you are kind gentle and nice
Nigerian Women will squeeze you till last drop comes out.

I don't even know how my p man survives
But I swore to never ever ever be like him

Then don’t make it a woman/ wife thing
You just said your sister act like your dad, right? And she is being exploited by her husband right?
Good
So your explanation should be ‘ don’t be too nice to people as a human so you don’t get exploited’
Don’t make it seem like all women are like your mum, na your mama get bad character and na your papa Dey mumu for the character, now your sister don get the same character and you still think all women are manipulative? The man wey Dey manipulate your sister get toto?


Tor

JackDaAlienz:
It took me many years to realize that my father is a NICE guy.

The typical romantic that spoils the wife

My dad told me that I should always listen to my mum no matter what.

That my mum is my 2nd God
And I quickly shut him down!!! Nonesense

My mum has been manipulating my dad for many years. And he keeps doing what she says.

After over 20 years
I notice that being nice to a woman is the worst thing you can ever do as a man.

My mother still complains about everything despite how many mountain my dad has to move to make her happy. She still complains

Today he had a mental breakdown and since I'm the only one that calls out my mum bullshit.
Other siblings will side my mother.
So He meet me and explained to me.

I felt so much pity for my dad.
And vowed never to make his mistake.
Never treat your wife like she Is GOLD
Never exalt your wife like she is a goddess
She will finish you recklessly..

I am very brutal with my mumsi
Amd she kinda respect me fir that
I dey call her bull crap on sight. Her manipulation no fit work for me

But na my popsi wey still dey do lover boy
Dey vex me. Mumsi just dey use am do shege.

Do not be like my father

My story is similar to yours . I don't even talk to her anymore ... she is a wicked soul

OgaSeun:
Lol... You didn't know the mind of things your papa use your mama eyes see during their younger years ...
Now he is getting the payback...
Be good with a woman from the onset...
I mean be brutally honest..
And she will be good to you..
But if you were maltreating during your younger years and now because age is no longer in your side you started forming Mr nice guy...
She go use your eyes see shege

In your eyes women don't do evil, you are really naive. So instead of accepting accountability you guys will always look for a way to say the man is at fault, he is the reason she is behaving so . You better wake up

budaatum:
It seems to me like you assume every woman is like your "mumsi", so you plan to treat women like you think your dad should have treated your mumsi.

My only hope is you marry a woman who does behave like your mumsi so your conclusion is justified. It would be very sad if you marry a goddess who is gold but treat her like she is dross and a demon, because you'd end up finishing yourself recklessly and your children will suffer.

wished and pray you don't have a bad woman or bad wife then you will relate with what the Op is saying. Not every Mother is a nice woman after all they say witches and demons dy

chidifrank:
wished and pray you don't have a bad woman or bad wife then you will relate with what the Op is saying. Not every Mother is a nice woman after all they say witches and demons dy

The op does not have a bad woman nor a bad wife yet, but is assuming however that the woman he meets in the future that will be his wife will be bad because his "momsi" was bad to his father, and he will therefore treat her his wife badly accordingly.

He has decided this before meeting his future wife, because of "momsi".

Your opinion please.

Ishilove:
These ones have a whole lot of growing up to do. See them forming hard man hard man. Life will teach you that everything is not black and white. If you want to treat your woman badly or shabbily all well and good, but just as some of you noticed the imperfections of your parents' relationship, your children will notice the poor treatment you mete out on their mother and will be your karma.

This is why I am not moved when people talk about kids favouring their mum over their dads in old age. It is this kind of behaviour. They will give their mothers 80% and give you 20% to compensate her for the bullshit you put her through.

You think you're being an alpha male? You don't want to treat your woman like a queen even when she is deserving of it? No, younglings. It is yourself you are doing, not your woman. Na when night don come your eye go clear.

Beautiful nonsense.

If you want to treat your woman spouse badly or shabbily all well and good, but just as some of you noticed the imperfections of your parents' relationship, your children will notice the poor treatment you mete out on their mother and will be your karma.

The bolded is the reason for the thread. Op has noticed the poor treatment of his mother towards his father.

All these low I.Q people just full nairaland.

OgaSeun:
Lol... You didn't know the mind of things your papa use your mama eyes see during their younger years...
Now he is getting the payback...
Be good with a woman from the onset...
I mean be brutally honest..
And she will be good to you..
But if you were maltreating during your younger years and now because age is no longer in your side you started forming Mr nice guy...
She go use your eyes see shege

Stop talking rubbish. Was he not there to see if popsi was bad to her?

budaatum:
It seems to me like you assume every woman is like your "mumsi", so you plan to treat women like you think your dad should have treated your mumsi.

My only hope is you marry a woman who does behave like your mumsi so your conclusion is justified. It would be very sad if you marry a goddess who is gold but treat her like she is dross and a demon, because you'd end up finishing yourself recklessly and your children will suffer.

EVERY woman abuses privileges they did not earn. So uku are correct to say that every woman is like the Op's mumsi

Allahismylord:
Beautiful nonsense.

If you want to treat your woman spouse badly or shabbily all well and good, but just as some of you noticed the imperfections of your parents' relationship, your children will notice the poor treatment you mete out on their mother and will be your karma.

The bolded is the reason for the thread. Op has noticed the poor treatment of his mother towards his father.

All these low I.Q people just full nairaland.

When someone can’t address the point made in a post and goes for IQ and insults, it usually means the point landed. You couldn't contribute anything meaningful but instead chose to attack me. That's the real IQ test.

That tells me all I need to know about your character and intelligence.

Dtruthspeaker:
Stop talking rubbish. Was he not there to see if popsi was bad to her?

Mumu.. He was there.. When dem born am?

OgaSeun:
Mumu.. He was there.. When dem born am?

Ozuo, you even talk say dem born am yet you no think say hin dey there.

Dtruthspeaker:
Ozuo, you even talk say dem born am yet you no think say hin dey there.

Mumu, for the next six years... The new born baby can't tell left from right... His presence is negligible...

OgaSeun:
Mumu, for the next six years... The new born baby can't tell left from right... His presence is negligible...

Ozuo.. And in the 7th year the child cannot figure out that his father has been beating his mother since he was born abi?

So as these guys told us, they did not know abi?https://www.nairaland.com/5836671/father-killing-mom-gradually#89201777

https://www.nairaland.com/452157/dad-still-beats-mum-after#6098217

Dtruthspeaker:
Ozuo.. And in the 7th year the child cannot figure out that his father has been beating his mother since he was born abi?

So as these guys told us, they did not know abi?https://www.nairaland.com/5836671/father-killing-mom-gradually#89201777

https://www.nairaland.com/452157/dad-still-beats-mum-after#6098217

And also before the child was born..
He can also figure out that his dad was a great husband

JackDaAlienz:
How can a wife insult husband in front of children. Because he is kind and gentle

Omo my mama hit jackpot
Because if na me na uppercut she go chop

I think I got my mum craziness
My sister got the kindness of my dad
And her husband too dey exploit am

Wahala for who kind for this country

Once you are kind gentle and nice
Nigerian Women will squeeze you till last drop comes out.

I don't even know how my p man survives
But I swore to never ever ever be like him

Accept it, you don't know Jack about human relationships. Human beings are soooooo diverse you can't draw inference with a few.

JackDaAlienz:
Fear is respect

We fear fire because we respect how deadly and brutal fire can be. That why we fear fire.

As for woman
They love it when you treat them bad
They view kindness as weakness

Bro, I said it earlier, your mentality is flawed. You'd do well to follow good reasoning and leave those sham thoughts of yours behind.

No—fear is not the same as respect. They can look similar on the surface, but they come from very different places and produce very different kinds of relationships.

🔹 Fear
Fear is based on threat, punishment, or insecurity.
When someone fears you, they may:
Obey you to avoid consequences
Hide their true thoughts and feelings
Feel anxious, tense, or resentful
Fear can produce compliance, but not genuine connection.

🔹 Respect
Respect is based on value, trust, and recognition of worth.
When someone respects you, they:
Listen to you willingly
Honor your boundaries and opinions
Feel safe, not threatened
Respect builds trust, openness, and healthy relationships.

🔑 Key Difference
Fear says: “I must do this, or something bad will happen.”
Respect says: “I choose to do this because I value you.”

budaatum:
And because you "have dated plenty Nigerian babes", all Nigerian babes are all like your mumsi, yet, your argument is based on all Nigerian men not being like your popsi?

Sorry, but your supposed logic is illogical, and I'd be very interested to read what you have to say when you marry a wife of your own.

My advise is, go get some uneducated woman from your village that you'd be more able to brutally handle, but make sure her family don't know you are brutally handling their daughter or they might not appreciate your brutality.

Also know that fear is not respect. You'd learn this as you grow if you don't already.

Oga just cut this crap. Who doesn't know women and their manipulative tendency?

akaahs:
Oga just cut this crap. Who doesn't know women and their manipulative tendency?

You seem to know, and I wonder who taught it to you to be honest.

Was it these guys? Thet sound like you.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms23FeJWvKU

Amumaigwe:
EVERY woman abuses privileges they did not earn. So uku are correct to say that every woman is like the Op's mumsi

What privileges are those please?

What privilege does a woman who presumably has already given you the privilege to be her husband so she can give you the privilege to be the mother of your children have to earn from you or anyone?

The below is like a supplementary question.
It is for advanced reasoners only.
Ignore if not qualified!

Do some parents not train their own daughters to earn their own privileges so they can abuses their own privileges as they want if they want to?

What a horse shit load of bull crap

placeofallure:
Bro, I said it earlier, your mentality is flawed. You'd do well to follow good reasoning and leave those sham thoughts of yours behind.

No—fear is not the same as respect. They can look similar on the surface, but they come from very different places and produce very different kinds of relationships.

🔹 Fear
Fear is based on threat, punishment, or insecurity.
When someone fears you, they may:
Obey you to avoid consequences
Hide their true thoughts and feelings
Feel anxious, tense, or resentful
Fear can produce compliance, but not genuine connection.

🔹 Respect
Respect is based on value, trust, and recognition of worth.
When someone respects you, they:
Listen to you willingly
Honor your boundaries and opinions
Feel safe, not threatened
Respect builds trust, openness, and healthy relationships.

🔑 Key Difference
Fear says: “I must do this, or something bad will happen.”
Respect says: “I choose to do this because I value you.”

JackDaAlienz:
It took me many years to realize that my father is a NICE guy.

The typical romantic that spoils the wife

My dad told me that I should always listen to my mum no matter what.

That my mum is my 2nd God
And I quickly shut him down!!! Nonesense

My mum has been manipulating my dad for many years. And he keeps doing what she says.

After over 20 years
I notice that being nice to a woman is the worst thing you can ever do as a man.

My mother still complains about everything despite how many mountain my dad has to move to make her happy. She still complains

Today he had a mental breakdown and since I'm the only one that calls out my mum bullshit.
Other siblings will side my mother.
So He meet me and explained to me.

I felt so much pity for my dad.
And vowed never to make his mistake.
Never treat your wife like she Is GOLD
Never exalt your wife like she is a goddess
She will finish you recklessly..

I am very brutal with my mumsi
Amd she kinda respect me fir that
I dey call her bull crap on sight. Her manipulation no fit work for me

But na my popsi wey still dey do lover boy
Dey vex me. Mumsi just dey use am do shege.

Do not be like my father

If you understand this proverb below, you're good to go:

Vulture pikin see him papa head, come dey ask the papa say why him head dey bald, the vulture papa say no worry son, just grow up first, you'll understand.

No

SixSeven:
"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise."

While you are not responsible for the programming you received in childhood, as an adult, you are 100% responsible for fixing it, breaking dysfunctional cycles, and managing your own healing and growth. Though upbringing shapes initial behaviors, adulthood requires taking ownership to rewrite your narrative and consciously choose your actions. Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them, sometimes they forgive them." - Oscar Wilde. Don't take this trauma to your future relationships because you will continue to repeat the cycle instead of you learning from it and making your own life work. You will be trying to avenge your site your dad when he has a different personality, different state of mind, different age of love and marriage, different economy, different generation, and so on. You will be doing the work that wasn't given to you. You won't break free because you've made judgement on what you currently see.

"What an adult sees sitting, a child climbing on the tallest tree cannot see" - African Proverb. This means that a son may lack the life experience to see the true strength or wisdom behind his father’s choices.

Shut up there. You just dey yarn Opata. You must first be in the man's shoe before you can understand how he feels. Not everything deserves this your preaching (Bull crap)

Fdot:
No

Shut up there. You just dey yarn Opata. You must first be in the man's shoe before you can understand how he feels. Not everything deserves this your preaching (Bull crap)

I smiled reading your comment. God bless you dear. You made me remember some proverbs

1. The wise create proverbs for fools to learn, not to repeat.

2. Do not correct a fool or he will hate you ; correct a wise man, and he will appreciate you." - Bruce Lee

3. A fool has no delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own opinion. Proverbs 18:2

4. DO NOT SPEAK TO A FOOL, FOR HE WILL DESPISE The WISDOM OF YOUR WORDS.
- PROVERBS 23:9

5. A fool has to say something. A wise person has something to say." - African proverb

6. "The child doesn't know his father's poverty."

Once again, God bless you for these reminders