Please don't crucify me.

I am a Christian and a faithful woman who unfortunately got married to a womaniser. I never enjoyed him once because he prefers to use his free time outside the home with either single girls or married women. I think is case is somehow spiritual (he needs serious prayers). He even resorts to violence when I accused him of cheating, I mean he has started beating me because of other women!He doesn't pay attention to me nor even touch me for weeks. To even pay a simple complement is wahala.

Now I'm bored with it all. I need a friend of the opposite sex not for sexual intimacy nor for extra marital affair but someone I can talk to, turn to for companionship, somebody I can call and he will be there when he wanders away. Somebody I can look up to. Do you understand? I'm talking about a kind of relationship that existed between Jonathan and David. Do you know why? I dint want to develop hypertention thinking about him and his escapades.

Or is there anything wrong with a married woman having a male friend especially if you married a man who is highly irresponsible and doesn't have time for you? I wouldn't have been looking for somebody like that if i had married a decent man. Most times I am lonely even when he is around his presence doesn't make much impact because he is either watching TV or playing with his phones.

nairalander guys ,where are you ?



am out of here!!!!

if interested, i`m Gbenga, resides in Lagos, mail me , gbengenelord@yahoo.com, maybe i can show d care u needed.
Hope to hear from you soonest.

You dont need a male companion even if you need a companion why not a female like you who understands what you are going through.Your relationship with any man would lead to sex.What about devorce?.

Though i understand your situation, anyway give me a reply- domwas2@yahoo.com

@ myomy

y is ur profile dat empty no contact details. well my dear if u dont make urself happy, i can assure u, nobody can; instead u wil c people dat wil add to ur problem.

My advice - try to make urself happy and update ur profile

Myomy, my advice is to look inward and analyse the situation. What exactly could be the problem. Am i doing something that my husband does not like? Could it be a habit? You are a woman and the same women he meets outside are not any better than you are. Infact you are better than the women out there. You are he's soulmate. There are so many things that could actually drive a man or woman to seek solace outside. Sex could be one of the major factors. If a married man is not sexually satisfied at home, he tends to find solace outside. Are there are habits that need to be changed? Do you have a listening ear? Do you have the patience to listen to what he'got to say? Have you ever thot why he rather prefers to seat and watch TV without you? Have you tried cooking he's favourite dish when he's in a more relaxed mood. You say he plays with he's phone. Have you tried sending text messages to him not to complain but to appreciate him. Your husband is a man. Make him feel as the head of the home. You need to try as much as possible to avoid/stop quarrels.

Marriage needs a lot of understanding. As the lady you really need to be patient and prayerful

Take care. It is well

marryAGE ain't a doooooo or dieee affair! live your life.

The Nailanders are coming one after the other,
The truth is that I would suggest you hook and look up for a female companion who would apprciate and unerstand you and the ways you are currently feeling cos if you go for A MALE COMPANION, then the reverse could be the case because we Nigeran men can be very funny alot cos 90% of us are out their to toy with with you and get what we want and peradventure dump you the way your currently husband is doing. You way not accept your cross and pray to the Almighty God to interven in his life so that he can change for good soonest,

then get one

@Myomy

I will be very sincere with you.  You are not looking for a friend to talk to.  You are looking for a way to get back at your husband.  that is while you are looking for a male. You are actually looking for someone you can develop intimacy with and then maybe have sex with.

I will advice against thatt as that carries a moral burden with it.  I have one question for you:  You must have dated your husband for a while before marrying him I guess.  Was he promiscous during your courtship?  Did you have any suspicion that you were not the only one in his life?  If you did and then went ahead to marry him, then you made your choice and you'll have to live with it.  Women who fail to understand that "the only change you can find in marriage is for the worse" always make such mistakes.

Now if he was not the promiscous type, then check yourself.  Do you nag him?  From what you have, it seems you've not been married for too long.  Did you lose your appeal?  Some women marry and then become so lousy in dressing that the husband cannot stand him.  Do you deprive him of the kind of sex you know he enjoys.  Some women are fantastic in bed before marriage but after that, they assume they hold the four aces and become so drab in bed that the unfortunate man has no option but to seek for what he is used to outside. There are lots of other things I can write about that make men look outside and none is even close to being spiritual.  Look again at the marriage before and after and take a wise decision but a male friend to talk to and get close to? NO!!!  If u dey find assistant husband, talk!!

Another angle I am even looking at is the christianity angle.  I know a woman who will not dare to be intimate with her husband in the open because she claims to be born again.  I don't know about inside oh!  This same woman might have been hot before she became born again!!!

Want a personal contact? reach me on okeycima@gmail.com

Wishing you success while you resolve your marital problems.

@myomy:

Listen to Etotee and Okeycima, Needless i say more,

It is well with you IJN.

@poster

It seems as though you want to pay him back. well if u want to cheat, cheat well so that when he kicks you out, you'll know it was worth it.

Else find a hobby,at least he has found one

Why would ask not to be crucified?

When u know nairalanders love to bite at this kind of silly story.

I beg, all ye people.

Why does it have to be that the woman did anything wrong , why oh why?

Can't the guy be the bad guy for once.

Nagging - lost your appeal my a@@.


My dear,

Search yourself, if you are certain there is nothing wrong with you, then celebrate yourself.

Look for other things that may fulfill you, but do not look for male companionship? thats a disaster waiting to happen ooooo.

Just ignore the ignoramus, appreciate who you are, keep praying and God will sort you out.

Dear Myomy,

I do realise that you are passing through a difficult time, and my heart goes out to you. But, i must tell you that the path that you are purposing to take can only lead to one conclusion, more confusion, and eventually heartache. I cant remember if you mentioned having kids or not, but i will grant you this piece of advice, call you husband and have a heart to heart talk with him, find out what the root cause of the problem is, and after that try to sort it out. If that works the better, but if it doesnt, you might consider other means, are there people he respects and looks up to? speak to them. For if you decide to get a male friend, its only a matter of time before the inevitable happens, then you would have given your husband all the ammo he needs to finish you, for our society is more tolerant of a philandering husband, than a lascivicious wife. You mentioned being a xtian, look within yourself for answers, for we as human beings always have a choice, but lack the courage to make it. I pray it will work out for you in the end. Peace!

The only advise I will give u is to call me at the middle of the night,beg him to tell u what u've done to deserve that kind treatment.Pls examine urself are a nag,unappreciative,disrespectful etc.Just flash back if u can remember the what happen on the first day he beat u.
Sister,I believe if had prayed very well and had sought the face of God He would have shown u the real picture of that man.I know that God can never give his children what is not good.U might have made mistakes when decided to go to d alter with with him.
The only advice I will give is to be persistent in prayer and fasting,i believe there is nothing God cant do.So please,dont make friend with opposite sex,if u do,ur husband may send u parking.Even same sex can also be dangerous,cos bad company corrupts good manners.Confine only in the Lord and He shall give u rest and joy.
I feel for u.

The pace at which people drop their details never ceases to amaze me ,  are there so many lonely guys out there?

@Poster

Give me that forsaken p ussy and I will make your husband forever want you - he will be green with envy as i pound the p ussy to utmost pleasure - common - why will u stay with him if he cheats and beats you? Where r the divorce courts? Why must p ussy sufer at the hands of an unresponsive man? hey - you have to wake up o - because time wats for noone - if you want my email - write me at emifebaesungangan@yahoo.com
or phone me on 08094567654.

Many good advices. . .my dear trust in God, d best any man can do is listen but God will do more dan dat. U made d wrong choice from d beginning as it seems but wat can God not do.

D arms of flesh will fail u(guaranteed). . .u don't need any man, u need ur focus on God. Any man wit u@dis stage is a distraction. . .God is all u need.

On Christ d only sure Rock u can stand. . .all other grounds(man/woman) are sinking sands.

I believe in Miracles cos I believe in God.

Carry on with ur life, career etc and keep trusting. . .In his own time, he will make all things beautiful.

James1:2-4

I have a friend who tried to find solace in a male friend, she was sharing her problem all her husband did for her and he was consoling her and while consolation lasts they were in each other's arm and behold just once and he impregnated her. She actually went to Nigeria to while away time when she met this her old male friend and now she is divorced unfurtuately the male friend is married too he can not marry her.

Think well before you will find solace in a male friend o.

oh pray hard my sista. this is unfortunately the story of many women in life.

if you can read up the story of St. Monica (Mother of St. Augustine), i think it will inspire you.

as for another man in your life under any guise, leave it be.

davidyland@yahoo.com:

@Poster

Give me that forsaken p ussy and I will make your husband forever want you - he will be green with envy as i pound the p ussy to utmost pleasure - common - why will u stay with him if he cheats and beats you? Where r the divorce courts? Why must p ussy sufer at the hands of an unresponsive man? hey - you have to wake up o - because time wats for noone - if you want my email - write me at emifebaesungangan@yahoo.com
or phone me on 08094567654.

this is not nice at all and by the way which gsm company uses 0809?
we shld be helping the lady not complicating her life.

at poster
keep praying, searxh urslf and try to find out why he is behaving that way.and finaly,do things that will make u happy.

PLEASE TRY AND SEE THIS CHALLENGE AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET CLOSER TO GOD AND GO ON YOUR KNEEL IN PRAYER, B/COS I BELIEVE THERE IS NO PROBLEM THAT IS TOO DIFFICULT FOR GOD TO HANDLE. MAKING NEW FRIEND IS NOT THE SOLUTION, IT WILL ONLY GIVE U A SHORT TIME RELIEF BUT A BIGGER REGRET ON THE LONG RUN. YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE YOUR CHOICE BY MARRYING HIM, SO DON'T LOOK FOR SOLUTION ELSE WHERE BUT RATHER YOU SHOULD CALL GOD TO YOUR MARRIAGE.
NOTE: QUITTER NEVER WIN, THERE IS NO WINNER WITHOUT A RACE AND PROBLEM WILL NOT GO AWAY IF THERE IS NO SOLUTION. SO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND ENSURE PEACE REIGN IN YOUR HOME. GOODLUCK

@Poster

My name is Biodun a guy in Lagos. I really understand what you going through, though I am not married but I have a female friend that went through the same pain but God restored the marriage after a while. It is a challenge and I know some little things I could tell you that could help. Because there r lots of things that could lead to what the guy is doing. I could be reached on pipertaller@yahoo.ca and 08023301053.

I know exactly how u feel . i am so sorry this kind of situation is happening to a woman . I am married and i know what it means to neglect a woman . women are meant to be pampered , cared for and given all the attention . As a married man, i discovered that if u make ur wife very happy there is great tendency that u urself will see joy and happiness . there in nothing like having a thought of going to a peacefull home after a days work , going to the warm embrace of ur wife . there is nothing like looking forward to ur wife's kisses , love and sweet love making .

Those condeming this woman because she is asking for friendship with a man should not really blame her cos there is great difference in companisionship with the opposite sex .  

but mind u ,the truth is if a man gets the full attension of a woman , the woman might end up cheating that is the plain truth .

paulakintade@yahoo.com

na wa oooooooooooo

Myomy: I really feel for you, but on a more serious note, no man can help you except God, you are looking for a male friend, which is not wrong, but you would have to watch out, cos i feel at this time in your life you are very vulnerable to "Temptations" from other men, am here thinking about what you wrote that you just want a man that you would talk to and share your feelings with, oh my, wake up dear, remember also you wrote that, your husband would not even touch you, so if you find another man who eventually touches you and one thing leads to another, before you know it something you never imagined in your life would happen. Looking getting a male friend, is not bad, but it wont really solve your problems, having sex with another man would compound your problems. Don't you have a Pastor in your church you can talk to? what about your brothers, relations? are they all dead? I really feel for you, cos emotional torment is worst than if he had punched you self. I really wish you the very best and please take it to God in prayer.

Martin007 .how are you?

My dear married friend why specifically a male friend? Can a female friend or your family not provide you with the joy you require?

Listen one man one problem -two men more problems.

you want to be appreciated? look in the mirror and tell your self that you are wonderfully and beautifully made.

To all those on this thread telling you to check yourself whether you nag,dress badly , please grow up!!! when a marriage is troubled you automatically blame the woman-This lady has stated that her husband is errant at best and irresponsible at worse and you advise her to keep pleading with him, I pray you all give birth to daughters and then you will realise that every human being is entitled to some consideration and happiness-of course your daughters will not make such silly decisions because you guys can pick decent husbands for them-yeah right!!!!!!!


Myomy,find God, a find decent women friend and get yourself happy!!

all these sick preachers.

olofinjeje: Am fine oh dear, i don miss you so much, lol. the next thing na make you see me for your door(Knocking) How are you and how is your family? Nice post, you posted on here.