take my advice, stick to your man and put your home rite,

hello,  
 i understand how you feel, while i was serving i had a friend who was in similar sitution, its alarming to find out how many women are in similar situation, its possible to have a platonic friend, i was very supportive to a woman in similar situation, i truely understand how you feel but know that no  man can play the role of your husband,  try to be careful in your search for a friend, there are few men who can have friendship with a lady without ideas getting to their head.  
When i was less busy it would have been easy playing the role but right now i work in one of them banks.  but we can talk over this forum.
I pray you find solace in christ

even if you do need such a friend. is this d right place to look 4 one? over half d people here wount take you serious.try work things out wit your hubby.am positive all will be well wit you.
take heart.
cheers

Dear poster,
I can imagine what you are passing through, but finding another man to keep you company or gine you companion is not the solution.
God has the solution, go to him in prayer, you can contribute to the solution too. There is power in constant communication. With every amount of humility and respect initiate a talk with him at a convinience time and sort out yourself. Find out what is really wrong. Even if he is an addent womaniser is not enough for him not to be hungry of you. Marriage is for better for worse.

myomy,

There is nothing like a male or female "friend". Rather, what such "friends" are, are people that haven't slept with each other (yet). Finding a male companion is merely a ticking time bomb for the D-day, bedmatics-wise.

If you need a companion, find it in family members (those who were part of your marriage). If you are a christian, then follow the bible and do what it says (paraphrasing) - report him to the church elders. Perhaps once it comes out publicly, he will change. Finally, again, do what the bible says (again, paraphrasing) - pray incessantly for the situation to change.

I hope this helps.

martin007:

Myomy: I really feel for you, but on a more serious note, no man can help you except God, you are looking for a male friend, which is not wrong, but you would have to watch out, because i feel at this time in your life you are very vulnerable to "Temptations" from other men, am here thinking about what you wrote that you just want a man that you would talk to and share your feelings with, oh my, wake up dear, remember also you wrote that, your husband would not even touch you, so if you find another man who eventually touches you and one thing leads to another, before you know it something you never imagined in your life would happen. Looking getting a male friend, is not bad, but it wont really solve your problems, having sex with another man would compound your problems. [s]Don't you have a Pastor in your church you can talk to? what about your brothers, relations? are they all dead?[/s] I really feel for you, because emotional torment is worst than if he had punched you self. I really wish you the very best and please take it to God in prayer.

Nairalanders, i tire for una o, you go give good advice but scatter the whole thing with plenty polite insults. 

Which one be, [s]Don't you have a Pastor in your church you can talk to? what about your brothers, relations? are they all dead?[/s]

Ehn?

I think that was rather insultive,  i am sure she would not have bothered to bring up her matter here if she could turn to her brothers/relatives/pastor alone.

lets watch it guys and not make people feel bad for bringing their personal issues here.


One love,

@davidyland@yahoo.com

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.People are trying to help this lady here and all you can contribute is rubbish.

Nairaland worry, no be small

Must it be a male friend?

Is it not better to ask for a female friend? That way the temptation to cheat will be avoided

Uche2nna:

Must it be a male friend?

Is it not better to ask for a female friend? That way the temptation to cheat will be avoided

word sister.look for a female friend simple.engage in other ativities.time to find and utilize your talents and hobbies.get closer to GOD.keep loving your hubby.goodluck dear

My name is Ade. Married with children. I really understand what you going through,i will like to have for friendship, you can get to me through my  Email add , which is  maneasy1968@yahoo.co.uk

My name is Ade. Married with children. I really understand what you going through,i will like to have you for friendship, you can get to me through my Email add , which is maneasy1968@yahoo.co.uk

There's nothing worse than a married woman whose husband pays her no mind.All his resources and energy is spent on random women outside the marriage. She just shrivels up and dies slowly.
My take is that its better to be alone than unhappy. Life is too short to be wasted on someone who doesnt respect you.

please do NOT compound the problem by being close to another man.

eventually you will engage ADULTERY

I'm a man and I'd advise you to keep away from another man. This is because yu're looking for someone to fill a 'gap'. The 'filling' will definitely end up in more problems, so please seek counselling and pray for your husband.

From experience, I've seen many ladies search for the 'ideal guy' and end up in tears- this is a warning to the unmarried ladies- your 'ideal guy' might give you hassles like this.

na wa ooooo, what do u want a male friend for, what about your husband?

Baby give him 7 days fasting and prayers, he would not even believe himself. Besides did u notice all this from the begining? Talk to THE LORD. he's not changed one bit. He built the earth in 6 days not to talk of one small problem. Two wrongs have never made a right

Thank God that you rightly said you are a xtian, that goes a long way in resolving this matter. Your husband cheats on you, right, he has no time for you, he sleeps about with strange women, right, I would not want you to get discouraged
or bored about the situation, I want to asure you there is still hope.

A song writer says;
                                Are you discouraged, and are you blue,
                                Are clouds obscuring the sun from view
                                Keep trusting Jesus though storms assail
                                He's not forgotten, He will not fail
                                     
                                              It's always darkest befor the dawn
                                              Don't be discouraged but carry on
                                              He'll not forsake you the sun will break through
                                              It's always darkest before the dawn.

                                He knows your heartache, He understands
                                Just put your problem in His great hands,
                                No trouble meets you but in His will,
                                He's not forgotten, He loves you still.

I want you to see what is going on in your home as a challenge, I don't blame you neither do i condemn you, I know
how you feel, it may be soul scourging and unpalatable for your body, one thing I want you to think of is your position in that home, then think about your children both born and unborn ones. I know the pain may be unbearable but for the sake of Christ you have to look unto God and ask for the grace to bear it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLS DON'T DO IT! If you feel that u can handle it anymore, its better for you to go get a divorce, sleeping with another man while in a marriage is very wrong, yeah u might feel better having sex, but think about the result, it won't be so pretty, don't be so desperate as to ruin ur future, PLS get a divorce, don't do it while u're still married

OP,

Your question is a little confusing. How is it that you don't already have male friends? Perhaps I'm the silly one here. For me (and most people I personally know) having friends of the opposite sex is not a big deal. We don't end up in bed with each other. Perhaps Nigerians are more oversexed than they want to believe.

If all you want is a friend, I'd suggest participating in activities that put you in contact with other people. Putting an ad out looking for male friendship will always garner you responses of a different nature.

@poster
You werent forced so u can get out of it.You re only giving excuses for wanting to commit a sin.Hey why stay in a marriage u dnt want.Keep your dignity intact and do whats right.You amaze me

@spoilt

Word!

@topic

Please give her break, she's asking for advice not condemnation.

you are looking for a Guy to shag you.period. "your husband hasnt touched you for weeks" Grin You r looking for David-Jonathan relationship? what if David and Jonathan were gay? Lips sealed then better look for a girlriend right?? Tongue

That's the KOKO!!!, Someone should kind of help her out, what more should i say when she should have gone to God than come to Nairaland to look for a male ****nd.

hey nice post there. but i think you need a serious prayer for him. i can be of help to you, cos have once had a sister with such predicament, and i know what she did. i'm married, and i'm a very good husband to my wife, but i can still help you, so call me on this number 08028490836. kingsley

lmao

think b/for you do. 4 more advise u can chat with me on my yahoo messanger id adewunmi_dny@yahoo.com or email me adewunmi.adetola@gmail.com.

mind u, a word is enough 4 a wise man.

nelsonizo:

if interested, i`m Nelson, resides in Lagos, mail me , izogothem@yahoo.co.uk or call me on 08020596361 , maybe i can show d care u needed.
Hope to hear from you soon.

are u serious?,

i think the story is cr**ap. never happened, just a cook-up sh***t from a bored house wife.

@Poster.

It's horrible that you are in a marriage by yourself and I feel for you. IT IS SO UNFAIR TO YOU!!
Please find yourself fulfilling relationships with friends (male and [/b]female) [b]IF you decide by all means that you want to remain married to him. This is so that you don't die of neglect. Don't do it to make a point rather do it for your own happiness.

Most of these nairalanders are asking you to cope, pray, etc and not even addressing the fundamental issue that you are not really in a "marriage". They are talking like marriage does not mean companionship, companionship, faithfulness, LOVE, friendship etc. They even have the galls to advice you against potential adultery!!! This is without addressing the fact that the reason you are pining a meaningful male companionship (not to be confused with sex as some think) is that he is out committing adultery in the first place!!!

In essence, a man can take a woman's life and happiness and lock them up in a dungeon without meaningful human contact all in the name of marriage while he goes out prostituting the street until one day when he comes to his senses during his old age wasted and shriveled to rescue her just in time for her to die of old age - a life wasted.

Puh-lease. My sister divorce this loser so you can live a fulfilling life or go make meaningful friendships so you don't lose you marbles worrying about the fool. That or wait for him to die of aids then you can get your freedom.

Lastly, ignore these prowling men giving you their numbers, emails etc - encourage them to expend the energy on their own wives and girlfriends. You go out about your business and meet people - go to the gym, take a dance/art class, go back to college whatever makes you happy.

A very interesting thread,
All this councellors leaving contact details.

Una go kill am o. _{i don talk my own.}

My question is this: b4 u married him didnt u know he was a womaniser. i believe u married out of forstration or u married in a hurry, now u are in a mess and ur complaning.

Its either ur hubby is tired of you. Sorry dear.

Two things you shoould do:
1. Give him time to change with the help of God and urself. Try and work on urself and see if things will change. If after a while with ur effort and he doesnt change, pls go for the second option, which leads to option 2.

2. Seek for a divorce. Since u av proof that he cheats on you, your divorce will be justifyable. Do it quick before u get too old.

All the best.