woman i beg u in d name of God,nobody man or woman can give u true PEACE,plsssss look on 2 JESUS in PRAYERS & HE WILL GIVE U THE DESIRED PEACE UR HEART NEEDS,TURN TO UR BIBLE PLS PLS & PLS, U SURE CAN CHANGE UR HUSBAND BY SHOWING HIM DIVINE LOVE,GOD WILL SURELY CHANGE UR HUSBAND B4 THE END OF THIS YEAR IN JESUS,AMEN

U are such an embarassment to women folk, Do u think u are the only married woman going thru hell? That is nothing as compared to what most of the married women go thru, Do you think this is the best platform to find solution? By now u shoud have realised that most of the pple responding to your post are Hot men. U not looking for friendship sisi. u looking for an extra marital affair. i wish u luck on that. They are going to screw u like nobodys business and by the time they are done with u, u feel so stupid and used, then u start thinking of hubby again, Plse focus, :

well gurl i dont have much 2 say here, but i think we can be friend even out sex 2 cos i know u are a married, so my name is desmond and this is my phone nu 08054118757 and my email des505@yahoo.com, so take care of ur self and send me a mail or call, cya Bleep

Are you that cheap as to post for any random guy to be your friend? Girl, where's your dignity? I ain't gon' preach and stuff like that but you should know better. If yo man ain't treating you right, divorce him first and then look for another guy. Vice versa makes you look like a ho.

Must you be married to him,just get the hell out of his life and go for who knows what it is all about.You are taking a risk,hanging with a guy like that.Secondly,you should ask your why he is running a way from you,am i repulsive or attractive or just blindly married a freak?

I am believing you married him because u loved him at some point (warts and all), as we all know unlessa guy is gay, a close relationship btw two memebers of the opposite sex who find each other attractive will eventually lead to sex, isn this what you want?
if so, you must realsie that based on such a physical foundation (not one of mutual respect) will be short lived, do u need to live thru another disappointment u can avoid?

Look to other male figures, talk to you brothers for advise, seek other females and yes PRAY, If there is phyiscal violence, then you need to really check the big picture, if you want to talk drop me a line at d328babe@yahoo.com.

@ (fake)david it's so obvious that u need help or u r seeking for unecessary attention. if u have no reasonable contribution, jst read thru and logout
u really sound like a starved youth.

I know what you are going through it is called marriage. I don't support any man who maltreat his wife, just to make her feel worthless. Don't allow what he is doing to make you feel low or affect you negatively. I know you are wonderfully and fearfully made you don't need any male friend who will confuse and capitalise on your situation to use you and deceive for you to know how worthy you are? Have one thing at the back of your mind he is the one who doesn't know what he has and he doesn't know what he is missing. Don't change don't turn bad because of any man, it is not worth it, You will find out at the end.
You have your life to live, don't make a mistake you will regret for the rest of your life. Be prayerful Devil is a liar, don't give in to his temptations.
You will have the last laugh. You will overcome. Read psalms and pray for favour in your marriage, God the one who has the key to the gate of hell and heaven will not allow your husband to be doomed. He will touch his life and change him. He is the medicine for your troubled marriage. I leave you with psalm 23. God be with you and give you victory.

@everyone,

Things will get better, just keep your heads up and know what you want.

My dear,
If someone is not in your position he/she will not understand the psychological torture you are into, i have to tell you that the greatest friend you can have is Jesus, i don't mean to preach but you need spiritual guidance on other to stay sane in this marriage.
Have you tried talking one on one with him? Have you asked him what you have done wrong, you have to listen to have he has to say, pay attention to the issues he emphasized on. Is it weight related? You lifesyle-dress sense? For example do you dress like an old woman instead of updating your wardrobe, i don't mean this in a rude manner, but some of us before marriage we dress in a way that pleases our men, immediately after marriage we relax and don't bother to comb our hair or to look and smell we feel like madams, What attracted you to him the first place? Was he a man that you feel you could change after marriage? I mean was there something you saw as a bad sign but neglected just to tell yourself that you can handle it and you find out it is not what you can handle? What you man is doing is called comitting adultery which the bible says that is a reason for divorce. Even if he comes back to his senses by being a good husband can you change what you don't like about him at this moment?
What of if one of the girls he is carrying around is infected or becomes pregnant for him, what kind of father will you tell your children they have?
Do you pray together? A re you of the same faith? I s there no better way to resolve this than to find yourself a man in other to make him jealous? Don't you think that two wrongs can never make a right? Don't you think it is better to divorce him and re-marry than to lose your honour and conscience? Where is God and his fear in what you are about to do? Believe it or not if you get a man apart from your husband and cry to him every time he will convince you to leave your husband and whether you want to accept it or not you don't know what he is thinking you may not want sex and one day, it will happen because of the closeness,and because he is not your blood relation, and you may just want to show your husband that the two of you can play the game.
I will say this to you as if you were my sister and friend. Don't do it, it is better for you to pray to the creator who gives breathe into his lungs, to touch his heart. To be closer to God and be prayerful if you want to win him back there is nothing God can not do. No marriage is all rosy, some people can not tell you what they are going through because it is very shameful what they are enduring. AND IF YOU TELL THEM TO HAVE ANOTHER BOY/MAN FRIEND THEY WILL SAY NO. I will implore you to put all your burden to Jesus. Let your light shine for your husband to see. Be courteous, be polite when he is talking, MAKE THE HOME A HOME NOT A HOUSE Don't nag him, Be a woman of peace and pray to God for the holy spirit to lead you aright.
You know what he likes and hates-treat him like a king in the presence of people. Don't shout at him in public. Respect and love him, be submissive. If you can't any longer and you feel you must have another man. Leave him, Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured.
What he did or is still doing is very wrong and what is bad is bad, But there is solution that won't warrant your having a man, or if you decided and went ahead to have a man. How are you different than him, you may even turn out to be worse and you find out the man will prefer to have you thrown out and have one of his women in than you. So act intelligently and communicate with him. Don't keep quiet let him know he is hurting you and you want him to stop. Afterall he is your husband, tell him if he doesn't want you anymore let him divorce you. And take it with your head up than leaving when you are not better than he is by having an affair. As a married woman this is not acceptable by God. He is condermed already, he needs to retrace his steps very fast. Remember the commandment of God Period. God is watching.

well madam abeg no tell wahala feed wahala because then u go make am grow big that na big trouble u want to cost for ur self ooo wetin de there be se make u try to sit urself down and think wetin be the problem when de make ur man de go outside maybe u de give am problem try to see the things when u de lack to give am, try to make a good research on ur man try to know the things when de make am happy and try to do those things if na sex de make am go outside try to make am satisfy with sex, abi u no fine? if na that one be the problem try to make urself up before he go come back from work every day then he go just de as if una just start just like the beauty he see in u when u started life together thanks but no think of to go outside too like ur man ooooooooooo u can reach me on 08027645390 or rattyboy4real212@yahho.com or @gmail.com thankx

you seem to appear online can we chat?

Its rather unfortunate that your husband doesn't know how good it is to have a good home. But the only Male friend that i can introduce to you is someone you probably know i.e JESUS CHRIST he alone will give you all what you want; comfort, help, good companionship, just to mention a few. My sincere advise is for you to desist from any companionship of whatever sort, coz you may be treading on dangerous grounds. He is your husband, try to find better soln to your problems like praying for him. REMEMBER! GOD'S ORIGINAL PLAN FOR MARRIAGE IS NOT DIVORCE. For further info. You can reach me via my email address, YINKWAMO @ YAHOO.COM.

Mam,

I will be very sincere with you. You are not looking for a friend to talk to. You are looking for a way to get back at your husband. that is while you are looking for a male. You are actually looking for someone you can develop intimacy with and then maybe have sex with.

I will advice against thatt as that carries a moral burden with it. I have one question for you: You must have dated your husband for a while before marrying him I guess. Was he promiscous during your courtship? Did you have any suspicion that you were not the only one in his life? If you did and then went ahead to marry him, then you made your choice and you'll have to live with it. Women who fail to understand that "the only change you can find in marriage is for the worse" always make such mistakes.

Now if he was not the promiscous type, then check yourself. Do you nag him? From what you have, it seems you've not been married for too long. Did you lose your appeal? Some women marry and then become so lousy in dressing that the husband cannot stand him. Do you deprive him of the kind of sex you know he enjoys. Some women are fantastic in bed before marriage but after that, they assume they hold the four aces and become so drab in bed that the unfortunate man has no option but to seek for what he is used to outside. There are lots of other things I can write about that make men look outside and none is even close to being spiritual. Look again at the marriage before and after and take a wise decision but a male friend to talk to and get close to? NO!!! If u dey find assistant husband, talk!!

Another angle I am even looking at is the christianity angle. I know a woman who will not dare to be intimate with her husband in the open because she claims to be born again. I don't know about inside oh! This same woman might have been hot before she became born again!!!


But finally, it you who knows what you want, cos if want a man, there are man devils out there. don't forget
The devil you know is better than the Angel you don't.

If after this you still feel the same or more confused you can reach me on this mail address: Leslieverwey@yahoo.com
Leslieverwey@hotmail.com

@Xgate you've aired my sentiments exactly!

@poster

Why a male friend.  Are you on a mission to make your husband
jealous and stop his wayward ways.  I can tell you right here and
now that it will not work, it will only worsen an already bad situation.

It seems to me that you a in denial of your real intentions in looking for
a male friend, you convince yourself that it is just so that you can talk, but
what will happen when your husband has not touched you for weeks like
you said and you are alone with your male 'friend'.  mmmh I really wonder 

you are not in this situation and you cant understand what im talking about here especially if you are not married and not a female. I think that you should understand that everything is not about sex for heaven sake! harlots are having it 24/7 that does not make them happy and fulfiled. The only platform you can have it and not feel guilty is marriage.
@Monicamony thanks I wish i had your mail addresse would have loved to talk to you.
@ everybody thanks too.

First of all, no one has any right to crucify you ok, disregard all who have done such and endeavour to reason rationally. Your first statement was your identifying yourself to being an adherent of the teachings of Christ. Yeah, what do you think might have been his advice under such circumstances that you've found yourself? I doubt that even if he would be reccommending someone to confide in, he wouldn't be reccommending a replication of the David and Jonathan kind of relationship as first of all no member of that legendary friendship was a married woman looking for companionship outside the matrimonial home (na stone them for stone such to death).

The first thing you need to do is to bring a respected spiritual figure into the picture dear. A respected elder in church that's well respected by your spouse, and/or your pastor (if he's not one of the worldly ones) should also be brought into the picture. Fine, them no suppose bring third party into marital crisis, but believe me, this is exactly what those figures are there for.

I do not intend this to be a long speech, but you're an adult and just didn't walk into your matrimony, the both of you must have had a life that ultimately led to your decision to live the rest of your lives together, so it is my opinion that that life got lost somewhere sotaaay him don begin dey beat you. Something must've gone wrong somewhere. It is now your responsibility to reason out the particular point in your marriage where that incident occured and retrace your steps and make adjustments and modifications to accomodate the bliss that you dreamt of on your wedding day. This does not mean that you are to blame, but two people no fit dey craze at the same time, since hubby no dey conscious of the significance of his actions, you take the bull by the horn and do the right thing, many over the long hindsight of history has proven that one could actually stoop to conquer. You dey take him shit now, one day soon, na those bad people go dey eat una shit (you and your husband own combined)

Nothing pass daddy Jehovah and him alone can rearrange your matrimonial home, but you gots to give him something to work with, but darling, looking for some guy that would provide a shoulder for your tears definitely ain't helpful tools. In time he could be offering something other than a shoulder, and with your emotional state of mind, I am afraid that that innocent handshake might exceed the elbow (if y'all know what I mean) . Now I do not think that's exactly what you had in mind while making this post.

Na trial you dey so, but know this girl, pressure makes diamonds much harder than stone. Take this as the pressure thats going to transform your stony relationship with hubby into one that's worth more than diamonds. And whatever you do, just try and be the real you and try not to be influenced negatively by what you're going through okay?

^{Ajadrage say no discourage, hold your courage, e go better. . .}

Your'e gonna end either with AIDS or mental problem get away from that dirt. Bible this bible that do you want an early grave? if you do reconcile make sure he gets tested.

like my mum always says there is no such thing like ordinary friends between opposite sexes that are matured. even from ur poster it shows that though u aint admitting it the intention is there otherwise why dint u ask for a female companion. i'm not trying to insult u but to let u get ur thoughts right.there is no excuse for a woman that has xtra marital affair even if the man is a chronic womaniser. the society will still put the shame on u and will it be right with ur conscience? u married him for better for worse. now the worse is here so face it and know that that is ur cross to carry. there is no justification for adultery.
my advuse, get a woman friend to unburden ur mind to and spend free time with her but dont allow he or them to push u into doing the ungodly.

it is well sister,

but try and search urself maybe u are the problem.and be honest with urself,don't make excuses but if u are not no man can help u.

take it to GOD in prayer.get closer to ur creator only he knows the whys and whens.he will surely see u thru.
if u get to close to a guy thinking he will be a shoulder for u to cry on,believe me in no time it will lead to a sexual relationship.and it will to ur total loss.
but i can be sending u some inspirational mesages from some christian sites.

my email add is akin4ever@hotmail.com.
the lord is ur strenght.

thou preachers!!!

providing scriptures and omitting the fact that she needs a listening ear- that's all the crime she's committed on this site! lord have mercy! can someone be,least, human.she only needs a true friend.just someone to talk about how the day's going, amongst all u supernatural nairalanders there's got to be a trusted one here to leave my sexy wife, at least luscious galfriend with lol.na she get money for credit,abi?
you keep preaching to a hungry man without offering food. you all should not disregard the fact that we are humans and be humane with your comments.you are possibly causing her mo confusion than she'd filed for.she aint talking divorce, but psycologically she needs a cheerful friend! one to chatter away some tears and not lecturers in theology.one nigerian can at least be that friendly and sweet to answer a call from a friend. a genuine friend that understands without seeing her nor wanting to see her physically.who says this much is impossible?then u need to be taught lessons of being human! at least of you reminding her AIDS,unwanted pregnancy etc.some nigerians are truly responsible and worthwhile. look at her as a friend in real serious probs,needs to talk and help.
nobody knows the gravity of a problem until you are served one.a close family's got same problem and i'm wondering what's wrong in her looking for an anonymous caller-friend to gist lightly with.i'm very sure she's forgetting the hubby already laughing her jaws apart reading some of the these responses cos they sure did make me laugh out loud even in the office.if she was offering money for this company without the 'shag' thing attached y'all aint gonn' be preaching here: would you? if you'd be the first to refuse the price tag for a simple company holla.

suger lips your very right, can u drop your number pls on calacootazone@yahoo.co.uk

The advise of ETOTEE is worthy of note and should be considered.

However, I would like to meet you or further discussions in person. Please feed me your
contact phone. or write me on my E-mail: ben4njoku@yahoo.com

Thanks

Please settle this matter on yourrrrrrrrrr kneel.

Heaven will fight for you. amen.

Please commit ur husband to the hand of thy lord instead of indulging in sin

hi myomy,
its takes one with d heart of a lion to do what u have done.u have spoken ur mind and GOD has heard u.All u need is someone who would be sincere to u ,who would tell u d truth,there are afew nairalanders who have something up stairs "u know what i mean" talk to them heres my contact omounuigbe@yahoo.com.

You be Ahawooo .
Why a male friend?
You better don't let him know you're searching for a male friend, otherwise he will thrown you out like a rotten egg .

myomy, I feel very deeply for u, though it's my guess that u must have noticed this trend in this guy before u married him; i mean bad manners don't develop overnight but i will still tell u that with God all things are possible; really u don't need any male friend in that sense, it will soon become a full blown affair with time. You need God. i will include u in my prayer list. It is well.

Please try not to take the nasty response of some people in this forum to heart.
It's only a product of our individual differences.

What I just want to know from you is hw/if all the numerous advice posted has
helped you in anyway.
If they've not, i'd advice u discontinue reading anymore post on this subject and
begin to look inwards for solution.

One thing, NEVER allow anyone blame u or make u feel bad or responsible for ur
husband's negative behaviour.

Everyone is responsible for his or her own actions

hi myomy,

u ve well spoken.i can feel ur pain, d agony u r gonig through, i think u should contact me on teealpha@aol.com lets rub mind.

I WILL BE PEASED TO LET U KNOW THAT YOUR PROBLEMS

AND TIME OF WORRIES ARE OVER.

TELL A LITTLE ABOUT YR SELF.

I MEAN I WILL LIKE TO HAVE SOME FACTS ABOUT YOU.

YOUR LOCATION.

YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES.

EVERY THING ABOUT.

SO WE CAN START OFF FROM SOME WHERE.

YOU CAN SEND THE DETAIL OF U TO ibecollins1@yahoo.com

I WILL BE XPECTING YR REPLY.

DO TAKIA