Oahray: unmarried persons? It's rare jor. Stop making up 'facts'. It's an unwritten rule in Nigeria that it's a guy who has to spend for his girl.

How many times have you heard people call a girl maga?

Please ask questions from your ridiculously handsome, fiancially-disadvantaged male friends to gist you. Lots of gigolos around too.

willorie:

get a grip dude & stop being a wet blanket!

park well

tatiana009:

Abeg that's not an excuse, I'm sure those women will be willing to wen foot the DNA bill of it means the man will step up to the plate once it's confirmed that it's his child. It's obvious you're auguring just for the sake of arguing.

Seems like u re new on nl...that's the clown of nl...correct Agbaya! be dat

Lucasbalo: Not really, what the OP is implying occurs in the western world too. Fathers irresponsibility has no boundary. It's a world wide occurrence . Kudos to Dads And Moms worldwide taking care of business .

At the bold - that's what's up!

Sorry, I missed your post. I just came here to crash the party because these women cry too much, and the victim mentality is becoming nauseating now, with the power the society keeps giving them.

For every deadbeat dad, there's a scandalous trifling woman, and that's how the critique should be. Men are the victim these days, and we need to stand up and start speaking up before these people destroy more lives. They've destroyed a lot of lives, trust me.

I can post personal stories and true life experiences from around the way on here.

Shout out to upstanding women, though.

Sophyrocks:

Please ask questions from your ridiculously handsome, fiancially-disadvantaged male friends to gist you. Lots of gigolos around too.

how many gigolos do you know of? Don't try to recreate reality. For every one such guy you know, I know 20 girls who stick to married men like leaches. The average Nigerian lady sees men as meal tickets. Many guys have to be able to spend at all, to stand a chance with ladies.

Proudly fatherless!!! That's what I can say

coogar:
start speaking out & be labelled a sissy by the same women asking you to speak out. have you seen the video of feminists disrupting the meeting held for abused husbands? feminists didn't want men that have been hurt to discuss their bitter experience & get help.

i am a man - i cannot moan.
my emotions have been beaten out of me since i was a child. i took my corporal punishments in school like a boss. no amount of cane strokes can make me cry. it's innate - a man just has to be a man regardless of what bitter feminists might throw our way.

I get where you're coming from. However, everything favours them now, yet they still play the victim mentality all the time, while destroying a lot of people's lives.

Sophyrocks:
Any man sooo concerned about the paternity of his kids would not mind taking the pains to cough out the money to carry out a DNA test.

Nice Try.

Even when he can't afford it, no?

You sure love rocking-a-fella, dontcha Sophy?

What happened to being virtuous women? Perhaps if more women become virtuous, deadbeat dads would reduce drastically.

Anyway, I'll start posting stories of men who became deadbeats due to their promiscuous wives as my retort. True life stories.

SirShymex:

Even when he can't afford it, no?

You sure love rocking-a-fella, dontcha Sophy?

What happened to being virtuous women? Perhaps if more women become virtuous, deadbeat dads would reduce drastically.

Anyway, I'll start posting stories of men who became deadbeats due to their promiscuous wives as my retort. True life stories.

You see what im talking about? The virtuous woman chorus. what happened to being a responsible man huh? why is it such a difficult feat?

As for your stories you wanna create, its a free world.

Oahray: how many gigolos do you know of? Don't try to recreate reality. For every one such guy you know, I know 20 girls who stick to married men like leaches. The average Nigerian lady sees men as meal tickets. Many guys have to be able to spend at all, to stand a chance with ladies.

Recreate which reality? its already happening so need to argue with me biko. if you like deny from january till december. No time to argue with you abeg.

Sophyrocks:
You see what im talking about? The virtuous woman chorus. what happened to being a responsible man huh? why is it such a difficult feat?

As for your stories you wanna create, its a free world.

From your response: it shows you have accepted it goes both ways, no? So, why not make all your previous arguments in that context? Like, "being an irresponsible man is appalling and they need to be chastised for being a disgrace. However, women also need to stop being promiscuous and become upstanding members of the society." If you had done that, that would've been alright with me.

And I'm not about to make up stories, that's not my style. I'm a young body with an old soul, and I've been everywhere like the hood mopeds. I've got a lot of stories to tell.

hensben: sisy, that's my vow to God that I can never be like him in anyway, my father's experience have thought me a big lesson and my mother is very discipline and she told me many things should incase when I get married, my mother never tell me anything bad about my father but I have eyes, I saw how everything happened, the man is irresponsible,she always tell me to be responsible to my kids and wife.
The things you typed occur when the woman chose to follow the man's way and be irresponsible too like the man, Were by, their kids turn something else.

hensben:
why cant most ladies turn off the offer from the man when they know he is married with kids , everything still boils down to the most ladies who are gold digger, they cant start life with their own man cos of quick money to buy all stuffs and later look down on their peer group when she know she is 'aristo'.before you know, belle go enter.

Smh.

Sophyrocks:

Recreate which reality? its already happening so need to argue with me biko. if you like deny from january till december. No time to argue with you abeg.

yeah, keep dishing out 'facts' from your make-up kit.

SirShymex:

From your response: it shows you have accepted it goes both ways, no? So, why not make all your previous arguments in that context? Like, "being an irresponsible man is appalling and they need to be chastised for being a disgrace. However, women also need to stop being promiscuous and become upstanding members of the society." If you had done that, that would've been alright with me.

And I'm not about to make up stories, that's not my style. I'm a young body with an old soul, and I've been everywhere like the hood mopeds. I've got a lot of stories to tell.

Yes promiscuity is in both sexes. But being IRESPONSIBLE is a personal decision. Nobody will force/coerce you to be irresponsible if you didnt tow that line on your own. I dnt need to remind you that this thread is for irresponsible fathers. Yes girls should stop being promiscuous but the men themselves should chasing these girls to fuel their promiscuity. Simple!!! Let every man be responsible for their choices or way of life. There should be no one to blame but yourself if you are irresponsible. We are not kids/brainless dummies. we all have brains we use to calculate before taking/executing actions. If you are being irresponsible, it is entirely YOUR FAULT!!

Oahray: yeah, keep dishing out 'facts' from your make-up kit.

Make-up kit o, surgery kit o, mechanic kit ooo, na you sabi. No time for you. Our discussion will lead to nowhere.

Bye bye.

Sophyrocks:

Make-up kit o, surgery kit o, mechanic kit ooo, na you sabi. No time for you. Our discussion will lead to nowhere.

Bye bye.

I'm not all that keen on a discussion with you either. I just don't like it when people make up stuff just to win an argument, and I won't keep quiet about it. It's high time you ladies stopped making up extra tales about guys. There's enough on our plates already.

Bye bye... Till your next 'fact'.

Sophyrocks:

Yes promiscuity is in both sexes. But being IRESPONSIBLE is a personal decision. Nobody will force/coerce you to be irresponsible if you didnt tow that line on your own. I dnt need to remind you that this thread is for irresponsible fathers. Yes girls should stop being promiscuous but the men themselves should chasing these girls to fuel their promiscuity. Simple!!! Let every man be responsible for their choices or way of life. There should be no one to blame but yourself if you are irresponsible. We are not kids/brainless dummies. we all have brains we use to calculate before taking/executing actions. If you are being irresponsible, it is entirely YOUR FAULT!!

Yes, I get your point. However, you need to understand that some men are naturally irresponsible, while some men are coerced into being "irresponsible" by their scandalous partners. Hence we also need to discuss the "cause" when talking about the "effect" - and that's where the trifling women are liable. So we need to talk about them as well.

Also, while promiscuous men deserve to share part of the blame for their promiscuity, women who engage in the act with them also need to be chastised. It takes two to tango. And since the world we live in today is about equality - we have to discuss the role(s) both parties play in everything. It can't just be a men-bashing thing, yet you lot keep spouting feminism everywhere.

Regardless, I'm not trying to trifle a trifle - I'm just showing you that it's a two-way traffic. And why you need to keep your argument in that context.

Anyway, I can never be a deadbeat. I vet every woman I get into proper relationships with, and my own consciousness about fatherhood and family is about building a nation. However, I need to speak out for disadvantaged men who're victims of women. You get me, Sophy Roc-a-Fella?

Georgematics: I am a perfect example of d offspring of an irresponsible Dad, though he didn't run away wit a mistress but he gave up his total life to liquor and spends his last dime on beer. now the end result is me working 7-5 while my mates are in school and the salary keeps getting drown in family problems while my 3 kid sisters are easy preys because in life we all need something's to keep life balance and only with money can we afford them. May God grant Mum d strength to carry on. and pls my fellow men, don't just take advantage of the girls you see on the streets because it not their fault but dat of a dysfunctional families. God help us all.

pls encourage ur kid sisters to learn a trade or skill, no matter hw a man gives a girl money it won't satisfy her as the money she earns her self, they can also form a squad with mumcy nd pull tru for the family. Above all trust God for a better day.

SirShymex:

Yes, I get your point. However, you need to understand that some men are naturally irresponsible, while some men are coerced into being "irresponsible" by their scandalous partners. Hence we also need to discuss the "cause" when talking about the "effect" - and that's where the trifling women are liable. So we need to talk about them as well.

Also, while promiscuous men deserve to share part of the blame for their promiscuity, women who engage in the act with them also need to be chastised. It takes two to tango. And since the world we live in today is about equality - we have to discuss the role(s) both parties play in everything. It can't just be a men-bashing thing, yet you lot keep spouting feminism everywhere.

Regardless, I'm not trying to trifle a trifle - I'm just showing you that it's a two-way traffic. And why you need to keep your argument in that context.

Anyway, I can never be a deadbeat. I vet every woman I get into proper relationships with, and my own consciousness about fatherhood and family is about building a nation. However, I need to speak out for disadvantaged men who're victims of women. You get me, Sophy Roc-a-Fella?

The mere fact that the society is in full support of the promiscuity amongst men and for the fact that men brag about it with the 'its a man's world' and 'men are free to cheat' mantra, they are enough reasons to push majority of the blames on the men. Infact there needs to be a total makeover of the way the nigerian society reasons. I dnt expect you to understand this because you dnt know the situation in Naija. Promiscuity in men encourages promiscuity in women. Men cheat with women, women cheat with men. I have pointed this out in my earlier comment so lets agree to disagree here. My opinion still stands. As long as the promiscuity in men is encouraged, that of women will also increase and therefore will not stop. if you wanna solve a problem, start from the root cause. It would have being a total diffferent issue if the society does not encourage promiscuity at all in both sexes.

dasparrow:

How do you know this? Have you considered husbands who married their wives when they were not rich but as soon as they became wealthy, they began to carry girls up and down the place, spending money on mistresses while neglecting the needs of his wife and children. How is this the wife's fault? What of husbands who start off being good but then change the minute their wife starts birthing only female children? What of husbands who are serial cheats regardless of how good their wives are and abandon their responsibilities to their wives only? What of husbands who allowed their mothers wreck havoc in their marriages and they stopped providing for their children? Let's face it, Nigeria is filled with irresponsible fathers and that is why our society is getting messier and messier by the day.

Its 1 thing to make a Family..its another thing to Build a family..Am nt argueing with you that Father's are so perfect..Am jst trying to let you know that at some point their hands are been forced by the ingrates,Overbearing and domineering beings they have as wives..what do you expect of a man that comes home to have peace and ends up wit headaches setling issues d woman might have gathered during the day..And tomorow he decides dat afta work he'ld hav to chill in a bar wit frnds @least b4 he gets home everyone is asleep all to avoid problms..2moro someone would walk up to him and call him "Iresponsible"..regardless of wat he's been faced with..Please as much as u blame we men d women are not to be exempted..We all Hav our Various roles to play

Sophyrocks:

The mere fact that the society is in full support of the promiscuity amongst men and for the fact that men brag about it with the 'its a man's world' and 'men are free to cheat' mantra, they are enough reasons to push majority of the blames on the men. Infact there needs to be a total makeover of the way the nigerian society reasons. I dnt expect you to understand this because you dnt know the situation in Naija. Promiscuity in men encourages promiscuity in women. Men cheat with women, women cheat with men. I have pointed this out in my earlier comment so lets agree to disagree here. My opinion still stands. As long as the promiscuity in men is encouraged, that of women will also increase and therefore will not stop. if you wanna solve a problem, start from the root cause. It would have being a total diffferent issue if the society does not encourage promiscuity at all in both sexes.

Well, I honestly don't think that's a Nigerian thing. It's more of a universal thing, and the only reason why the society is alright with it has more to do with anatomy of the sex organs(I don't need to explain this, do I?). However, that also comes with a curse, just like every gift - given that men have to do the chasing(societal standard here again) and not the other way round.

Also, the biggest lie ever told is the "it's a man's world" tosh, since women made all the rules. Men just outsmarted women with the exponential finite difference in mentality, temperament, and thought process. However, that doesn't negate the fact that women make up for that in other aspects, in which, men are deficient. That's where the checks and balances come into play. For example: the society allows men to chase, but women have the power to control. Evidently, if women aren't opening their legs to all and sundry, men won't be able to cheat. So when are women folks going to start closing their legs?

The solution to the problem is with women. They're the root cause and the solution. Once they start understanding the power they have, they'll stop crying everywhere and start acting.

GboyegaD:

Oga, what you post said nothing about polygamy thus, your conclusion in your earlier post cannot hold. The western countries do not even practice polygamy thus, if there is a research to conclude from, it must be on country where they practice polygamy of a free will.

Monogamy is a problem in the western countries, that's why I gave a link of whites men cheating because they are stuck in monogamy setting of marriage.

if I give you the link of countries that practises polygamy you will say "the study is false because it is a country that support polygamy"

like the study said many couples in monogamy marriage are not faithful and honest, a married man will have mistresses outside cheating and he will come home like nothing happened(adultery), this is a different case of a man introducing a second wife and wants the wife approval to marry a second wife..

SirShymex:

Well, I honestly don't think that's a Nigerian thing. It's more of a universal thing, and the only reason why the society is alright with it has more to do with anatomy of the sex organs(I don't need to explain this, do I?). However, that also comes with a curse, just like every gift - given that men have to do the chasing(societal standard here again) and not the other way round.

Also, the biggest lie ever told is the "it's a man's world" tosh, since women made all the rules. Men just outsmarted women with the exponential finite difference in mentality, temperament, and thought process. However, that doesn't negate the fact that women make up for that in other aspects, in which, men are deficient. That's where the checks and balances come into play. For example: the society allows men to chase, but women have the power to control. Evidently, if women aren't opening their legs to all and sundry, men won't be able to cheat. So when are women folks going to start closing their legs?

The solution to the problem is with women. They're the root cause and the solution. Once they start understanding the power they have, they'll stop crying everywhere and start acting.

Now you have proven me right all along. SMH. All my comments have now been proven right!! With that mentality on the bolded, irresponsible fathers will increase in abundance.

As for women ruling the world, try opening a thread With 'Its a woman's world' and wait for the kind of comments that will come from men on nairaland, the women bashers of the universe.

Abeg lets agree to disagree oooooo.

bigheart2013: So on point. The trend is worrisome dear. But everyone has a hand in the mess not just irresponsible fathers.

- irresponsible girls who dated married men and caused grief to wives but they eventually marry and expect to have happy marriages forgetting there is karma. - Chai, there's God o!

- irresponsible woman who marry men because of money and not love, then the marriage becomes a theater of war because of lack of love - Chai there's God o!

- Irresponsible girls who abandon men who labored and trained them for years and married a man from oversea just to travel out - chai, there's God o!

- Irresponsible in-laws who help scatter their children's marriage because of greed - chai, there's God o!


- Some irresponsible wives who divorce their struggling husbands abroad in order get child support and wire money to Nigeria to build houses - chai, there's God o!

- and that irresponsible he-goat, man who dates his secretary, students, neighbor's daughters and keep mistresses everywhere- chai, there's God oo!

- that irresponsible pastor who sees fake visions for single girls telling them they have 'spiritual husbands' but yet sleeps with girls in his church - chai, there's is God o. No, in fact there's ifa, orunmila, sango, shopona, ela, amadioha,

Mr. there's God -- i fee u die.

Sophyrocks:
Now you have proven me right all along. SMH. All my comments have now been proven right!! With that mentality on the bolded, irresponsible fathers will increase in abundance.

As for women ruling the world, try opening a thread With 'Its a woman's world' and wait for the kind of comments that will come from men on nairaland, the women bashers of the universe.

Abeg lets agree to disagree oooooo.

The summary of the excerpt you highlighted = women need to start taking the initiative. How does taking the initiative translate into an increment of deadbeat dads? Sophy, take a deep breath - you're obviously being emotional right now. You see in life, to win, you always have to take the initiative. Playing the blame game only shows your weakness, hence men keep taking advantage of that.

Trust me, it's a woman's world. Without women, the planet will be messed up. Once women understand that, there won't be any need to keep fighting upstanding men everywhere, while destroying lives, to achieve what they're still going to whine and throw hissy-fits about. They'll start taking the initiative.

SirShymex:

The summary of the excerpt you highlighted = women need to start taking the initiative. How does taking the initiative translate into an increment of deadbeat dads? Sophy, take a deep breath - you're obviously being emotional right now. You see in life, to win, you always have to take the initiative. Playing the blame game only shows your weakness, hence men keep taking advantage of that.

Trust me, it's a woman's world. Without women, the planet will be messed up. Once women understand that, there won't be any need to keep fighting upstanding men everywhere, while destroying lives, to achieve what they're still going to whine and throw hissy-fits about. They'll start taking the initiative.

Thank you for proving all my comments in this thread as right.You have saved me from going to type long epistles. Good night.

Sophyrocks:

Thank you for proving all my comments in this thread as right.You have saved me from going to type long epistles. Good night.

I didn't prove anything right.

Also, the funniest thing is that: all these so-called "irresponsible men" in certain homes, are "responsible" somewhere else - and where they're "responsible" there's a next woman enjoying that. So, why blame only the man when he might have a problem with a certain woman, for reasons known to them - he's in another woman's house doing the right thing? Why should the man be the sacrificial lamb? What about the women involved?

I was gonna respond to the original post but this comment right here says almost everything I wanna say. U can't just blame men only, both men and women are mostly responsible for their poor decisions and the children suffer for it.

I don't really like the direction of the original post, its so easy to blame men on everything but women cause most of the problem sometimes by their poor decisions of love for money and selfish interest. And after all that, they still want to claim victim and label the man the devil.

bigheart2013: So on point. The trend is worrisome dear. But everyone has a hand in the mess not just irresponsible fathers.

- irresponsible girls who dated married men and caused grief to wives but they eventually marry and expect to have happy marriages forgetting there is karma. - Chai, there's God o!

- irresponsible woman who marry men because of money and not love, then the marriage becomes a theater of war because of lack of love - Chai there's God o!

- Irresponsible girls who abandon men who labored and trained them for years and married a man from oversea just to travel out - chai, there's God o!

- Irresponsible in-laws who help scatter their children's marriage because of greed - chai, there's God o!


- Some irresponsible wives who divorce their struggling husbands abroad in order get child support and wire money to Nigeria to build houses - chai, there's God o!

- and that irresponsible he-goat, man who dates his secretary, students, neighbor's daughters and keep mistresses everywhere- chai, there's God oo!

- that irresponsible pastor who sees fake visions for single girls telling them they have 'spiritual husbands' but yet sleeps with girls in his church - chai, there's is God o. No, in fact there's ifa, orunmila, sango, shopona, ela, amadioha,

SirShymex:

The summary of the excerpt you highlighted = women need to start taking the initiative. How does taking the initiative translate into an increment of deadbeat dads? Sophy, take a deep breath - you're obviously being emotional right now. You see in life, to win, you always have to take the initiative. Playing the blame game only shows your weakness, hence men keep taking advantage of that.

Trust me, it's a woman's world. Without women, the planet will be messed up. Once women understand that, there won't be any need to keep fighting upstanding men everywhere, while destroying lives, to achieve what they're still going to whine and throw hissy-fits about. They'll start taking the initiative.

Basically, you're saying it's women that prevent a man from taking care of his kids? Who's playing the blame game here if not you.

DiademSh07:
Basically, you're saying it's women that prevent a man from taking care of his kids? Who's playing the blame game here if not you.

Saying it goes both ways.

More time the women are just culpable as the men, and folks need to start talking about that as well.

Anyway, I'm out.

Bed time!

SirShymex:

Saying it goes both ways.

More time the women are just culpable as the men, and folks need to start talking about that as well.

Anyway, I'm out.

Bed time!

Need I remind you this thread is on irresponsibility of the father and not mother? If you want to talk of mothers' irresponsibility, create one and stop derailing the thread.
And I'm still not getting you, would you say a wayward mother/married woman is as a result of the men approaching her and as such, they should be blamed?
Dis ya tinking get as e be o, shior.

hayoakins: Spreads mat to read the post...brb to comment meaningfully

Edited:

Now, you are gonna make me cry.

Polygamy is a modafking BIITCH, it is responsible for the high rate of irresponsible FATHERS

I don't totaly agree with u, do you know y? I have an uncle who married as many as eight wives and all his children were well taken care of and they are doing very great in all field of lifes now. As far back as 1992 1993 1994 these children write want list of=N= 40,000 plus Whenever they are going to school OAU UI UNAD UNIILORIN. and so many higher school of learning then even d one in borden house then in Fed govt colleges,Though polygamy is not good o but is not d one responsible for inresponsible for inresponsible children u see around its individual of a thing.