₦airaland Forum

jayjagz:
I've mentioned it earlier on, statutory marriage does not guarantee a monogamous marital union. Under a survey conducted by Aguda in Lagos Area alone. Out of 120 men married under the Act, 22 agreed that they have other wives outside and the hand of the law has not caught up with them. But isn't it better to be on the safer side?

r33d:
Countless posts have suggested that the initial poster may have stated some erroneous views but, it is an obvious idea to make a social relationship legal at least, in this case of marriage. It has been said over and over again that the customary/traditional marriage is the basic and more recognized form of marriage between families and in-laws. It is also without ado that the world is going global so, some infiltration such as divorce, separation,etc. have permeated into the Nigerian society.
It is as a result of these infiltration that every marriage or social relationship should be recognized by law as well.

MadCow1:
[b]The trend in Nigeria for contracting a marriage today goes like this;

1. Introduction.. This is not considered a marriage as it is simply a formality under various customs where the parents of the groom meets the bride's parents and officially state their intent to marry their daughter..

2. Traditional Marriage... This is the official marriage under the customs of the people where dowry is paid and other traditional rites observed in accordance with the customs and tradition of the brides people. This marriage is legal under the laws of Nigeria and recognized in any court. Howbeit that in case of a divorce or any other disputes, the recognized customs of the people take precedence and the customary courts have jurisdiction in such matters. Now the basic problem with this marriage is the lack of a legal document like a license or certificate backing it. Now in court, wedding photos and witnesses are almost always the proofs provided. But seeing as photos fade and get lost and credibility of witnesses can easily be challenged, there is always a problem of proof associated with this form of marriage..

However, I just learnt on this thread that some form of documentation or registry has been opened at local government offices for this.. I am not sure about this nor have I ever heard of it until now.

3. Church Marriage/white wedding.... This is where the couple dress up in a gown and a suit with bridesmaids and groomsmen and go before a church to be joined together in HOLY MATRIMONY. Now this in and of itself carries no legal backing under the laws per se, especially if that church isn't recognized or permitted to contracted marriages on behalf of the courts. So if a couple only does this type of marriage (in an unapproved church) without going to court or carrying out traditional rights, the marriage can be classified under Common law marriage.. If both parents consent to the marriage, then I am not too certain as it could be either considered customary or common law marriage.. I am not too certain about this but would check and revert..

Article 42 of the Nigerian Marriage act is why I feel that wedding/marriages contacted by unapproved churches is as good as useless and even criminal..

42. Whoever performs or witnesses as a marriage officer the ceremony of marriage, knowing that he is not duly qualified so to do, or that any of the matters required by law for ceremony. the validity of such marriage has not happened or been performed, so that the marriage is void or unlawful on any ground, shall be liable to imprisonment for five years.


Subject to further interpretation by a Lawyer as I am not too sure on this one.

4. Court Marriage/registry...... This marriage is governed by Federal Laws which as you know is the highest jurisdiction in the land. The license issued here is a legal document and is irrefutable proof of marriage as it is carried out before a certified representative of the courts and in the presence of two witnesses. This marriage does not even require the presence nor consent of the parents of either parties if both parties are above the age of 21.

Now to directly answer your question about which marriage takes precedence where all the above stated types of weddings have been done and the answer is THE COURT MARRIAGE as it is governed by federal laws. So a man who is married to his first wife under federal laws and goes ahead to take a second under customary laws is guilty of polygamy which is an Offence according to article 47 of the marriage act stated below

47. Whoever, having contracted marriage under this Act, or any modification or re-enactment thereof, or under any enactment repealed by this Act, during the continuance of such marriage contracts a marriage in accordance with customary law, shall be liable to imprisonment for five years.




Now the main purpose of this thread which I support is that since most customs and tradition are gender biased in favor of the men and to the detriment of the women and children, it is strongly advisable for a woman going into a marriage to insist on getting married at the registry to protect herself against the unforeseen future.. I support this because the registry/court marriage is not gender biased and would always protect the interest of the weaker party or the victim irrespective of gender and more importantly the children.

[/b]

kolamilan:
you go fear summary lol

slimmy05:
Are you saying traditional marriage don't guarantee such?

majekdom2:
and please tell me , was he asked to give the woman anything .I guess the OP hasnt seen such cases .married women who are not in stable relationships have barely contributed on here.

InglishTeechar:
Most Nigerian women watch too many home videos so they forget we live in d real world...after their teenage fantasies of a tall guy with six packs d next episode of their life will be the glamore of a white wedding...girls should please wake up from dreamland. Even Jesus christ emphassied on LOVE...not the glamore and the razmattaz of life.

One more thing...any girl pushing for court marriage is after your property period.

Mondisweets:
neither a customary marriage nor a civil marriage can guarantee a stable family or parent, but a registered marriage can guarantee matrimonial rights, which by the way is the main purpose of creating this thread (if you took time to read the first post carefully)

Mondisweets:
please what does "neither" and "nor" mean?

Mondisweets:
have u ever heard of anything called "marriage out of community of property" or "prenuptial contracts"

Mondisweets:
have u ever heard of anything called "marriage out of community of property" or "prenuptial contracts"

Mondisweets:
neither a customary marriage nor a civil marriage can guarantee a stable family or parent, but a registered marriage can guarantee matrimonial rights, which by the way is the main purpose of creating this thread (if you took time to read the first post carefully)

josite:
divorce case is expensive.i charge 500k minimum so my advise is if are not sure ,too sure of yourselves yet.b content with payment pf bride price.registry wedding and celebrations are better done after the flow is assured.realise you are marrying in a fun era where fun is the predominant factor.very soon a spouse discover u are not fun enof cus a better fun man/woman is meant on the internet and off they go to meet the fun person.wisdom demands it pays for both especially women to simply return the brideprice and move on rather than be saddled wit the cost and trauma of a divorce case.

Toks2008:
Sometimes but for proper decorum i ought to be calling some people some names by virtue of how they reason. I am a matured man and when i write stuffs on nairaland i desist from using some aggravated words but i will always try to maintain that status quo irrespective of the fact that most people who use these words are still very immature and it will be a disdain to respond in like manner.

This is a public forum and it takes an intellectually dull and low life character to discuss issues based on individual's opinion and using funny and derogatory phrases

Nevertheless, registering your marriage has nothing to do with culture Mr thick skull.

Cyberknight:
Very well said. That is just the heart of the matter - matrimonial rights. And it must be pointed out that the sad fact is that most women see matrimonial rights from the point of view of a) being able to lay claim to their husband's property in the event of his death or b) being able to prevent being destituted by their husband's family in the event of his death. However, with modern life and the attendant increasing economic empowerment of women, one hopes that that mindset shall change. It is changing, albeit slowly.

personally I do not believe that my brothers or my family should ever inherit anything belonging to me as I have my own nuclear family except what customary law reserves for them in the areas where male line inheritance prevails in the village (i.e. if one has only female children in my part of Igboland, they are barred from inheriting family land). I have always believed that times have changed drastically and the best person to take care of a man's children in the event of his untimely death is usually not his brother, but his wife, who is the mother of said children and is the person most likely to have their best interests at heart.

slimmy05:
so customary marriage don't guarantee marital rights? You are a criminal as your motives for marriage is the wealth and not the well being of the marriage.

Mondisweets:
I don't want you to think that I'm against customary marriages, of cause i would one day love to have a traditional wedding. The issue is that most customary marriages all over Africa offer little protection to the women and children with regards to succession and cases of divorce. This is why i promote entering into civil marriages as well. Its not that i have lost my identity and culture as an African woman. its simply means that i have accepted the changes our society has adapted, and still embrace my cultural and traditional values as well.

cococandy:
You also have the patience of a saint

Mondisweets:
And this by the way is the reason why the OP created this thread and emphasized on entering a civil marriage as well. We are pretty much done here

Please make your statements to the point at issue. My statement which you contested was that a customary marriage is a valid marriage in Nigeria. The rights it confers on those who go into it are not what we were arguing about. You implied that customary marriages are somehow illusory in the eyes of the law and I challenged that. I'm not upholding or justifying customs or traditions, I'm simply stating facts.


i thought you said customary marriages dont create legal uncertainties, so what exactly do you call the part in bold? if a civil marriage exists, the wronged spouse can seek legal remedies i.e. patrimonial rights

You are missing the point here. You postulated a situation where someone leaves his native land and goes abroad to reinvent himself anew as single man. That could happen even in the event of his having contracted a statutory marriage here, because it is not the responsibility of the US authorities for example to check with the Nigerian authorities, for example, to find out if someone getting married there is already married at home. As I said, it is an interested party who comes to challenge and this challenging is possible whether there is a marriage certificate from home or just evidence of a customary marriage. I repeat that there are no legal uncertainties with respect to customary marriages in the sense that the law is crystal clear about the rights and obligations accruing to and incumbent upon the partners in these situations. So where lies the uncertainty?

is that not depriving her of what belongs to her and her children's wellbeing and livelihood? why can't she and her children have ownership of that land?

Is this now a discussion of the fairness or otherwise of customs? My argument here is that a customary marriage is a valid marriage in Nigeria and as such is taken to be so abroad. That is all. The rights of spouses in traditional marriage are not at issue here.

With regards to maintaining the her and her kids, is it really exercised in reality in this day and age?

Cyberknight:
Very well said. That is just the heart of the matter - matrimonial rights. And it must be pointed out that the sad fact is that most women see matrimonial rights from the point of view of a) being able to lay claim to their husband's property in the event of his death or b) being able to prevent being destituted by their husband's family in the event of his death. However, with modern life and the attendant increasing economic empowerment of women, one hopes that that mindset shall change. It is changing, albeit slowly.

personally I do not believe that my brothers or my family should ever inherit anything belonging to me as I have my own nuclear family. I have always believed that times have changed drastically and the best person to take care of a man's children in the event of his untimely death is usually not his brother, but his wife, who is the mother of said children and is the person most likely to have their best interests at heart.

Mondisweets:
i already answered that question in a previous post, so stop asking it over and over again. If u know the meaning of "neither" and "nor" you already know what my answer is. Customary law offers little protection to women and children when it comes to inheritance or when the couple divorces. why do u keep shifting the goal post?

majekdom2:
what you should encourage your husband to do is to make a will .... it will favour both of you as you may wish to walk out of your marriage in future and your husband may not agree with that.

slimmy05:
because youre simply a gold digger, the more reason you are so into court marriage.

If your not content with customary marriage. Then go to hell

Mondisweets:
before you keep embarrassing yourself any further on a public forum. There is something called "marriage out of community of property" in family law. Kindly look it up and educate yourself on it.

josite:
by this u assume the wife is responsible enough not to fall madly in love with a fraudster and fritters all your investments on this lazy man whose dick your wife is craxy.it is often the case that soemwives after their death of thier husbands even abandion thir own kinds and elope with a randy guy,some even start competing with their daughter for men.so it kis advisable you put up a will and appoint a management committee consisting of your wife,family members,friends and professionals.That way you have a beeter assurance that your investments will not be frittered away on a gigolo by randy wives and daughters and their tribe is increasing evry minute.

Cyberknight:
There are NO legal uncertainities arising from customary law marriages. That is what the customary courts are there for.
Customary courts are constituted with persons from the immediate area in which they are located who are appointed on the basis of the fact that they are deemed to be familiar with their own people's customs. I do not know if and how familiar you are with your own tribal customs, but I am quite familiar with mine, and I can state that unfortunately, customs in my part of Igboland are not favourable to women in the event of a dissolution of a marriage mainly because the man is deemed to own the children (based on the ancient seed garden theory, perhaps), while women are considered chattels. So they go home to their father's houses empty-handed, while their families are required to return the brideprice and other anciliaries handed over when the marriage was contracted, etc, etc.

The witnesses to such a marriage can be legion or few as the case may be, but there are always people who were or are aware of the event. Surely not every single person who witnessed my marriage in both my family or my wife's family is dead now. And of course, pictures usually are extant, if there are any children there must be one or more birth certificates listing names of parents and so forth. I can assure you that evidence of such marriages is usually not difficult to obtain. Let me digress a bit and state that in every situation there is always a standard of proof that has to be met (which can change). Proving the existence of a marriage is not an uphill battle.

Secondly, you must understand that if a man contracts a customary marriage at home then goes abroad and contracts a statutory marriage there is no one to know that he has committed fraud, but that does not make it no longer fraud, it is still fraud. Obviously, once an interested party decides to demonstrate the fraud, then the law and its consequences shall kick in.

And finally, in answer to the hypothethical question you posed earlier, in my part of Igboland, as I have said, unfortunately customary law with respect to inheritance does not favour women and the widow in your case would not be able to inherit in the sense of owning the land - it will revert to her husband's family. However, customary law is not always unfair - the woman has a right to support and given that she "belongs" to her husband's family, they MUST support her and "their" children, and if the peasant farming was her husband's only means of support, she will most likely be allowed to continue with it to some extent. The woman's right to support can be enforced against the husband's family under customary law in my part of Igboland.

Mondisweets:
and if u get married according to civil law even without a will existing, all the children (marital or extra-marital) can be awarded equal shares of inheritance. At the end they are all equally protected. None is treated unfairly by clauses in a will.

Toks2008:
I think i do but i had to learn it.

filiks:
First of all, I'm sorry about your situation.

But it's no 'super story', my friend. Every story cannot be the same.

And yea, people do change, change is constant so everyone should expect it. But it is also very possible to manage that change and if possible flow with it. And if you truly think you can't work it out, then...

But I've also observed that most times, people overlook certain behaviors their spouse exhibit before marriage hoping they'll magically disappear after walking down the aisle. I'm not saying it was the same in your case though.