₦airaland Forum

daisy123:
Are you against God WHO sed men shud get married and multiply? Or do you support the antichrist who supports gay marriage instead of getting married to women ? DON'T BE MISLEAD BY THIS !!!

duerap:
First of all let me state up front that i am a married man with two kids. That been said, now lets get to the point, i did not read the entire passage but going through some of the first points raised by the OP, i must say i absolutely concour with what the writer has to say.

Marriage is over rated! Don't get me wrong, i am not saying marriage is not good. It is good for those who want it (like me) but it is absolutely over rated. Marriage is more of an act of obedience to nature, not the fulfillment of a glorious fantasy as thought by so many. If you must get married, prepare to discipline yourself and adhere to the reality of the circumstances explained by the OP. It is only on this understanding that it is a responsibility that it can survive.

Keep it real and simple. Don't be forced into it. Get fully convinced that you really want to be in it forever, no matter what, because it is a sacrifice not a bed of roses. That way you'll will not only enjoy the ride but will also be at peace with everything - career, your living environment, your earnings (big or just enough) etc.

Finally, marriage is not a must. If you dont want it, it's okay - it does not make you half a man or less of a man. You can be great without a woman in your life. And it is also a fact that without your own children, your name can aslo be immortalised by your greatness or noble deeds.
So, it's up to you to make a choice. Either way, you can stamp your feet on the indelible sand of time with or without marriage.

tivta:
. They are lots of single parents out there MR man. Flavour, 2face, etc. Having children outside marriage is not a crime its just the society that frowns upon it.

killjoy:
readers discretion adviced: this is a long post. get a bowl of popcorn and your glasses. turn off the TV , you don't want to get distracted. if it took me time to write such a lengthy post, I wonder why you should complain about reading it. below are the reasons.

1. We're too different to live together: women love people and relationships, men love objects (like cars, houses, gadgets, game consoles etc), a man's lot is his career, a woman's is marriage (according to the curse after the fall of man), women are indirect, men are always direct, men want sex before they develop feelings for women, women can't have sex without emotional attachment first(unless they r who.res, even if they are who.res lolzzz), a man wants to hv sex, a woman wants to make love (I swear she doesn't even mind just cuddling), men see having dinner as a time to quench hunger, women see having dinner as time for bonding, let me continue? A married man without money feels unfulfilled, a wealthy woman without a man feels similarly, I can go on and on! But no time, my point, you need a lot of patience, tolerance, understanding, endurance, compromise etc to survive in marriage. But life is too short, stay single and be free to be urself or get married and spend the rest of your life struggling to be another person. Continue reading, this is just one of seven.

2. Love doesn't exist: if you intend to stake your future with a woman on an emotion as erratic as love, then you need to have ur head examined. Love is an emotional convulsion which, like other sicknesses, are recovered from with time. Experience has thought me that a woman's love is only skin deep, but you can accentuate it with money. Ohhhh how women react to the smell of cash. Bleep love and go make some muller.

3. You don't need a child: the world will remember you by the kids you left behind. That's a big fat lie!! You don't need a carbon copy of yourself roaming the earth after your demise to ensure your immortality. Instead, the world will remember you by the feats you surmounted! Obama will be remembered not as the father of, I don't even know his child's name and I don't give a fvck bout it! But as the first black US President. Mother Theresa never had a child, Einstein's legacy is not his kids but his discoveries. My point! You are not remembered by the kids you had but the records you set. But if you badly want a kid, adopt one, or get a baby mama and impregnate her but never, never get married just to have kids. marriage is too great a price to pay.

4. There is absolutely nothing new marriage has to offer you: just be honest with yourself. A family? You already belong to one (or do you think you just appeared out of thin air?), love? Your mother loves you like die, trust moi. A woman to manage your home? Get a maid! pay her well and she will manage your home without complications like disrespecting you, PMS, etc. Sex? Gone are the days men marry for sex ooo!!! Sex is damn cheap, you don't need marriage to enjoy it. By the way, what makes you think getting married entitles you to sex when you want it, ie, if at all?? U never jam female Hitler. Continue reading, I'm not even close to the end.

5. Marriage is expensive: a woman's problems end when she gets married (at least on financial level), while a man's problems just begin. Most ladies don't have plans of making money(some stop after getting married). for a woman, after graduating from uni, a husband is top on d list above a job ie, if a job is on the list. Guys, stay alone and worry for one. Apart from financially, marriage drains you emotionally. You have to deal with a partner suffering from PMS five days in a month for life (by the time she reaches menopause, you'd be probably dead) and when she ain't suffering PMS, its worse cos she is pregnant!! Don't forget regular mood swings, test games, among other complicated female emotional ailments. Plus wait till you get divorced before you know how much financially and emotionally expensive marriage could be. That brings us to...

6. It may end up in divorce: possible causes of divorce. She gains weight, sex with one person for years gone stale and boring, the love (or whatever dumb ass name you call it) fades, you want a new woman, (men are polygamous by nature, hard truth. Deal with it), she is no longer the woman you married, (true, women do change after marriage for many reasons, that is story for another day), you cheat on her, she cheats on you, many many more. Don't scar yourself with a painful divorce. Stay single and happy.

7. You get to focus on your dreams without distractions. Like I said earlier, a man's career is his lot (or curse). As s man if you haven't got a successful career, you will probably die unhappy and unproductive. The compromise you have to make to keep her happy will retard you from achieving your dreams to the fullest. Pleasing a woman and pursuing your dreams are mutually exclusive. don't get married.

disclaimer: its ironic when people say honesty is a virtue yet can't bear to hear (or read) the truth.

nota bene: I am not prejudiced towards women. I hate all equally.

adisa009:
Sacred words are unquestionable. I shared in totality all Op have expressed but as a mere creature who would give account of his deeds to the creator one day, I have no objection to what God actually ordained hence my reason for marriage. To me, there is absolutely nothing so spectacular about marriage aside from getting involved to obey your unquestionable God just like other religious rites. May God forgive us as the topic is highly sensitive.

vicoloni:
I almost fell for your killjoy post until I read the above quoted comment by you. Then I realised you are a victim of broken home.
Pele.

kayciano:
GOODMORNING ALL....
LETS pass an E-VOTE and table the result before the NATIONAL ASSEMBLY for ENDORSEMENT...
4ME.....MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED....
MARRIAGE is a two - way thing...
--can either be a MILLIPEDE or CENTIPEDE..
--MILLIPEDE (here, u marry a successful reasonable lady, inherit more joy than sorrow from her and live happily..).

--CENTIPEDE (here, u marry a jobless, nagging lady,inherit more sorrow than joy and live in ANARCHY).

so...dats Y as a man trying to be succesful DON'T EVER RUSH MARRIAGE xcept u are SURE u have a MILLIPEDE dat will always remain a MILLIPEDE..
REASON being that a LADY will never PONDER when it comes to choosing between a SUCCESSFUL MAN and an UNFORTUNATE MAN...they always know their kind of MEN before MARRIAGE and always hope to catch such MEN....
SO don't support sympathy marriage...

killjoy:
hahahahaha!!!! me get married!!! my dear I'm nt deceiving anyone. I used to be a pro marriage until I saw gals n marriage for wot dey r. sweetie I don't knw wot kind of story u or whoeva has to undo what I hv learnt from my personal experience. I have great plans for my lyf. marriage has no place in d grand plan

germainediva:
Am a married woman wt 3 kids and to be honest d op made a lot of sense........but my dear its worse 4 women 90% of married women in nigeria to day are still in dre marriage not becos dey r happy but cos of soceity,family,children,religion,stigma attached to a divorced woman,etc......women go tru a lot in d name of marriage,dese days infidelity is like pure water both married men and women r playing d game and social media has worsen d situation.......BUT what ever path we choose don't 4get we shall all die 1 day and must give account of how we lived.

zoeee:
Only dumb guys will eat all'o dis ... And yes , there are happily married men.... I can count... Every marriage has its ups n down. That doesn't mean u should write it off.... Ur kind will be the first to get married after deceiving others..

MrsBreezy:
I'm sure they're lots of good things about marriage you've chosen to withheld.

You should let them see both then decide

zyzxx:
so far it takes two opposite sex to av a baby. Dat means d they must be together. Dat one law of marriage.
man can't do without woman, so d best things is too work out our difference.
U think 2face and co, kids are Apy to live without there father wit them hell no!!

killjoy:
ofxos I do! I'm against complicating a persons lyf for my personal gain. myt b hard to believ Bt I hv an active conscience

merit12:
I can't fit shout

Stop thinking everyone is like you.

Let the boys do what they like jor


Nor be person born you,you are starting to sound like a black guy.

I must commend you,it not easy to compose such a long post(copy and past)I'm not saying so o.

Nice write up op,may God bless your left and right hands only.leave d rest plaace for making an effort.


Hmmm still typing

All quoters shall go to.........so?don't quote me(fullstop)

daisy123:
Are you against God WHO sed men shud get married and multiply? Or do you support the antichrist who supports gay marriage instead of getting married to women ? DON'T BE MISLEAD BY THIS !!!

K9Uneet:
Hit a raw nerve, did he?

0merta:
I feel you, Bro!

You too much!

Marriage is sure overrated in this part of the world.

I'm the kind of Nigger that loves being alone...that loves revelling in the depths of solitude and I've made up my mind a long time ago NOT to "walk down any fuckin' aisle"...

There are exceptions to all rules though. I'd gladly get married if she's a Virgin, possesses a doctorate degree from Harvard or Ox-bridge, has the qualities to knock Kim Kardashian into a cocked hat, with respect to pulchritude and voluptuousness...and finally has the capability to defeat Magnus Carlsen and Garry Kasparov in a game of Chess...

If I jam this kain woman ehn, I wouldn't only walk down the aisle with her with every cell of my heart...I'd show her boundless love, give her my all...and suck her Pussy even when she's menstruating.

But the question is...this kian woman dey?

SINGLE till I die!

ifeness:
Stupid question!

tivta:
. What of beyonce disowning her dad for cheating on her mother? Don't you know her parents are now divorced? She is now fighting with her life to make her marriage work with Jayz so as to prove people wrong,let's just hope she doesn't die in the process cause we all know Jayz as the tendency to cheat as well.

Misogynist2014:
JUST ANSWER. GOOD ARGUMENTS START WITH STUP..ID QUESTIONS.

linearity:
I am not totally taking sides on this, but the OP made some very valid points....A man is never the same again, when he gets married. That is why it is important that, you have a direction in life, know your destination, get a job before you get marry.

And, there is nothing like 'love' or the 'one'....Love is in the eyes of the beholder and it means different things to different people....To Bisi love is a 6 feet tall man, with good manners, smiles, goes to church, from a good family, etc....but to Mary, love could mean any guy that can pay her bills....yet to Nkechi, love could be a man from her tribe, who is educated, etc...You cannot say Bisi's definition of love is more better and tangible than Mary's...both of them are happy...Bisi got her God fearing man and Mary got a guy that pays her bills and they both got love and they are happy...You might say..but Mary's is focus on temporary earthly things..what if the guy stop paying her bills, or got poor...well there is no guarantee that Bisi's object of love will not backslide, stop going to church, etc....

The truth is the Genesis 6:6 states and I quote "And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart"

You can slide and dice it all you want, but the plain truth of that scripture indicated without ambiguity that God regretted creating man and it grieved him for doing so.

Adam was just fine in the Garden before Eve came into the picture, he never questioned God's commands, instructions....we all know what happened when evi came into the picture.

Guys should stop deceiving themselves that the Ladies are looking for 'love' even the so called born again christian sisters...they all have a bucket load of qualities they are looking for in a guy...once they match about 80%-90% of those things to a guy, then they will fall in "love"...if there is such a thing as unconditional love, why are the spirit filled, good manner brothers, who are truckpushers, carpenters, bricklayers, etc in church not getting married? Are they not also children of God?...If that same brother wins America visa lottery, I beat you Sis. Fumi or Tayo will see a vision and fall in "love" or she will start nursing regrets why she did not fall in "love" before now.

Again, I do not subscribe to some of the views of the OP, but the truth is sometime bitter...I love kids, I want to have kids with my wife...I understand that marriage is not a bed of roses, it is a continual daily work, I also understand that a good marriage is not auto-pilot and as a single man, you have lesser things to worry about, you have more time for focus on your passion, career, business, etc.