Fembleez1:


Oh,......I see!!!

You don't sound too convinced

numericalguy:


Lolz.. Is this how you have been arguing with him? No wonder the guy is having a hard time coping with you.

I think you are a nice person and straight forward too, but you seem a bit temperamental with the "I'm always right" feeling to go wth it.
You really do have feelings for this guy which s why I would want you to put in a little more effort in the r/ship to make it work. Besides, what is the posibility that the next guy you'll be meeting will not come with a baggage of his own problems.
Try and be more patient with him and every other person you deal with.

Cheers!!!

I liked your response. It sounds very level headed. Lol, you sort of touched on things he used to complain about the most:

1)He didn't like the "way" I spoke to him sometimes.
2) I'm controlling, but I'm not I only took control when he wasn't doing anything
3)He never really complained that I'm a know it all - just that I always made myself the one in the right and him in the wrong when in actual fact it was the other way around
4)Okay, there have been people who've said I think I know it all (very same people always run to me for my knowledge) but I don't (honest!!! Else I wouldn't be here listening to people tell me I'm egotistical). I'm just confident about the little I do know, is that a bad thing? Besides, *patting my hair* it ain't my fault pips be feeling threatened by my intelligence.

I still think you are unfair putting all the blame on me. A relationship involves two people not one and I'm the one looking for a solution, not him.

UPDATE: so I eventually got the courage to call him. He didn't know who was speaking so I pretended I called the wrong number (childish, I know - but he deleted me!!! :') ).

Guess now we all know for sure that it's OVER :'):'):').

DieeDiee:

You don't sound too convinced

DieeDiee:

If you not together it's not cheating. Like if he is with someone now he is not cheating on me we've broken up. And I also went on a few dates with someone else during those 3 weeks so it's all good.

DieeDiee:
UPDATE: so I eventually got the courage to call him. He didn't know who was speaking so I pretended I called the wrong number (childish, I know - but he deleted me!!! :') ).
Guess now we all know for sure that it's OVER :'):'):').

Now you know yourself,.....learn from this and move on stronger if it is best for you,tho for me,I always say 'No other relationship is better than the one I am now' cause if you look back at past relationships,it won't help and also,if you say 'I will find a better person',Lol,.....how sure are you,that person would make a better relationship??,.....just learn to be humble and submissive(tho not that u shouldn't have a say but respect your guy),......learn to say "I'm sorry" when you are wrong and "please,am not offended" when he is wrong,you both shouldn't be angry at the same time cause it will add fuel to the fire burning in both of you,when he is boiling,be calm,when you are boiling(which I am not advising you to always boil),let him be calm,pray to God,do not invite any third party except when things can't be resolved by either of you,do not compare your partner with someone else,your partner and relationship is the Best and should be the Best!!





Am not that experienced but you can always seek advice from me or the thread as you've done!

Stay cool and enjoy yourself

Fembleez1:


.....just learn to be humble and submissive(tho not that u shouldn't have a say but respect your guy),......

learn to say "I'm sorry" when you are wrong and "please,am not offended" when he is wrong,

you both shouldn't be angry at the same time cause it will add fuel to the fire burning in both of you, when he is boiling,be calm,when you are boiling(which I am not advising you to always boil),let him be calm

First off, I appreciate your concern for me and you taking time to read my post and advise me - thank you sincerely. BUT you made jaw drop!!! You made points that deserve a whole new thread!!!

1) Humble and submissive. SUBMISSIVE?!?!? Wow, what a HEAVY word!!! Why should I be submissive? He's not my master he is just my partner. I have no problem allowing a man LEAD but he cannot LORD/MASTER over me. I am not a submissive kind of woman and I was never taught to be submissive. Women in my culture are not expected to be submissive or to prostrate to a man so sorry that is a foreign concept to me. Men are meant to be leaders of the home not lords or masters.

2) I don't understand why I keep being blamed. All the r/ship burden has been put on me and it seems you guys expect the woman to put in 350% effort and the man only 25% Yet, I'm supposed to allow this man to lord over me?

A) I've said over and over again in order to end the fights I used to just apologise but I now realize that was a mistake because it weakened my position and he never got the chance to see his errors and basically the burden of the r/ship fell on me. I have no problem admitting I'm wrong but I will never again apologise just to calm a man down.
B) If I am offended I will not hide it. What good is it to hide it? Aren't r/ships supposed to be about honesty? Hiding my offense is like ignoring a deep wound. The negative emotions will fester and resentment and hate will build up and a toxic r/ship will grow. I'm sorry but my emotional well-being is much more important to me than being in a r/ship. I'd much rather release my feelings and say my piece than allow poison to infect my soul. What good is there to be in a r/ship and be MISERABLE when I can be much more happier single?

3) Yes, I will give you the first part of your statement. It is not advisable for two people to boil at the same time and this does not only relate to a romantic r/ship. But the rest of your statement again, it seems you expect the woman to shoulder all the burden. I must work hard to please him and make sure he calms down? What about me? Why doesn't he try to keep me happy and calm? I matter too, don't I?

DieeDiee:


First off, I appreciate your concern for me and you taking time to read my post and advise me - thank you sincerely. BUT you made jaw drop!!! You made points that deserve a whole new thread!!!

1) Humble and submissive. SUBMISSIVE?!?!? Wow, what a HEAVY word!!! Why should I be submissive? He's not my master he is just my partner. I have no problem allowing a man LEAD but he cannot LORD/MASTER over me. I am not a submissive kind of woman and I was never taught to be submissive. Women in my culture are not expected to be submissive or to prostrate to a man so sorry that is a foreign concept to me. Men are meant to be leaders of the home not lords or masters.

2) I don't understand why I keep being blamed. All the r/ship burden has been put on me and it seems you guys expect the woman to put in 350% effort and the man only 25% Yet, I'm supposed to allow this man to lord over me?

A) I've said over and over again in order to end the fights I used to just apologise but I now realize that was a mistake because it weakened my position and he never got the chance to see his errors and basically the burden of the r/ship fell on me. I have no problem admitting I'm wrong but I will never again apologise just to calm a man down.
B) If I am offended I will not hide it. What good is it to hide it? Aren't r/ships supposed to be about honesty? Hiding my offense is like ignoring a deep wound. The negative emotions will fester and resentment and hate will build up and a toxic r/ship will grow. I'm sorry but my emotional well-being is much more important to me than being in a r/ship. I'd much rather release my feelings and say my piece than allow poison to infect my soul. What good is there to be in a r/ship and be MISERABLE when I can be much more happier single?

3) Yes, I will give you the first part of your statement. It is not advisable for two people to boil at the same time and this does not only relate to a romantic r/ship. But the rest of your statement again, it seems you expect the woman to shoulder all the burden. I must work hard to please him and make sure he calms down? What about me? Why doesn't he try to keep me happy and calm? I matter too, don't I?

Yes,you do!!



But you are the one seeking advise here not him and In my last post I was not being partial,why are you taking only that statement up??.

Mehn,I don't know what to say again o!!

Fembleez1:


Yes,you do!!



But you are the one seeking advise here not him and In my last post I was not being partial,why are you taking only that statement up??.

Mehn,I don't know what to say again o!!

Lol @ pic...

No, last post was the men and you were all telling me I have an ego and I need to be submissive and work hard on pleasing a man so now I'm asking the ladies should a woman be submissive and work harder than a man like you guys were suggesting.

Happy New Year to you all!

So guys I was minding my own business when I suddenly received a message from Mr Man wishing me all kinds of blessings for 2015. I was shocked (and excited) because I literally haven't seen or spoke to him since Sept and remember when I fake called him he "didn't know" who was calling so I am surprised he had my number after all. Anyway, I replied: "thank you same to you" because I thought he was being polite with his blessing. He surprised me again but starting a conversation and using blushing and smiling faces in his text messages. So what is your guys' take? Do I have a shot at a 4th chance or was he just being polite or maybe he's back because he just wants someone to waste time with till he finds a new girlfriend? Bear in mind he once told me I always stress him out (lol) if that's the case would he still come back just to use me if he knows I'm going to stress him out?

Ps we were together on and off for 6 months

move on

DieeDiee:
Happy New Year to you all!

So guys I was minding my own business when I suddenly received a message from Mr Man wishing me all kinds of blessings for 2015. I was shocked (and excited) because I literally haven't seen or spoke to him since Sept and remember when I fake called him he "didn't know" who was calling so I am surprised he had my number after all. Anyway, I replied: "thank you same to you" because I thought he was being polite with his blessing. He surprised me again but starting a conversation and using blushing and smiling faces in his text messages. So what is your guys' take? Do I have a shot at a 4th chance or was he just being polite or maybe he's back because he just wants someone to waste time with till he finds a new girlfriend? Bear in mind he once told me I always stress him out (lol) if that's the case would he still come back just to use me if he knows I'm going to stress him out?

Ps we were together on and off for 6 months