₦airaland Forum

ireneony:
I will advice u to quit the relationship, your relationship is not healthy.
what i learn from your relationship with the supposed guy is;

You are always the one to apologized first, which is not always good

You play the role of your boyfriend. once a guy start asking for money and you continue to give him money, he will never stop asking you. real men don't ask their spouse for money, you know why, is because of their alter ego, they take the responsibility as their duties to take care of a woman. Am not disputing the fact you should not lend money to your man, except you knows when he has money he always gives you, then when his broke, it will be of great use to help him out.

You suffer from low self esteem, why?...why because you want a man to validate what you should do, you don't need to please him every time to know he loves you.

You said something about his aunt, dear i can boastfully tell you that, the very day you called him and told you he was with his aunt that why he was ending your call....that was a big fat lie, he was with his main chick. when you call a guy, and he continuously end your call that means he is with a lady, you don't need a prophet to tell you that. Your boyfriend is not from a rich family "na wash"his probably broke. Let me ask you, has he ever taking you to greet some of his relatives, if no....then where did you get the conclusion his from a rich background.....i laugh in Chinese

How can you be dating for three years, and you have only met on six occasions......that is so unhealthy. With what you wrote, i can see you hold your relationship in a high esteem which means you value the relationship, but that of your boyfriend i can tell he does not value you.

You are scared of heartbreak my dear, heartbreak is just a phase, a time will come when you will be happy you made the right decision.

Conclusively, i will advise you to breakup with him cos he is not worth dying for. it breaks my heart to see how some guys can be so heartless towards a lady that sacrifices everything for them and at the end of the day, they end up maltreating their lady.
This is why i dont believe in long term relationship and i don't encouraged when a lady lives with a man that has not paid her bride price, doing all these does not mean he will marry you.
when you find the right person, a prophet don't need to consult the holy spirit to tell you, you found Mr. right.
One of the problem with us women is, trying to change a man that can't be changed. i laugh when i hear women says, he is going to change because of me, better leave him now and not end up regretting later in your life.
op, use your medulla oblongata.......

BREAK UP WITH HIM AND LEAVE THE SCUMBAG ALONE

ShirelleBaby:
u can't just help in loving IRENEONY--good advice.


OP,sorry

teefany:
thank you very much @ ireneony, repogirl .andromida, striktlymi ,roland17.....and everyone,trully i will do just that,the other time i told him i wanted to quit,he was like is that all i could come up with,that not at this stage shld that happen,bla bla bla.......i think i will just block his line,,,,he doesnt have my add'....and i will try to be strong too against wateva manipulative way he wants to use to bring me back....thank you all

teefany:
thank you very much @ ireneony, repogirl .andromida, striktlymi ,roland17.....and everyone,trully i will do just that,the other time i told him i wanted to quit,he was like is that all i could come up with,that not at this stage shld that happen,bla bla bla.......i think i will just block his line,,,,he doesnt have my add'....and i will try to be strong too against wateva manipulative way he wants to use to bring me back....thank you all

lala9966:
It would take me two days to read that! Can I ask do they teach English where you study? Grammer babe sort that out pls

andromida:
Be gone from him babe just be gone and you are welcome. There are so many better men out there you don't want to settle for a man who is not good for and to you.

ireneony:
yea....the former was that of my sis

ichapi55:
Ok @ireneony can we be friends.? Can I PM u??

ireneony:
ok, no prob

teefany:
hello everyone.am new here.decided to create an account after being a long time guest

bact to the matter.the problem am been in this relationship with this guy,and its our third year of being to gether,and one thing is we quarell alot on phone and when we see we are always very happy to see each other ,that we almost forget we have/had an issue on ground.we apologise,kiss and make up and thats it..and we have met just four times this year.due to schooling and we stay far apart,and i hardly have time to leave home when on hols.

so the issue again is we have issues sharing,and i beleive a couple should always be able to give to one another even if its once in a while...for instance while in school i.e earlier this year,he had issues financially and due to the fact that hes a type thats used to spending,hardly ever goes broke the issue affected him well,which i noticed while talking to him on phone,cos he began to sound depressed,isolated himself etc.i spoke to him and told him to cheer up that atleast your in school,and its not like your sponsoring anyones life(moreover hes only broke due to mismangement not that he wast giving money oo he even spent 22k out of his schoolfees on his birthday with freinds while i was busy scrambling money to get airtime to call him almostt every minute,then he started blaming me when i was like why would he do such,and was like shebi i was the one who told him to enjoy his day wel dat i shld have adviced him,meanwhile he dint ask or tell me about it o,before going ahead),i began to share my money with him that period,at a time i made it 70/30(he got the seventy part o) but i wasnt really bothered oo cos i am the type who is good at managing.but then i realised he spends #1000 or m a day o someone who should be managing.while i who give out was spending #1000 for 4 to 5 days.i told him and he was like ha the money is small,and i was like olowo,so i reduced the amount and started sending him 1k which he had to spend for like 3 days too before i go bankrupt that semester.......so i did this,and also spoke to him inspirationally atleast to make him happy.

and even after that,he needed ro write summer exams for courses he carried over,and he got info dat a paper was 15k and he had three to write,asked me for assistance and i was like i didnt have,i even needed money for some stuffs which he was aware of oo,and all i had was 5k which i knew i couldnt spare cos i had it for 3months for rainy days which i knew i was in then......mind you all the while i needed money he had 25k with him which i knew of,but i never asked of little from him,cos i felt he wanted to aasist he would without me asking,he just joined me smh.....so i told him to tell his aunt whom he stays with cos his mom is gone...and for the fact that he brags about them being rich,(she buys a shoe over 100k,they have over 7cars bla blabla),i told him to ask her,since its small money to him na,patapata they will insult him for failing ,but he said no,after begging and convincing him that i dint want him to have extra year (imagine begging for his own good) he agreed and told her,then he toldme she said she is broke and doesnt have. and i was like abi u dint tell her,cos that money is meagre to you people since u claim money is always theree,and i know she will give u if u told her,he cut the call,i called and he was like dont i know the aunt was there that she felt bad and felt like she intentionally dint want to give him,then i was like y was the phone on speaker,thatmoreover i dint mean it that way......he vexed ooo,i told him hope he knows its because of him that it happend that it was his goodness i was stressing for,he dint even answer but just kept saying u caused it?caused what abeg
he missed his exams atlast



fastforward to this current semester,i bcame broke too but for 2days due to the fact that mymum couldnt visit the bank,i dint even tell him,he kept asking if i had eaten over the phone i said nobut didnt tell him the reason,cosi am not used to sharing my problems ,then i told him(tho he had helped me onc,gave me 3k on a certain monday,tho by the nextday i already hadmoney,but i still expected him to ask like after 3dys if i was okay already,the way i normally did and for the fact that he could spend that money a day,like what if i still hadnt been sent money thats how i wil just be gented,i just felt it was more like returning what i had once given him.funny enough that week he lost 25k to a football match in his school that same week while i was thinki-g maybe he was broke,i swallowed my saliva,didnt even bother asking him and all was like usual)...so this time i told him and he promised to sendme money to feed,but that day he didnt,i called he dint even talke about it,i was very hungry that i had to sleep like that,then when he called me and was jollying like he won a lottery,i told him and he was like ha i shldnt be angry that hes having brain issues that he sbeen forgetting things very well this days,and i was like but u can remember the date am coming to see you ba? i told him not to worry again,that he shldnt bother agian that i could take care of myself,he got angry and was like am not believing him,that am taking things out on him(like kilode who should be angry between us)........we got on bad terms again,bit madeup,and i apologised but i told him i wasnt suprised,that he should start becoming responsible,atleat get wiser as we are growing older,he has never fullfilled any thing he promised,even while goin to see him last week the deal was to bring something for one another,i brought his but he never brought mine,said he forgot,i asked why he was behaving that way and that itsa not like i ask of things from you,i havenever called to ask for something.......which is true,even if i have issues and i tell him he will jusst sigh.....it once got to a point where i told him i couldnt tell him my problem s cos he never does anything positively,not even words of advice,he would just be listenining and sapping it into his head like a nollywood movie


so today now i lost the money i needed to get airtime,fortunately for me i got an airtime via vtu,not knowing who sent it i called him and asked and said no,he asked how much told him Nd he went off,i later found out it was my sis,i called him again,we spoke and we went off,them this night he was like weldone you couldnt even assk after me,i said sorry it was cos i had no airtime,he said wat about that one and i told him i used it to call u nahun and the sender.and he was like ehn ehn aw may minutes did i spend calling him,i said u know the airtime was small that i had to call andtenk the sender,he then cut the call,called him.severallywas cutting,text him,and begged and asked what i did,he was talkn saying i talked like i dint care and i apologised that i dint mean it dat way,but he said that he dint need my apologies......i got angry texted him and told him i was tired .i couldn t kill my over a relationship and dat was all.no replies




please wat shld i do,cos am getting tired and begining to think its not worth it,tho i love him and think he does too,before i stay more years with him,send amiable suitors aways and end up alone at the end of the day??

ireneony:
ok, no prob

ireneony:
ok, no prob

pronto1:
from the look of things I can tell the school the guy goes to.

teefany:
Viewing this topic: pweetixandy (f), lala9966 ( f), Mynd44 and
2 guest(s)

please say something

ideology:
teefany, your post is somewhat touching.
My observations :
1. Its obvious you are dating a spoilt kid.
2. Both of you seem to be immature though you have a better understanding of what relationship is.
3. You are in love with the wrong person
4. That "boy" doesn't love you at all, don't be deceived.
5. Everything about the boy is down hill, eg education, family, personality, just name it.
6. It's also obvious this relationship has no advantages to you expect se-x in fact though you have not mentioned it, your grades are affected.
7. You are a kindhearted and loving lady, you cared for him like a mother

My advice :
1. Focus on your studies.
2. Practise loving yourself
3. quit that relationship immediately, it appears to me that if both of you were living under the same roof, you will likely be receiving punches
4. Don't give him a second chance if he comes, because hes likely gonna come back.
5. Keep being the good babe Don't change because of this experience

Finally, extend my regards to your mum.
Seems most of your traits are from her, she really did a great job on you

teefany:
thank you ....she will hear ......



i checked my blocked contacts now and saw misd callz ...and he then sent mesage saying "pick up!,......imagine....

Olami90:
d relationship is not healthy....
i av been laughing since reading ireneony's comment.she said it all, she is so so spot on.frm wot u narrated, he is not mature at all.d guy is a big tym scam nd he has been bobo-in u.all dis my aunt is there, spent 22k on birthday blah blah is a lie frm d pit of hell.even if he has spent dat much on frivolities, is dat d kind of guy u wanna settle down with?a guy dat does not av better plans? dat mismanages?
dnt forget dat u cant change anyone.another thing i will like to add is d part u mentioned seeing urselves nd forgettin dat there r issues on ground to settle nd strt kissin nd doin all sort of.honestly u guys are jst been driven by emotions.av u slept with him
it is glaring he is only connected to u wen u guys meet.
Dear, dnt mind wot it is gonna cost u to move on because he is gonna come bak knocking mayb cos of wot he is gettin frm u monetarily or pussitically(dats y i asked if u av slept wit him).
He does nt deserve u.With tym, u will get over it.
#cheers

ideology:
You have to be tough now
Don't let emotion play tricks on you.
Give him no second chance, you don't deserve the stress this early in life

Bwaal:
pls wia do u school?

teefany:
yes i will....thank you...hes stopped calling for now

teefany:
sorry why do u ask?

teefany:
what skul?