₦airaland Forum

mutter:
When you have nothing to live for, then you have everything to die for!

The fact that it keeps happening shows that the men are not all suddenly going mad.

A man that had worked so hard brought his much younger wife here to Germany, when they come to church the wife was so rude to the man, perhaps because she was better educated. I quickly grabbed hold of her and drew her aside. I warned her that her husband was respected in this community and if she ever tried it again where I was I would shred her to bits. Foolish girl!

These greedy bitches accept a man they do not love and are ashamed of just to get out of Nigeria and then they want to ruin the man.
Do you know that these men have worked so hard for so many years! Received all kinds of insults from society and then you bring this young girl and she gives you the final insult to let you know you are = 0.
How many of them come here with nothing and soon the man is out of his own home on the streets and having to pay maintenance.
When the study in America, they are able to do so because the man brought them there.
Nursing is not even a good paying job, like any menial job you can gather money if you work enough hours. While they are at work they cannot perform as wife`s so of what use is the work if it does not benefit the family?

No matter how educated or how much money they have a woman must humble herself and treat her husband with the utmost respect in all situations. That is not just good for the man but also for the children. The children are raised in an environment where the learn respect and manners.
That is what you get when a man that has struggled for years gets dragged into the mud in his own home. A man that has struggled and faced discrimination and abuse outside. Treat him like a king at home so that he can feel like the man he is, that will give him the strength to keep struggling.
Instead these women get rude, function like they don`t have a family, neglect the welfare of their husbands and homes and go running after the dollars.

tpiah11:
God forbid bad thing.

I generally dont even contribute to this type of thread because i know miscreants and sociopaths will be the majority here.

but sometimes you have to do such or else craze will be accepted as normal.

manny4life:
A man caring for his family is often the case, another fact is that most women are naturally greedy, in fact, they want to compete with their husband.

Fhemmmy:
That is a different issue and that is even the more reason you need to care so much for that woman that stayed with you despite the infertility . . .Lol

coogar:
you mean a woman that accepted the proposal of a 49-year-old american citizen should be applauded?

she musta been blind not to know what she's getting into? maybe we should just agree women cannot handle responsibility. every time they err, the man gets blamed for it.

cococandy:
i still don't get the phrase 'men losing all they worked for'
It is a lie. Only in Nigeria (nairaland to be precise ) does one hear it.

Property is shared equitably.
The man worked
The woman worked
In whatever ways they deemed appropriate at the time.

Then when they have problems
They want to divorce and their props are shared fifty-fifty or in the appropriate ratio depending on their case peculiarities.

Where does the man get off to feeling cheated?

All he worked for as in? The woman didn't do anything all their married life? She didn't bring money? She didn't keep the home front ? She didn't take care of the family and kids? Something you can't equate to money.

Yet somehow this man worked for it all his life and the wife just sat down in one corner and stared?

Why do they like to hype their contributions as if the wife didn't do anything to improve the marriage? Even the ones that have not paid 5yrs out of their mortgage wil be claiming 'all they worked for'

Rolls eye . Mtchew

Pls the law is not sentimental nor patriarchal.
It doesn't understimate the woman's efforts like our naija system does.

And most importantly it considers the kids first before the two adults who need to get their act together.

Hence the parent who is always available for the kids will the house because the house belongs to the kids. It is their birth right.usually it is the mothers but I've seen cases where the man got the house because he was able to prove that he has always been more available for the kids.
But mostly in general the house is split 50-50 with one party buying out the other.

No law is out to favor any gender.

Our naija brothers are so used to female suppression that fairness seems like unfairness to them.

manny4life:
Gbam... Now you see my sentiment to the so-called 50/50 sharing. After all the hustling, you want to part away with my money so that another idiot of a man will feast on my money... NEVER..

soulglo:
As manipulative as this sounds, this is really what people should do. The other alternative is never marry or maintain the same household. The thing is most of these men have no significant assets to start with. They're are just angry people who cannot cope in a society that actually places value on things you earn. This is totally different from the society they come ftim where value is placed in them simply because they are male. This is why many times Nigeroan women come overseas and excel. They are raised from childhood to work and expect no reward. When they get here and work for a month and get even a measley paycheck but still have a male boss see th in the morning and say "good morning ma'am", put in all the overtime they reasonably can and get "employee of the month" but get home and get called useless wife, they start to see how there's such an imbalance in their life situation. They realize that they feel worthy with a career and that becomes a focus. My dads driver in Nigetia came up see us in the US. He is a successful business man in Spain now. I don't expect that the relationship they had them is the same one they have now. I remember looking at him and even the expression on his face and the way he carried himself was different. You cannot tell s man like that to show up at your house at 6am in the morning because your child has to get to school early for drama practice. He had tasted a different side of life. You either grow with him or remove yourself from his life. No one should kill someone unless in self defense. These men are weak. Taking s gun or a knife to attack someone is a weak ass move. Grow some balls, get a divorce and move on.

mutter:
When you have nothing to live for, then you have everything to die for!

The fact that it keeps happening shows that the men are not all suddenly going mad.

A man that had worked so hard brought his much younger wife here to Germany, when they come to church the wife was so rude to the man, perhaps because she was better educated. I quickly grabbed hold of her and drew her aside. I warned her that her husband was respected in this community and if she ever tried it again where I was I would shred her to bits. Foolish girl!

These greedy bitches accept a man they do not love and are ashamed of just to get out of Nigeria and then they want to ruin the man.
Do you know that these men have worked so hard for so many years! Received all kinds of insults from society and then you bring this young girl and she gives you the final insult to let you know you are = 0.
How many of them come here with nothing and soon the man is out of his own home on the streets and having to pay maintenance.
When the study in America, they are able to do so because the man brought them there.
Nursing is not even a good paying job, like any menial job you can gather money if you work enough hours. While they are at work they cannot perform as wife`s so of what use is the work if it does not benefit the family?

No matter how educated or how much money they have a woman must humble herself and treat her husband with the utmost respect in all situations. That is not just good for the man but also for the children. The children are raised in an environment where the learn respect and manners.
That is what you get when a man that has struggled for years gets dragged into the mud in his own home. A man that has struggled and faced discrimination and abuse outside. Treat him like a king at home so that he can feel like the man he is, that will give him the strength to keep struggling.
Instead these women get rude, function like they don`t have a family, neglect the welfare of their husbands and homes and go running after the dollars.

humilitypays:
But let's be honest for once and tell our Naija sisters the bitter truth- our naija sisters aren't so cool to be honest! Now, ask me why and how?

95% or more of Nigerian guys who migrated to abroad (USA, UK, Canada, Germany, Spain, France, etc) usually come back home to pick up ladies with nothing....most of these Nigerian men spend their hard-earned money to bring these Nigerian ladies abroad, train these ladies in school abroad...and give them honour back home...but once these women start making money abroad, they tear eye and turn against these men that laboured to bring them from Nigeria (most times from poor family background and sufferings); God is watching o.


Now, we also have plenty single Nigerian ladies abroad, but these Nigerian ladies abroad will never come back home to marry single Nigerian guys in Nigeria and help take these guys abroad...these single Nigerian ladies abroad will never agree to marry Nigerian guys living abroad without papers, instead they date and marry only rich Nigerians living abroad and those from reputable family background.

But our guys abroad do come home to marry our ladies and help them become permanent residents and citizens...but our ladies abroad will never come home to marry our guys back home to help them become citizen, instead they keep running around searching for Nigerian guys from rich family background or secured well-paying job to marry.

Pls why is Nigerian ladies this heartless

Go to London, a Nigerian guy who isn't from a rich family back home finds it almost impossible to get a Nigerian girl to date talkless of to marry...same in United States, Canada, etc.

Nigerian ladies, pls change for good...mother nature isn't happy...all these quest for money and material wealth won't take us anywhere...let's start thinking twice for the good of our nation!

Fhemmmy:
Lol . . . Ladies are created to handle things better than men, we handle things with our 3rd legs, but woman think through things and do the best, now, not all ladies with boobs and the other things is a woman. . . . But at the end of the day, nothing better than having a good woman in the home, no wonder God says, better for a man to leave on the roof top than to reside under same roof with a nagging woman . . . But i am still for my Nigerian sister any day oh . . . they rock

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
if the kids complain and she choses to keep them from me on the pretense that she knows what is right for them there is nothing they or i can do.

cococandy:
All this you're saying is based on the mindset that the person leaving is the woman.

I hope you know it goes both ways. The man might want to leave the marriage because it is no longer working.

In the case where the man was the stay home parent and the wife was the bread winner based on their agreement, you think it is fair for him to leave with nothing because he didn't make the money? Even when it was his sacrifices that enabled the wife to have the conducive environment to go bread winning.?

If his wife is abusive and a danger to him, you would think it fair that the judge tell him to stay in the marriage if he wants to maintain that standard of living?

Until you guys remove the cotton wool of gender bias from your eyes and look at the situation if it was reversed, you won't see how fair it is.

Fhemmmy:
Wonderful nollywood scripts, looks like some of those movies with Jim iyke and Omotola . . . Lol . . . But let us analyze this:
Your friend was a virgin and had no girlfriend prior to the babe from yankee? I am sure he does, but your friend see the babe as ticket to better ground . . thus his willingness to marry her by fire by force, same with ladies, no one wanna associate with poverty anymore and that is what i have been saying all along, and there is nothing wrong in that.

Now go back to your friend, nice that he got to yankee and have his head placed well, but the point is how many of your friends do we have out there, many of the men will get to yankee and see cuter babes and akata babes and leave the woman that brought him, that is why MOST of the Nigerian sister wont wanna bring a man from Nigeria.

freecocoa:
Okay, that's a relief, that means there's still hope for the Nigerian woman.

satura:
Only reinforces what I've known for a long time. 99.9% of Nigerian men CANNOT live happily with a confident woman.

fredoooooo:
they are the best in the world , others are just compliments .

AreaFada2:
.

The problem is we look down on our tradition. Luckily enough it's all there for anyone curious enough to know.

It doesn't make him feel dead, it KILLS him. There is a case going on right now. A young man suddenly got seriously ill on returning from visiting his wife in 9ja.

Even the best medical docs in Europe can find no reason for his illness. Meanwhile he's in hospital for months now. I have gone to see him and examined him too. All parameters seem ok. But he can't eat or get up from bed.

The wife, a Christian never believed when her in-laws warned her about her suspicious ways.
She thought she could mess around anyhow, under guise of born again.

Let me tell you how they say it works. It's not magun style.

A woman commits adultery. The man is safe if she doesn't cook for the man or sleep with him. That is, no wifely role towards him. If she does, problem.

Look, I spent over a decade having clinical evidence & empiricism drilled into my head. But there are things we see that confound science. One can believe it or leave it.

raumdeuter:
Even if its a man benefitting, I would never support leeching off another womans sweat. I would look at such a man with disgust.

Imagine the man at home, the woman working after a while he says he wants to divorce and take half the womans labour away because he stayed at home to look after his own kids ?

One day when someone brings such a story here, I wonder what people would say about it

raumdeuter:
I know a guy who is trying to divorce his wife of 10yrs, they didnt have any child together. they have been separated for 4yrs within which the wife got pregnant for another guy

The woman claims she doesnt know the father of the baby, that they just met at an outing and had a quickie

DNA has proven the husband isnt the father but the judge insist that since the child was born within that marriage regardless of DNA he should pay the child support


He hasnt proceeded with the divorce, In that case freecocoa that an example of how twisted the law can be

Fhemmmy:
Lol . . . Ladies are created to handle things better than men, we handle things with our 3rd legs, but woman think through things and do the best, now, not all ladies with boobs and the other things is a woman. . . . But at the end of the day, nothing better than having a good woman in the home, no wonder God says, better for a man to leave on the roof top than to reside under same roof with a nagging woman . . . But i am still for my Nigerian sister any day oh . . . they rock

pickabeau1:
Some of these type of ladies are here on nairaland

humilitypays:
The latest news now is that majority of Naija single ladies living abroad (especially in USA, UK, Canada, etc) are turning to lesbians out frustration after several failed dates with guys

cococandy:
Some people have peculiar cases that require one parent to be home .
Granted that I will always root for both parents being financially responsible for the home(to me that's the most ideal arrangement),but it is not my place to tell them how to live.
So I won't look at such a couple with disgust.
FYI, it happens ok. And the man in such a case will get the house too if he's been the one most available for the kids.
The woman didn't work for it alone. His contribution to the home was part of the work too.

humilitypays:
they should better open their eyes. Some of the Nigerian guys at home they are looking down on or seeing as below their class just because they happen to live abroad are rare gems with great talents being murdered by our harsh national economy and once such guys make it abroad; they will make great impact and may become the next talk of the town in years to come.

Money is good; we all love money but how we pursue it or perceive it matters and also determines our life's happiness and fulfillment.

Our ladies need more orientation sha...I know its not entirely their fault...but they need to start making more positive efforts so we all can live a happy, fulfilling life while here on earth

raumdeuter:
If for any reason your man divorces after taking half your wealth and later told you that you need to pay him to maintain the lifestyle you introduced him to while he was still living with you.

I'm sure we wouldnt be saying the same thing

cococandy:
i still don't get the phrase 'men losing all they worked for'
It is a lie. Only in Nigeria (nairaland to be precise ) does one hear it.

Property is shared equitably.
The man worked
The woman worked
In whatever ways they deemed appropriate at the time.

Then when they have problems
They want to divorce and their props are shared fifty-fifty or in the appropriate ratio depending on their case peculiarities.

Where does the man get off to feeling cheated?

All he worked for as in? The woman didn't do anything all their married life? She didn't bring money? She didn't keep the home front ? She didn't take care of the family and kids? Something you can't equate to money.

Yet somehow this man worked for it all his life and the wife just sat down in one corner and stared?

Why do they like to hype their contributions as if the wife didn't do anything to improve the marriage? Even the ones that have not paid 5yrs out of their mortgage wil be claiming 'all they worked for'

Rolls eye . Mtchew

Pls the law is not sentimental nor patriarchal.
It doesn't understimate the woman's efforts like our naija system does.

And most importantly it considers the kids first before the two adults who need to get their act together.

Hence the parent who is always available for the kids will the house because the house belongs to the kids. It is their birth right.usually it is the mothers but I've seen cases where the man got the house because he was able to prove that he has always been more available for the kids.
But mostly in general the house is split 50-50 with one party buying out the other.

No law is out to favor any gender.

Our naija brothers are so used to female suppression that fairness seems like unfairness to them.

cococandy:
Some people have peculiar cases that require one parent to be home .
Granted that I will always root for both parents being financially responsible for the home(to me that's the most ideal arrangement),but it is not my place to tell them how to live.

So I won't look at such a couple with disgust.

FYI, it happens ok. And the man in such a case will get the house too if he's been the one most available for the kids.

The woman didn't work for it alone. His contribution to the home was part of the work too.