blaizze:
I need advice on how to break up wit out problems I have tried everything I can but non see to working. I tried ignoring, tried discussing with him but he always gives a 'good' reason y we should continue the relationship.

I cant continue being with someone who is so petty. I initially thought that the problem was from me but now I know otherwise. He doesn't want me to have male friends, very controlling. I have tried sitting down to discuss things with him but it's not just working out.

Just this evening I stopped to greet a male customer and he just started shouting saying he will start keeping female friends too n whatever happens I should just take it like that and that it will only lead to break up. I tried to explain and calm him down to no avail so I allowed him to continue boiling, lol.

when he finished ranting, I went to him and told him that there's no need to be scared and that I will never do anything to hurt him. The dude just said "now that u are having male friends when u go for nysc u may start sleeping around". I just left him and didn't reply.

so when we were going back home (he was actually walking me back to my house) he was still talking about it n I told him that I don't have the strength to quarrel and if he doesn't want to let the matter slide he better start goin to his house. He left n I had a peaceful walk home. When i got home I called to find out if he hadn't gotten home and he told me not to call him again. I jejely ended d call, I don't have airtime to waste.

This is what happens Weneva he sees a guys nota me on my phone book or watsapp. even facebook messages sef he will still want to check. He it's always paranoid. God knows I have never cheated on him before. Once he told me that if I get pregnant he will go for a dnt test o cos he doesn't trust me.

He found it really difficult to introduce me to anybody in his family until last year when we had a serious problem.

He is not as bad person though. Some other chic may be able to endure all those things but not me. I cant be giving explanations about things that shouldn't be explained.

I have done everything within my power to make it work but it just isn't working out. We argue everything week and if St's really exhausting. I am really tired of the relationship. and want to know if there's anything else I can do.
And i want advice on how to make someone believe you actually want break up. am a soft hearted person and always ready to please people as long as it's within my power.

I believe you don't live together.It's not so hard to quit.Stop picking his calls and avoid seeing him.Tell him in clear terms that it is over.
This guy is no good for you.

I have enjoying a grt tym wit dis tread I learn alot from al of u God bless u al 4 taking ur tym 2 give counsel 2 we d intending bride by Gods grace my traditional wedding would b taking place in july I pray 2 God 2 give me a long lasting swt & loving memories wit my husband he is indeed a very nice person dat has d fear of God bt there r 2 issues we have nt discussed thoroughly which is giving me cos 4 concern no1 he strictly believe in no sex b4 marriage which I love too bt how 1 knw if a man is ok or impotent den secondly issue of finances hw do I raise question about it without making him feel am nt only interested in his money though he believe it is d responsibility of a man 2 take care of his wife & he always tell he would like me 2 b a good economist can a man tell his wife how much he is earning & wives can u ask ur husband

blaizze:
@babyosisi: He is 24 and am 20. He always complain about my size that I should add weight and stop looking like a child. I look really young for my age. Most people don't believe am up to 20. He is looks little older than his age so people always feel am his younger sister. I'm not thin or too tiny, I'm not even tiny sef. I told him once that I didn't ask him to look older than his age, lol.

@efemenaxy: The relationship isn't bad when are happy but disagree on so many things which makes us argue most times. I just feel we are not compatible.


@cococandy:the control and insecurities is just too much abeg. If I make a call in his presence he will 'stylishly' collect my fone to see who is just called.
I got in contact with an old neighbour last year n we started chatting on watsapp. Wen he checked my chats with the guy, he blinded his eyes to the part where the guy asked if I had a boyfriend and I said yes. He only noticed the part where the guy said he has being wishing to see me since we moved and I didn't let him n how he will like to see moved in school. my bf said that I had something to do with the guy that the chat doesn't look as if I was just friends with him (my former neighbour).
The pressure is just too much. He even downloaded one call recorder like that.

If he wants to dump me let him just do It already. i really don't mind. This guy is my first boyfriend. i keep asking him if there's anything i did to make him not to trust me and he says girls are not to be trusted. hear nonsense.
I just want to be firm and stop him from stalking me when I beak up with him.

so sorry for putting all the replies together. Thanks for your responses.

No one is supposed to talk to or treat another person this way, you shouldn't let anyone walk all over you. Is your boyfriend mentally unstable? He is acting like a crazy person.

Preternatura1:
No one is supposed to talk to or treat another person this way, you shouldn't let anyone walk all over you. Is your boyfriend mentally unstable? He is acting like a crazy person.

But my dear it happens. He is not mentally unstable, he is just a possessive fellow. He isn't crazy at all. It is just his way of controlling to make him feel good about himself. I wonder what he is doing with the girl when he says he doesn't trust women.

The girl will do herself a lot of good if she breaks up with him. At 20, there is still so much to achieve and while doing this you will meet great guys and may end up in marriage. Don't let her mortgage her future for some chocolate boys.

@blaizze

You are a dating a m0ron.Stick with humans not animals.Jump and pass this one o...hian!

I have learned a great deal since coming across this tread, I have been reading all through since over two weeks now. Thanks to you all for your contributions thus far, you have saved a lot of marriages and intending ones. I just came back from canteen and I saw myself eating with caution so I wont make the chakam chakam noise though I don't eat with ma mouth open. Thanks so much Mrs Osisi for this trend and your openness to issues.

I laughed really hard . preternatural, he is not mentally unstable. just like great heart God said, he is just too possessive. I feel his insecurities stems from the fact that he is not yet in the university while am almost graduating. I feels I want someone better. He is a totally independent guy and works for his money and also acquired advanced certificate and diplomas but not a university degree.

We don't live together. I have never even spent a night in his house before. I'm just tired of everything. He knows my house, my mum's shop and almost all my friends. He even knows my mum. whenever I say I want to break up he will start coming to all these places to look for me n start meeting all these people to help him talk to me. and will start making promises to change and all that.

He always says that I have seen someone new that why I wnt to break up with him. Is it a must to be in a relationship. I just want to be alone for now. without all this boyfriend wahala will achieve more.

I will just block his num and stop going out for now(my school is on strike). If I don see him and don't receive any calls I think he will get the message. No point talking to him about it cos it won't work. I just have to be firm.

Thanks for your responses God bless u all.

I need help, i dated this guy for a year now, i found out he was married though he told me he has been separated for the past four years, practically he is still married, i did love him then. but he is some one that does not talk about himself or his family, he told me he has a son but i saw three children in his CV. i dont know anything about his family and i have never met them. people are telling that he is still married which he claim they are lying. now i have met another guy who is serious about me though we are not planning marriage this new guy has never been married before, suddenly the old guy comes up that i he wants to introduce me to his family and this is the same man who has been stalling since. he is not aware that i have met some one else. i really want to give this new guy a chance, i really dont want to be a second wife no matter if i love the person. it doesnt sit well with me having step child/ren. what should i do. the more i try to pull away from him the closer he wants to be. i dont want to hurt him or part in a harsh way, pls help.

goodheart4God:

But my dear it happens. He is not mentally unstable, he is just a possessive fellow. He isn't crazy at all. It is just his way of controlling to make him feel good about himself. I wonder what he is doing with the girl when he says he doesn't trust women.

The girl will do herself a lot of good if she breaks up with him. At 20, there is still so much to achieve and while doing this you will meet great guys and may end up in marriage. Don't let her mortgage her future for some chocolate boys.

Yea, I get that, but that's some sort of personality disorder right there. Possessive personality disorder to be precise.

blaizze:
I laughed really hard . preternatural, he is not mentally unstable. just like great heart God said, he is just too possessive. I feel his insecurities stems from the fact that he is not yet in the university while am almost graduating. I feels I want someone better. He is a totally independent guy and works for his money and also acquired advanced certificate and diplomas but not a university degree.

We don't live together. I have never even spent a night in his house before. I'm just tired of everything. He knows my house, my mum's shop and almost all my friends. He even knows my mum. whenever I say I want to break up he will start coming to all these places to look for me n start meeting all these people to help him talk to me. and will start making promises to change and all that.

He always says that I have seen someone new that why I wnt to break up with him. Is it a must to be in a relationship. I just want to be alone for now. without all this boyfriend wahala will achieve more.

I will just block his num and stop going out for now(my school is on strike). If I don see him and don't receive any calls I think he will get the message. No point talking to him about it cos it won't work. I just have to be firm.

Thanks for your responses God bless u all.

wow! I was certain he has a personality disorder.

The signs are all over your posts, he even stalks you, that's creepy, and you have to not go out because of this?

He needs counseling, you should talk to him about seeing someone, even if you succeed in freeing yourself from him, he is just going to do it to someone else, that's if he doesn't try to hurt you or himself, he can be helped.

ekolina:
I have learned a great deal since coming across this tread, I have been reading all through since over two weeks now. Thanks to you all for your contributions thus far, you have saved a lot of marriages and intending ones. I just came back from canteen and I saw myself eating with caution so I wont make the chakam chakam noise though I don't eat with ma mouth open. Thanks so much Mrs Osisi for this trend and your openness to issues.

.. nice

nwahmummy:
I need help, i dated this guy for a year now, i found out he was married [/b]though he told me [b]he has been separated for the past four years, practically he is still married, i did love him then. but he is some one that does talk about himself or his family, he told me he has a son but i saw three children in his CV. i dont know anything about his family and i have never met them. people are telling that he is still married which he claim they are lying. now i have met another guy who is serious about me though we are not planning marriage this new guy has never been married before, suddenly the old guy comes up that i he wants to introduce me to his family and this is the same man who has been stalling since. he is not aware that i have met some one else. i really want to give this new guy a chance, i really dont want to be a second wife no matter if i love the person. it doesnt sit well with me having step child/ren. what should i do. the more i try to pull away from him the closer he wants to be. i dont want to hurt him or part in a harsh way, pls help.

How sure are you he's been separated for four years?? hope no be person husband you dey date?

Nevertheless, to me this is no hard choice... there are so many guys out there to settle for second hand... Besides, he's a liar too? how do you plan to cope? It's hard living with a liar because even his goodmorning may be a lie...

This i must confess is a wonderful thread, and i must say it has really engineered me to become a stronger man emotionally. Below are the excerpts i digested from the 46 pages i could read, and i think i should share them with u all. The meanings might be quite relative. Enjoy!

'you have to die to self and the flesh to succeed in marriage' by djon78
'marriage is tough especially the early years and there will be times you will feel like packing your bags and running' by babyosisi
'when hard marital current strikes, sometimes the sexual chemistry is what will take you over the hump, and if its lacking from day one, you may be swimming against the tide.' by babyosisi
'when one day does not go well or you are tired, tommorrow is a new day with new chances. If you aim for 100 and you get 50 you have something, but if you aim for zero and you get zero, you get nothing.' By mutter
'when we as humans hit rock bottom, the only way forward is up' by efemenaXY
unless you fight u cannot be a winner. By moca
singles in courtship waste time on irrelevancies instead of fprobing and addressing important things only to end up getting married and finding out it wont work, at the end the innocent children suffer. By Forexmarts

^Good student!

Idowuogbo:
^Good student!

You see you abi? I hate you right now.

[b][/b]

freecocoa:
You see you abi? I hate you right now.

girl, no fighting in class na... i will report you to senior cococandy o

This thread can speed o.

If after going through this thread and you still can't get your marriage to work, then not even God, Satan and their angels combined can help you, damn! These women are something else, I wonder how wise Solomon must have been to be the wisest ever(even though I dey use one eye dey look bible stories sha ), you guys rock, I can't help but say I love you all.

Idowuogbo:
[b][/b]
girl, no fighting in class na... i will report you to senior cococandy o

Seriously? That's all you can say? I will tear your bra here walai.

Agbero

Btw, I see a serious ajebo on this thread.

Personality disorder ke.

The average Naija people go believe that one?

The only counselling he's likely to get na serious deliverance sessions for mfm or cele.

freecocoa:
This thread can speed o.

If after going through this thread and you still can't get your marriage to work, then not even God, Satan and their angels combined can help you, damn! These women are something else, I wonder how wise Solomon must have been to be the wisest ever(even though I dey use one eye dey look bible stories sha ), you guys rock, I can't help but say I love you all.

walaaaaaai

Idowuogbo:
Agbero

I miss you girlfriend, it's not fair for reals, where's the love na?

freecocoa:
I miss you girlfriend, it's not fair for reals, where's the love na?

Oya chop it

I'll buzz you later

Idowuogbo:

Oya chop it

I'll buzz you later

Okay dear.

That robotic thing wey dey ban people don ban freecocoalario.

blaizze:
I need advice on how to break up wit out problems I have tried everything I can but non see to working. I tried ignoring, tried discussing with him but he always gives a 'good' reason y we should continue the relationship.

I cant continue being with someone who is so petty. I initially thought that the problem was from me but now I know otherwise. He doesn't want me to have male friends, very controlling. I have tried sitting down to discuss things with him but it's not just working out.

Just this evening I stopped to greet a male customer and he just started shouting saying he will start keeping female friends too n whatever happens I should just take it like that and that it will only lead to break up. I tried to explain and calm him down to no avail so I allowed him to continue boiling, lol.

when he finished ranting, I went to him and told him that there's no need to be scared and that I will never do anything to hurt him. The dude just said "now that u are having male friends when u go for nysc u may start sleeping around". I just left him and didn't reply.

so when we were going back home (he was actually walking me back to my house) he was still talking about it n I told him that I don't have the strength to quarrel and if he doesn't want to let the matter slide he better start goin to his house. He left n I had a peaceful walk home. When i got home I called to find out if he hadn't gotten home and he told me not to call him again. I jejely ended d call, I don't have airtime to waste.

This is what happens Weneva he sees a guys nota me on my phone book or watsapp. even facebook messages sef he will still want to check. He it's always paranoid. God knows I have never cheated on him before. Once he told me that if I get pregnant he will go for a dnt test o cos he doesn't trust me.

He found it really difficult to introduce me to anybody in his family until last year when we had a serious problem.

He is not as bad person though. Some other chic may be able to endure all those things but not me. I cant be giving explanations about things that shouldn't be explained.

I have done everything within my power to make it work but it just isn't working out. We argue everything week and if St's really exhausting. I am really tired of the relationship. and want to know if there's anything else I can do.
And i want advice on how to make someone believe you actually want break up. am a soft hearted person and always ready to please people as long as it's within my power.

cc:babyosisi
chair cover
cococandy

Please I beg you, continue to run for your life like you say you would.

Your bf is emotionally abusive, it's only a matter of time before he becomes physical, give Usain Bolt a run for his money biko.

nwahmummy:
I need help, i dated this guy for a year now, i found out he was married though he told me he has been separated for the past four years, practically he is still married, i did love him then. but he is some one that does not talk about himself or his family, he told me he has a son but i saw three children in his CV. i dont know anything about his family and i have never met them. people are telling that he is still married which he claim they are lying. now i have met another guy who is serious about me though we are not planning marriage this new guy has never been married before, suddenly the old guy comes up that i he wants to introduce me to his family and this is the same man who has been stalling since. he is not aware that i have met some one else. i really want to give this new guy a chance, i really dont want to be a second wife no matter if i love the person. it doesnt sit well with me having step child/ren. what should i do. the more i try to pull away from him the closer he wants to be. i dont want to hurt him or part in a harsh way, pls help.

You dnt want to hurt him or part in a harsh way bla bla bla kwa. That sounds like you are begining to like this man inspite of all the red flags you are seeing already. How do you women do it? There is no way you would let someone go wihtout hurting the person. Whatever he would feel should not be any of your business or worry. Its not rocket science dear. He is very MARRIED. perhaps he is one of those men working in one state and living like a single man while his family are elsewhere. You know what you want, dnt you? This man dey hold you for neck? NO. so let this man go. Its not hard.focus on other men coming for you and shine your eyes well well.

blaizze:
I need advice on how to break up wit out problems I have tried everything I can but non see to working. I tried ignoring, tried discussing with him but he always gives a 'good' reason y we should continue the relationship.

I cant continue being with someone who is so petty. I initially thought that the problem was from me but now I know otherwise. He doesn't want me to have male friends, very controlling. I have tried sitting down to discuss things with him but it's not just working out.

Just this evening I stopped to greet a male customer and he just started shouting saying he will start keeping female friends too n whatever happens I should just take it like that and that it will only lead to break up. I tried to explain and calm him down to no avail so I allowed him to continue boiling, lol.

when he finished ranting, I went to him and told him that there's no need to be scared and that I will never do anything to hurt him. The dude just said "now that u are having male friends when u go for nysc u may start sleeping around". I just left him and didn't reply.

so when we were going back home (he was actually walking me back to my house) he was still talking about it n I told him that I don't have the strength to quarrel and if he doesn't want to let the matter slide he better start goin to his house. He left n I had a peaceful walk home. When i got home I called to find out if he hadn't gotten home and he told me not to call him again. I jejely ended d call, I don't have airtime to waste.

This is what happens Weneva he sees a guys nota me on my phone book or watsapp. even facebook messages sef he will still want to check. He it's always paranoid. God knows I have never cheated on him before. Once he told me that if I get pregnant he will go for a dnt test o cos he doesn't trust me.

He found it really difficult to introduce me to anybody in his family until last year when we had a serious problem.

He is not as bad person though. Some other chic may be able to endure all those things but not me. I cant be giving explanations about things that shouldn't be explained.

I have done everything within my power to make it work but it just isn't working out. We argue everything week and if St's really exhausting. I am really tired of the relationship. and want to know if there's anything else I can do.
And i want advice on how to make someone believe you actually want break up. am a soft hearted person and always ready to please people as long as it's within my power.

cc:babyosisi
chair cover
cococandy

Blaizey blaize, you better run for your life! This isnt love. This is prison. I smell abuse coming from this guy. If you really wanna break up and make it believeable, all you have to do is avoid him at all cost. You already know what avoiding at all cost means. His type always go for your kind; Soft hearted women. Since this is your nature, try not to allow people override or control you. Avoid controlling men completely so you dnt keep ending up with his type repeatedly.

personality disorder ke, maybe maybe not but u can make someone change unless they want to right. I got an app that blocks calls so I his calls today. I really want to be free abeg. The whole constant argument can drain ones energy I swear. I'm just going to keep avoiding.

blaizze:
@babyosisi: He is 24 and am 20. He always complain about my size that I should add weight and stop looking like a child. I look really young for my age. Most people don't believe am up to 20. He is looks little older than his age so people always feel am his younger sister. I'm not thin or too tiny, I'm not even tiny sef. I told him once that I didn't ask him to look older than his age, lol.

@efemenaxy: The relationship isn't bad when are happy but disagree on so many things which makes us argue most times. I just feel we are not compatible.


@cococandy:the control and insecurities is just too much abeg. If I make a call in his presence he will 'stylishly' collect my fone to see who is just called.
I got in contact with an old neighbour last year n we started chatting on watsapp. Wen he checked my chats with the guy, he blinded his eyes to the part where the guy asked if I had a boyfriend and I said yes. He only noticed the part where the guy said he has being wishing to see me since we moved and I didn't let him n how he will like to see moved in school. my bf said that I had something to do with the guy that the chat doesn't look as if I was just friends with him (my former neighbour).
The pressure is just too much. He even downloaded one call recorder like that.

If he wants to dump me let him just do It already. i really don't mind. This guy is my first boyfriend. i keep asking him if there's anything i did to make him not to trust me and he says girls are not to be trusted. hear nonsense.
I just want to be firm and stop him from stalking me when I beak up with him.

so sorry for putting all the replies together. Thanks for your responses.

My thread was geared towards marriages or those leading to marriages and I doubt if your relationship would lead to that
You are only 20
I don't fault this young man too much,he is only 24
He has a lot of maturing to do so I see this as a factor of his age and immaturity
One thing you can learn from this and this thread is who not to be with especially when marriage comes

Ok

^You need his permission for visits? Mehn I seeing things ee....wow! WO OOOW! !!

Idowuogbo:
^You need his permission for visits? Mehn I seeing things ee....wow! WO OOOW! !!

Yes. I know him for over 3years now, but we started dating some months ago. He moved to another state and I haven't gone to visit him there yet.