₦airaland Forum

TooNoisy:
Amen o. May God bless you.

As I have asked before, how come it is only the husband's mother that is always bad. The wife's mother is an angel and will do no wrong. They set strict boundaries for the husband's mother but give their own mother free reign when she comes around.

Mothers-in-law are calm in their daughters' homes. In fact, they join her in 'worshipping' her husband because they want her to stay married.

In their sons' homes, some believe the house is theirs and are bosses in their own right. It is not the same o. at all.

greatgod2012:
Good day my fellow forumites. It's been a while opening thread on this forum. Happy sunday to us all.


This thread was borne out of a quarrel between a couple i tried to settle two days ago.
A colleague of mine approached me for advice on what is happening in her marriage, and at the end of narrating her ordeal, i pointed her fault to her as being the architech of her problems. I deduced that the bone of contention is that each time there is disagreement, he would ask her husband to choose between her and and his mother, and as it is expected, the man would choose his mother, and yawa go gas!

Please, my fellow women and wives (though some men are guilty of this too, but it's more rampant with women), let's stop this nonsense, let's stop asking silly questions, if there is an issue between you and your spouse, communicate with maturity, without raising voice, without setiments and without blackmail and most importantly, without silly questions such as, "then, you will have to choose between me and your mother" it's childish, silly, disrespectful and out of security and envy.
Let me tell us, no sane man will choose his wife over his mother, because the wife was not there when his mother conceived him, gave birth to him, breasfed him, trained him, have so many sleepless nighs because of him, sent him to school to become who he is now for you to see, admire and marry. No wife was there when the mother was washing the man's dirty clothes, even using bare hands to wash faeces with which he soiled himself, when the mother spent days in hospital when sick to make sure the man is in good health and shape. No wife was there when the mother wakes in the middle of the night to talk and advise his son on ways of life, on how to be a good child to her parents, a good person in the society, a good employee to his employer, a good employer to his employees, a good father to his children and a good husband to his wife. Now, it's the mother that the wife is now waging war against. Nooooo wayyyyyy.
Honestly, i don't know reason why there is usually rancour between DILs and MILs, if for anything, these old women deserves our respect, appreciation and to be made happy, at least for making these our husbands marriageable, abi, if they were not born, can we get married to them.

So, my fellow women, if you don't want to sadden yourself, stop asking your men to choose between you and his mother, because he would definately choose his mother. And for those who usually say, "then let him take his mother to bed", abeg, everything is not only about bed in marriage. For those who will say, "then let his mother prepare him food, remember, he has been eating his mother's food before meeting and marrying you. For those who will say, "then, let his mother bare him children", remember, the children are not only his, they're yours as well.

Let all DILs remember that they are also potential MILs and that whatever they sow as a DIL, they will reap them when they also become MIL.
Let us cultivate the habit of loving our MILs, appreciate them and stop unnecessary rivalry with them. Many of them are becoming old already, so, we need to remember that old age usually make someone to be eccentric. So, let' treat them as if they are our mother, which i believe they are. Atleast, someone who is old enough to be our spouse' mother is also fit to be our mother.
As for me, i have the most wonderful MIL in the whole world. I cherish her, adore her, love her greatly and i get the best of her, even my husband and his siblings do jealous of me.

Anytime there's a cause for all of us, me, hubby and mama, to be in a car, i open the front door for mama myself to sit, this singular act, i have been criticised of so many times, but, is it not for just one or few days, and i see that she usually love it each time i do that. She rains blessings on me as if there is no other day. I pamper her(but truth be said, she pampers me more).
See, my fellow women, this is a secret, if you want the best from your man, love his mother and you will never regret doing so.
God bless us all.
For those who will condemn this, i think i'm no longer a novice in marriage. This is my 10th year of marriage, and it's just like yesterday, we're just starting anyway, and everyday of our marriage has always been better than the previous day.

This also goes to the men who usually asks their wives to choose between them and their mothers.

P. S
DIL....daughter-in-law.
MIL....mother-in-law.

God bless us all.

Nice thread but next time when you're about to introduce an acronym, usually, the self-made ones, first of all spell it out in full, then in bracket, write the acronym.
Example: Daughter-in-law (DIL).
In lieu of how you actually did it.
Then you can start writing the acronym alone since you have already defined it.

Eneze1:
Whether we like it or not no one can like you the way your mum does. Some MILs still believe they still have to control everything that goes on in their son's life after he is married which is not possible. A lot of times most MILs sees their son's wife as a rival and someone that comes to take their place in their son's life which is the major cause of rancour

I disagree with some of your points there. The mother knows the son more than the wife no matter how the wife is close to the husband. Most wives are manipulative and turn their husbands to their switch but the mothers see these things and call their sons to order. They even go as far as warning the women to stop manipulating their sons.

A guy who has a kind of principle of life which the parents have seen and cherished, the woman will come with their manipulative ways and make the man think another way. A man that takes care of his family will start ignoring his parents because she wants money to do some things.

Our mother loves us more than you women can ever do, don't hate, just live with it.

Don't forget, mother's love and prayers keeps us going.

cbrass:
it's still unwise and grossly stupid for any wife to ask that question.. learn to calm down before you speak

Who??

Vickybee:
That's really a dumb question to ask a man. Is he my God that he should choose?

I don't expect any man to love me more than his mother just the way I can't love any guy more than my daddy.

Oh my this cracked me up.

Yadoctora:
Mothers-in-law are calm in their daughters' homes. In fact, they join her in 'worshipping' her husband because they want her to stay married.

In their sons' homes, some believe the house is theirs and are bosses in their own right. It is not the same o. at all.

Thanks

Exactly What I was trying to tell her.

Which mother will go to her daughter's house and bright complaining on how her husband sits in the living room or How he Changes TV stations or How he does not help in chores to his face

Which mother will tell her daughter's husband that 'This is her daughter's house?

How many mother's will complain that their SILs help in the home or join their daughters to cook in the kitchen?

How many mothers will be happy that their sons behave the same way as their SILs?

Funny world.

VickJames:
I disagree with some of your points there. The mother knows the son more than the wife no matter how the wife is close to the husband. Most wives are manipulative and turn their husbands to their switch but the mothers see these things and call their sons to order. They even go as far as warning the women to stop manipulating their sons.

A guy who has a kind of principle of life which the parents have seen and cherished, the woman will come with their manipulative ways and make the man think another way. A man that takes care of his family will start ignoring his parents because she wants money to do some things.

Our mother loves us more than you women can ever do, don't hate, just live with it.

Don't forget, mother's love and prayers keeps us going.

BS! If that's the truth then your mother is equally as manipulative as any wife, therefore deserved any disrespect that came her way from her own in laws . If your paternal grandmother called your mother a fool then would you want your father to stand idly by and agree with her? Don't be ignorant to the true issue here, some mothers get it wrong and cause tension where there need not be. If someone is wrong, why would you praise that? And let's be serious, what would a MIL know about her DIL that her son would not know more of? If you want a sustainable marriage, you've got get real, or don't get married.

greatgod2012:
Good day my fellow forumites. It's been a while opening thread on this forum. Happy sunday to us all.


This thread was borne out of a quarrel between a couple i tried to settle two days ago.
A colleague of mine approached me for advice on what is happening in her marriage, and at the end of narrating her ordeal, i pointed her fault to her as being the architech of her problems. I deduced that the bone of contention is that each time there is disagreement, he would ask her husband to choose between her and and his mother, and as it is expected, the man would choose his mother, and yawa go gas!

Please, my fellow women and wives (though some men are guilty of this too, but it's more rampant with women), let's stop this nonsense, let's stop asking silly questions, if there is an issue between you and your spouse, communicate with maturity, without raising voice, without setiments and without blackmail and most importantly, without silly questions such as, "then, you will have to choose between me and your mother" it's childish, silly, disrespectful and out of security and envy.
Let me tell us, no sane man will choose his wife over his mother, because the wife was not there when his mother conceived him, gave birth to him, breasfed him, trained him, have so many sleepless nighs because of him, sent him to school to become who he is now for you to see, admire and marry. No wife was there when the mother was washing the man's dirty clothes, even using bare hands to wash faeces with which he soiled himself, when the mother spent days in hospital when sick to make sure the man is in good health and shape. No wife was there when the mother wakes in the middle of the night to talk and advise his son on ways of life, on how to be a good child to her parents, a good person in the society, a good employee to his employer, a good employer to his employees, a good father to his children and a good husband to his wife. Now, it's the mother that the wife is now waging war against. Nooooo wayyyyyy.
Honestly, i don't know reason why there is usually rancour between DILs and MILs, if for anything, these old women deserves our respect, appreciation and to be made happy, at least for making these our husbands marriageable, abi, if they were not born, can we get married to them.

So, my fellow women, if you don't want to sadden yourself, stop asking your men to choose between you and his mother, because he would definately choose his mother. And for those who usually say, "then let him take his mother to bed", abeg, everything is not only about bed in marriage. For those who will say, "then let his mother prepare him food, remember, he has been eating his mother's food before meeting and marrying you. For those who will say, "then, let his mother bare him children", remember, the children are not only his, they're yours as well.

Let all DILs remember that they are also potential MILs and that whatever they sow as a DIL, they will reap them when they also become MIL.
Let us cultivate the habit of loving our MILs, appreciate them and stop unnecessary rivalry with them. Many of them are becoming old already, so, we need to remember that old age usually make someone to be eccentric. So, let' treat them as if they are our mother, which i believe they are. Atleast, someone who is old enough to be our spouse' mother is also fit to be our mother.
As for me, i have the most wonderful MIL in the whole world. I cherish her, adore her, love her greatly and i get the best of her, even my husband and his siblings do jealous of me.

Anytime there's a cause for all of us, me, hubby and mama, to be in a car, i open the front door for mama myself to sit, this singular act, i have been criticised of so many times, but, is it not for just one or few days, and i see that she usually love it each time i do that. She rains blessings on me as if there is no other day. I pamper her(but truth be said, she pampers me more).
See, my fellow women, this is a secret, if you want the best from your man, love his mother and you will never regret doing so.
God bless us all.
For those who will condemn this, i think i'm no longer a novice in marriage. This is my 10th year of marriage, and it's just like yesterday, we're just starting anyway, and everyday of our marriage has always been better than the previous day.

This also goes to the men who usually asks their wives to choose between them and their mothers.

P. S
DIL....daughter-in-law.
MIL....mother-in-law.

God bless us all.

Sometimes this happens when the man misses an opportunity to handle it. Dont get me wrong there are bad mouthed wives, but it behoves on the man to see the build-up in the friction between his mother and wife, and that is when he can handle the situation. The man should remember he is the nexus between both people, and that friction will occur when there are more than one woman in a home. Thus he must be observant and handle any potential conflict when it raises its head.

VickJames:
I disagree with some of your points there. The mother knows the son more than the wife no matter how the wife is close to the husband. Most wives are manipulative and turn their husbands to their switch but the mothers see these things and call their sons to order. They even go as far as warning the women to stop manipulating their sons.

A guy who has a kind of principle of life which the parents have seen and cherished, the woman will come with their manipulative ways and make the man think another way. A man that takes care of his family will start ignoring his parents because she wants money to do some things.

Our mother loves us more than you women can ever do, don't hate, just live with it.

Don't forget, mother's love and prayers keeps us going.

A mother who has the time to 'save' her son from his wife's 'manipulations' all the time has a terrible relationship with her husband.

And I would believe the manipulation nonsense If the same mother can warn her daughter to stop manipulating her son in law

Pray your mother has a loving relationship with your dad and she has stuffs going for her and let's see If she has time for deliverance.

Your here is not personal.

greatgod2012:
thanks and God bless you too.


See in some exceptional cases, where the mother was highly irresponsible and all the man had was his wife before the mother comes to beg his son for forgiveness. The man may prefer the wife to his mother, but i still maintain that the question should not be asked by the woman. And also, if the man's action confirms that the man prefer his wife t his mother, the wife should be careful not to be carried away with the euphoria, because, table can turn around o.
It is well.

op what's your fears, you seem to put up a defensive frontal...i believe in oneness in marriage, i would not see my wife as her but as me and as sure all i would do is all that would please me as her so there would be no need to be careful as suppose to her position in my heart. In the light of this my wife would only treat my mom exactly as i would...understanding and love is all that matters...i wouldn't choose my wife over my mom as surely as i would not my mom against my wife. The two is the completeness of my joy so why would i dice them...

Flytefalls:
BS! If that's the truth then your mother is equally as manipulative as any wife, therefore deserved any disrespect that came her way from her own in laws . If your paternal grandmother called your mother a fool then would you want your father to stand idly by and agree with her? Don't be ignorant to the true issue here, some mothers get it wrong and cause tension where there need not be. If someone is wrong, why would you praise that? And let's be serious, what would a MIL know about her DIL that her son would not know more of? If you want a sustainable marriage, you've got get real, or don't get married.

I just laugh you. You didn't raise any point here. If you really respect the mother and son bound, you won't interfere with what the mother tells her son. Whether you like it or not, you can't change it and the son can't help you in this. What are you offering to the man that another person can't offer that you're looking for a higher place than the mother?

If you listen to the story of how mothers train their children, you women won't come here to cry foul. All your responsibilities in the home can be taken care of by a paid maid. So?

When men get married, what they hold strong start changing. They start thinking like women. The women will smile in the sitting and shout in the room. Confusing a healthy working man. He'll be so confused when he goes out and always find solace in his mum arms who understands him and knows how to quell his anger.

Why can't you women try to know these MILs before marrying the man. After marriage, the MIL is now wicked and a witch. Stop hiding your bad behaviour like you just showed by calling my mother manipulative.

Please don't say that again. Thanks

Shollypopzz:
Who??

the wive

cbrass:
the wive

*wife.......Okay.

bukatyne:
A mother who has the time to 'save' her son from his wife's 'manipulations' all the time has a terrible relationship with her husband.

And I would believe the manipulation nonsense If the same mother can warn her daughter to stop manipulating her son in law

Pray your mother has a loving relationship with your dad and she has stuffs going for her and let's see If she has time for deliverance.

Your here is not personal.

Be calm please, my mum had the best relationship with my dad his family. To the extent that whenever my dad travels to the village, they all ask of her as if she's the one they're missing.

These mothers you girls are crying hell about were once good when you were dating the man. Or you girls didn't take time to know them when you were dating the man?

You girls want to be the all and all in a man's life when you know he came from a family.

When your son gets married, leave him to his fate.

VickJames:
Be calm please, my mum had the best relationship with my dad his family. To the extent that whenever my dad travels to the village, they all ask of her as if she's the one they're missing.

These mothers you girls are crying hell about were once good when you were dating the man. Or you girls didn't take time to know them when you were dating the man?

You girls want to be the all and all in a man's life when you know he came from a family.

When your son gets married, leave him to his fate.

I am calm mister

Who should be the all in all in a man's life if not his wife and vice versa

Would you be happy your wife has placed her father or mother above you?

Why should the mother wait till after marriage before she starts her saviourship skills? What was she looking at before the marriage? Or she was not There when the officiating minister said everyone should talk now or forever hold their peace?

And I hope the salvation extends to her daughter or does she want to leave the daughter to her fate?

Shollypopzz:
*wife.......Okay.

who were you thinking before

ladygogo:
@greatgod2012. I understand the essence of your post but I think you are viewing the world through rose colored glasses. We arent all lucky to have a pleasant MIL like yours.

That said, I believe both MIL and DIL deserve respect and shouldnt be expected from one party.

@babyosisi. well said.

Thank you very much.
Some people just because they weren't unfortunate like most other wives who found themselves dealing with MIL & SILs who bully, intimidate, scheme & manipulate them & everything, act as if MIL issue is only a folk tale for problematic wives!

VickJames:
I just laugh you. You didn't raise any point here. If you really respect the mother and son bound, you won't interfere with what the mother tells her son. Whether you like it or not, you can't change it and the son can't help you in this. What are you offering to the man that another person can't offer that you're looking for a higher place than the mother?

If you listen to the story of how mothers train their children, you women won't come here to cry foul. All your responsibilities in the home can be taken care of by a paid maid. So?

When men get married, what they hold strong start changing. They start thinking like women. The women will smile in the sitting and shout in the room. Confusing a healthy working man. He'll be so confused when he goes out and always find solace in his mum arms who understands him and knows how to quell his anger.

Why can't you women try to know these MILs before marrying the man. After marriage, the MIL is now wicked and a witch. Stop hiding your bad behaviour like you just showed by calling my mother manipulative.

Please don't say that again. Thanks

Feel free to laugh but it doesn't change a thing. When you choose to marry, you accept the fact your wife now holds importance, do not brush her aside because your mother, or father, tells you to do so. Did your parents intentionally plan to raise a robot? I doubt it.

Your mother is someone's daughter, who became a wife, then a mother. Don't get emotional about it, this is the way things are. If you call all DIL's manipulative, then your mother is not exempt from that judgement. When you speak of wives, you are speaking of your own mother. When you speak of mothers, you are speaking of your own wife. Don't marry unless u understand that we are all prone to misjudgment and mistakes. No one is exempt, not even any mother, not even any wife.

bukatyne:
I am calm mister

Who should be the all in all in a man's life if not his wife and vice versa

Would you be happy your wife has placed her father or mother above you?

Why should the mother wait till after marriage before she starts her saviourship skills? What was she looking at before the marriage? Or she was not There when the officiating minister said everyone should talk now or forever hold their peace?

And I hope the salvation extends to her daughter or does she want to leave the daughter to her fate?

First of, you didn't meet the man as an island and you can't come and claim him as if he is all yours. He has a family and has a responsibility to them and the family has a responsibility to him. If her mother sees something wrong in his son's life, she'll say it because you don't expect a mother to see something wrong and keep her mouth shut. No way!

DILs hate to be corrected and the MILs will correct you whenever you're wrong. Some DILs will cook meals for their husbands late and expect the mother not to be angry. She'll talk.

Some DILs will tell their husbands to stop some thing he is doing for his family and when the MIL finds out she'll talk. How do expect a mother a keep quiet when her son stops caring for him just because he has a fat woman at home he calls his wife. No way! Mother will talk.

Some DILs have seen the bound in the family of the husband. She is afraid that the man will be that close to her like he is to the family, she'll start poisoning the man's heart. Trust mothers, they'll talk!

Yes, her daughter has gotten enough teachings from the mother. Mother has taught daughter to know the MIL well enough to be able to avoid problems with the MIL.

The main reasons why most ladies have problems with MILs is that they don't take their time to get to know the MILs before running into marriage. Thinking marriage is all about me and my husband alone. Madam, you are on your own when u think like that.

Flytefalls:
Feel free to laugh but it doesn't change a thing. When you choose to marry, you accept the fact your wife now holds importance, do not brush her aside because your mother, or father, tells you to do so. Did your parents intentionally plan to raise a robot? I doubt it.

Your mother is someone's daughter, who became a wife, then a mother. Don't get emotional about it, this is the way things are. If you call all DIL's manipulative, then your mother is not exempt from that judgement. When you speak of wives, you are speaking of your own mother. When you speak of mothers, you are speaking of your own wife. Don't marry unless u understand that we are all prone to misjudgment and mistakes. No one is exempt, not even any mother, not even any wife.

Ladies love bringing that leg. No wahala.

Mothers will be mothers and wives will be wives.
When your son gets married, just leave him to his wife.

VickJames:
First of, you didn't meet the man as an island and you can't come and claim him as if he is all yours. He has a family and has a responsibility to them and the family has a responsibility to him. If her mother sees something wrong in his son's life, she'll say it because you don't expect a mother to see something wrong and keep her mouth shut. No way!

DILs hate to be corrected and the MILs will correct you whenever you're wrong. Some DILs will cook meals for their husbands late and expect the mother not to be angry. She'll talk.

Some DILs will tell their husbands to stop some thing he is doing for his family and when the MIL finds out she'll talk. How do expect a mother a keep quiet when her son stops caring for him just because he has a fat woman at home he calls his wife. No way! Mother will talk.

Some DILs have seen the bound in the family of the husband. She is afraid that the man will be that close to her like he is to the family, she'll start poisoning the man's heart. Trust mothers, they'll talk!

Yes, her daughter has gotten enough teachings from the mother. Mother has taught daughter to know the MIL well enough to be able to avoid problems with the MIL.

The main reasons why most ladies have problems with MILs is that they don't take their time to get to know the MILs before running into marriage. Thinking marriage is all about me and my husband alone. Madam, you are on your own when u think like that.

Lols

The MIL described is not ready to have a smooth relationship with her DIL

Serious Lol @ she has taught her daughter like her DIL was not taught.

Such a MIL has failed If she could not select a well bred DIL for her son.

I also hope that the wife's father can also correct the husband

Flytefalls:
Feel free to laugh but it doesn't change a thing. When you choose to marry, you accept the fact your wife now holds importance, do not brush her aside because your mother, or father, tells you to do so. Did your parents intentionally plan to raise a robot? I doubt it.

Your mother is someone's daughter, who became a wife, then a mother. Don't get emotional about it, this is the way things are. If you call all DIL's manipulative, then your mother is not exempt from that judgement. When you speak of wives, you are speaking of your own mother. When you speak of mothers, you are speaking of your own wife. Don't marry unless u understand that we are all prone to misjudgment and mistakes. No one is exempt, not even any mother, not even any wife.

Well all DILs are manipulative apart from the MIL and her daughter

Flytefalls:
I believe!

I've always viewed my MIL to be a lovely woman, but over time I've been put in my place; the kindness was prioritised to her own children. We originally got on well, then things took a turn for the worst. I still can't pin it to any one incident. She has said some truly disgusting things about me and my family, as have her other children. I once accused my husband of sharing their views; I now regret that because he'd been defending me all the time but I couldn't believe/trust him. I know first-hand how this issue can bring out the worst in all of us . I'll eventually forgive but never forget, that's the shame. Her speech at my wedding had sent my family into a fury, but I have managed to pacify things because I'm happy in my marriage and don't wish for my family to feel hate towards his (my husband's family is now my own, so I strive for harmony).

One day, I explained to my husband the type of relationship I'd love to have had with his mum, and frankly stated reasons why I now won't be perusing it any time soon. Through communication with my husband, my relationship with my MIL is actually repairing and I can see good times ahead. I sincerely hope I can enjoy time with her before it's too late, but she has to regain my trust, that takes time. I'm grateful for my husband's efforts. He, like most men on here, is truly a disciple of his mother. I see that as a beautiful thing, but he isn't afraid of telling his mother, or myself, when we 'overstep boundaries'. That is an imperative for the harmony I can see in the future relationship between me and my MIL. Men who are quick to place their mothers opinions over their wives will only create resentment and hostility in his wife's heart. Don't get married unless you are willing to place the needs of your wife as your own.

I'm sorry your own story ended the way it did, I was hopeful towards the end . But like yourself, I wouldn't tolerate disrespectful behavior towards me, especially not towards my husband and future children. When a husband becomes the enemy, that pain is too much

My story ended well actually,that story was in the first few years of marriage and I told it mainly to encourage younger women with impossible mothers in law that they are not alone and I do understand and that it can be turned around.
my MIL and I have a great relationship well,I have visited her many times without my husband there and we had a great time
It didn't start well but it ended well
I will find the conclusion and post it.I did write that on my marital advise thread
I will advise you to go beyond this and forge a good relationship with your MIL primarily because you love your husband
That was my motivation
If I can have a good relationship with my MIL after all that anyone can
But I won't sit down and have someone trying to pass off MILs as angels
Many are not

This was my conclusion of that story

God is my witness,that is my story
That is why I say that I am an authority in MIL stuff
After I lost it,I totally lost it
She became on the defensive and I took over the offensive role
Called her a witch,accused her of coming with juju to scatter her own son's marriage
Those words hurt her a great deal I later found out but I had been hurt for 4 straight months and bore it

To make a long story short a year later,I reached out to her.
Called her and apologized
Yes I forgot my own hurt and did apologize to her ,many months after my husband asked me to,I decided to reach out to her and the shock,o boy .she responded with very very hurtful words and all I said was mama is that what you are saying?
Some of her kids including hubby got on her for that and others got mad at my hubby for telling their mom to apologise to me in fact one didn't speak with him for a year and didn't invite us to his wedding.
I continued to be nice to my mil and eventually won them all over and I sincerely believe the way i handled all that endeared me to my hubby.
Me and mama are cool now and the rest of the family also thanks to counsel from my own mother too.
Mama now reports his son to me self lol

bukatyne:
Lols

The MIL described is not ready to have a smooth relationship with her DIL

Serious Lol @ she has taught her daughter like her DIL was not taught.

Such a MIL has failed If she could not select a well bred DIL for her son.

I also hope that the wife's father can also correct the husband

I don't concern myself with what the wife will be doing with her family. Her business.

Oh! Now its the MIL that selects DIL for men now. Hehehehehhehe.
You have forgotten how humble most women are when they want to marry these men. They deceive everyone and when they get married, they start showing their colours.

Ladies of nowadays bad sha!

taryour:
And you feel what your 6 year old daughter did by throwing her grandmother bible under the bed in anger because she took the phone from her and slammed it was proper? Towards her own grandmother I just wonder what her height of anger would be.

And you also think packing your mother inlaws stuff and throwing them out is justified Hmmmmm I laugh in spanish, I hope your children dint see you do that,most especially your 6 year old daughter cause am sure will grow up thinking all mother inlaws should be treated as such.

Anyways its your home and your choice NOT mine.

If I ever saw a good case of cherry picking,this is it
You should take it up as a profession
If her own son and some of her children who know this full story could chastise their mom and ask her to apologize to me,it speaks volumes.

VickJames:
I don't concern myself with what the wife will be doing with her family. Her business.

Oh! Now its the MIL that selects DIL for men now. Hehehehehhehe.
You have forgotten how humble most women are when they want to marry these men. They deceive everyone and when they get married, they start showing their colours.

Ladies of nowadays bad sha!

The MIL business did not start today So the point of nowadays ladies is moot

I asked you a simple question: Can the wife's father also correct the husband?

bukatyne:
The MIL business did not start today So the point of nowadays ladies is moot

I asked you a simple question: Can the wife's father also correct the husband?

The husband is open to correction if he's doing something wrong.

babyosisi:
If I ever saw a good case of cherry picking,this is it
You should take it up as a profession
If her own son and some of her children who know this full story could chastise their mom and ask her to apologize to me,it speaks volumes.

The truth is that a number of these guys know which of their family members are no go areas but will still try to defend the indefensible.

I also do not understand the nonsense of trying to form Good and active wife when your husband has clearly warned you about Some of his family members.

bukatyne:
The truth is that a number of these guys know which of their family members are no go areas but will still try to defend the indefensible.

I also do not understand the nonsense of trying to form Good and active wife when your husband has clearly warned you about Some of his family members.

I really respect,love and appreciate my husband for telling me from day one that his mom was a tough woman
I went Into the marriage with total disclosure so it was helpful so for that I maintained my cool for 4 months by his encouragement until I lost it when she called my parents mad
One can only take so much
Many of these people talking have moms that doesn't get along with anyone on the street let alone yard
All these women that fight in motor parks and market places,are they not people's mothers?
There are mothers who fought and punched their husbands and everyone in sight and beat them up in fits of rage
Tore clothes off the bodies of their co wives
Tomorrow when her son marries,she becomes a saint abi?
The young woman that had soup poured on her,does anyone want to tell me that son didn't know the mother he had?

When a man sees his mother acting badly despite his advise,he should make her leave especially if he was living in peace before she came.

babyosisi:
My story ended well actually,that story was in the first few years of marriage and I told it mainly to encourage younger women with impossible mothers in law that they are not alone and I do understand and that it can be turned around.
my MIL and I have a great relationship well,I have visited her many times without my husband there and we had a great time
It didn't start well but it ended well
I will find the conclusion and post it.I did write that on my marital advise thread
I will advise you to go beyond this and forge a good relationship with your MIL primarily because you love your husband
That was my motivation
If I can have a good relationship with my MIL after all that anyone can
But I won't sit down and have someone trying to pass off MILs as angels
Many are not

This was my conclusion of that story

Wonderful!!! I'm so happy to hear/read that! Thank you for your advice. As with your story, I am 'winning' her approval through kindness, although what's ridiculous is that this has always been 'me', she needn't have gone the route of blind assumptions (the true danger many mummys boys face but don't want to admit is that their mothers can be wrong). She's been unwell recently and this has accelerated things. My actions have allowed her to see that I do care, but I am also astonished that I would care as much as I do after everything that's occurred between us. This is what it means to be mature, I guess lol.

I, we, can get over this, and I am inspired by your story as I've not been through half of what you have! Thank you again!

VickJames:


Ladies love bringing that leg. No wahala.

Mothers will be mothers and wives will be wives.
When your son gets married, just leave him to his wife.

What makes you think I plan to get so involved in his love life? My mum leaves my brother to learn his own lessons in his relationships, yet she is quite close with his gf. My mum does get it wrong sometimes, I am not afraid to have a mature discussion with her about the issue at hand, not just accept what she says just because she's my mum and she's 'more experienced' as you say. Nonsense. Since when did anybody have all the answers?

... Bloody Kanye