₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
Na wa. So person no fit come nairaland type that sons should maintain boundaries between their mothers and wives or that MILs should respect their DILs.that must be a very evil opinion
Smh.

Why the unnecessary catching of feelings? No offense.

I would assume that anyone especially if raised in Africa knows that respect for elders is non negotiable.so it goes without saying that before a lady is married, she knows she has to respect her MIL. (Of course there will be the exceptions to the rule)
Now does the MIL know that her DIL is a human being with feelings too? Is it wrong to say a MIL should respect her DIL too?

Someone who can't slap her grown up daughter will raise hands to slap someone else's grown up daughter and we turn the girl into a witch because she reacted.

I don't know the last time my parents hit me. Maybe as a teenager in my early teens.
After that if you do something wrong, they will tell you "you're now an adult. Do you want to be flogged or slapped like a child before you learn"
Most people here didn't even get hit by their parents but then somehow it is ok to get hit by parents-in-law.

You guys can keep pretending that such problems don't exist or that it is only the duty of the DIL to bear all but the problem won't go anywhere with such attitude.

Taryour pls I'm not trying to rain on your parade, your story is sweet and teaches tolerance which I'm an advocate of BTW but it is as unbalanced as they come. And the fact that you were already expecting someone to attack you for it is funny.
Who no like sweet story
For the girl looking for poison to kill her MIL, I don't have any words. Shey she no fit leave the man if it is that bad.
Anyone with a brain will agree she's evil. so what's the lesson? Don't try to kill your MIL?

Well she can try and end up in jail for the rest of your life. Or be killed too. (He who lives by the sword dies by the sword)


If only nairaland is A place where people can share different opinions without things getting heated up and some people with agenda and issues making derogatory remarks about other people's families and how they were raised just because they have different opinions.

i see ur point,


but physical fight with an elderly woman?

i beg no excuse.

ok, lets assume she wansnt her mother in law, its iya alata the pepper seller that slaped her, so

she will put her bag down and start to rumble? dem go fight naked each other for street abi?

and if the husband is lucky, he too might be on his way frm work with his frd and dem too can watch the show abi?

there is no excuse for getting physical with her MIL or anyone for that matter.

w

cococandy:
If only nairaland is A place where people can share different opinions without things getting heated up and some people with agenda and issues making derogatory remarks about other people's families and how they were raised just because they have different opinions.

My sister, u too see am?? Na so confusion confuse me oh

Shollypopzz:
I don't like when women fight, so I am going to apologize first for saying you don't have a brain.

My initial post to you on the thread was in response to your original post. There was no "slapping" in your story neither were you talking about events that took place in your life. We don't have to personalize an argument to understand each other's stance on an issue or to come to a common ground on the subject.

After reading your post, I felt your story clearly put the responsibility of maintaining a good relationship between the two(MIL & DIL) on the DIL. I feel that if both women have the same mindset of tolerating, loving and accommodating each other's faults, their relationship will blossom even more.

"Do you find anything faulty with that mindset?" - My earlier question to you was to find out where you're coming from logically and not to cause war.

Your apology is accepted and I also apologize. Oya come let's share this super delicious moist cake *winks*

Ermmm by the way,are you male or female?

Ewuro4:
Tayour, thank you for this thread, what a breath of fresh air. Very well said.

Well what can I say @ end time advices on here; You can only give what you have so You can't give what you don't have. If you respect your own parent at home then respecting any adult won't be a chore, it's inbred no story.

And misery they say loves company.

@Bebe2, your story reminds me of a sister I used to share my mind with, but it took me a while to figure out how frustrated she was in her marriage. Everytime I show her or tell her about my MIL, her replies are always laced with negativies, like; 'Mmm be careful oh, they are all the same my dear, why would you allow her to cook in your kitchen, you have to create boundaries oh or she'll get too comfortable , be careful oh, it's too much, you're giving her the wrong impression and blah blah blah' I stopped calling her and that was it.

some pple are like that ooo, they are so negative,

i spend 30mins wit this woman on the fun and i start to suspect my husband,

even if he says, i love u, am like why? wat did u do? ur conscience dey judge u?

total paranoia

i had to stylishly drive her out of my life ooo

Ewuro4:
Tayour, thank you for this thread, what a breath of fresh air. Very well said.

Well what can I say @ end time advices on here; You can only give what you have so You can't give what you don't have. If you respect your own parent at home then respecting any adult won't be a chore, it's inbred no story.

And misery they say loves company.

@Bebe2, your story reminds me of a sister I used to share my mind with, but it took me a while to figure out how frustrated she was in her marriage. Everytime I show her or tell her about my MIL, her replies are always laced with negativies, like; 'Mmm be careful oh, they are all the same my dear, why would you allow her to cook in your kitchen, you have to create boundaries oh or she'll get too comfortable , be careful oh, it's too much, you're giving her the wrong impression and blah blah blah' I stopped calling her and that was it.

Heeeyyyy omo iya mi, how you dey, family, work and business? Longest time. Trust you all are doing great.

https://www.nairaland.com/2221772/pls-wife-fought-mother-following/14#32098730

Taryour
Greatgod
Everyone else

Try read this woman's story and give me your honest opinions.

It is all good to teach tolerance but someone learning from you guys would also love to hear what you have to say in such a situation.

For now Let's do away with taking gentle swipes at other posters and actually discuss.(I hope that is possible)

In my opinion, that woman handled her problem the way she thought was best at the moment.
I can't judge her even though if I was her,I don't think I'll even have the liver to send the MIL out to a homeless shelter.
Maybe I'll bear her for another day or two while I buy ticket for her to leave.

I can imagine if the man wasn't there that day, maybe they would have fought. Who wouldn't want to hit back after someone crouched from under you and pulled your both feet from beneath you making you land with force on the floor? The reason why I won't fight back in such a situation is because I'm afraid of getting beat up as I'm not strong. Not because I'm so good that I say thank you to every act of violence meted out on me.

Let us try to be fair. Thank you.

I don't think anyone whose head is correct will tell one to go and fight their MIL but acting like there are no bad MILs is like ignoring the problem.

some despite anything will hate you for not being the girl they wanted their son to marry, for not being her friends daughter she has been eyeing for her son,for not being from the area she wanted her son to marry from etc etc
It will only take time if that one is open minded for them to really see you for who you are and love you or accommodate you.

It Is unfair to make it out to be the girl's fault alone.
There are bad women everywhere. Do they suddenly become Angels when they become MILs? I guess not.
So every once in a while, a MIL will be to blame for an issue going on between her and her DIL. Let's not downplay it.
As in that woman's case above. She was even kinder to the MIL than her own son was. Meaning that the man knows his mom and didn't want that interference. But she was treating the woman like her own mother.

This story also puts to rest the argument of treating one's MIL like one's mom, it may not work.
I love my mom to death but also very carefree and somewhat flippant around her. A MIL may misunderstand that. So what works for me is to act even more guarded and respectful towards my MIL Because she can't understand me like my mom can.
Just study the woman and follow her the way you see is better according to your own situation.

End time advices?

LOL!

I wouldn't even hit back at someone my own age let alone an older person.
Seriously I'm so anti-violence I don't even want to spank my kids.
So I'm with you in that angle.


But when will the posters on this forum admit that some older women are troublesome.
All I see is blaming the girl and insulting those who try to say that men should set boundaries in their homes.

It is like everyone is saying amost the same thing but some can't just agree because they don't like the folks saying it.

bebe2:
i see ur point,


but physical fight with an elderly woman?

i beg no excuse.

ok, lets assume she wansnt her mother in law, its iya alata the pepper seller that slaped her, so

she will put her bag down and start to rumble? dem go fight naked each other for street abi?

and if the husband is lucky, he too might be on his way frm work with his frd and dem too can watch the show abi?

there is no excuse for getting physical with her MIL or anyone for that matter.

w

cococandy:
https://www.nairaland.com/2221772/pls-wife-fought-mother-following/14#32098730

Taryour
Greatgod
Everyone else

Try read this woman's story and give me your honest opinions.

It is all good to teach tolerance but someone learning from you guys would also love to hear what you have to say in such a situation.

For now Let's do away with taking gentle swipes at other posters and actually discuss.(I hope that is possible)

In my opinion, that woman handled her problem the way she thought was best at the moment.
I can't judge her even though if I was her,I don't think I'll even have the liver to send the MIL out to a homeless shelter.
Maybe I'll bear her for another day or two while I buy ticket for her to leave.

I can imagine if the man wasn't there that day, maybe they would have fought. Who wouldn't want to hit back after someone crouched from under you and pulled your both feet from beneath you making you land with force on the floor? The reason why I won't fight back in such a situation is because I'm afraid of getting beat up as I'm not strong. Not because I'm so good that I say thank you to every act of violence meted out on me.

Let us try to be fair. Thank you.

I don't think anyone whose head is correct will tell one to go and fight their MIL but acting like there are no bad MILs is like ignoring the problem.

some despite anything will hate you for not being the girl they wanted their son to marry, for not being her friends daughter she has been eyeing for her son,for not being from the area she wanted her son to marry from etc etc
It will only take time if that one is open minded for them to really see you for who you are and love you or accommodate you.

It Is unfair to make it out to be the girl's fault alone.
There are bad women everywhere. Do they suddenly become Angels when they become MILs? I guess not.
So every once in a while, a MIL will be to blame for an issue going on between her and her DIL. Let's not downplay it.
As in that woman's case above. She was even kinder to the MIL than her own son was. Meaning that the man knows his mom and didn't want that interference. But she was treating the woman like her own mother.

This story also puts to rest the argument of treating one's MIL like one's mom, it may not work.
I love my mom to death but also very carefree and somewhat flippant around her. A MIL may misunderstand that. So what works for me is to act even more guarded and respectful towards my MIL Because she can't understand me like my mom can.
Just study the woman and follow her the way you see is better according to your own situation.

Hello friend

How is our oga doing?

Shollypopzz:
My sister, u too see am?? Na so confusion confuse me oh

Seriously. You can't seem to have a different opinion without someone implying that your parents didn't raise you right or you're married to a wuss or you must be projecting your own personal experience or evil.

Well what if it was one's personal experience? It all the more lends credence to the topic doesn't it?

It would be so much fun if we could disagree respectfully.

Let me keep wishing.

bukatyne:
Hello friend

How is our oga doing?

he's fine. And yours?

cococandy:
https://www.nairaland.com/2221772/pls-wife-fought-mother-following/14#32098730

Taryour
Greatgod
Everyone else

Try read this woman's story and give me your honest opinions.

It is all good to teach tolerance but someone learning from you guys would also love to hear what you have to say in such a situation.

For now Let's do away with taking gentle swipes at other posters and actually discuss.(I hope that is possible)

In my opinion, that woman handled her problem the way she thought was best at the moment.
I can't judge her even though if I was her,I don't think I'll even have the liver to send the MIL out to a homeless shelter.
Maybe I'll bear her for another day or two while I buy ticket for her to leave.

I can imagine if the man wasn't there that day, maybe they would have fought. Who wouldn't want to hit back after someone crouched from under you and pulled your both feet from beneath you making you land with force on the floor? The reason why I won't fight back in such a situation is because I'm afraid of getting beat up as I'm not strong. Not because I'm so good that I say thank you to every act of violence meted out on me.

Let us try to be fair. Thank you.

I don't think anyone whose head is correct will tell one to go and fight their MIL but acting like there are no bad MILs is like ignoring the problem.

some despite anything will hate you for not being the girl they wanted their son to marry, for not being her friends daughter she has been eyeing for her son,for not being from the area she wanted her son to marry from etc etc
It will only take time if that one is open minded for them to really see you for who you are and love you or accommodate you.

It Is unfair to make it out to be the girl's fault alone.
There are bad women everywhere. Do they suddenly become Angels when they become MILs? I guess not.
So every once in a while, a MIL will be to blame for an issue going on between her and her DIL. Let's not downplay it.
As in that woman's case above. She was even kinder to the MIL than her own son was. Meaning that the man knows his mom and didn't want that interference. But she was treating the woman like her own mother.

This story also puts to rest the argument of treating one's MIL like one's mom, it may not work.
I love my mom to death but also very carefree and somewhat flippant around her. A MIL may misunderstand that. So what works for me is to act even more guarded and respectful towards my MIL Because she can't understand me like my mom can.
Just study the woman and follow her the way you see is better according to your own situation.

Sweetheart I read and followed that thread from the beginning,though I stopped along the way. My stand still remains she had no right whatsoever raising her hands to slap her mother inlaw was CRAZY.


If I were to be in her shoes I would simply walk out or go into my room and lock myself up till my hubby returns. I will utter no word. YES that is what I will do.


If my own mother slaps me I would never slap her back or talk back to her, what I will do is cry and walk out, even if she calls me back,that particular moment I will walk out.

To be very sincere with you cococandy, marriage has tought me a whole lot. I used to be very very stubborn and when I mean stubborn,you don't dare cross my path I no go gree o. I am always ready for fight oo. But as we grow up we learn to leave something behind and pick new things. Its not being weak but being Wise.

As stubborn as I was, there was a limit to it and boundaries. My hubby has taught me to be more patient,tolerant and overlook things.


What the wife did in that thread is totally wrong, nothing justifies her action,nothing whatsoever. If she was on a clean slate with her mother inlaw then she wouldn't have had any issues let her take the pictures. To even thing she went as far as getting physical with her mother inlaw infront of her friends is really really bad.

Let's call a spade a spade abeg.

taryour:
Your apology is accepted and I also apologize. Oya come let's share this super delicious moist cake *winks*

Ermmm by the way,are you male or female?

I like the middle one.

Can you pls share a tip on how you achieved the color separation? Thanks.

Maybe in the kitchen thread. If it not too much trouble.

No this one is a different story but on the same thread
Just click on the link.

I'm still with you on the not returning violence for violence. I am anti-violence.

This one is a story of a woman who did practically what this baba in the story told the girl to do but instead the MIL paid her back with worse treatment. Are we going to act like such things don't happen?

Me I'm even saying the lady was tough to insist the MIL goes to a homeless shelter that day or the marriage would be over.
Even though I may not be able to do that if I was her, I can't judge her for it.
The MIL clearly had it coming and would probably have continued if the DIL didn't stand up that one time and said her piece.

Sometimes tough love is what works

taryour:
Sweetheart I read and followed that thread from the beginning,though I stopped along the way. My stand still remains she had no right whatsoever raising her hands to slap her mother inlaw was CRAZY.


If I were to be in her shoes I would simply walk out or go into my room and lock myself up till my hubby returns. I will utter no word. YES that is what I will do.


If my own mother slaps me I would never slap her back or talk back to her, what I will do is cry and walk out, even if she calls me back,that particular moment I will walk out.

To be very sincere with you cococandy, marriage has tought me a whole lot. I used to be very very stubborn and when I mean stubborn,you don't dare cross my path I no go gree o. I am always ready for fight oo. But as we grow up we learn to leave something behind and pick new things. Its not being weak but being Wise.

As stubborn as I was, there was a limit to it and boundaries. My hubby has taught me to be more patient,tolerant and overlook things.


What the wife did in that thread is totally wrong, nothing justifies her action,nothing whatsoever. If she was on a clean slate with her mother inlaw then she wouldn't have had any issues let her take the pictures. To even thing she went as far as getting physical with her mother inlaw infront of her friends is really really bad.

Let's call a spade a spade abeg.

cococandy:
he's fine. And yours?

Splendid

cococandy:
Seriously. You can't seem to have a different opinion without someone implying that your parents didn't raise you right or you're married to a wuss or you must be projecting your own personal experience or evil.

Well what if it was one's personal experience? It all the more lends credence to the topic doesn't it?

It would be so much fun if we could disagree respectfully.

Let me keep wishing.

If only wishes were horses...

cococandy:
I wouldn't even hit back at someone my own age let alone an older person.
Seriously I'm so anti-violence I don't even want to spank my kids.
So I'm with you in that angle.


But when will the posters on this forum admit that some older women are troublesome.
All I see is blaming the girl and insulting those who try to say that men should set boundaries in their homes.

It is like everyone is saying amost the same thing but some can't just agree because they don't like the folks saying it.

me too oooohh

i didnt spend 20yrs in education to start acting like i was raised by wolves

on the topic, older ppple are troublesome no doubt.

my gran ma came to live with us wen i was a teenager, lord knows d woman can talk. she complains about everything,

can be very annoying. but wat can we do? beat her till she shuts up?

we just pet, and pretend we are going to do wat she says, and that makes her happy. but in reality we do wat we want

cococandy:
I wouldn't even hit back at someone my own age let alone an older person.
Seriously I'm so anti-violence I don't even want to spank my kids.
So I'm with you in that angle.


But when will the posters on this forum admit that some older women are troublesome.
All I see is blaming the girl and insulting those who try to say that men should set boundaries in their homes.

It is like everyone is saying amost the same thing but some can't just agree because they don't like the folks saying it.

Yes my sister, some older women are troublesome and we can not help that. My mum and I still had a little quarrel like 2 weeks back, yet I dint insult or talk back at her. What I did was avoid her calls and simply send her a text message stating were I feel she went wrong. Was I expecting her to apologize? NO.

But wetin I go do She is my mother, I was the one that later called her and went to visit her. 3 days ago she repeated the same thing I just overlooked it.

She is my mother and there is nothing I will do about it.

Mother inlaws come in different characters,ONLY a wise woman will act right and correctly. At the end of it all she remains your hubby mother and now your mother once you are married to her son.

taryour:
Yes my sister, some older women are troublesome and we can not help that. My mum and I still had a little quarrel like 2 weeks back, yet I dint insult or talk back at her. What I did was avoid her calls and simply send her a text message stating were I feel she went wrong. Was I expecting her to apologize? NO.

But wetin I go do She is my mother, I was the one that later called her and went to visit her. 3 days ago she repeated the same thing I just overlooked it.

She is my mother and there is nothing I will do about it.

Mother inlaws come in different characters,ONLY a wise woman will act right and correctly. At the end of it all she remains your hubby mother and now your mother once you are married to her son.

The danger is that the DIL will suck up all the MILs nonsense and become a terrible MIL to her DIL afterall, she endured worse.

I remembered when We were in boarding house... What made the seniors ' torture bearable was that We would one day become seniors...

You know the rest of the story

Perhaps If MIL s are taught How time treat their DILs, There will be no bad MIL in future.

Depending on age, I even see old people as kids.
This saying that the older one becomes the more like a kid they act is very true.
I've experienced it.

I absolutely adore old folks especially those ones that are no longer physically strong.
They throw tantrums and asks questions like kids sometimes it is amusing.
And you're looking at them like "so someday I'm gonna be like this"

And some of them are just full of blessings.
If you buy then only one wrapper they will bless you until your black cheeks blush bright pink. Aww.

bebe2:
me too oooohh

i didnt spend 20yrs in education to start acting like i was raised by wolves

on the topic, older ppple are troublesome no doubt.

my gran ma came to live with us wen i was a teenager, lord knows d woman can talk. she complains about everything,

can be very annoying. but wat can we do? beat her till she shuts up?

we just pet, and pretend we are going to do wat she says, and that makes her happy. but in reality we do wat we want

taryour:
Yea right. Listen to yourself and hear what you say.

Now I have just 3 question for you.

** If YOUR OWN MOTHER where to act as your mother inlaw does what will you do to YOUR MOTHER

** I want to believe you grew up with your mother, please how was your paternal grandmother treated by YOUR MOTHER as a daughter inlaw she was then

** lastly, while growing up. On each occasion you had quarrels,misunderstandings with YOUR MOTHER,even up till now. What were your reactions then Did you talk back at YOUR MOTHER Beat her up? Slap her? Throw her out of your room? Call her a witch? E.t.c

damn

taryour:
Yes my sister, some older women are troublesome and we can not help that. My mum and I still had a little quarrel like 2 weeks back, yet I dint insult or talk back at her. What I did was avoid her calls and simply send her a text message stating were I feel she went wrong. Was I expecting her to apologize? NO.

But wetin I go do She is my mother, I was the one that later called her and went to visit her. 3 days ago she repeated the same thing I just overlooked it.

She is my mother and there is nothing I will do about it.

Mother inlaws come in different characters,ONLY a wise woman will act right and correctly. At the end of it all she remains your hubby mother and now your mother once you are married to her son.

Exactly. At bold summarizes it. There's no one size fits all.
There's a correct response to any situation. Always applying tolerance and kindness works most times. But If unfortunately a woman finds herself in a situation that only the break up of her marriage will make the MIL happy, then she's justifed to take off the kid gloves and show some tough love.

They will reconcile afterwards and the love will even be stronger than when they pretended to get along.

Are you going to give me the cake tip?

cococandy:
No this one is a different story but on the same thread
Just click on the link.

I'm still with you on the not returning violence for violence. I am anti-violence.

This one is a story of a woman who did practically what this baba in the story told the girl to do but instead the MIL paid her back with worse treatment. Are we going to act like such things don't happen?

Me I'm even saying the lady was tough to insist the MIL goes to a homeless shelter that day or the marriage would be over.
Even though I may not be able to do that if I was her, I can't judge her for it.
The MIL clearly had it coming and would probably have continued if the DIL didn't stand up that one time and said her piece.

Sometimes tough love is what works

Oh sorry sis I just read that story. Even though both stories are different. Truth be told the wife acted very wisely for not going physical with her mother inlaw or throwing words at her. The husband as well took the best decision there.


On the cake, I only glazed the top with caramel and returned it back in the oven for another 2 minutes, you can use melted chocolate as well.

Taryour I love the spirit of the story you shared and I think it's a great one to emulate not just for MIL or DIL relationships but even life in general.When you take the decision to love and not hate life is more peaceful.thar said life is not really an ideal place and sometimes some people are just unloveable and it's just best to leave a distance.

Sorry for digressing Back to topic I really wish I had a mother in law because I feel sad my MIL never saw Her children grow up and she never got to see her grandchildren.

However in as much as I believe in treating your MIL well and how you would treat your mum,I kinda agree with those who say it's very easy to say but hardly realistic. My mother is my mother she has spent all my life with me she might never have met my husband if not for me. She loves my husband but I am not going to kid myself into thinking she loves my husband as much as she loves me.She could transfer the love she has for me to him but to say it's natural is not being realistic . You just love your child you TRY to love your SIL/DIL because of your child.


That's why I believe (and learnt from experience) that the best person to lay boundaries is the child of the parent involved. And by laying boundaries i don't mean' total separation' or 'me and my husband/wife' alone no relatives. I love my mum to bits I speak to her almost everyday but she knows that there are now some things she can't dictate in my life without me discussing with my husband.

For me, my mum is my mum and my husband is my husband.As much as my MIL is late I don't kid myself into thinking that I can take that place, I am not his mother I am his wife and so if she was alive I would know and respect her place as his mother.But it would help if she too would not want to be mother and wife.Its however not my place to fight her or quarrel with her to fight for my 'space' it's left to my husband to let his mother know that roles are different but equally important.

taryour:
Heeeyyyy omo iya mi, how you dey, family, work and business? Longest time. Trust you all are doing great.

We dey jare.. Happy Good Friday. I trust You've spoiled everyone with your yummy goodies

Emi wa a she pupo odun LAYE. Amen. Best Regards

Thanks

taryour:
Oh sorry sis I just read that story. Even though both stories are different. Truth be told the wife acted very wisely for not going physical with her mother inlaw or throwing words at her. The husband as well took the best decision there.


On the cake, I only glazed the top with caramel and returned it back in the oven for another 2 minutes, you can use melted chocolate as well.

damiso:
Taryour I love the spirit of the story you shared and I think it's a great one to emulate not just for MIL or DIL relationships but even life in general.When you take the decision to love and not hate life is more peaceful.thar said life is not really an ideal place and sometimes some people are just unloveable and it's just best to leave a distance.

Sorry for digressing Back to topic I really wish I had a mother in law because I feel sad my MIL never saw Her children grow up and she never got to see her grandchildren.

However in as much as I believe in treating your MIL well I kinda agree with those who say it's very easy to say but hardly realistic. My mother is my mother she has spent all her life with me she might never have met my husband if not for me. She loves my husband but I am not going to kid myself into thinking she loves my husband as much as she loves me.She could transfer the love she has for me to him but to say it's natural is not being realistic.you just love your child you TRY to love your SIL/MIL because of your child.


That's why I believe (and learnt from experience) that the best person to lay boundaries is the child of the parent involved. And by laying boundaries i don't mean seperstion or me and my husband/wife alone no relatives. I love my mum to bits I speak to her almost everyday but she knows that there are now some things she can't dictate in my life without me discussing with my husband.

For me, my mum is my mum and my husband is my husband.As much as my MIL is late I don't kid myself into thinking that I can take that place I am not his mother I am his wife and so if she was alive I would know and respect her place as his mother.But it would help if she too would not want to be mother and wife.Its however not my place to fight her or quarrel with hwe to fight for my 'space' it's left to my husband

Nicely put @ bold

As for not fighting, sometimes the person is forced to If the spouse who owns the parent is not responsibility.

It is well.

damiso:
Taryour I love the spirit of the story you shared and I think it's a great one to emulate not just for MIL
For me, my mum is my mum and my husband is my husband.As much as my MIL is late I don't kid myself into thinking that I can take that place I am not his mother I am his wife and so if she was alive I would know and respect her place as his mother.But it would help if she too would not want to be mother and wife.Its however not my place to fight her or quarrel with hwe to fight for my 'space' it's left to my husband

That's what i said on the other thread,there is no authority in that household.

It is well. Enjoy your long weekend yall

My best friend in secondary school was killed by a wicked mil.
Yes,u heard me right.
So wicked she was exiled forever.
I met her few days b4 she gave up.
I couldn't hold back the tears.
She was tortured by this wicked woman till somebody discovered her but too late.
Son and mother live in d same city but mother insisted on training my friend b4 she finally goes to her hubby's house.
She was d cool and o yes type else she would hv ran away.
Probably hoping it will end one day.
She fall sick and this evil woman instead of taking her to hospital, was giving her concoctions which was weakening her system the more.
Too late, and she died.
The whole community disowned and exiled her.
So much for enduring and treating a wicked mil like urs.
May her soul continue to rest in peace
We hate to face reality.
We have good and bad people in all genders and age.

edwife:
That's what i said on the other thread,there is no authority in that household.

True. ..I can't fight my sis in law sef not to talk of my MIL because I respect my husband too much for that.

bukatyne:
Nicely put @ bold

As for not fighting, sometimes the person is forced to If the spouse who owns the parent is not responsibility.

It is well.

Wisdom is needed,fighting elders is not always the wise choice.