francizy:


Who you think say I go see? Lmao!

You no go even know her self..

wristwatch:
It has happened to me as well.

I met a lady on facebook looking attractive and thinking she has big B**bs not knowing it's foam pad.

The d day came for us to meet. I wore one of my fav outfit, looking cute as if I wana attend Shell interview.

I was sitting in a well known eatery expecting her call. Eventually she called that She can spot where I am sitting.

I was so confused because I couldn't spot d lady I saw on facebook only 2 see one IYA ALATA looking lady working 2wods my direction.

I was like jezzz...! I hope it's not d same lady. She approached me and ask y I am behaving funny.

To cut d story short, I gave an excuse that my Aunt is about to give birth and we will get 2 see another day as I don't want 2 disappoint her 2 hook up dat day.

That was d last time I called her.

farano:
na you sabi mtcheeewww!

Whynotthetruth:



hehehehe...I go report you...

KingTom:
What are you staring at in yiur profile pic?

You just make me check this babe dp now.

E be like say this farano fine small oo
You get her control??

Orijin101:

you ladies and una troubles ehn. . . well, i know you are not like then.

BTW, what did you put in your front and backside that makes dem swollen like dat ? the last time i checked, it wazn't as big as that. . . Hope itz not wah I'm thinking

Oga, na 4u oooooo.. So you don notice babe so tey you even notice her increase in bosoms

mindworx:
Are you kidding me? I've been deceived twice. lol ... Lawd of Messi

Some chics could be photogenic, really. Saw one on twitter, and as as sharp guy from tweets to DMs, from DMs to number exchange, then evening calls when i get back from work, then a weekend at my crib. Gosh, then i saw this ... cant even describe. Not like she photoshoped her pix but maybe she took the pix with some appropriate light direction and all, but its not just what i saw on twitter .. anyway, that didn't stop the deed o, cos i no dey look face.

Another like that on BBM thing.. I even had to travel, mtcheew. God punish devil. All join, no shaking.

Hahaha Meaning if a chicken wears a skirt, you no go still look Uche face ?

tosyne2much:
Oga, na 4u oooooo.. So you don notice babe so tey you even notice her increase in bosoms

ahn ahn. . . no be so ooo. . . _{the chic na my babe} no tell anybody ooo

AgapeCharis:
You just make me check this babe dp now.

E be like say this farano fine small oo
You get her control??

sniper77:
Alas my friend jumped on the same bike and told the bike rider to please ride as fast as possible as his sole mission was to escape

Hahahahaha roflwkmd

I don laf wake my people for house. Hahahahahaha

Guy you don use laf kill me here oooo

KingTom:

Why I go share her control with you? Chai Nwannem you have grown wings okwia?

Nwoke I still dey single. Man gat help himself

Fari fari farano don't tell me you didn't see my mention

francizy:

Abeg oh!
Shhhhh..
No pour stones for my garri oh

AgapeCharis:
Nwoke I still dey single. Man gat help himself

Fari fari farano don't tell me you didn't see my mention

timunstopable:
Ok my friend gave me this girl pin tell me say na easy meat you now how we guys pass pins around

I added the girl sharpely

We started chatting exchanged pictures. ..mehn you need to see the legs of this girl..bobby sef sef ..light skinnned looking fresh

Just like my friends talk very easy within a week she had agreed to pay me a visit and even spend the night

she stays in benin

So na so we plan am for friday ..I don prepare my room I stay with my brother I don hint dem say I dey expect visitor.

The plan when you get to my estate gate call me .I told her the make and colour of my car.

Na so my phone ring am at the gate .See as I rush get car keys

Na the leg really make me craze for this girl.

As I approached the gate biggest mistake I made was to call her and tell her she will soon see. I got to the gate na only wowo girl like that with yamrous legs dey dere thet smile at my car.i called her no ..lo and behold she pick am ..she was like I can see you now shebi na you then inside the black camry..


kai gobe

I had no choice (walahi if she no see me I for run leave am there)

Na so I pick my burden go house..

No urge to straff sef ..I jux dey mute throughout she tried chatting my reply was ok, fine next thing am tired .told her she can stay in my room

na so I go crash for my bro room dem jux dey laff me

Next morning 5am I wake am up say we ve to go say I get improptu meeting say I dey travel gave her t fare dropped her off


NA later I find out say my friends set me up yeye bois

bodashee:
The first and only time I ever matchmade a couple. Started out as a joke when my very short roomate was jilted by her bf and she started disturbing me to find her a generous young man that could spend on her. She was done with love.
Meanwhile I had a very stingy good looking cousin that was looking for a tall and sexy girl.
I matchmade the two of them.....supervising their "get to know each other" processover a period of three months.
The shocker came for the guy first the day they were finally supposed to meet. My cousin goes out expecting to see the face he had gotten familiar with over bbm and whatsapp. And he saw the face quite alright, except that it was attached to a super short lady. I had to go on exile that day. My cousin would have maimed me if he met me at home when he returned.
But they started getting serious....to my dismay.
And then my roomate discovered that my cousin was rich. Rich skills in romantic poetry writing and recitals. As far as money was concerned, he'd rather spend it on anything except women.
Where was I the whole while? Laughing through the series of events that resulted from mym first matchmaking attempt.

KingTom:
Bobo no be this one. See this babe I dey harsh for her matter o!

No worry I go buy you beer

AgapeCharis:
No worry I go buy you beer

KingTom:
I don't drink alcohol

Okay. Zobo will do.

AgapeCharis:
Okay. Zobo will do.

KingTom:
Idiat!

KingTom:
Idiat!

AgapeCharis:


Nwane maa go crash.

KingTom:
no wahala good night

amsoslim:
My experience is a bit different. Having to meet her live bfr meeting her on social media.it all started when I travelled to lagos for the chrismas and new year celebration when I met this certain girl on the 31st of Dec during the pass over night I was damn soaked & wasted in liquor(a mixture of bacardi Vodka,magnum & a lot of hennessy).in my highness,the only thing I could recall was that we exchanged numbers though I barely knew what I was typing in my phone,she got my phone, typed in her number dialed her number so she could get a missed call on her phone. After a long period of drunk chat,we had to bid each other good bye,I could recall she pleaded I call her when I get home but I was too high and weak so I didn't border calling. Two days later,she called, I was like who is this pls? when she said is KEMI the lady you met at RCC during the pass over night. Three days after our first conversion via phone I travelled back to Uyo,we only communicated via phone calls.days turned into weeks,weeks turned into months. On several occassions I hadd asked for her pix but she refused saying until we meet again before I can see her. So I had to cook up a means to know what this Kemi girl looks like since she refused revealing to me her facebook,2go,twitter username or even send me her pix as MMS. Since I got her number,I had to use her number to searched through FB & boom I saw her pix and full name.
When I saw her pix I was like whaaoo this girl is loaded and a perfect description of God image,asides her charming looks,what actually threw me off balance where her XXL Oranges,cos that's one thing that trips me in ladies,an essential criteria for my taste of girls is you must be bobbysome so incase mistake happen wey fit lead to belle my children no go suffer of malnutrition.
After some months of phone chat and love talk especially from her ends,she offered to come to Uyo from lagos for visit in one of the weekends and to travel back on monday. I sent her some transport so it wouldn't look like I aint man enough.
On thursday prior to her coming I had made sure I cleaned everything in my house,bought new perfumes/body spray and washed all of my utensils,that I even went as far as buying Red wine to spice up the evening/night since she will be arriving late.
On her way down to uyo she called almost every 5seconds,all I had in mind was man make the chick come d weekend na no going out or seeing the sun cos we go lock our sev in side cos am go make her scream all night,speak in all manner of tongues and beg for more cos of the naughty/dirty things I was gonna do to her as par say na Akwa Ibom guy I b,that I even planned on giving her the best kiss ever at the park when I go to pick her but the muse wenched and everything turned sour when I got to the park cos the picture of her I had imagined/fantacized about coupled with her voice on phone which was angellic and magnetic was the direct opposite of her in real life. That moment I left like putting her back in the same bus she came with that night so she could go back to lagos,all what ran through my mind was what would my friends and neighbours say when they see this girl,she was like taiye taiwo,OBJ and Mr Ibu put together,no b say I too fine but when I see Kemi na then I believe say I b leonado diCaprio. I had to manage to smuggle her into my room that night with out been noticed by anyone but luck ran out on me when a friend(Ebuka) of mine came to check on me that night though I had called almost everyone on my phonebook to inform them that I wouldn't be around all through the weekend till monday evening. Not upto two minutes when I had gone to get sleeping pills for myself so as to induce some sleep so I forget about the mess have gotten myself into when Ebuka came checking on me,Kemi was in the shower when he came in,according to him he said he had to wait to know who was in my room since I had called him earlier that day to inform him that I Would be away till monday. As he sat in the mini sofa waiting for my return when Kemi walked out of the shower,according to him they both exchanged pleasantries,during the process of his inquiring of my whereabout when I walked in,on seeing me he walked straight to me,held me by hand and took me to the gate,I could see disappointment on his face,the first thing he said was Chris what's wrong with you where did get such creature from,are you sick or you have started taking crack? I was speechless,I had no excuse to give that moment,after much talk and advice he walked away,that moment I felt the earth could open up and swallow me. After a while alone and trying to swallow the truth in all he had served me I reluctantly walked back into my room. On getting back to my room I met her half naked with her top still on and a pink pant around her coca cola shaped waist,at first I wasn't moved neither did I feel anything,instead I just walked staight to the bed and laid down

mytime24:
tnx

Horllamideh:

ur story is the most hilarious,i laff so hard and loud sotay my rummate playing pes on his laptop look me lyk "awon aye ti pada get paddy yii"

DeKasablanca:
No1 z perfect. A lot of celebrities, evn hollywood look worse, so give we girls a break

RomanceLander:
That awful moment when you find rubey changing cars in her DP,
you'd be like gush she's such a big chick

Vivly:
That awkward moment when you stare at a beautiful dp and the closer you look, the uglier it gets.