Evina:


Wow iwatch
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your prayers and receive your declarations for me.

I should print this out.
Thanks a lot and may you experience the same measure of goodness, you have dispensed.
Cheers.

I shared your post on my facebook wall and lots of my friends find it hard to believe that someone like you exist. It's that bad. I had to drop a direct link here so they can see for themselves.

Some said it's a lie... The world is messed up really. See why I was respect your post? See why I respect the girl I missed? It's hard coming across your kinds...

Evina:


Wow iwatch
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your prayers and receive your declarations for me.

I should print this out.
Thanks a lot and may you experience the same measure of goodness, you have dispensed.
Cheers.

I read your story, I don't quote people anyhow but I have to make an exception, your kind is rare, I just can't believe you actually exist. I hope to get to meet your family one of these days, it will be my delight to meet you and your husband. God bless you, bless your husband and bless your home.

Wow! 100 pages!!!
Evina dear congrats, I wish you happy married life.

Yes
Celebrating 100 pages with a pot of stew cooking

babyosisi:
Yes
Celebrating 100 pages with a pot of stew cooking

Hope you will share the stew with all of us?

babyosisi:
Yes
Celebrating 100 pages with a pot of stew cooking

This stew no go reach all of us o!

babyosisi:
Yes
Celebrating 100 pages with a pot of stew cooking

Oya queue up everybody. No fighting, no pushing pls. Aunty Osisi I volunteer to do the sharing; one drop per lip.

sorry guyz...i'm new at dis so u all shld pardon my mistakes. you are all doing a gud job.
Here is my own wahala...my husband blows hot and cold air. sometimes he is sensitive, most times he is not. Every little mistake has to be me. a perfectionist yet cant help me with chores at home, always complaining, has temper issues. Infact my list plenty. But then, all of a sudden he will become lovey dovey for a little while before going back to status quo.

Everybody is invited
One one spoon,it will reach everybody

babyosisi:
Everybody is invited
One one spoon,it will reach everybody

Ojare

sexynne:
sorry guyz...i'm new at dis so u all shld pardon my mistakes. you are all doing a gud job.
Here is my own wahala...my husband blows hot and cold air. sometimes he is sensitive, most times he is not. Every little mistake has to be me. a perfectionist yet cant help me with chores at home, always complaining, has temper issues. Infact my list plenty. But then, all of a sudden he will become lovey dovey for a little while before going back to status quo.

Men do that sometimes and I promise you most times when you see him becoming abrupt or cold and even insensitive,it's not about you
There are other issues bothering him not you
I spent years being angry at my husband and accusing him of not being very loving and insensitive until I understood it wasn't anything against me.he loves me and always did.
Men have to put up with so much pressure out there and they usually internalize their feelings than verbalize,unlike women
When a boss gives them a hard time or the bank account is not meeting demands from his family or children's fees etc, he won't tell you those things but it will affect his mood.
Study your man well
That was what I did
And I stopped taking those behaviors personal and it turned out I was so right
When in future he tells me a story of something that made him very mad or upset ,I can always pin point the period that happened
Learn to overlook some of those things
I wish somebody told me these things in my early years
Nowadays when he acts that way,I don't respond much and he eventually comes over to apologize for being abrupt
If it has been before,I will accuse him of being insensitive and an argument ensues followed by everyone angry sometimes for days.
No need for all that stress

oo! tnx, u sure hav a way of making one feel gud. Bt am guessing my case goes beyond that. For instant, we jst found out i'm pregg wit second baby, bt the man poured me hot plate of food dis aftetnoon because I didt inform on time that i'v set the table. Please, who does that to another person not to talk of yr pregnant wife. Sometimes, he will haul abuses at me. Adanne, ike akugo mu.

sexynne:
oo! tnx, u sure hav a way of making one feel gud. Bt am guessing my case goes beyond that. For instant, we jst found out i'm pregg wit second baby, bt the man poured me hot plate of food dis aftetnoon because I didt inform on time that i'v set the table. Please, who does that to another person not to talk of yr pregnant wife. Sometimes, he will haul abuses at me. Adanne, ike akugo mu.

Poured hot plate of food on you?
How?

I served him lunch, guess he didt hear when I told him food is served, went to the room to feed our son, then he came in and complained that I didt inform him that i'v served food, so I shld come clear the table. Told him, if he wnt eat he shld clear the table himself. He left the room and came back with the plate n poured the content on me.

That is jst an example of his anger tantrum...

@ Sexynne, what did you do afterwards? For pouring hot food on you, that guy is probably beating the shiiiit out of you. Your reactions today will determine if he will pour hot water too or strangle you when you speak out of turn.

sexynne:
That is jst an example of his anger tantrum...

This is not tantrum, this is abuse. He is graduating from verbal to physical, better buckle up and set plans to defend and protect yourself.

my dear...i was to shocked to even react, plus he was smart enuf to leave the house. No physical abuse, jst emotional and verbal.

sexynne:
I served him lunch, guess he didt hear when I told him food is served, went to the room to feed our son, then he came in and complained that I didt inform him that i'v served food, so I shld come clear the table. Told him, if he wnt eat he shld clear the table himself. He left the room and came back with the plate n poured the content on me.

You gotta be kidding me.

@Sexynne: Emotional and verbal abuse is worst than physical abuse in my opininon, cos it makes one think less of him/hersef leading to low self esteem.

I hope you find help and a lasting solution soonest. Its well with you

iwatch:
I shared your post on my facebook wall and lots of my friends find it hard to believe that someone like you exist. It's that bad. I had to drop a direct link here so they can see for themselves.

Some said it's a lie... The world is messed up really. See why I was respect your post? See why I respect the girl I missed? It's hard coming across your kinds...

LOL @ a lie.

So what happened to your girl?

Wow Sexynne

I am at a loss for words.
That is beyond callous.

softysparky:
Wow! 100 pages!!!

Evina dear congrats, I wish you happy married life.

Thank you love.

iyisco2001:

I read your story, I don't quote people anyhow but I have to make an exception, your kind is rare, I just can't believe you actually exist. I hope to get to meet your family one of these days, it will be my delight to meet you and your husband. God bless you, bless your husband and bless your home.

Very kind of you.
Thank you so much.

With the sincere prayers I've received on this thread alone, hmmmmm. I give God praise oh and may He reward you ALL.

babyosisi:
Everybody is invited
One one spoon,it will reach everybody

Please what is this meal?

Stew or porridge?

babyosisi:
Yes
Celebrating 100 pages with a pot of stew cooking

Okay.
I didn't see this post before my enquiry.

But NNE, where is the rice nauw? Or are we meant to lick it?

sexynne:
I served him lunch, guess he didt hear when I told him food is served, went to the room to feed our son, then he came in and complained that I didt inform him that i'v served food, so I shld come clear the table. Told him, if he wnt eat he shld clear the table himself. He left the room and came back with the plate n poured the content on me.

gleatz:
@Sexynne: Emotional and verbal abuse is worst than physical abuse in my opininon, cos it makes one think less of him/hersef leading to low self esteem.

I hope you find help and a lasting solution soonest. Its well with you

i hope so too o. I am beginning to resent him and i'm scared of wat I might do if it keeps coming. The only person I knw he will listen to is his mum, bt I dnt even wanna bring an outside person into all dis.

Evina:


Okay.
I didn't see this post before my enquiry.

But NNE, where is the rice nauw? Or are we meant to lick it?

Rice n stew.

@sexynne
Hi there,
You may heave a sigh of relief that its only verbal and emotional abuse and not physical but in my opinion those ones are as bad as if not worse than physical.
When someone constantly berates you and plays with your mind on top,there is a gradual erosion of self worth and confidence. You find that bit by bit you begin to lose your self and start believing the words of the abuser & even descend to blaming yourself for his tantrums.
Your Dh has graduated to humiliating you physically in front of your child,it will definitely get physical.To what extent though,I can't say.It will get to a point where he will slap you,and maybe splatter of beatings here and there.Its a natural progression.
When he's verbally assaulting you what do you do? Watch him?Have you ever stood up for yourself and told him NO! Do NOT talk to me like that,I won't accept it.Are you leaving it to God to come down and change him?You have to build yourself up and refuse to listen to things that are denigrating to you.

What do you do? Do you work? Whether you work or not is not a license for abuse but its advisable in this case to have something doing that will take you out of the house and give you a breather.Something that will give you back up just incase.
Sometimes bullies thrive on knowing you are helpless..the more mature approach is to walk away when he gets insultive. The more crazy approach is to give fire for fire and match insult for insult. That may shock him into silence and cause him to think twice before insulting you again. In some cases complacency is a sign of acceptance of the situation.I don't know what type of personality you have but its wiser to start by walking away whenever the insults begin.

For today, wake him up at night and tell him if he repeats what he did, you will deal with him mercilessly. Say it in a calm cold voice,no need to shout.Also tell him from today,you won't stand and listen to him talk to you anyhow.If he doesn't want to talk like an adult,you will REFUSE to listen.
Someone very close to me has been married to your husbands type for over 30 years.He has slapped her and hit her a few times.He's never beat her as per beating, a blow to the back here and there and stuff like that.
She has no light in her eyes,the man controls her down to clothing and yet he's a shameless philanderer. She turned to church ,I don't see how its helped as she's still unhappy.They are in their 60s and 50s.Her son has gone down the same verbal abuse path.

If for nothingelse start standing up for yourself for the sake of your children.They are watching and will learn from example.NEVER allow anyone corrode your self dignity and confidence.Na the same God wey create you and am.Never forget you came from somewhere,im sure you have parents and siblings somewhere who value you.If your husband wont appreciate you,you have family who you matter to.

Find stuff to boost the way you feel about yourself,for every negative word,reinforce yourself with positive and remind yourself of that everyday.

Good Luck...

Madampinkolo:
@sexynne
Hi there,
You may heave a sigh of relief that its only verbal and emotional abuse and not physical but in my opinion those ones are as bad as if not worse than physical.
When someone constantly berates you and plays with your mind on top,there is a gradual erosion of self worth and confidence. You find that bit by bit you begin to lose your self and start believing the words of the abuser & even descend to blaming yourself for his tantrums.
Your Dh has graduated to humiliating you physically in front of your child,it will definitely get physical.To what extent though,I can't say.It will get to a point where he will slap you,and maybe splatter of beatings here and there.Its a natural progression.
When he's verbally assaulting you what do you do? Watch him?Have you ever stood up for yourself and told him NO! Do NOT talk to me like that,I won't accept it.Are you leaving it to God to come down and change him?You have to build yourself up and refuse to listen to things that are denigrating to you.

What do you do? Do you work? Whether you work or not is not a license for abuse but its advisable in this case to have something doing that will take you out of the house and give you a breather.Something that will give you back up just incase.
Sometimes bullies thrive on knowing you are helpless..the more mature approach is to walk away when he gets insultive. The more crazy approach is to give fire for fire and match insult for insult. That may shock him into silence and cause him to think twice before insulting you again. In some cases complacency is a sign of acceptance of the situation.I don't know what type of personality you have but its wiser to start by walking away whenever the insults begin.

For today, wake him up at night and tell him if he repeats what he did, you will deal with him mercilessly. Say it in a calm cold voice,no need to shout.Also tell him from today,you won't stand and listen to him talk to you anyhow.If he doesn't want to talk like an adult,you will REFUSE to listen.
Someone very close to me has been married to your husbands type for over 30 years.He has slapped her and hit her a few times.He's never beat her as per beating, a blow to the back here and there and stuff like that.
She has no light in her eyes,the man controls her down to clothing and yet he's a shameless philanderer. She turned to church ,I don't see how its helped as she's still unhappy.They are in their 60s and 50s.Her son has gone down the same verbal abuse path.

If for nothingelse start standing up for yourself for the sake of your children.They are watching and will learn from example.NEVER allow anyone corrode your self dignity and confidence.Na the same God wey create you and am.Never forget you came from somewhere,im sure you have parents and siblings somewhere who value you.If your husband wont appreciate you,you have family who you matter to.

Find stuff to boost the way you feel about yourself,for every negative word,reinforce yourself with positive and remind yourself of that everyday.

Good Luck...

I just love madampinkolo

@madampinkolo. I really do appreciate yr message. First i'm naturally the forgiving type, bt then I had to change as I saw dat was nt yeilding any positive result.
I used to cry when he starts or walk away, bt it didt help, so I resulted to shouting match(never insulted him though) bt this too has nt changed much. Now, im bac to walking away, then dis!
I used to teach(naija no job), bt he said he was not comfortable with that and I had to stop. But then he jst opened up business for me.
I'm here cos i'm at my wills-end and I really dnt knw hw to react to dis level of abuse. I wnt decieve myself into believing dat it will be a one time thing. But I dnt knw what to do.