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Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 10:17pm On May 11, 2015
sameer1212:
undecided
"like"
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by sexylogan(m): 10:18pm On May 11, 2015
Blackett:
The pastor is a very big fool. Look at the dumb ass calling the second lady naïve. Naïve in what sense? What a dumb fvck.

grin

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Ominiriches(m): 10:20pm On May 11, 2015
Marry the first girl (virgin).
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by soji1992: 10:21pm On May 11, 2015
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by nairalandbuzz(m): 10:33pm On May 11, 2015
Pastor, u have to be wise about this... Don't rush... You won't be the first to be diplomatic using ur sense... Remember Ruth and Boaz...

Now, go to the Lord in fasting for forgiveness of sins for not consulting Him first before ur virtual exploration. There is nothing bad meeting and proposing without seeing the person but its really on the eating side setting a wedding date virtually.... Its senseless!

Call the lady that you're not buoyant for d wedding as u spent all ur funds on something important... But the plan is still on. Then go back to God to help u make d right choice... Pray it for 2 hours before bed and I assure u answer will come... It might be boring repeating a prayer point but it works like juju.

In my opinion, the first lady might ve a hidden stuff that might annoy you and the second is definitely using something on you... Bros they can be agents without knowing themselves... Its just too fast.... Wind back.

Talking from exp
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 10:39pm On May 11, 2015
Midehi:
"like"
LOL.... Was just kidding. How have u been? Good ait? I miss u.
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by socialmediaman: 10:42pm On May 11, 2015
@paschu - Pastor Chukwuma? wink *winks*

I think the pastor is being desperate due to age, but there are a few things to consider here:

1. Dating a woman for 8years with close intimacy is enough to establish a connection between the pastor and the First Lady, sometimes that kind of bond needs a spiritual or mutual agreement to breakup successfully, he has bonded with that lady to a great extent and the only thing keeping them from being pronounced man and wife is an official blessing from a pastor, he should be careful here how he goes ahead with another woman without first having a mutual complete breakup both physically and spiritually with the First Lady.

2. It's just not right, especially in this age, to meet and propose to a woman you have not seen physically. I've seen people become so engrossed with each other online, all to meet each other and everything suddenly vanishes, they start all over again or go separate ways, that attraction just wasn't there physically. Internet communication can be so alluring, but in so many ways cannot be trusted. Both parties met each other in odd circumstances, pastor probably in a hurry to get married, woman probably desperate to get married and so on, I don't see the reality in it yet. I hope also the pastor doesn't in any way think he's doing that girl a favor because that girl might also think she wouldn't be getting involved with this If not for her situation... You know, when they get married eventually, someday she might make a statement that would make the pastor feel used when he thought he was being a Good Samaritan, things happen in marriage and a lot of realities get revealed, I mean, as long as they live together, their true colors will surface... Something else I almost forgot is, if the pastor knows that he can't father another man's child, then he shouldn't go into this second woman's life. He has to make up his mind first, no woman wants her child being a second class citizen in her home.

My advise is, if the parents of the other lady are willing to accept him, let them go back together and settle down because I think they were meant for each other. If they're not ready yet to accept him, then he shouldn't waste his time on the first girl, he should move on, but I advise he goes ahead and spend more time with this second woman.
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 10:49pm On May 11, 2015
sameer1212:
LOL.... Was just kidding. How have u been? Good ait? I miss u.
am very good & miss you too.


goodnight & sweetdreams.
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by bankai2015(f): 10:52pm On May 11, 2015
paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.


two witches dey follow the pastor for village

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 10:53pm On May 11, 2015
Midehi:

am very good & miss you too.


goodnight & sweetdreams.
OK dear, am holding u tight, sweet dreams,cheers!
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 10:55pm On May 11, 2015
Tell the pastor I'm not th Holy Spirit so he shouldn't ask for my advice. In issues that concerns marriage, he should take it upstairs to the one who instituted marriage & not discuss it among men. If he's truly a pastor, the Spirit would have led him but for him to be this confused, tell him to ask himself sincerely if God truly called him to be a pastor

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by AlfyTheBlogger: 11:01pm On May 11, 2015
ok na...
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by tasmis: 11:14pm On May 11, 2015
Pastor should just go 4 d 1st girl.
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by chaloner(m): 11:17pm On May 11, 2015
oyin17:




You need Jesus like never before! are you ready to give your life to him? He is standing at the door of your heart, open your heart for him to come in. tomorrow may be too late. are you ready?
kip showin ur unshave christianity. Hypocrite
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by lordprosh(m): 11:39pm On May 11, 2015
@ OP u just av to accept the FACTS hr.. I respect anyone with the Pastor tag
1- form ur story I see a man who is not ready to accept responsibility...wish I tink is due to his financial status..*but he shld improve on dat*
2- if he really wants to marry to singe mother den he shld be ready to accept the BOY has he's first child!!!
3- he shld be ready to knw dat u don't get to benefit form all d people yhu help!!! So if he fells he doesn't want d "Virgin" he shld decide Now..
4- as much I u don't want m to say this I just av to...WR is GOD in his STORY? If he's a PASTOR he shld pray to GOD for direction... He shld kip the DESPERATION out... God has a plan for his own

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by kinibigdeal(m): 12:10am On May 12, 2015
Stop using the word pastor, his never one. Wetin pastor they find for online dating site undecided

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by greggng: 12:25am On May 12, 2015
stardragon:

ok.

What u'll do now is for u to get more closer to her. Try findin out what she does for a living and from their u can dertemine whether u can change her to a good girl u've known before "remember no body is perfect"







lastly, let she lead u to her family menbers by herself for u people to determine the fate of the child.




God bless u . I still luv her despite the fact that her family was harsh on me. I will follow ur instruction . Like u said no one is perfect and moreover is not my plan to marry a different woman. Ie I want the mother of my child to be my wife

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nyceguy92: 3:16am On May 12, 2015
[quote author=paschu post=33630479]

Since the pastor did not have much education and did not contribute financially toward the first girls`s education, her parents are unlikely to accept him as a suitor.

It appears the pastor made unwise and hasty decision, proposing marriage online to somebody he had not met. Looks like he is marrying out of pity, not love.

Besides, `naive` may not be the appropriate word to describe a graduate.

The issue are:

Which of them does the pastor love most and whose parents will give consent? Virginity does not matter much.

Will he accept the second lady`s child?
He is under no obligation to accept, but if the father of the child will come calling eventually, then child should go to his/her father.

Is it with parental consent that the first girl wants to come back? She did stand firm with the pastor in the first place, which was why he went online.

My verdict: People marry out of love and cherished attributes. It appears the pastor does not love the second woman; he just wants to fill a vacuum and marry for the heck of it.
I sense that he loves the first girl more so if she is making a genuine comeback and her parents have accepted, he should go for her

Otherwise, he should look elsewhere for a wife.

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 4:51am On May 12, 2015
chaloner:
kip showin ur unshave christianity. Hypocrite



See as e dey pain you, my unshave ?
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by samtechcomm: 5:22am On May 12, 2015
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Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by galadima77(m): 7:07am On May 12, 2015
even jamb dey summarize
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by chiibekee(f): 7:09am On May 12, 2015
oyin17:




I know but this one na fake pastor, na online e go find wife, reason am na
there is no best place to get a good wife. Good wives are everywhere.
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by ElziLaz(m): 7:29am On May 12, 2015
This is a very dicey situation here. If I may, I will advise he goes for the first girl. If truly he's a pastor because his calling is very important and he needs someone to complement him. Since he can't swallow the fact of fathering anoda man's child, he shouldn't start what he can't finish or what will some day jeopardise his ministry and reputation. He should stick with the first girl. My opinion though, it's his decision to make.
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by fyneboi79(m): 7:40am On May 12, 2015
Blackett:
The pastor is a very big fool. Look at the dumb ass calling the second lady naïve. Naïve in what sense? What a dumb fvck.
Who is this animal
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Akynzodeighbour(m): 8:06am On May 12, 2015
What happened to prayers and direction from God? Wonders shall never end, simply seek Gods face

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 8:17am On May 12, 2015
paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.





you will soon come back here and tell us to pray for the pastor cus the wife has become a devil
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by JakeII(m): 8:26am On May 12, 2015
If you are truly convinced that this man is a Pastor, and he really is, simply tell him to seek God's face. If the story is true, he(the Pastor) is almost making up his mind based on his emotions. A Pastor who fails in his marriage will most likely, except by God's grace, fail in his ministry. It is obvious from the story that he has not sought God's face on this which is not too good for a Pastor.....

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by erumena(m): 8:45am On May 12, 2015
paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.



It's either he marries the first lady or get someone else that is real, he's a Pastor and he needs a woman that will run with his vision. The second lady is definitely not an ideal choice, she'll complicate his life! My two cents.
Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by thelish(f): 8:56am On May 12, 2015
youngice:
ask google
or rather ask God. i think say naija pastors with God dey discuss on per second billing. God spoke to me, should apply here. na nw he nid am pass.

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by holysaint1(m): 9:19am On May 12, 2015
Pebcak:

www.nairaland.com/attachments/2336917_ifapriest_jpeg2b133fedbb493e20dcb871412a5b3d5b

Ifa said pastor should explain Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.STRANGE

The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow www.nairaland.com/attachments/2394058_images_jpeg68d5535b971d558f594f10a5affd0a71 but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.


From Clear eye leaving IFA out of the story: THIS PASTOR GET WAKA o
NA ONLY PASTOR WAKACOME,
He cant just date some1 virtually propose virtually and even fix wedding date why is he leading the girl on
The first girl will be a better option but the pastor might regret it, if oga pastor is opened enough 2nd girl might be worth it but person wey u never meet, so he should meet up with the second girl and evaluate her and decide

guy.. Hope u knw say u funny cheesy

1 Like

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by Nobody: 9:27am On May 12, 2015
Blackett:
The pastor is a very big fool. Look at the dumb ass calling the second lady naïve. Naïve in what sense? What a dumb fvck.

See them, awon were..

Re: Urgently: Some Strategic Advice Needed As A Matter Of Destiny by truthhurts2: 10:59am On May 12, 2015
kingiykon:
I'm back....There is nothing to advise here....He should go back 2 his investment that is the 1st girl. SIMPLE. next thread jor.
Shikena....

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