enoqueen:
One of the many mistakes we women make is allowing our men know that we av money.

U did not do anything wrong and let it remain so even after paying ur fees.

When men sees money with us, they will be coming up with different project that they cannot do alone just to make sure that we spend what we av.

Donpizzle:


NOTE: the essence of a woman in marriage is to assist the man and to be parasitic to him.

ivyT:
U did d right thing nd stand ur ground.Finances causes alot of problem_iv witnessed it

am nt been bias_but MenAintWorthIt,

jaybee3:


First and foremost, you aren’t the only one with years of marriage experience so get that straight. Second of all, I would like to know the reason why your marriage didn’t work since you’ve claimed on this board weeks back that it had nothing to do with infidelity. Perhaps it had something to do with your egocentric nature?

You can’t go into a marriage with a superman mind-set and expect it to work.
Obviously, It’s safe to assume you had be the type that will demand she does all the manual jobs in the house because you’ve made yourself the sole breadwinner.
Obviously, it will be difficult for her to have an opinion when it comes to finances and/or decisions on major projects because it’s your money which you have singly earned with outright right to spend as you wish




It’s simply idiotic and outright stupid for you to consider a position with just one possible outcome. So you will basically continue working 24/7 just to prove you are the man even if it’s clear your wife can support the family where possible?



This is just plain ridiculous to be honest with you. How can you establish a mind-set that you will always provide then suddenly expect her to support you when you can’t ?
Why sell a lifestyle that you know won’t/can’t be sustainable since you’ve rightly agreed that there is the possibility of you being incapable of fulfilling your responsibility

You are simply a perfect example of those men that will cry foul that their woman ain’t supportive even though you’ve done this that for them. Why would they I ask if all you had be trying to do is introducing a new phenom into an already established agreement




How is it absurd if the contribution is entirely going towards the household?



How stupid of you, so you had deliberately restrict your family from life of luxury just so you can massage your ego?
You had basically send your kids to public school even when it’s clear that investment in good quality education almost certainly yield desired results in the long run



I’m interested in why it didn’t work despite being a superman



Good righteous women won’t see it as such since they had be seeing whatever contribution they make as their shared responsibility for the success of their marriage

ivyT:
U did d right thing nd stand ur ground.Finances causes alot of problem_iv witnessed it

am nt been bias_but MenAintWorthIt,

enoqueen:
One of the many mistakes we women make is allowing our men know that we av money.

U did not do anything wrong and let it remain so even after paying ur fees.

When men sees money with us, they will be coming up with different project that they cannot do alone just to make sure that we spend what we av.

vague:
That man might take you all the way to bankrupcy. You guys need to sit down and talk about boundaries. Let your money for school or anything else important be left untouched.

If he reckelessly spends his, he will just have to manage himself until he gets his next pay check. Unless of cause you are will to give him.

Besides he is the head of the house and he should be more responsible otherwise you will have several problems in the future.

You might have to look for a professional who will advise you on how to spend and save your money. If you work with a plan he might start being a responsible man was supposed to be all along.

Toks2008:


Trust me pal,i don't even know if you are married and the reason why i had a bad marriage is a topic for another day but the truth is that you are not communicating and i really hate it when people fail to be intellectually sound in articulating their opinionated views without a dint of vulgarity or social decorum.

Toks2008:

I am a man who was brought up in a whole different way and not one daddy's boy or mummy's boy who gets the toys he wanted or get that chocolate pack whenever daddy or mummy comes back from work. I did not school in those eyebrow institutions but today i am who i am and i can stand in the office of the number one citizen of this country or in any other exalted position with my face held up and i know my worth and my place and that is because of the inherent virtue that have guided me.

Toks2008:


I am a goal getter,an achiever,a man in every aspect and please do not expect me to be on the same page with your school of taught that believes that a woman MUST have a sharing formula in financing the home front.

A woman is not a or the bread winner neither was she ever designed to be one but a help mate,a succor,an assistant and these sums it up. Now here is my strong opinionated stands... No man should force,cajole or make it a responsibility for a lady to part with her money but if she will need to spend even a dime on the home front,it must be optional.

I am not making reference to a sudden twist of financial status for a man who now finds himself helpless and at the mercy of his wife but even in such situation please be dignified.

Toks2008:

I would rather borrow 50k in a whole month from my wife and from that 50k provide for her and the babies even if it means we will be eating beans all the way and in such cases if she decides to contribute more,it will be at her discretion but how can i be so broke and the next thing i do is start spending my wife's money as though its mine or go to her for money today and money tomorrow?

Toks2008:

Please i need reasonable guys in the house to feel my point. A financially buoyant lady should be a plus for a man but not what a man should clamor for or strive to have and even when im really compelled to run from financially dependent lady for now due to present situation,i still believe that it is indeed the duty of a man to provide for his woman even if she is the richest woman in the world and of-course for his family with WHATEVER HE HAS and if the woman in his life decides to help out fine,after-all they are our HELPERS but once a man consciously and officially starts sharing or delegating his manly duties tyo his wife then he should watch it because he is crossing that crazy line.

Toks2008:

IN MY PERSONAL OPINION,IT IS SICKENING,BARBARIC AND TOTALLY DEMEANING FOR A MAN TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS LET ALONE PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.

If you have problems with this please note..IT IS MY OPINION.

Fxwarrior:


'Family is a bigger achievement' than master's degree that will guarantee better future and income for the family? Guy to whom brain is given, sense is expected.

kilode100:


Nna, forget the poster and her wahala jare..

You do know you look very good and ever since I click on your profile, my life has not been the same. What I'm trying to say in case you're a novice is that I dig you

Just say hi and put this Lover girl out of her misery.

marriedvirgin:



sister let me advice you like I would advice someone close to me.Please there is a saying that not all truths are good to be said.I am even surprised that you exposed yourself to your husband to that level.Before you open your eyes you would realize that years have gone by without you achieving anything all because you marry husband.Please stop revealing your finances to him because it has even made him to take you for granted.You are his money bank.What if something happens between you two tomorrow ,how would your kids survive when you have no savings?Like the first poster said,men are not worth it.SAhe is right.Imagine a man who doesn't care of your plans but spends your money and tells you to forget about your exams.Hmmm you sef open your eyes na

Sabrwahaqqo:

Nigga, you're a genius!

wisdomiskey:


dont tlk 2 me wit dat same moufff yuh used 2 svck multiple slioooooongs silli hag

enoqueen:


What is this ode saying

Who be this one

Cant u share ur view without quoting me

FavorofGod:
My hubby and I have had no financial secrets since marriage. He uses my atm regularly and it's almost as though we operated a joint account. This has worked for us until recently.

Now the issue is this: I'm saving for my masters school fees(distance learning) which invoves thousands of pounds. I had to defer it last year due to financial constraints. So from the beginning of this year, I had already started making plans to pay. Hubby promised to assist but each time he puts away some money, something always comes up to make him use it up.

I wouldn't have minded much if it was just that, but he turns around to deplete my own savings, promising to pay when he has money. I know he has no other means of income and cannot fulfill that promise.As it stands now, I've not been able to save a dime, and my fees is due in 2 months.
So I told him he is on his own as far as this month and next month's salary is concerned, cos I'm saving every bit of it. Some money being owed me at my place of work for months now was finally paid me yesterday. I didn't want to tell him at first, but later did this morning.

He said he was disappointed, that I've started keeping secrets from him. That he only spent my money because he was broke and not out of carelessness. I told him there was a cause.

He spends money as he sees it, and does not believe in saving for the rainy day. He is not frivolous, but will start projects he had earlier shelved due to lack of money as soon as he sees money. For e.g, He has been talking about hosting a big time baby dedication, and the whole family travelling to the village next month for holiday, which are all capital intensive projects, when he knows he cannot fund it with his salary alone.

I think he wants me to allow him use my savings, then hope for a miracle to pay my fees. I know he's not commited to my academic pursuits, though he claims to. He once used up money I had saved for a proffessional exam, promising to pay b4 the closing date, only to tell me to forgett about an exam I had fully prepared for a day to the closing date because he couldn't raise the money. I had to run around to borrow and pay that same day.

So, ladies and gents, am I wrong to have barred him from touchingmy money for thisperiod or not? Should I stop telling him how much I have exactly? Share your thoughts.

enoqueen:
One of the many mistakes we women make is allowing our men know that we av money.

U did not do anything wrong and let it remain so even after paying ur fees.

When men sees money with us, they will be coming up with different project that they cannot do alone just to make sure that we spend what we av.

Kimoni:
My money is my money, his money is our money...

If he needs my money, strictly on my terms...

OP, if this is not ur mantra, it's difficult to start now else it will cause a lot of division in ur home. Like he already asked you "do you want to start keeping secrets from him?". I feel for you and wish I could advise you but it's a tough situation. You will have to apply wisdom and tread carefully.

I have never practised this joint spending for various reasons, one of which is that I married an impulsive spender too and I foresaw the potential challenges well ahead.

OdenigboAroli:


If you wanna go the route of unfounded generalisation then count on us to match you word for word. First off,most men are the primary bread winners in their family and we don't have any problem with that and will never complain but soon as a woman starts making her little money ,of which she mmostly use to buy designers items and is called upon to assist in the family financial responsibility all hell let loose. Most women are ffucking selfish and self centered.

FavorofGod:
My hubby and I have had no financial secrets since marriage. He uses my atm regularly and it's almost as though we operated a joint account. This has worked for us until recently.

Now the issue is this: I'm saving for my masters school fees(distance learning) which invoves thousands of pounds. I had to defer it last year due to financial constraints. So from the beginning of this year, I had already started making plans to pay. Hubby promised to assist but each time he puts away some money, something always comes up to make him use it up.

I wouldn't have minded much if it was just that, but he turns around to deplete my own savings, promising to pay when he has money. I know he has no other means of income and cannot fulfill that promise.As it stands now, I've not been able to save a dime, and my fees is due in 2 months.
So I told him he is on his own as far as this month and next month's salary is concerned, cos I'm saving every bit of it. Some money being owed me at my place of work for months now was finally paid me yesterday. I didn't want to tell him at first, but later did this morning.

He said he was disappointed, that I've started keeping secrets from him. That he only spent my money because he was broke and not out of carelessness. I told him there was a cause.

He spends money as he sees it, and does not believe in saving for the rainy day. He is not frivolous, but will start projects he had earlier shelved due to lack of money as soon as he sees money. For e.g, He has been talking about hosting a big time baby dedication, and the whole family travelling to the village next month for holiday, which are all capital intensive projects, when he knows he cannot fund it with his salary alone.

I think he wants me to allow him use my savings, then hope for a miracle to pay my fees. I know he's not commited to my academic pursuits, though he claims to. He once used up money I had saved for a proffessional exam, promising to pay b4 the closing date, only to tell me to forgett about an exam I had fully prepared for a day to the closing date because he couldn't raise the money. I had to run around to borrow and pay that same day.

So, ladies and gents, am I wrong to have barred him from touchingmy money for thisperiod or not? Should I stop telling him how much I have exactly? Share your thoughts.