₦airaland Forum

ylaa:
i strongly believe that the writer of this article has no money to pay his bride price.
receive the grace to do so.

onoja12:
slave mentality, anything the white man tells you is good but that of the black man is wrong, my friend wake up, going down on your knee to beg a woman to marry you, is that not an action of a slave

mencade5:
thank you very much.

this was the same thing i was thinking. they will dodge the issue of tithe yet go against this.one.


i tire for nigerians.

wrongnumber:
Is it about poverty? see me see wahala.

Honestly i can sell my properties to give a bride price on a lady i disvirgined and wants to marry or a lady i marry as a virgin,no wonder Abraham gave so much to rebekah.

A man can also pay a billion dollars in cash for a bride price of a love peddler if he so desires BUT THE SIMPLE TRUTH FROM THE BIBLE IS THAT NO PARENT SHOULD ASK FOR MONATARY BRIDE PRICE OR HAND OVER A LIST but if it has been a tradition all well and good but this tradition should not be too greedy and selfish to the extent that it will put a whole in the pockets of the groom.

This is not about poverty. Do you know how many guys out there that are sincerely ready to marry? A guy that makes 40k or 50k per month can manage to take care of a wife and even two kids while they pray for more blessing from GOD but for this man to marry he has to save up about 500k for owanbe,aso ebi and so on and in some eastern part, a man with 500k for marriage is a joker so tell me what happens next?

These guys wil just keep mum and start scrwng the ladies who wil not also complain because according to their dumb brain,the guy is not ready until they discover they are 30 and starts running from pillar to post.

Seventeen:
no mind am... D one wey surprise me pass is his attempt to change 50shekels to present day money.... Hahahaha.... Omo... na 0.001kobo he de plan gv d bride parents be dat ooo

hardbody:
I asked a simple question and you are still skirting it.

I repeat; what is the implication of taking Adam's rib to mold a wife for him? Was it impossible for God to take the dust of the earth and create another woman for him? I asked again, what does quid pro quo mean? in the context of the discourse, tie that in with the rib theory of Adam and Eve.

While at it, I am not aware that the Bible was at any point categorical about non-payment of bride price

Toks2008:
I honestly dont get your standview.

You are either a christian,muslim or pagan hence the need to adhere to the doctrines of your religion.

oh so its now that you agree that its tradition but probably would have concluded before now that its biblical.

Anyway my point is clear,i was not trying to say we should marry a lady for free and a paragraph in the write up made this clear.

My aim is to point out the fact as you also agreed that its man made tradition.

wrongnumber:
98% of every guy who wants to marry wants to pay bride price but when a tradition has turned to extortion,greedy self-centered people have taking advantage of the lies that Its even in the bible to ask for crazy bride price and hand over stwpid list then it becomes imperative that we tell them to dissociate the Bible from their greedy cravings and that is what i believe the OP[ have successful did.

I was at a restaurant yesterday night and i heard where some igbo women were going on and on talking about how expensive their daughters are and having just read this write up i asked them that why are they placing so much importance on bride price they never wasted a sec to answer that haha shebbi even the bible COMMANDS MEN to pay bride price and i felt like slapping them but kept mum to avoid baseless arguments. I pity the igbo ladies especially and that is why only 3 out of 10 will marry early while most of them end up from one man to another because no man is interested in wasting so much on a lady that have probably been with Emeka,chike,paul,yobo...

GOD bless the OP.

wrongnumber:
I am very sure you never read the Op write up.Please read again and very meticulously and i gue you will not be asking these rhetorical questions.

zeongeon:
Its funny how we guyz pay bride price for a girl who has slept with other guyz who didn't have to pay her bride price..They simply had her perform duties of a W.I.F.E (washing, ironing, fucking, etc.) for FREE.

To me the only time a man should pay bride price is when he is marrying a virgin and Not some girl that has bleeped all and every and they still give u list with 50tubers of yam, 2 he-goats, 10 cocks, 5 hens, 2bags of rice, 20 pieces of wrapper...u can add urs.

wrongnumber:
Except he is trying to marry an Igbo lady then maybe this assertion might be true but all i saw is an opinionated and intelligent writer.I have gone through his threads and i can see that he writes well from political matters to family and so on but in Nigeria we are always quick to relate a writer's perspective to his personal life and this is a sign of immaturity for those who do so.

deadZONE:
Nigerian families been selling their
kids since 1899...
am just saving money to buy my own slave.
i dont know why a civilized country would still be doing trash.


This FTC is dedicated to the lady under me, sorry i didnt know u where behind would have open the door for u to walk in first.

Adamsdelrio:
Whaooooo! Thank God my prospective inlaws are Christians. I'm gonna present these facts to them so that I can marry their daughter for free...

safarigirl:
my friend go and hustle money for bride price and stop wailing.

I bet you don't live by half the rules of the old testament all you moaning moaners are endorsing here. The only time the bible mentions marriage is where it stated that marriage can only be sanctioned by God when the father gives his daughter away.

If you can only take a wife via bride price, then pay it, afterall, even Jesus said give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's, so for all of you trying to use God's word to avoid traditional rites, don't forget that part of the bible.

Toks2008:
I want all the "My pastor said" to come on and argue these facts and i want the pastors and Bishops who preach contrary to come in and educate me more maybe there is something im missing.

Toks2008:
In many Countries, the issue of Bride price has been known to be a well grounded factor in determining your franchise over the lady.

In some parts of the world, this issue has been blown beyond proportion that huge money is usually asked by the Bride's parent and many suitors see this as very discouraging.

The amazing fact is that if you ask anyone why a bride price must be paid,they will be very quick to answer that GOD commanded it and even our pastors are quick to lay emphasis on this as a condition that must be met before a man and woman can be said to be married before GOD.

But is Bride price really a condition necessary for marriage? Can we say you are really married even if bride price have not been paid? Did GOD specifically lay down this as a law or was it man made tradition? Can Bride price be paid at anytime during the course of the couple living together as Man and wife? and is it proper for the bride's parents to present a list or ask for monetary bride price from the groom's family?

These shocking truths from the very Bible people use as yardstick for bride price will clear the air.


1. Bride price was never a commandment from GOD as a condition for marriage but only as a penalty for rape and in fact, you can still pay the Bride price and still be denied the woman to be your wife by the Father.

Lets read this from the book of exodus 22:16-17:
"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins."

Deuteronomy 22:28-29: "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman,for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.


2.Monetary bride is to be paid only on a virgin provided the man has slept with her before he decides to marry her but if the man has never slept with her,there should be no need to pay a dime on her.(Read again Exodus 22:16-17 above)


3.Even if a man meets a virgin and defiles her and decides to marry her,no man is expected to pay more than 50shekels of silver as a penalty and according to Google research, 50 shekels of silver is just about 15usd today so what is this madness going on where in some places a man is asked to pay hundreds and thousands for a lady who have probably slept with many men.

4.There was never ever a place in the Bible where GOD commanded the bride's parent to present a list but it is the groom's responsibility to bring whatever he dims fit for the lady he wants to marry.

The great example in the Bible was Isaac's marriage to Rebekah who was a virgin and there was no monetary exchange or penalty whatsoever between the two families but affordable gifts were giving to Rebekkah's family by Abraham but not demanded for by Rebekkah's family. Read Genesis 24:52-54.

5. Bride price according to the bible is all about virgins and all the references and bible verses all point to paying a penalty for defiling a virgin as well as giving gifts as Abraham did to Rebekah who also happen to be a virgin.

Genesis 24:15-16:Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor.The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

6.Payment of monetary bride price on ladies generally whether virgins or non virgins is a tradition and not a direct commandment from GOD and in some countries like india,its a woman that actually pays a dowry on the groom and not the other way round.


7.Presenting list or asking for monetary bride price from a man who conscientiously marries a lady is man made rule and not from GOD hence becomes a sin because its better to obey GOD rather than men.

Acts 5:29:Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than human beings!

Conclusively i would advice that we just flow with the fun fare and traditions of the land and pay the bride price to either the Father of the Bride or the Mother of any lady we want to marry even if she is a LovePeddler.

Nevertheless.outrageous monetary bride price or list must be discouraged because it is not even Biblical in the first place but only necessary to obey customs and traditions.

Even Prophet Mohamed(May the peace of GOD be upon him) has this to say:

"the most blessed marriage is one in which the marriage partners place the least burden on each other" (al-Haythami, Kitab ab-Nikah, 4:255).

My candid take.

Danhumprey:
I am not against bride. It's just unfortunate you misread me. Your father raised you as his daughter with his money and sweat. It will be understandable that whoever to marry you should pay a particular amount of money to your Dad as "commendation" for his patience and willingness to raise you up to who you are in your husband eyes. What I'm against is when your Dad chose to impose a huge amount of money on your head as bride price to whoever want to marry you. It lack sense and scares potential suitors away,thereby limiting on your chance of getting married.

I for one,if I have a daughter,I'll do my best to raise her up well and present her to whoever want to marry her. But I won't force any potential suitor to pay oustrageous amount as her bride price or to organize their wedding. In a nutshell,I'm not against bride price,but let's there be moderation. Simple.

engrolawei:
If you think what you wrote applies, try your luck and see if any man will give out his daughter to you for free. I am a father and I know what it takes to have your daughter around you and I paid a bride price for my wife. Why will you spend heavily on drinks and food and you want to skip bride price? It shows you dont value the woman.

Toks2008:
In many Countries, the issue of Bride price has been known to be a well grounded factor in determining your franchise over the lady.

In some parts of the world, this issue has been blown beyond proportion that huge money is usually asked by the Bride's parent and many suitors see this as very discouraging.

The amazing fact is that if you ask anyone why a bride price must be paid,they will be very quick to answer that GOD commanded it and even our pastors are quick to lay emphasis on this as a condition that must be met before a man and woman can be said to be married before GOD.

But is Bride price really a condition necessary for marriage? Can we say you are really married even if bride price have not been paid? Did GOD specifically lay down this as a law or was it man made tradition? Can Bride price be paid at anytime during the course of the couple living together as Man and wife? and is it proper for the bride's parents to present a list or ask for monetary bride price from the groom's family?

These shocking truths from the very Bible people use as yardstick for bride price will clear the air.


1. Bride price was never a commandment from GOD as a condition for marriage but only as a penalty for rape and in fact, you can still pay the Bride price and still be denied the woman to be your wife by the Father.

Lets read this from the book of exodus 22:16-17:
"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins."

Deuteronomy 22:28-29: "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman,for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.


2.Monetary bride is to be paid only on a virgin provided the man has slept with her before he decides to marry her but if the man has never slept with her,there should be no need to pay a dime on her.(Read again Exodus 22:16-17 above)


3.Even if a man meets a virgin and defiles her and decides to marry her,no man is expected to pay more than 50shekels of silver as a penalty and according to Google research, 50 shekels of silver is just about 15usd today so what is this madness going on where in some places a man is asked to pay hundreds and thousands for a lady who have probably slept with many men.

4.There was never ever a place in the Bible where GOD commanded the bride's parent to present a list but it is the groom's responsibility to bring whatever he dims fit for the lady he wants to marry.

The great example in the Bible was Isaac's marriage to Rebekah who was a virgin and there was no monetary exchange or penalty whatsoever between the two families but affordable gifts were giving to Rebekkah's family by Abraham but not demanded for by Rebekkah's family. Read Genesis 24:52-54.

5. Bride price according to the bible is all about virgins and all the references and bible verses all point to paying a penalty for defiling a virgin as well as giving gifts as Abraham did to Rebekah who also happen to be a virgin.

Genesis 24:15-16:Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor.The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

6.Payment of monetary bride price on ladies generally whether virgins or non virgins is a tradition and not a direct commandment from GOD and in some countries like india,its a woman that actually pays a dowry on the groom and not the other way round.


7.Presenting list or asking for monetary bride price from a man who conscientiously marries a lady is man made rule and not from GOD hence becomes a sin because its better to obey GOD rather than men.

Acts 5:29:Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than human beings!

Conclusively i would advice that we just flow with the fun fare and traditions of the land and pay the bride price to either the Father of the Bride or the Mother of any lady we want to marry even if she is a LovePeddler.

Nevertheless.outrageous monetary bride price or list must be discouraged because it is not even Biblical in the first place but only necessary to obey customs and traditions.

Even Prophet Mohamed(May the peace of GOD be upon him) has this to say:

"the most blessed marriage is one in which the marriage partners place the least burden on each other" (al-Haythami, Kitab ab-Nikah, 4:255).

My candid take.

Adamsdelrio:
Whaooooo! Thank God my prospective inlaws are Christians. I'm gonna present these facts to them so that I can marry their daughter for free...

halfrica:
Shall you learn to mind your own business?

wrongnumber:
Except he is trying to marry an Igbo lady then maybe this assertion might be true but all i saw is an opinionated and intelligent writer.I have gone through his threads and i can see that he writes well from political matters to family and so on but in Nigeria we are always quick to relate a writer's perspective to his personal life and this is a sign of immaturity for those who do so.

safarigirl:
I can never give my daughter out to any man complaining of bride price. If you can't afford it,.then you can't afford a family.

I will never marry my daughter off to such a man. If you have to bytch and moan before you can do what has been done for ages then you're not man eenough. Did the 98% of guys that can't afford bride price think they'll abolish it when they want to marry?

People should save for marriage early on. When you start dating, you should start saving for a marriage, or you put off dating till you can afford one. Don't tell me you can't afford it when it's time. What have you been doing since? Abi no be your age mates dey marry? Are they superhuman? That's like knowing you have an exam, but you choose.to not read hoping the exam will be scrapped.

Lack of preparation is not an excuse. If you know in the next 3 years, you can't afford a marriage if it comes up, then don't date.

I have many terrible stories about men who can't afford families and still get married. None of them is encouraging, so I loathe this entire idea of skipping bride price. In fact, if I can, I would make sure the man pays me every dime I spent on her education cuz I know I would stand to gain more from a single working class daughter than a married one.

Toks2008:
This is an intellectual forum and not hostel discussion.

Seventeen:
Charity begins at home, i know OP has sisters and female cousins, and i hope they were all given out or will be given out for 15 shekels of silver (lol... By d way, ds really cracks me up just typing it). If not he can come back and tell us when he has successfully changed his family's mindset, then maybe our own families will follow suit...... Lol..(still chuckling @ 15 shekels of silver)
Mnwhile
I hope OP keeps all the zillions of other laws in deuteronomy alone talk more of d whole old testament.... Hnmmmmm, odikwa risky

Toks2008:
In many Countries, the issue of Bride price has been known to be a well grounded factor in determining your franchise over the lady.

In some parts of the world, this issue has been blown beyond proportion that huge money is usually asked by the Bride's parent and many suitors see this as very discouraging.

The amazing fact is that if you ask anyone why a bride price must be paid,they will be very quick to answer that GOD commanded it and even our pastors are quick to lay emphasis on this as a condition that must be met before a man and woman can be said to be married before GOD.

But is Bride price really a condition necessary for marriage? Can we say you are really married even if bride price have not been paid? Did GOD specifically lay down this as a law or was it man made tradition? Can Bride price be paid at anytime during the course of the couple living together as Man and wife? and is it proper for the bride's parents to present a list or ask for monetary bride price from the groom's family?

These shocking truths from the very Bible people use as yardstick for bride price will clear the air.


1. Bride price was never a commandment from GOD as a condition for marriage but only as a penalty for rape and in fact, you can still pay the Bride price and still be denied the woman to be your wife by the Father.

Lets read this from the book of exodus 22:16-17:
"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins."

Deuteronomy 22:28-29: "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman,for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.


2.Monetary bride is to be paid only on a virgin provided the man has slept with her before he decides to marry her but if the man has never slept with her,there should be no need to pay a dime on her.(Read again Exodus 22:16-17 above)


3.Even if a man meets a virgin and defiles her and decides to marry her,no man is expected to pay more than 50shekels of silver as a penalty and according to Google research, 50 shekels of silver is just about 15usd today so what is this madness going on where in some places a man is asked to pay hundreds and thousands for a lady who have probably slept with many men.

4.There was never ever a place in the Bible where GOD commanded the bride's parent to present a list but it is the groom's responsibility to bring whatever he dims fit for the lady he wants to marry.

The great example in the Bible was Isaac's marriage to Rebekah who was a virgin and there was no monetary exchange or penalty whatsoever between the two families but affordable gifts were giving to Rebekkah's family by Abraham but not demanded for by Rebekkah's family. Read Genesis 24:52-54.

5. Bride price according to the bible is all about virgins and all the references and bible verses all point to paying a penalty for defiling a virgin as well as giving gifts as Abraham did to Rebekah who also happen to be a virgin.

Genesis 24:15-16:Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor.The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

6.Payment of monetary bride price on ladies generally whether virgins or non virgins is a tradition and not a direct commandment from GOD and in some countries like india,its a woman that actually pays a dowry on the groom and not the other way round.


7.Presenting list or asking for monetary bride price from a man who conscientiously marries a lady is man made rule and not from GOD hence becomes a sin because its better to obey GOD rather than men.

Acts 5:29:Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than human beings!

Conclusively i would advice that we just flow with the fun fare and traditions of the land and pay the bride price to either the Father of the Bride or the Mother of any lady we want to marry even if she is a LovePeddler.

Nevertheless.outrageous monetary bride price or list must be discouraged because it is not even Biblical in the first place but only necessary to obey customs and traditions.

Even Prophet Mohamed(May the peace of GOD be upon him) has this to say:

"the most blessed marriage is one in which the marriage partners place the least burden on each other" (al-Haythami, Kitab ab-Nikah, 4:255).

My candid take.