freecocoa:
Ofcourse I understood you the first time, it's okay to be a liar and a cheat so long as one isn't married, I'm just a little confused on how someone with such mindset can be claiming to be a child of God, talking about his grace and all, oh! Wait, I gerrit, hypocrisy at its finest.

hahaha. Freecocoa, I have known you on NL for a long time. I ran away from Family and Romance section, when I found out that most advice given there are more from the heart than the head.
Life and reality is what it is. I begin to narrate how many heart breaks tales I have heard from guys and some ladies and even some I have experienced and equally dished out. You may start feeling sorry for me and my guys woes.
Morality is one thing and real life experiences and decisions are another. Call me a hypocrite, if you must. But we humans are selfish in nature. And we make those decisions we think favors us most.
.
"If man wants to be good all the time, he will come to ruin against the multitude of men who are not good"
N. Machiavelli.

What would you be gaining from exposing him? Did he promise you marriage
U have just been played. Deal with it!

eme40rald:
Hello nairalanders

It is with sadness and hurt that I decided to ask guidance on what action I should take with regards to the event that happened in my life.

I met a guy two years ago and fell in love with him wholeheartedly in fact he is my first love. the relationship was fun and romantic. I lost my innocence to him. Although there were times I had suspicions and I would confront him about it but he always found a way to clear my suspicions. One issue I always felt bad about was that he never took me to his family. As at the beginning of the relationship about a month into it his sister got married and I was not invited I felt maybe it was too early and shrugged it off. he never used my pictures as dp claiming he doesn't feel its proper until we are married. apart from all these he was a sweet and loving man. we were like best friends.

Fast forward to two years later I did something I had never done before. I searched his phone while he was asleep and what I discovered was a blow for me. He was in another relationship!!! I stole the girl's contact and disguised as his colleague just to get information from her with time she was free with me. I discovered they had been dating for seven years and she lived in another state. just last week he said he was travelling for a business event only for me to find out he went for his introduction to her family.

confronted him and he has been begging me to forgive him.

Kind hearted nairalanders please what do I do? should I expose him to the girl or not.

Plz don't fast forward stories and don't do something you have never done before. Most importantly, don't allow him have some sleep because if he had not slept, you wouldn't have had any problem.

I tink Sunday Oliseh should invite him

Samfigo1:
I wonder why some people keep on asking for advice on something they can use their initiative s for. . . Nawaao!

God bless ur comment jere broda.
Must everythn b brought to d public 4 advice?
As if she's gonna get d best advice sef...

jemimaa01:
If it were me,I'd expose him(yes I'm that wicked what a wicked man,two timing he-goat..my dear,pls tell his fiancee,you wld be doing her some good.

and wat will DT change? if you care yo know,exposing him to his fiancee won't do you any good nor do the prospective couple any harm. All you have to do now,that you know that he is just playing you is to cut off ur relationship with him,take your time to heal the wound,and get urself busy with something and believe you!me, ur real man is on his way...

jemimaa01:
you cant be too sure his fiancee wld stand by him..every normal thinking lady wouldn't anyway...yes,she has been played,and exactly because she doesn't have anything to lose,she shld tell the other lady!

Which woman is normal thinking? Lol

eme40rald:
Hello nairalanders

It is with sadness and hurt that I decided to ask guidance on what action I should take with regards to the event that happened in my life..

A word of advice:

Seek less of PUBLIC opinion in your PRIVATE affairs...

Follow ur intuition (if u av any) in most/all things...b ready to face d consequences 4 ur actions.

A clear intuition sees clearer than 10 watchmen on a high tower...

eagleeye2:


hahaha. Freecocoa, I have known you on NL for a long time. I ran away from Family and Romance section, when I found out that most advice given there are more from the heart than the head.
Life and reality is what it is. I begin to narrate how many heart breaks tales I have heard from guys and some ladies and even some I have experienced and equally dished out. You may start feeling sorry for me and my guys woes.
Morality is one thing and real life experiences and decisions are another. Call me a hypocrite, if you must. But we humans are selfish in nature. And we make those decisions we think favors us most.
.
"If man wants to be good all the time, he will come to ruin against the multitude of men who are not good"
N. Machiavelli.

We all have our tales but that shouldn't be justification for cheating is all I'm trying to say, there's no planet where cheating can be said to be okay, I can't tell a person how to be moral, one can decide to be sleeping with a dozen people all at once and that's fine, so long as all parties involved are in the know, and for all you know, I may be a cheat myself, doesn't mean it's okay, I'm just not of the opinion that it can be justified.

AreaFada2:


My brother, ehn. Serious John Player Gold Leaf I swear.

@OP, sorry o. Such is life.

But after two years together, you should have known some of his family members, haba!

You didn't want to accept reality because you certainly suspected things were not straight.

But when in love, one ignores many things.

Better for you to move on, albeit painfully.
Do you want to ruin another lady's joy? Would it stop her marrying him? He can claim you were just "his mistake". Why hurt yourself even more? Luckily you're not like 7 months preggy or already have a kid. Dust yourself up and move on.

My brother? guy I'm a lady o

Expose him on what? Dat he's bin double dating? Comon dat one na new thing ?won't change nothing so just save ursef the stress n move on with ur life.

freecocoa:
We all have our tales but that shouldn't be justification for cheating .

I'm just not of the opinion that it can be justified.

My dear, I havn't justified cheating. Ok. Assuming the lady has not lost her virginity to this man and she dated the man for two years without the man seeing her pants. Yet the man moved on to marry his fiancee of 7 years, will it be tagged CHEATING?.
Or are you saying the lady never heard a 'friendly' conversation with another man within those two years?

eme40rald:
Hello nairalanders

It is with sadness and hurt that I decided to ask guidance on what action I should take with regards to the event that happened in my life.

I met a guy two years ago and fell in love with him wholeheartedly in fact he is my first love. the relationship was fun and romantic. I lost my innocence to him. Although there were times I had suspicions and I would confront him about it but he always found a way to clear my suspicions. One issue I always felt bad about was that he never took me to his family. As at the beginning of the relationship about a month into it his sister got married and I was not invited I felt maybe it was too early and shrugged it off. he never used my pictures as dp claiming he doesn't feel its proper until we are married. apart from all these he was a sweet and loving man. we were like best friends.

Fast forward to two years later I did something I had never done before. I searched his phone while he was asleep and what I discovered was a blow for me. He was in another relationship!!! I stole the girl's contact and disguised as his colleague just to get information from her with time she was free with me. I discovered they had been dating for seven years and she lived in another state. just last week he said he was travelling for a business event only for me to find out he went for his introduction to her family.

confronted him and he has been begging me to forgive him.

Kind hearted nairalanders please what do I do? should I expose him to the girl or not.

[size=28pt]EXPOSE THE TRUTH TO HIS OTHER GIRLFRIEND, BECAUSE HE USED BOTH OF YOU AND MUST HAVE BEEN BRAGGING TO HIS BUDDIES HOW HE FOOLED YOU.

ONLY EVIL PEOPLE HIDE THE TRUTH THAT WILL SHAME THE DEVIL AND HIS EVIL AGENTS. EXPOSE EVERY LIE OF THE EVIL LIAR TO SAVE OTHERS BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. [/size]

HDee:
if you expose him, will it change anything?? he's your first love. Look, you gotta live with it and move on, I'm sure you're gonna meet someone worth your louve.

i really appreciate ur contribution. More so, ladies don't be blindfold by money or influence. Whenever you are in relationship and after a three to six month and u still discover u are not with each other, u have to start searching for ur freedom. In your own case, most of the blames go to u cos u saw it coming, u got the information u need from d lady on the fact that they ve been in a long time relationship. And i want u to know that no lady in Nigeria will agree to lay off her guy of 7yrs, the world outside that relationship is like a strange world to her. So, take heart, learn from ur own mistakes and move on. From ur letter, is obvious u have a lot to learn. Don't be too forward and don't be to reluctant, relationship is like stock market and we are the investors, u ve get to keep daily on the direction it goes and know how to balance ur investment. Your portfolio should only be made up of one man then varieties o character, dresses, makeup etc,

The goats are all over this forum displaying their prowess at finishing the yams in the barn.

My lady Op smile cos God loves you

eagleeye2:

My dear, I havn't justified cheating. Ok. Assuming the lady has not lost her virginity to this man and she dated the man for two years without the man seeing her pants. Yet the man moved on to marry his fiancee of 7 years, will it be tagged CHEATING?.

You clearly have, by saying that fidelity only counts in marriage.

Yes it is cheating, cheating isn't just about sex, how can you not know that?

Dis is why I kept saying it, virginity or not, the mind knows where it belongs. He may not meet that other gal as a virgin den, but he was not down with your virginity.. if u are a virgin, fine God bless you and if u are not, don't feel bad just work on ursef to be someone a guy is dying to take home. N for the virgins, a man disvirgined u does not make u fit into his life as a wife. Sso be wise n work on ursef too

freecocoa:
You clearly have, by saying that fidelity only counts in marriage.

Yes it is cheating, cheating isn't just about sex, how can you not know that?

So this OP, didn't laugh at the joke of another man in those two years? She didn't hang out with another man in those two years (even if it was just to hear him out)? This lady didn't recieve a call, text or chat with another man in those two years?
Or did she tell her 'lover' now ex everythig that happened in her life within those two years?
.
How then am I justifying CHEATING if she ever did any of these? That is why am saying the head and not the heart.
Love is Subjective.

You just stated that they have been dating for the past seven years. Do you think that exposing him will put an end to their marriage plans? The guy messed up but all you have to do is try to put yourself together and move on with your live.

DatBossAssChick:
Expose that M****RFUCKER!! But with evidence, so he doesn't go about breaking other girls heart. He just played a fast one on you.

Just checked your profile, thinking I'd see a "BossAss"

wet & monitor dea wddn day,,do it codedly, keep bein his wife's frnd,,alwes ask her abt dea weddn,,if u suceed knwin d exact date,,b dea on dat faithful day as a boss rdy 2die,,dat moment d priest wuld say, any1 here dat hs anitin egenst dis mrrg shuld proceed 4wrd wt his/she reasons or keep silnt 4eva,dat d best tym 4u 2 tel d congregation hw he crippled & damaged ur emotional eco,,dat'll hurt him so bad,,gudlck bby,,

[quote author=pet4ril post=37210442]Dis is why I kept saying it, virginity or not, the mind knows where it belongs. He may not meet that other gal as a virgin den, but he was not down with your virginity.. if u are a virgin, fine God bless you and if u are not, don't feel bad just work on ursef to be someone a guy is dying to take home. N for the virgins, a man disvirgined u does not make u fit into his life as a wife. Sso be wise n work on ursef too[/

you just proved your maturity. Please let them know that only infinitesimal guys out there care about virginity.

Let her know..... coz he is playing you both..... Stupid selfish being.
Yes,move on with your life. But still let her know the type of man shes getting married to. Theyve been together for 7yrs so what? Didnt he know he had a relationship with someone else before starting up a new one?

Hmmmm...OP take hard, so sad...there is no need to report.

DTOBS:

and wat will DT change? if you care yo know,exposing him to his fiancee won't do you any good nor do the prospective couple any harm. All you have to do now,that you know that he is just playing you is to cut off ur relationship with him,take your time to heal the wound,and get urself busy with something and believe you!me, ur real man is on his way...

that's not true,exposing him wld do the relationship every bit of harm except the girl isn't normal,pls tell me you won't react.in a bad way if u find out that your bae of 7years has been seeing another dude for the past 2years,and you're even a guy.

like I said earlier,call me wicked,but exposing him wld be the only way I wld heal..you need to look at it.from a woman's perspective if you're to understand my view on this issue..

francizy:


Lol, she came here looking for pity when she must have turned down the advances of a guy that truly loved her and opted for a player/liar.

OP gerrara here and go settle your issue offline because no be we push you into this dilemma.

Onwelu ike obu na nwata nwoke afu ji ego. Imana umu nwanyi ejiro anya afu nwoke ji nku.

eme40rald:
Hello nairalanders

It is with sadness and hurt that I decided to ask guidance on what action I should take with regards to the event that happened in my life.

I met a guy two years ago and fell in love with him wholeheartedly in fact he is my first love. the relationship was fun and romantic. I lost my innocence to him. Although there were times I had suspicions and I would confront him about it but he always found a way to clear my suspicions. One issue I always felt bad about was that he never took me to his family. As at the beginning of the relationship about a month into it his sister got married and I was not invited I felt maybe it was too early and shrugged it off. he never used my pictures as dp claiming he doesn't feel its proper until we are married. apart from all these he was a sweet and loving man. we were like best friends.

Fast forward to two years later I did something I had never done before. I searched his phone while he was asleep and what I discovered was a blow for me. He was in another relationship!!! I stole the girl's contact and disguised as his colleague just to get information from her with time she was free with me. I discovered they had been dating for seven years and she lived in another state. just last week he said he was travelling for a business event only for me to find out he went for his introduction to her family.

confronted him and he has been begging me to forgive him.

Kind hearted nairalanders please what do I do? should I expose him to the girl or not.

My dear, I know it's not easy, but I would just advise you to move on. Don't bother exposing him, leave him to God and you know the other girl already tot u are his colleague, besides he mite apologise to her and she mite forgive him, and you mite start blaming urself dat u shld have let go. So pls jst let go and move on, God will surely heal you from the pain and the hurt.

olalat:
I guess u are still in ur early 20s. U mean a nija lady will abandon her fiancee of more than 7yrs cos one side chick mk one sporous allegation! Dey there. Normal lady my yansh. Some 1 dt jst got introduced. Lol.

you sef dey there,I pity any lady that wld hold on to a liar amd cheat just because they've been at it for seven years,your suffering, hmm...it isn't sporous,the guy has been dating this gurl for 2yrs,not 2months,that's serious if you ask a sensible person( but of course we won't ask you )

men do not understand these things and that's because often times than not,the ladies are at the receiving end....

and pls what's wrong with being in your twenties?? broda agbalagba,you were once in your twenties and if you werent this wise then,doesn't mean pple aren't sharp at twenty..

If u like do what u want to do but the real fact is that the guy is just using u to cool his temper because the other girl is not around and mind u if u talk to the other she will not quit because of u (husband is scarce) so my advice is for u to quit

jemimaa01:
that's not true,exposing him wld do the relationship every bit of harm except the girl isn't normal,pls tell me you won't react.in a bad way if u find out that your bae of 7years has been seeing another dude for the past 2years,and you're even a guy.

like I said earlier,call me wicked,but exposing him wld be the only way I wld heal..you need to look at it.from a woman's perspective if you're to understand my view on this issue..

I quite agree with you that the babe is going to flare up hearing the news that his man is having an affair with someone else. But I tell you of a truth,that the wahala won't last beyond 24hours cos 1. they've don their introduction. 2. Ask the jilted girl,has the guy proposed to her? No! 3. There is nothing that the guy tends to loose in this case. 4. The babe will have to succumb to pressure from families and friends to just bone the side of that gal since her husband-to-be never proposed to the gal...I hope u re getting my point.
Finally,na Naija we dey,d gal don dey the relationship for the past 7years,u now expect her to leave just because she heard that her fiance is cheating on her? Hell no, oko won lode mehn!

Atk1nson:

....make love nor war?

sometimes the world needs a little war!

Orkpekyandega:


That is how you girls give your most expensive VIRTUE or BIRTHRIGHT carelessly and effortlessly to these goal diggers under the guise that he promised this, he was a sweet lover , he was romantic , he was so caring, bla bla bla. Why are you complaining now? when almost every Young man and some heartless runs girls who have already known that theirs have been taken away so cheaply including those on NL, nowadays wants you to believe that VIRGINITY longer matters and you concured. I am so sure he did not rape you. You both enjoyed it and he must have also given you some mòñèý which I know is not worth your PRECIOUS VIRGINITY.
By the time you marry, you may likely lie to your husband that you were raped, pressured or harrassed. And for the young man he shall surely reap what he has sowed more than a thousand fold.
So please don't come here and cry foul for giving away something that you believe and the likes of you want every innocent young boy and girl to feel is not important in this present century. Please be happy, you only gave out something that is worthless to that worthless fellow. For stealing what rightfully belongs to another man, he shall never see peace in that marriage because he never sowed once. How I wish all cheaters marry CHRONIC CHEATS. Even if the lady he is about to marry is the faithful type, she may surely taKe another man's rod and end up becoming a cheat because he sowed same.
Am waiting to reply those who will come asking if I had never sinned before or if am perfect?
Sonofananimal over to you, what does your mention owe this thread or post?

I AM TELLING YOU,
SHE MOST HAVE SEEN IT COMING, BUT PLAY ALONG WITH IT CLAIMING IT WAS ROMANTIC, LITTLE DID THERE KNOW THAT ROMANTIC ALWAYS END WITH TRAGEDY.

WOMEN!!!
AND SHE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT THE MONEY PART WHICH SHE MOST HAVE GAIN ALOT, BUT STILL PUTTING MORE CONCERN OF HER VIRGINITY AS IF SHE DIDN'T ENJOY THE SEX.