Hello Nairaland! This is my first post I've been on Nairaland for a long time but I've never real felt the need to post anything before but this topic was paining me and confusing me at the same time.

As a bonefide Naija babe (REPRESENT), I made up my mind that when I am ready to marry, I MUST marry a Nigerian guy or I would rather die single (nothing wrong with this sha). The only issue I'm encountering thus far is that the Nigerian guys I've met are very misogynistic I don't even understand why. Growing up I was told that as a child of God I could do ANYTHING but I suppose that Nigerian male ego trumps God's word

So this is a question to all the Alpha-Males out there! Why do you believe that women are less than you? I didn't grow up with this ideology at home and neither did my brothers so I would like some clarification!!

Please remember to be respectful in your answer pleeease! No insults because it's not necessary for healthy discussion. patiently waiting for answers!

I don't even understand the grammar at first. That is just the believe of many guys out there that there women is lass than them but a real guy always believes that they are both equal

First of all.. this is what we, the feminists are fighting against. In the Nigerian environment there is discrimination against women. African men in general have the Alpha-like feeling that they are the boss of the boss.

And they present it in a way that women are lesser than they are. It's true. Even in the economy, the top positions in offices are run by Men, even major paying jobs are run by Men. Women are mostly traders (Petty) why?

All government offices are headed by Men. In fact I heard a news that a state in South East Nigeria appointed a Man to head women affairs. How long would this continue?

A guy does a favor for you, he expects a Mouth Action. Why?

They feel when they marry you they are doing you are favor. WTF?

If a girl express her feelings towards a guy she cares about.. she is cheap.

I was at an event last week and a guy requested my contact info and I was hesitant in releasing it to him then he offered me money. Why? Like I'm some LovePeddler? Most men have the idea that all women are prostitutes. .direct and indirect that we all love money. It's rude and disrespectful but who cares? It's Men's world.

A girl is raped they blame the girl for her dressing and no one blames the guy. Continue.. there is God.

No one cares about a girl's opinion in a conversation once 3 guys have spoken.. whether it's good or bad it's settled.

I do not blame these men because women are in the shadows. It's time to start fighting for our place in the society and stop feeding them that ego or giving them the chance to feel on top.

So @Op, not Nigeria alone. .it's everywhere.

If you want to get married make sure you use brute force.

Vinshu:
.

hmmmm

DNA in male sense has been corrupted since the time of Adam. I think he is in best position to educate us..

Vinshu:
First of all.. this is what we, the feminists are fighting against. In the Nigerian environment there is discrimination against women. African men in general have the Alpha-like feeling that they are the boss of the boss.

And they present it in a way that women are lesser than they are. It's true. Even in the economy, the top positions in offices are run by Men, even major paying jobs are run by Men. Women are mostly traders (Petty) why?

All government offices are headed by Men. In fact I heard a news that a state in South East Nigeria appointed a Man to head women affairs. How long would this continue?

A guy does a favor for you, he expects a Mouth Action. Why?

They feel when they marry you they are doing you are favor. WTF?

If a girl express her feelings towards a guy she cares about.. she is cheap.

I was at an event last week and a guy requested my contact info and I was hesitant in releasing it to him then he offered me money. Why? Like I'm some LovePeddler? Most men have the idea that all women are prostitutes. .direct and indirect that we all love money. It's rude and disrespectful but who cares? It's Men's world.

A girl is raped they blame the girl for her dressing and no one blames the guy. Continue.. there is God.

No one cares about a girl's opinion in a conversation once 3 guys have spoken.. whether it's good or bad it's settled.

I do not blame these men because women are in the shadows. It's time to start fighting for our place in the society and stop feeding them that ego or giving them the chance to feel on top.

So @Op, not Nigeria alone. .it's everywhere.

If you want to get married make sure you use brute force.

am sorry to say but you need to have an open mind and stop generalisation about guys.

why would a man do you a favor and expect a mouth action. is it all guys that behave this way.........if you dont want to find yourself in such situation, then stop accepting favors.

why will you say when a lady is raped , the blame goes to her for indecent dressing.......if you go through the threads about rape on NL, no one ever blames the lady because rape is babaric and should never be condoned. everyone here(guys and ladiez) condems rape

you dont need to be bias about this. ladies have a good place in this modern society, maybe not enough but a good place.

the make up and roles of a woman/mother/wife sometimes makes it difficult for her to find herself in some very high/stressful/tasking/time consuming positions men occupy.

ilobasama:
am sorry to say but you need to have an open mind and stop generalisation about guys.

why would a man do you a favor and expect a mouth action. is it all guys that behave this way.........if you dont want to find yourself in such situation, then stop accepting favors.

why will you say when a lady is raped , the blame goes to her for indecent dressing.......if you go through the threads about rape on NL, no one ever blames the lady because rape is babaric and should never be condoned. everyone here(guys and ladiez) condems rape

you dont need to be bias about this. ladies have a good place in this modern society, maybe not enough but a good place.

the make up and roles of a woman/mother/wife sometimes makes it difficult for her to find herself in some very high/stressful/tasking/time consuming positions men occupy.

So you are not in the category of guys the op is talking about?

When a lady wants to reap where she did not sow and a guy resists her she calls him a misogynist, uncaring, stingy, etc. When a guy treats you like his equal by asking you to pay your share of the bill, you say he is not a gentleman that he should pick up the bill LIKE A MAN. When it's time to move heavy furniture or switch on the generator or fix a simple gadget in the office or at home, the women ask the men to do "their job". The weirdest is when two lovers are walking on the road and the woman expects the man to shield her from traffic with his body.

Women are the champions of gender-based roles yet they blame men for inequality. What do you women really want?

Vinshu:


So you are not in the category of guys the op is talking about?

you dont even know me. never ever met me yet you have categorised me.........feminists. be open minded please

ilobasama:
am sorry to say but you need to have an open mind and stop generalisation about guys.

why would a man do you a favor and expect a mouth action. is it all guys that behave this way.........if you dont want to find yourself in such situation, then stop accepting favors.

why will you say when a lady is raped , the blame goes to her for indecent dressing.......if you go through the threads about rape on NL, no one ever blames the lady because rape is babaric and should never be condoned. everyone here(guys and ladiez) condems rape

you dont need to be bias about this. ladies have a good place in this modern society, maybe not enough but a good place.

the make up and roles of a woman/mother/wife sometimes makes it difficult for her to find herself in some very high/stressful/tasking/time consuming positions men occupy.

To tell you the truth, I don't think she was generalizing at all. From what I've seen, there are people who unfortunately believe that rape is a woman's fault especially on Nairaland. And also a lot of guys do feel that most girls can be bought over with money. Then after attracting chicks via money, they start complaining of golddiggers. Shaking my head lolll

BeastOfNoNation:


To tell you the truth, I don't think she was generalizing at all. From what I've seen, there are people who unfortunately believe that rape is a woman's fault especially on Nairaland. And also a lot of guys do feel that most girls can be bought over with money. Then after attracting chicks via money, they start complaining of golddiggers. Shaking my head lolll

she did. anyway you ve got her back, fellow feminists.

ilobasama:
she did. anyway you ve got her back, fellow feminists.

Is being feminist a bad thing?

AfroKnight:
When a lady wants to reap where she did not sow and a guy resists her she calls him a misogynist, uncaring, stingy, etc. When a guy treats you like his equal by asking you to pay your share of the bill, you say he is not a gentleman that he should pick up the bill LIKE A MAN. When it's time to move heavy furniture or switch on the generator or fix a simple gadget in the office or at home, the women ask the men to do "their job". The weirdest is when two lovers are walking on the road and the woman expects the man to shield her from traffic with his body.

Women are the champions of gender-based roles yet they blame men for inequality. What do you women really want?

I love this

Adolak:

I love this

But this doesn't apply to me and any of the girls I know so how's this supposed to represent all women if it doesn't?

BeastOfNoNation:


To tell you the truth, I don't think she was generalizing at all. From what I've seen, there are people who unfortunately believe that rape is a woman's fault especially on Nairaland. And also a lot of guys do feel that most girls can be bought over with money. Then after attracting chicks via money, they start complaining of golddiggers. Shaking my head lolll

Rape is not a woman's fault but let's tell the truth, if you leave your house and don't lock the doors you are going to get robbed. Sure, you leaving your door unlocked doesn't give anybody the right to enter your house but you could have avoided the whole thing by locking the door. The same thing applies to rape (the one caused by indecent dressing). There is no excuse for someone raping another person but you can avoid it by dressing proper.

Honestly, I don't blame guys that think this way. It's their parents I blame and the parents before them.

As a guy growing up, I was always taught basically that girls are inferior. It's as I grew up I realised that that is very wrong.

Even girls are taught to be inferior by their parents.

It's sad really. It's very difficult to change an idea that you grew up believing in.

Nigeria is a very backward country and we still hold on to traditions and culture that are very archaic. Tell me how a man will not see his wife as inferior after he technically BOUGHT her from her parents.

Bride Price

gj22:


Rape is not a woman's fault but let's tell the truth, if you leave your house and don't lock the doors you are going to get robbed. Sure, you leaving your door unlocked doesn't give anybody the right to enter your house but you could have avoided the whole thing by locking the door. The same thing applies to rape (the one caused by indecent dressing). There is no excuse for someone raping another person but you can avoid it by dressing proper.

I don't 100% agree with your opinion. I definitely think some degree of modesty is important but rapist will rape no matter what in Saudi Arabia where women are covered from head to toe, there is still rape. They manage to blame the woman and say her ankles tempted them. So let's focus more on stopping and punishing rapists. I live in Canada and the immodest dressing here is on another level! But rape is taken very seriously so the rate of sexual assault here is pretty low.

gj22:
Honestly, I don't blame guys that think this way. It's their parents I blame and the parents before them.

As a guy growing up, I was always taught basically that girls are inferior. It's as I grew up I realised that that is very wrong.

Even girls are taught to be inferior by their parents.

It's sad really. It's very difficult to change an idea that you grew up believing in.

Nigeria is a very backward country and we still hold on to traditions and culture that are very archaic. Tell me how a man will not see his wife as inferior after he technically BOUGHT her from her parents.

Woooww I really agree with this. There was a time I was at my friend's house and her mom made us girls clean up after her brothers. She said we would have to get used to it because a woman is essentially a man's housewife. I was so dumbfounded but what could I do. I hope my generation will raise children without the belief that half the human race should be useless when we can all be working together for the common good.

BeastOfNoNation:


I don't 100% agree with your opinion. I definitely think some degree of modesty is important but rapist will rape no matter what in Saudi Arabia where women are covered from head to toe, there is still rape. They manage to blame the woman and say her ankles tempted them. So let's focus more on stopping and punishing rapists. I live in Canada and the immodest dressing here is on another level! But rape is taken very seriously so the rate of sexual assault here is pretty low.

No, don't get me wrong, I am not saying there is an excuse to rape someone.

I am saying in other to avoid getting raped, you need to take precautions. If you don't take precautions and get raped, you have yourself to blame.

You as a human being have a responsibility of protecting yourself from danger. If you don't protect yourself, who is to blame?

gj22:


No, don't get me wrong, I am not saying there is an excuse to rape someone.

I am saying in other to avoid getting raped, you need to take precautions. If you don't take precautions and get raped, you have yourself to blame.

You as a human being have a responsibility of protecting yourself from danger. If you don't protect yourself, who is to blame?

Okay okay. I get you.

Àwon Iya Feminist... A ri e oo

All these feminists that is what they will ve saying.

coolsix:
Àwon Iya Feminist... A ri e oo

All these feminists that is what they will ve saying.

Please, is there a problem with being feminist?

Vinshu:
First of all.. this is what we, the feminists are fighting against. In the Nigerian environment there is discrimination against women. African men in general have the Alpha-like feeling that they are the boss of the boss.

And they present it in a way that women are lesser than they are. It's true. Even in the economy, the top positions in offices are run by Men, even major paying jobs are run by Men. Women are mostly traders (Petty) why?

All government offices are headed by Men. In fact I heard a news that a state in South East Nigeria appointed a Man to head women affairs. How long would this continue?

A guy does a favor for you, he expects a Mouth Action. Why?

They feel when they marry you they are doing you are favor. WTF?

If a girl express her feelings towards a guy she cares about.. she is cheap.

I was at an event last week and a guy requested my contact info and I was hesitant in releasing it to him then he offered me money. Why? Like I'm some LovePeddler? Most men have the idea that all women are prostitutes. .direct and indirect that we all love money. It's rude and disrespectful but who cares? It's Men's world.

A girl is raped they blame the girl for her dressing and no one blames the guy. Continue.. there is God.

No one cares about a girl's opinion in a conversation once 3 guys have spoken.. whether it's good or bad it's settled.

I do not blame these men because women are in the shadows. It's time to start fighting for our place in the society and stop feeding them that ego or giving them the chance to feel on top.

So @Op, not Nigeria alone. .it's everywhere.

If you want to get married make sure you use brute force.

They say
when you smell shìt all the time then its time to get your head out of your ass
Has there been any woman who is qualified for a position and not been given?
Has there been any girl who got good grades in school and was denied her grades because she is a woman ?
no one can make you feel small or inferior except you allow them to
and that why feminists (your type who dont know shìt) will continue to be in the shadows constituting a nuisance
while women with something upstairs will rise to the occasion and take their places in society

BUTCHCASSIDY:


They say
when you smell shìt all the time then its time to get your head out of your ass
Has there been any woman who is qualified for a position and not been given?
Has there been any girl who got good grades in school and was denied her grades because she is a woman ?
no one can make you feel small or inferior except you allow them to
and that why feminists (your type who dont know shìt) will continue to be in the shadows constituting a nuisance
while women with something upstairs will rise to the occasion and take their places in society

Why are you swearing anyhow? Did anybody swear at you? Besides, a feminist is someone who believes a woman can do what a man can do. So if you see a woman in power then that supports the idea of feminism. Nigeria is an oppressive society for women. It's not impossible to become successful but it's much harder than it needs to be.

If women want to be given the same privileges as men then y'all have to start paying the bills after meals, wooing guys, opening car doors for guys, paying your bills, quit asking for money from him all because he's your boyfriend and using your salary to take care of the family together with him

I bet there are women who can do these because i've met one but they are in VERY FEW proportion

emperorchedda:
If women want to be given the same privileges as men then y'all have to start paying the bills after meals, wooing guys, opening car doors for guys, paying your bills, quit asking for money from him all because he's your boyfriend and using your salary to take care of the family together with him

I bet there are women who can do these because i've met one but they are in VERY FEW proportion

The problem is that when we do this, certain people start complaining that we're unnatural. Feminists push towards this kind of life but then we're made fun of for supposedly challenging a man's pride.

BeastOfNoNation:


The problem is that when we do this, certain people start complaining that we're unnatural. Feminists push towards this kind of life but then we're made fun of for supposedly challenging a man's pride.

Not to me nor the guys I know. I even value a girl when she offers to take away some responsibility from the man's shoulders. It brings respect to her

A mature guy will understand this

BeastOfNoNation:

Please, is there a problem with being feminist?

My dear being a feminist is a VERY bad idea oo. Especially in Nigeria.
Ask Linda ikeji, Genevieve, Fummi Iyanda n co.

mccoy47:

My dear being a feminist is a VERY bad idea oo. Especially in Nigeria.
Ask Linda ikeji, Genevieve, Fummi Iyanda n co.

So essentially, being feminist won't land me a husband?

the sooner people realise that there is no pleasing women,EVER!!!!!! The better it will be for everyone...

there is always going to be something we will be accused of doing (or not doing)