₦airaland Forum

Vinshu:
Sex is fun indeed. But for the lady involved, it sparks a lot of risks. What if the guy changes his mind? Like he is no longer interested? It is no connection. Once two are married the connection is already there then the fun comes in as both are bound. Not fucking like bf and gf which the bf can swith at any point to the next gf and leave the initial gf in the cold.

It's easier and fun for men but not recommended for ladies. Most ladies who indulge in it are pressurised by the men and some end up being dumped.

all4naija:
It still all boils down to this medieval idea that has become a societal thing. There is no risk if not this attachment of guiltiness and fear like the one you just mentioned in your post. A guy can still change his mind during or after marriage. We have seen that many times but using sex as an excuse to define how a marriage is going to last or judge a guy's mind is completely incorrect. I have seen boyfriends and girlfriends who are closer than many married people. There are many marriages with quarrels about many things including sex and cheats here and there yet people want to use this insignificant religious idea to define both sexes living together as one for life.

Well, marriage is a cultural scheme of deceit that is supposed not to be mandatory at all. It is being forced on everybody. We have found out that the diamond rings people spend fortune on have no value at all. It is a scheme by De Beer to deceive people to buy them for a symbolic reason which haven't been nothing more than triviality.

I recommend it for both genders without carrying that guiltiness. It is not a risk at all excepting for those who are religious and insecure about their relationship. That even proves they are trying to find trust where there is none because they don't have trust at the beginning but just getting along and the reason they are afraid to have fun before the overrated ceremony called marriage!


many ladies think marriage is a gate way to security but the answer is hell no.Like my ex wife was dumped now she understands life better that marriage is not a ticket to a happy life, Its a closed parcel were u accept in good faith the contents.

In your last statement. Are you saying people use marriage to tie others down? It is still the same man that will dump a woman after marriage.

michaelou:
just pray say make u no jam or meet genophobic babe"

Vinshu:
It's OK to discuss sex before marriage. It's a good thing. But actually having sex before marriage is not needed. That is just lust.

Vinshu:
It's OK to discuss sex before marriage. It's a good thing. But actually having sex before marriage is not needed. That is just lust.

starlingslimnet:
Seems you know me well
What's your state on the topic

michaelou:
Hi there ladies, oh & gentlemen too. I was minding my business jejely on social media when I came across a post trending on Instagram, apparently written by a Victor Chigozie Ibeh. I’m assuming Victor is a man, so errm for a man to give this advice I would say we should probably listen. I didn’t say do o, I said listen.

So the post reads “Dear Lady, before you marry him, discuss sex. Don’t spiritualize it. Sex is important. Infact you can’t do without it. Be sure that he has a working penis. You need his penis more than you need his speaking in tongues. God created the penis and Vagina for a purpose; and they have to be put to use. Remember that any tree that does not bear fruit will be uprooted. Don’t allow anyone to deceive you. Speaking in tongues will not stop you from being wet. After the tongues comes the cock. –Victor Chigozie Ibeh.”

I swear I found it hard to keep a straight face while reading this, and I swear this is the problem with a lot of us Nigerian women. We cannot discuss bedroom matters with a straight face.

Back to Victor’s “words of wisdom”; I’ve always been a supporter of keeping your legs closed before marriage, and I applaud those who do it, but I do not judge those who don’t either. To each his own abeg. This was until my dear friend married a spiri-koko guy some 5/6 years back who would not even kiss her while dating and was even appalled at the mention of sex between non married folks. He believed sex was to be discussed by only married folks. This sounds like good advice abi? Well wouldn’t it be too late if you waited till you got married to discuss sex? Oh, by the way, bros spiri-koko could not get it up in bed and my friend who was dying to be a pastor Mrs. in future didn’t know until 2 weeks after they got married when she was more or less determined to rape her husband. The concluding part of their story is for another day.

When my friend told me what was going on, I swear my stance on “test driving” went from sitting on the fence to YOU MUST TEST, but DO NOT NECESSARILY DRIVE.  This is how I see it: Every time I’ve been to a mechanic, or a car dealership I’ve always seen either or both the mechanic and the car owner/buyer lifting the hood of the car up and taking a good look at the engine; and also leaning their ears in to hear the engine’s performance. I’m assuming by looking at and listening intently to the engine, the buyer/owner is making sure he/she does not take home a lemon. I think they believe if there’s a defect in the engine it could possibly be spotted by lifting the hood up and paying attention.

Now to be double sure that what they’ve seen matches the performance, some will take the car for a test drive before finally paying the mechanic or seller for the vehicle. Biko, what is wrong in applying this same methodology to your sex life? I leave the test drive part to each person (but please remember you don’t have to drive each car you come across) .Make sure you catch a glimpse of his “engine”, actually scratch glimpse, make sure you take a good look at the engine and make sure it can stand, there are no visible damages, and most importantly that it actually does exist BEFORE you sign the dotted line.

Some people will frown at what I just said but please don’t forget that the heart of man is desperately wicked (e.g. my friend’s husband who used Spiri-kokoness to cover the fact that his engine is defective and didn’t think it necessary to inform her before marriage). Once you take the “engine” home and everyone has associated you as the owner of the “engine” it is not easy to return it back for manufacturer defect or user defect; there is no 30 day warranty on these “engines” oo.

In essence, I agree with Victor. Bro, you have spoken well. Let she that has ears hear o. We don’t want to come and read stories that touch the heart on Aunty Bella.

Sex is not the end of the world – yes we know, but how would you handle it if you didn’t know your husband has a defective penis, I mean he kept it a secret under the guise of no sex before marriage?  Also, when people say discuss sex before marriage, what exactly are you supposed to say to each other? “Babe, lift up you skirt, abi take down your trousers let me see what you working with? “How often a week are we looking at? Are you a Christian Grey or a Christian Missionary? Should we order a karma-sutra book? Are we praying before or not?

I know I would be reeling in laughter if  I had a conversation about it and I definitely will not keep a straight face.

People, how did your sex conversation go with your intended? Please come and share.

Love is a beautiful thing.

source: http://www.bellanaija.com/2015/05/15/seun-akinlosotu-test-drive-the-engine/
cc lalasticlala ishilove farano

IsiCaterpillar:
I strongly agree before someone will come and insult my womanhood with a toothprick.

I can't deal

Vinshu:
Of what benefit or value does that add to the marriage? It's only perverted men who desire this sex before marriage thing.

Vinshu:
It's OK to discuss sex before marriage. It's a good thing. But actually having sex before marriage is not needed. That is just lust.

Oyind17:
It's true na

IsiCaterpillar:
I strongly agree before someone will come and insult my womanhood with a toothprick.

I can't deal

Neplusultra:
Another side to it is by not engaging in long courtship!
If you you both are ready to get married,den do it immediately before d temptations of 'Test driving'

Vinshu:
Of what benefit or value does that add to the marriage? It's only perverted men who desire this sex before marriage thing.

starlingslimnet:
Subjectively,Yes. Objectively, I had say No.

all4naija:
It still all boils down to this medieval idea that has become a societal thing. There is no risk if not this attachment of guiltiness and fear like the one you just mentioned in your post. A guy can still change his mind during or after marriage. We have seen that many times but using sex as an excuse to define how a marriage is going to last or judge a guy's mind is completely incorrect. I have seen boyfriends and girlfriends who are closer than many married people. There are many marriages with quarrels about many things including sex and cheats here and there yet people want to use this insignificant religious idea to define both sexes living together as one for life.

Well, marriage is a cultural scheme of deceit that is supposed not to be mandatory at all. It is being forced on everybody. We have found out that the diamond rings people spend fortune on have no value at all. It is a scheme by De Beer to deceive people to buy them for a symbolic reason which haven't been nothing more than triviality.

I recommend it for both genders without carrying that guiltiness. It is not a risk at all excepting for those who are religious and insecure about their relationship. That even proves they are trying to find trust where there is none because they don't have trust at the beginning but just getting along and the reason they are afraid to have fun before the overrated ceremony called marriage!

In your last statement. Are you saying people use marriage to tie others down? It is still the same man that will dump a woman after marriage.

segzicres:
I don't subscribe to this your idea as it doesn't make any sense, it allows apace for deceit and huge lies at the end it favours the ladies. we know yall have colossal secrets. also its what desperate ladies do.

At the end of the day marriage is a scam crested by women.