phanshark:
=Olayinka8793 post=38910334]Good day nairalanders, my nssue bothering me and wished to post it here openly in the hope that I will get useful advice/opinion.

This post may seem long and therefore turn off those who hate long epistles but pls endeavour to read it as your advice/opinion might be beneficial to me.

I have thought of creating an alternative moniker to post this or at least lied that the problem is been faced by one of my friend and so he needs your advice like some pretentious nairalanders do, but decided to be bold enough and be real since this is just an online forum.

Sorry for digressing, now to the koko of the matter,I am 22 years old, will be 23 next January, earning a decent salary working as a hair stylist in a large unisex saloon, I have hearing loss as in total deafness though I could speak fluently, was not born deaf but an accident caused it while I was in primary school, the story of how I became deaf is one for another day, but with sheer determination and faith and Gods Grace I managed to complete both primary and secondary schooling but gave up on going further as I have no believe I could survive higher school.

My deafness affected me in very many ways, physiologicaly and emotionally and almost daily, but I hardly allow myself brood over it for a long time, the worst I have done was to cry in secret on more than four occasion for having such a terrible disability.

Ok well, my deafness affected my relationship with the opposite sex so much such that I have never had a girl friend meaning am still a virgin, though I relieve myself of what nairalanders called Konji by doing controlled mas2bation when I feel like, I could have used Oloshos to relieve myself but I considered them as dirty people and can't imagine losing my virginity to a prostitute.

I have tried summoning confidence to toast gals but our conversation is usually very short and not impressive due to the fact I don't know how to prolong such conversations and most of the ideas I saw online hardly applied to such conversation involving a person like me wit hearing loss. I communicate like a normal person by lip reading(hope u know what that is), though not always an effective means of communication but I had no other choice as my parents and me hated the idea of me learning sign language and they vehemently resisted those who suggested it when the deafness problem started.The only problem I have with lip reading was that whenever I don't understand what the other person was saying, I would indicate and ask him to repeat but if it persist I ask him or her to write it with the finger and you will agree with me that such inconvenience might be a big turn of when trying to talk to a stranger like a beautiful gal I admired.

There is this girl I admired that works as a sales girl in my aunt's pharmacy shop, she frequently passed in front of our saloon and have started having feelings for her, fortunately she know I have hearing loss and also knew I am a nephew to her boss and sometimes greets me when passing by like "boda taye",lol and I had just waved and answer "bawo ni", ordinarily I should not have problem toasting her but the fear of my deafness disappointing me and the fact I don't know anything to say that could make the toasting successfull apart from, what is your name, I want to marry you, where do you live, can I have your number, can I take you out on a date next Sunday? Bla bla bla.lol

Also there is the problem I usually encounter with young gals, when I told them I want to marry you, they be like "omo kekere ni mi" meaning am a small girl and I be like how old are you, but can we just be

















4 me I tink d proble only exist in ur head. tink of dis! u are not a dumb person & u can read lips. boy! you never c deef & dumb toast a straight beb? if God wake u up 2morow dont c ur self or feel like somebody wit disability but c ur self as a special person & wen toasting dont rush ur words take it slowly, use body language with modern toasting method, don't ever feel downcast, dose days to toast a beb takes just 2 days but dis day's it taks like at list a week to a month pls suspend the issue of marage 4 now til like 2 yrs time & take this time to develop ur communications skills & God will help you.

points noted bro,thanks a lot for contributing.

I am not much of an expert in matters of dating and relationships but going by my observations so far, what u need to effectively approach and get a girl is just CONFIDENCE.

And this confidence u can consciously develop by NOT putting her on a pedestal. And also remembering the fact that however it goes, u will still hold ur head up and keep going.
All the best bro and do remember: u will never know if u never try.

brotherly; l we advice you go to school where they are girl with w such disability; before you we spend one year in that school you we find beautiful and intelligent babes who we understand you better....... have seen a news casta who is blind yet she is one of the best my guy there are many undisable people who can not add any value to or life. just b confident of urseif and do the needful firs t

stonecoldcafe:


You seem like a good lad. Don't sweat it too much just be confident. She knows your challenges so all you need is CONFIDENCE. Approach her, wave from afar and start heading towards her then say hi.

If it gets clumsy, scribble something in her prescence (in a paper or jotter) and look into her eyes not on the floor. I saw this move in a film and the lady fell for it e.g if she is talking too fast, you can scribble 'slow down dear' and add a smiley face.

Sometimes, little things like that may endear the right lady.

I must be honest though; this has to be a special lady that sees the spark in you. I wish you al the very best young man.

Last bullet: don't promise anyone marriage from the go. Take it easy 'I like you, I really do. I'm serious about you, let's see where this road leads us..." Plus when you start kpanshing, insist on a condom before they derail you with baby mama drama.

Noted sir,thanks for your invaluable advice,points noted.

BlackrulesDworld:



I dont debate about my beliefs but i share opinion with great minds.


When next you wanna quote me be polite. Since you wont want me to believe that is our rude your god teach you to be.


This days Atheist are living a morally upright life than the religious fanatics.

I quote from my Bible a fool say there's no God...it is the last subject any man on earth should seek debate! If man could build cars, civil and mechanical structures and fore warn routine maintenance/servicing, how much more God-to-His main creature Man....your glory in whatever you believe is your shame and your shame will be your destruction except you change...choose your path wisely.

Ranks007:
I quote from my Bible a fool say there's no God...it is the last subject any man on earth should seek debate! If man could build cars, civil and mechanical structures and fore warn routine maintenance/servicing, how much more God-to-His main creature Man....your glory in whatever you believe is your shame and your shame will be your destruction except you change...choose your path wisely.

Don't forget to quote me in your grave too. Biitch!!

I can only imagine what u going through man, the major issue is hearing loss which you have, i would advice you see a specialist in a federal teaching hospital, i repeat in a federal hospital, not state or private hospitals with quacks all over, for thorough evaluation and treatment. There are so many modern options that could be offered to you depending on the defect among wich are cochlear implants etc on the other hand aslo try to build more confidence in approaching ladies, be bold and courageous, that matters alot i tell. Ladies tend to admire confident men not those who are shy or approach them with obvious insecurities. Be the man thats in you bro.

Olayinka8793:
Good day nairalanders, my name is Yinka and am also a twin. I have an issue bothering me and wished to post it here openly in the hope that I will get useful advice/opinion.

This post may seem long and therefore turn off those who hate long epistles but pls endeavour to read it as your advice/opinion might be beneficial to me.

I have thought of creating an alternative moniker to post this or at least lied that the problem is been faced by one of my friend and so he needs your advice like some pretentious nairalanders do, but decided to be bold enough and be real since this is just an online forum.

Sorry for digressing, now to the koko of the matter,I am 22 years old, will be 23 next January, earning a decent salary working as a hair stylist in a large unisex saloon, I have hearing loss as in total deafness though I could speak fluently, was not born deaf but an accident caused it while I was in primary school, the story of how I became deaf is one for another day, but with sheer determination and faith and Gods Grace I managed to complete both primary and secondary schooling but gave up on going further as I have no believe I could survive higher school.

My deafness affected me in very many ways, physiologicaly and emotionally and almost daily, but I hardly allow myself brood over it for a long time, the worst I have done was to cry in secret on more than four occasion for having such a terrible disability.

Ok well, my deafness affected my relationship with the opposite sex so much such that I have never had a girl friend meaning am still a virgin, though I relieve myself of what nairalanders called Konji by doing controlled mas2bation when I feel like, I could have used Oloshos to relieve myself but I considered them as dirty people and can't imagine losing my virginity to a prostitute.

I have tried summoning confidence to toast gals but our conversation is usually very short and not impressive due to the fact I don't know how to prolong such conversations and most of the ideas I saw online hardly applied to such conversation involving a person like me wit hearing loss. I communicate like a normal person by lip reading(hope u know what that is), though not always an effective means of communication but I had no other choice as my parents and me hated the idea of me learning sign language and they vehemently resisted those who suggested it when the deafness problem started.The only problem I have with lip reading was that whenever I don't understand what the other person was saying, I would indicate and ask him to repeat but if it persist I ask him or her to write it with the finger and you will agree with me that such inconvenience might be a big turn of when trying to talk to a stranger like a beautiful gal I admired.

There is this girl I admired that works as a sales girl in my aunt's pharmacy shop, she frequently passed in front of our saloon and have started having feelings for her, fortunately she know I have hearing loss and also knew I am a nephew to her boss and sometimes greets me when passing by like "boda taye",lol and I had just waved and answer "bawo ni", ordinarily I should not have problem toasting her but the fear of my deafness disappointing me and the fact I don't know anything to say that could make the toasting successfull apart from, what is your name, I want to marry you, where do you live, can I have your number, can I take you out on a date next Sunday? Bla bla bla.lol

Also there is the problem I usually encounter with young gals, when I told them I want to marry you, they be like "omo kekere ni mi" meaning am a small girl and I be like how old are you, but can we just be friends bla bla bla, any suggestion to how to properly deal with such response will be appreciated in case the gal I planned to toast say such(she looks 19+). It is not like she is out of my class or too beautiful, no no no not at all, even my twin sister is more classier.

Thanks for reading this far, I know this might seem like an unusual problem but I believe you will have one or two ideas/opinions which I might find useful in other to overcome my deafness and win over this gal. I have no intention of using and dumping her, just date her with the hope of finding her compatible for marriage when the time comes and lastly to relieve myself of Konji the natural way after having gained her trust and affection.

Modified. E be like say I want more opinions, oya CC: lalasticlala abeg do the needful.

say the truth, you didnt attend high institution, how come you wrote like one them?

BlackrulesDworld:




Don't forget to quote me in your grave too. Biitch!!

there aint no grave yet btw us while we still alive, I can see how morally exemplary you have drawn me, by the name calling....reason up.

vicadex07:


Its obvious you are well educated and can type impressively well enough to chat.

Just try and collect any of her (or any future crush you have) social media info like bbpin, whatsapp number, facebook, 2go, instagram, twitter and all and start from their.

Am sure if the girl fancies you too and has probably considered dating you, she wouldn't hesitate to give her bb pin out for instance.

Make all your moves by subtle suggestions on social media. Throw out sexual innuendos playfully and watch her reaction before going in for the kill.

when it comes to those online flirting/dating things my effectiveness is second to none until they demand we exchange numbers,reason been that the want me to call them but I will give various excuses and insist on text messages only so the won't know am unable to make phone calls cos am deaf,eventually they get tired and the rest is history.
The few I managed to tell my disability to went cold suddenly.

MY ADVICE

Your advantages:
1. You can write very well
2. You can talk
3. You can do every other thing

What you need to do:
1. Work more on you speech (I don't know if your speech is as good as your writing)
2. Work more and be better or more perfect in other things you can do like even the lip reading and be a good person in all areas
3. Work on expanding your horizon: your career, academics etc. (these will eventually add to your area of STRENGTH. You need to focus more on your strength and not your weakness).

Now to get the girl:
The most effective way is to start with friendship (WITH A GOAL)

How not to get caught in the friendzone is by befriending WITH A GOAL.
Your goal will be to make yourself indispensable and attractive to her while just being a friend; Then continue to wait for the time she will be ready for you. Infact you will definitely know when she is ready. If you do it well she will even be the one begging indirectly for the toast/wooing.

Bibliography/reference:
I used this for the woman I am married to today.

Come back and thank me later...

JoshB92:
and how are we sure dis is true story?

bro doubting Thomas,it is not a story but a true life experience of mine,it is real.

nicerod:
Omo c how ssce holder compose thread like a Msc holder bro i hail o

thanks bro,actually not a perfect post,there were errors in it if u read carefuly,I noticed it late but felt too lazy to correct or modify.

streetzdreamz:
Wow, you are really good, I mean you write well!!! No one will believe you didn't go through any higher institutions, as per your timid approach to ladies I must say I suffered the same fate years back,cuz all through have never asked a lady out, they just have a way of coming, just be yourself and don't be afraid of losing her or something, she already knows a thing or two about you, just go ahead and get her number,get closer via chats and msgs, get to know her better, all other things will follow suit, if she digs you though.

Noted bro,many thanks.

favoured247:
Since u said u are working. That means u have means of income. I think u will have to spend some portion of the money to make a girl or girls interested in u. Then they can get to know u better. Then perhaps realize u are a good guy and unconsciously fall in love with u.. Even when u have hearing loss. But first u have to spend ur money first in other for them to come close to u. Remember girls are attracted to money but that doesn't mean they are bad or irresponsible. So through spending money u can get girls. Buy them gift and take dem out

I understand money must be involved but I also know there is a difference between been nice and been a maga,lol
points noted sha,thanks.

wow! no time to read all this

hustler86:
It takes courage to say I'm the one if U farted in a public bus op shey u knw , so dt same courage u got sharing ur problem wt us is what u need to ask her out... Thank your star she knws abt ur condition, jst ask her on date to a 9c n quiet plce. Tell her how u feel abt her and what u want her fordont say marry pls. Thank me later

Noted bro thanks,you re-emphasise what many others said which is not to jump in to saying marriage,points noted.thanks

Olayinka8793:
noted,thanks ma'am.Friendship first? Hmmmm Makes sense until I found myself friendzoned.will try sha.

If ur friends with someone u can't be friendzoned nah. When it's obvious u are friends.

I feel being friends with her will even make u know if she's someone u can go into a relationship with or not.


An honest advise: stay away from ladies and keep masturbating my dear. I know u work in a. Saloon but I doubt if ur pay is as high as am thinking.

Trust me if u can do more things like go to sch (nt compulsory), but just build urself to earn more money and watch how ladies will drool over u

holyFRED:
Common bro. Don't start telling a lady you just met about marriage although i know it confuses most ladies. Just calm down and woo her normally cos you are a normal guy and also try to chop a little liver to talk 2 the girl cos its alot easier now that she knows about your predicament....
That'd be all for now. So glad if i were of help

Noted sir thanks, @ last line don't doubt it,I found your opinion helpful.

IamforGod:


If ur friends with someone u can't be friendzoned nah. When it's obvious u are friends.

I feel being friends with her will even make u know if she's someone u can go into a relationship with or not.


An honest advise: stay away from ladies and keep masturbating my dear. I know u work in a. Saloon but I doubt if ur pay is as high as am thinking.

Trust me if u can do more things like go to sch (nt compulsory), but just build urself to earn more money and watch how ladies will drool over u

actually not earning big buck but not too small either,just enough to live comfortably independent,points noted sir,thanks a lot.

biotechshola:
I feel ur pain bro, firstly i will lik to advice not to give up on prayers and efforts to restore ur hearing, with God all things are possible.

That aside, concerning the issue at hand, try to be more clise to the girl so as to knw how she feels for people with disabilities, cos even if she likes ur person, she may the type who wouldnt even imagine dating a disabled person.

After gathering ur facts, u will sure knw the next line of action, if u found out she only grts u cos she has to dnt bother to ask her out, buh if u found out she likes chattin, playing with u, sharing moments with u, then u can try ur luck bro.

May reason for this is simple, in ur case, only two categories of ladies may likely want to date u, those who truly love u or those who want to dupe u..

All the best bro..but pls dnt impress her in anyway, be natural so as to knw hw exactly she feels abh u.

One of the best advice I could have asked for,many thanks bro.points noted,God blessed.

I can still remember a presentation my Platoon made when I served. The title was 'Ability in disability'.. Bro don't ever take your condition to be a let off... Remove the dis in disability and see how able you are... Good luck

buk an Ap wit her bin d first time she might not want to turn u dwn, if u guys r well seated pretend like u don't knw she knows abt ur prblm tel her once more n say d reason of u telling her is because u need a solution leave ur love out of dis den smile abit not much telling her dat can u date sum1 like me, even if she say yes don't look to hapi in her present rather tel her dat she has giving u more hop n wish more of dis mittin will apun. peck her hand gently den fix anoda day. bonus>babes like gifts n wen u get some for d responsible ones dey knw dat dey r in forit. Gudluck

Bros you are not in love, if truly you are, it would give you the boldness to do the needful.

You are here testing your story-telling skills, when you should be doing the story-telling to her.

At 23 earning a decent salary and in-Love but can't approach a Babe? Story.

When I was your age earning not so decent a salary, I knew the impetus it accorded my wantonness.

PS:
Those that observe the weather don't get anything done... your hearing disability is not an excuse, everything rises and falls on your boldness.

My motto in those days: faint heart never won fair lady.

Olayinka8793:
most of those who have made opinions here harps on friendship first,well I see nothing wrong in it and I repeat I hav no intention of doing use and dump,but I have also heard on countless times that it is impossible for boys nd gals to be just friends,it is either a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.seriously ur post makes sense die and I think I will apply the points u made,use and dump is a luxury for flirters/players not people like me wit limited options u know? thanks again.
Friendship first...............way to go.

dont say that bro .. u too can use and dump,, just be a cool guy and be funny,, i mean be extremely funny, girls dig funny guys, if u r funny, she will forget your disability

Contact me for chapman, skushies, shisha e.t.c for ur birthday,beach parties, wedding, and any functions. Check my signature for my email. 09053663375.

IamforGod:


If ur friends with someone u can't be friendzoned nah. When it's obvious u are friends.

I feel being friends with her will even make u know if she's someone u can go into a relationship with or not.


An honest advise: stay away from ladies and keep masturbating my dear. I know u work in a. Saloon but I doubt if ur pay is as high as am thinking.

Trust me if u can do more things like go to sch (nt compulsory), but just build urself to earn more money and watch how ladies will drool over u

Like seriously?

Give me her contact number and she will definitely become yours in two weeks You can call me your Nairaland Angel

1. Get a hearing aid, its not that expensive... Nassarawa state Governor too is deaf and uses the hearing aid
2. Learn sign language. it is wonderful and many able bodied people learn it and make lucrative careers as interpreters, I am talking hundreds of thousands of naira even millions.
3. Join the National Association of Persons with Disabilities... you will meet people with common challenges and the most beautiful and educated women I have seen in one of their programs are deaf. I am talking Doctors, Lawyers and very beautiful. Look for them in your state and join them. I was helping them out as a consultant in Abuja.
4. We are all disabled in one form or the other so relax. God help you. Better women full ground

Olayinka8793:
Good day nairalanders, my name is Yinka and am also a twin. I have an issue bothering me and wished to post it here openly in the hope that I will get useful advice/opinion.

This post may seem long and therefore turn off those who hate long epistles but pls endeavour to read it as your advice/opinion might be beneficial to me.

I have thought of creating an alternative moniker to post this or at least lied that the problem is been faced by one of my friend and so he needs your advice like some pretentious nairalanders do, but decided to be bold enough and be real since this is just an online forum.

Sorry for digressing, now to the koko of the matter,I am 22 years old, will be 23 next January, earning a decent salary working as a hair stylist in a large unisex saloon, I have hearing loss as in total deafness though I could speak fluently, was not born deaf but an accident caused it while I was in primary school, the story of how I became deaf is one for another day, but with sheer determination and faith and Gods Grace I managed to complete both primary and secondary schooling but gave up on going further as I have no believe I could survive higher school.

My deafness affected me in very many ways, physiologicaly and emotionally and almost daily, but I hardly allow myself brood over it for a long time, the worst I have done was to cry in secret on more than four occasion for having such a terrible disability.

Ok well, my deafness affected my relationship with the opposite sex so much such that I have never had a girl friend meaning am still a virgin, though I relieve myself of what nairalanders called Konji by doing controlled mas2bation when I feel like, I could have used Oloshos to relieve myself but I considered them as dirty people and can't imagine losing my virginity to a prostitute.

I have tried summoning confidence to toast gals but our conversation is usually very short and not impressive due to the fact I don't know how to prolong such conversations and most of the ideas I saw online hardly applied to such conversation involving a person like me wit hearing loss. I communicate like a normal person by lip reading(hope u know what that is), though not always an effective means of communication but I had no other choice as my parents and me hated the idea of me learning sign language and they vehemently resisted those who suggested it when the deafness problem started.The only problem I have with lip reading was that whenever I don't understand what the other person was saying, I would indicate and ask him to repeat but if it persist I ask him or her to write it with the finger and you will agree with me that such inconvenience might be a big turn of when trying to talk to a stranger like a beautiful gal I admired.

There is this girl I admired that works as a sales girl in my aunt's pharmacy shop, she frequently passed in front of our saloon and have started having feelings for her, fortunately she know I have hearing loss and also knew I am a nephew to her boss and sometimes greets me when passing by like "boda taye",lol and I had just waved and answer "bawo ni", ordinarily I should not have problem toasting her but the fear of my deafness disappointing me and the fact I don't know anything to say that could make the toasting successfull apart from, what is your name, I want to marry you, where do you live, can I have your number, can I take you out on a date next Sunday? Bla bla bla.lol

Also there is the problem I usually encounter with young gals, when I told them I want to marry you, they be like "omo kekere ni mi" meaning am a small girl and I be like how old are you, but can we just be friends bla bla bla, any suggestion to how to properly deal with such response will be appreciated in case the gal I planned to toast say such(she looks 19+). It is not like she is out of my class or too beautiful, no no no not at all, even my twin sister is more classier.

Thanks for reading this far, I know this might seem like an unusual problem but I believe you will have one or two ideas/opinions which I might find useful in other to overcome my deafness and win over this gal. I have no intention of using and dumping her, just date her with the hope of finding her compatible for marriage when the time comes and lastly to relieve myself of Konji the natural way after having gained her trust and affection.

Modified. E be like say I want more opinions, oya CC: lalasticlala abeg do the needful.

Grab the bull by the horn!

You have an easy catch and still you' re f*ucking scared to tell her your feelings. I can't say "be yourself" because your present self s*ucks real bad and that's why you were only able to befriend your m*asturbation prone hands.

The chic knows you too well which kinda made it easier for you. Summon some goddam courage and go talk her! She won't bite you, I promise! The worst thing she could do is to say "no". That's it, it won't turn your life upside down. You need to grow some f*ucking balls and have confidence in your damn self. Never use your f*ucking deafness as a weakness, it should make you stronger!

There are tons of stuff to talk about. You only have to start by talking about stuffs that concerns her - like her good looks (don't f*ucking overdo it), job, hobbies, her favorite stuff (like movie, music, etc), future ambition, and her unforgettable life experiences, try to be funny (chics love it) and then finally let her know your feelings for her and be real with it. Don't sound like a douchebag or a f*ucking creep doing it.

Don't f*ucking tell her you want to marry her. What the f*uck is wrong with you telling chics that? That scares some chics away because it's the same as telling a chic you're toasting that you love her. She may see you as a p*ussy player and dump your a*ss while you stand there drooling like a he goat blabbing sh*it. And don't f*ucking entice her with money! Entice her with your good personality (if you have it).

Don't tell her you're a f*ucking virgin for God's sake! She may see you as an inexperienced j*erk and wonders why you haven't had any chic in your life at your age. It could also make her think something is damn wrong with you. You should only tell her few seconds before sex so she won't call you an as*shole if you f*uck up in bed. Watch some p*orn to learn how guys get laid.

Few chics would be excited to f*uck a dumb virgin because of the rarity of virgin guys, not because the sex will be f*ucking great.

Now get your sorry hairy virgin as*s out and go look for her! Good luck, virgin!