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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice (32653 Views)
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Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by serah109: 11:09am On Nov 12, 2015 |
fexyrich: U r right!! But I thought we marry because of character nt looks because looks can fade away? Its nt as if d woman is a cheat, a bad cook or a gossip!! His friends hav advise him wrongly to abandon her just for looks!! If dat guy b my bro I go giv am rat poison shop make him waka in peace because if d babe curse am him fit survive but de alive de find who him won rub him shit wit make him com de suffer wit am de waka from one prayer house 2anoda. D guy no get sense @all 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Classicman47(m): 11:10am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Zambux: SHUT THE FVCK UP!!! The guy is being honest and blunt and dats the bitter truth dat this shitty Poster needs right now. So just shut the hell up! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by AVRecruit: 11:13am On Nov 12, 2015 |
madcow let me know ur final thoughts on my last post. does not the Bible recommend that u rejoice in the wife of your youth? in Proverbs. anyway each to his own. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 11:14am On Nov 12, 2015 |
donsteady: Well, I don't believe you. So I real cannot have a take off of my disbelief, sorry. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by fexyrich(m): 11:19am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Don't give such wicked advice..So youare now talking about pity after the girl has wasted years with him turning down other men just to be with him,and making huge sacrifices for him?? Do you have a conscience?? As far as am concerned they have both come a long way and he can't break out now..If they have been together all d while it shows they would also see it true in marriage..Don't give such advices to people who you know nothin about their relationships..Sometimes we men can be very selfish.Considering only our own comfort forgetting you are about to hurt someone else..He shld go and marry his wife..They have come a long way for him to back out now. Etizz: |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Pwhitelaw(m): 11:23am On Nov 12, 2015 |
I wish the poor lady is you sister then you will know the implications of the harsh decision you want to make. You don't know she looks older for years of her perseverance with you. To the extent of changing her religion to save the relationship. Now you want to dump her for another lady using makeup on her face to decieve you. Better take care of your wife and bring out the beauty in her and be contented |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by MadCow1: 11:24am On Nov 12, 2015 |
AVRecruit: Your Last sentence = GOLD! And yes the Pool of men may be much higher in her youth, but if she isn't mentally mature enough, she may end up in a lot of trouble like many girls have. I think we place too much pressure on girls with regards to marriage and its unfair. 2 Likes |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by paulodangelo(m): 11:26am On Nov 12, 2015 |
I was gonna say ''hollup nigga hollup hollup''. But this is serious so I'll give you my own opinion. Once that day draws near, that feeling that you'll have to commit to one person, for eternity, your past life will flash through your eyes right up to that point and you'll feel like bachelorhood should never end; hence the cold feet. If you really love, you wouldn't be bothered about her looks. If that's what is holding you back, you should not be a superficial person when it comes to matters of the heart. Now to the crux of this your dilemma. Nigga, my dad tells me and stills rings it in my ear from time to time; ''NEVER DATE OR GET MARRIED TO A WOMAN OUT OF PITY''. The moment you feel pity or the fact that you do not want to hurt someone and you get married and end up both miserable, you'll look back at this point and wonder ''What If''. You are not doing her a favor, its for better for worse. If you cant picture better, there's no way you can handle worse when it comes. Check yourself man. A lot of emotions will course through you. Do not let it confuse you that's all. 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Goldencollins: 11:30am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:he is not asking him to marry her out of pity but the issue is that its already late for him to step back,he has already done the introduction and gone through the phases of marriage right,the babe in question out of love for the guy had to change her religion,my advice to the op is that he should go and marry his wife. if you are looking for a perfect woman,sorry,they don't exist. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by simplisity(m): 11:31am On Nov 12, 2015 |
AVRecruit:Hahahha! My brother, thats not what it suppose to be. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Michellla(f): 11:31am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Filashade:i feel you sista! that guy is a complete moronn. she deserves better yea. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 11:35am On Nov 12, 2015 |
And im sure d op is not even as handsome and successful as pierce brosnan or hugh jackman, who are fit and rich wt fat wives. Oga beauty is fleeting. Hold on to reality. Im sure ur thoughts are already reflecting in u guys interactions. Ur also making her feel depressed. My mum & dad are perfect examples. They went thru a rough patch in their 30's when my dad had affairs wt useless young girls. Even lookin at those pictures, my mum looked so depressed and unkempt. U cld see d sadness & unsexinessness around her. aAfter my dad came to his senses and changed, d pictures started changing. D smile came back, her soul lit up again. When ur around them, my mum just radiates wt joy and beauty because my dad complements her too much sef. Na love in tokyo everyday. 'My wife my wife' is his daily song. Even till now my mum always takes d time to work out, take care of her hair and makeup because of this. Your thoughts and actions towards ur fiancee will also bring d same changes. Advise to women. This is why i remained a virgin till i got married. Some women dont have sense. So u give ur all to someone like this and they end up looking at u like a pig not worthy of marriage. SMH. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Sweetlemon(f): 11:36am On Nov 12, 2015 |
eroticboy: This is brutal, wicked, but it's the truth. OP, forget emotional blackmail, follow your own damn heart cos it's your own life. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by beey4u(m): 11:50am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Pray to God for direction.Al d best bro..... |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Clacious10: 11:51am On Nov 12, 2015 |
According to an elderly's adage " Don't smell a food you will not eat" Let me ask you brother, don't you see her before asking her out, don't you notice her before going for the introduction, will you swallow such bitter pill if given to you. How sure are you that you will get a better lady to marry if you finally dump her. I understand that marriage is a life time union, but it starts from courtship and metamorphosed into a family. Be ready to dance to the consequences of your action when they start beating the drum for you. Remember NEMESIS BE WISE. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by mutiualao1: 11:59am On Nov 12, 2015 |
hnnn |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Kanbee: 12:03pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
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Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Adiwana: 12:16pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Marriage requires two things to work out; 1.Physical&spiritual discipline.. 2.Maturity of the mind from what i can deduce from your post,i dont think you are ready esp on no.1.why did i say so? Marriage is all about two faces of a coin.The good side that requires the good life,frivolous lifestyle,Fancy clothes,Big Mansions.etc and bad side that involves the Hard life,temptations&trials,Difficulty in Child bearing, etc.if you possess the two aforementioned,you would understand that her beauty or banging body or her sexyness is just an added plus. You have to ask yourself,If this lady am going to marry have difficulties in child bearing,or she has accident that requires you sleeping in the hospital,causing you sleepless nights,feeling her pains or your meal and that big business contract,sacrificing your meal just to see her eat&vice versa.Is she ready to go to bed hungry just to see her kids eat,is she ready to sacrifice that multi million naira job just for you to be happy,Is she ready to give her all,is she reay to put and the kids first in whatever she does? Let me give you an example;My parents dont have the best of marriages but my Mom sacrificed her going abroad to work and earn millions cos of her marriage and her kids.She has her own house but my Dads name is no1 on th land papers among other things.Ask yourself,is the lady ready to do all this things for me?if she changed her religion which is one of the most important things we Africans value an went against all odds,then she can do much more for you. If the lady you are to marry is ready to go thru the good and bad times with you,then you are good to go but remember to pray to God.God to marriage seminars.it very important. Remember,above all things,Your Happiness is no.1 not anybodies.Good luck. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Zambux(f): 12:20pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Classicman47: Ah swear your monicker says contrary of u. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by CaroLyner(f): 12:27pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Sweetlemon:his heart better be leading him towards marriage with the girl. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Classicman47(m): 12:30pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Zambux:Forget it. U annoyed me. 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by trendyprettygir: 12:54pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Op, am sorry for you. How long have you been with this girl? Are you just seeing that she looks older than you? Or what have you been doing since? Or is it not that you have seen someone else and just need an affirmation to abandon your present relationship so you can quickly run to that other person? Your case needs serious fasting and vigil. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by chigomiced: 12:55pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: being Age mates is a no-no for me marrying her out of pity is like signing ur death warrant bro beware!!! na u go suffer am oooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by 4reala(m): 12:57pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
[/b] kramfonos: You dated her even when you knew "she looks older". She's made sacrifices for you and even changing her religion whilst fighting off the rebellious tag by her family. She, according to you, has been faithful to you. What else do you need, dude? Yeah, NEED and not WANT. How sure are you that the other supposed YOUNGER-LOOKING girls aren't being masked by the thick coat of EMULSION PAINT they smear on their faces? I think your priorities are misplaced. I support u my guy. And its better u marry a girl dat loves u more than d one u love |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Sweetlemon(f): 12:58pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
CaroLyner: Because you're going to be the 3rd party in that marriage ko? Why are Nigerians like this mbok? Somebody says he's marrying someone out of pity and you still encourage him to go ahead with it because the girl's existence revolves around him?? Geez! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by HaneefahRN(f): 12:58pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
From what I can see OP u are a very superficial person. What attracted u to her in the 1st place that made u ask her out to the point of intro and her changing her religion and all. So it's nw u realise she is aging earlier than u, what if u marry someone who aged less than u and God forbid the person has an accident or dermatological problem that disfigured her, wld u divorce her cos of that? If u are satisfied with her other qualities, u can always tu-sh her up, if it's the way she dresses that makes her look older, get her clothes u prefer, or if it's that she is getting fatter, u can subtly tell her and work out ways to shed off the excess fat. If this is the only reason u're having 2nd thoughts, then it's flimsy, when will ageing now set in? Or u'll divorce ur wife once she starts ageing. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by AdeniyiA(m): 12:58pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
kramfonos:WORD... fammo! !! you're only thinking about yourself by that pity word u mentioned. are u bn deceived by some young inexperienced, immatured peperenpe girls outside there? from wat u're wrote u never said she's wayward or not submissive or does not possess good character, you're surely developing a cold feet,, don't be like those who only realise the importance of what they had only after loosing it.. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Comfyski(f): 1:04pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
When you got engaged to her, u loved her. It's just that something is wrong somewhere, you need time to think that she's the right one...Weigh Her good and bad qualities...She made decisions and sacrifices for u..think of that |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by CaroLyner(f): 1:22pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Sweetlemon:put yourself in her position.i bet you wont be thinking that way |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by francescainnoce(f): 1:31pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
JumpingChicken:He is a BIG COMPOUND FOOLSSSSSSSSSS GAN... Mtcheeeeeeew |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Sweetlemon(f): 1:33pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
CaroLyner: Sure I have! And ain't no way no nigga's gonna marry me out of pity! Lord have mercy! What have we done to our self-worths? How will a lady be changing religion for a man she's not YET married to? Say wetin happen nau? You don't make such "sacrifices" to someone you're not yet married to. We ladies need to learn how to love with dignity. By all means love your boyfriends but don't give him your all until he has paid your bride price in full and you have fixed a date for your court or church wedding. That grl was desperate to hook the OP. She wasn't making sacrifices or being a good girl. She was desperate. Simple! The OP's fault here is that he shouldn't have kept dragging her along till now. He's always known he's just not that into her but he kept pitying and pitying until he started pitying himself. 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by xtervaganza(m): 1:34pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
For too many stoopid guys on here lately You'll date someone for years and then consider breaking up woth the person Ypu want to break up with someone who is a not a cheat Someone who has made sacrifices just to be with you This kind of post make me angry 1 Like |
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