byvan03:




Some women are unbelievable!

byvan03:
Op I feel sorry for you, you wrecked him because he gave you his ATM and you are upset he didn't beat you senseless like some would. You have a man that loves you this much yet you have chosen to be a ******. I feel like bashing you senseless but I won't, must he act like every other man? Who wrote the manual on how a man should act and how well did it work out for them ? Go ahead and end your marriage, update me on your experience with your new found Alfa A-hole.

optimusprime2:

I carefully read your whole writeup, hence my whole quote... Firstly (Pardon me for being Blunt) I think you are quite a Naive, selfish and shallow woman who is insensitive to a man as delicate natured as your husband- for a start, I believe you are a christian, go and read the book of Proverbs chapter 31 vs 10-31 it should give you insight of the role of a good wife.
Many women pray for the kind of man you have as a husband, and here you are complaining about what you have... A wife is a friend, a partner, a buddie et al, apparently you have'nt carved out that Niche for your husband, because you have already viewed and tagged him as a weakling.
Secondly You lack the caring instinct of a mother; if you did, you would have known how to adjust your husband to fit your specs, with Love. Cant you see he is as a child to you? I wonder how you would care for kids with special needs with an attitude of insensitivity like this...
Thirdly, you are inconsiderate; Because you know that's how he is and yet you choose to exploit his shortcomings/weaknesses, then complain in the end- You should be ashamed of yourself.
Fourthly, You are the solitary lady- basically you love doing your thingys alone. It's unfortunate you married a man who values company and companionship, now in marriage, the definition of you is "Selfish" because all you lookout for is "You" ... sorry girl thats the picture I see.
Fifth, Your perspective of marriage is so shallow... And I have a deep pity for you because you still think marriage is post courtship, an indirect reflection of your psychological immaturity (Geez I'm really sorry for the bluntness but I just cant help it)
Sixth, You are just not romantic period.... (A wife beater would have suited you just fine)
If you think people will come and sympathize with you here on Nairaland for your woes and complaints on this matter, you are wrong, very wrong .... Go and analyse your shortcomings woman and fix up your marriage.
Overall I feel bad for your husband- it's really not his fault. He married a girl not a woman. (Sorry girl just being blunt)

cococandy:

i don't believe this story sha.
Ihe ibe ya Na-acho since.

How are you dear?

cococandy:
Pls don't stop searching. They exist o.
A lady like me appreciate men who are sweet and loving like that and I'm sure there are others who do too.
Don't give up

cococandy:

Tell me o.
She that was using the ATM didn't have enough sense to check the balance and see how far?
She deserves the bashing.
Na these kind ladies dey turn good men into something else

halfrica:
lets pray op

Some have good husband bet are nt happy

Some are happy bet have no good husband


We have good husband and we are happy Glory be to the o Lord Amen

Op be happy wit wat u av the life u wana throw away is wat anoda woman is cryin in crios agony to av !!!!!!!! Decide well

enstack:


I had to respond to you. Perhaps you are missing the point here. I never said he is too loving or something. If i am to write all the silly things he does in the name of love you wont even be able to read it all. I just put a few.

Even neighbors around have noticed it. They have called me to order many times! His elder sister accused me of giving him a love portion. Its that bad! You call this love? Then I'm sorry i don't want such love anymore. The other day, i asked him to purchase something for me, he had no money, instead of him to talk to me about being short on funds, he went to take a loan to get it. Something that even I dont need so urgently(He is still owing his partner for it)

So sir, read again and understand! Dont be to hasty in talking or commenting. Call me a girl, Its no big deal. After all, this same Man threatened to stand in the middle of the road if i dont accompany him on his field trip. This type of a man can commit suicide if i dont give him what he wants at a given time.

byvan03:




Am good dear, I will choose not to believe this gist because it makes no sense.


Nwunyem ana agbakwa gi karate ofuma?Kedu Ka aru do gi? Jisike nne..

commitcrime:
Hmmmmm


Since u want sincere mature advice. I ll oblige u.

You re a fool!

Your husband loves u so much that he dotes on u. All men would normally do that but men like me dated bitches so we transformed and became assholes.

If ur husband worships u. It is normal

It is left for u to take the obeisances in humility and reciprocate.

If u turn him into an asshole. Babe I promise u. You ve lost him forever.

P.S
I realise it is easy being an asshole than a gentleman

#TEAMASSHOLE

enstack:
I had to create a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.

cococandy:

i don't believe this story sha.
Ihe ibe ya Na-acho since.

How are you dear?

byvan03:




Am good dear, I will choose not to believe this gist because it makes no sense.


Nwunyem ana agbakwa gi karate ofuma?Kedu Ka aru do gi? Jisike nne..

Strahovski:
Op, I feel your pain... I read your post from beginning to end and it can be scary for someone like you. You mentioned studying and training. seems you are furthering your education so I can imagine hw you would fee. But this is it. Also I like how you broke it in paragraphs so it won't look so long a messy. Nice. Many people would misunderstand the op.

Edit: The op is not saying her husband is too loving! Neither is she selfish or wicked. She is even a good person. From her writeup,if she says "Kill yourself" to her husband he would do it. It's not right so those silly comments below should be edited by the silly posters. The man is obsessed. It's dangerous for her very soon it would become obvious in public and you know the society would start accusing her of using metaphysical powers on him. So she wants to fix it now before it advances.

Back to the topic:

In your first/second paragraph you said it all. You were his first love. He was new to romance. And now you are married so he is carried away with it. He wants to make you happy that's all. And I can bet that he has been crushing on you before two of you met one on one. So for him To finally get you, he wants to keep you but he got it all wrong. It's normal in life.. something you have always desired finally comes your way of course you would protect it. So he is acting silly and idolizing you because he wants to keep you around.

I advice you talk to him. Sit him down and explain things to him let him know you love him for the man he is that he does not have to do silly things to please you. He knows it's nt right. I'm sure but he has no choice. So let him knw there is a choice. Give him the assurance you are his forever. That's all
Its just communication. And as for intimacy, he likes you, but you need to let him know that you value your study time and once in a while make the move too. Let him know you too can make the move not him alone so he does not have to do it always. And also there might be something about you that drives hm crazy which he does not want to depart from him.. ask him he will tell you. It could be your eyes, your accent, your voice, or even your fingers or your hair or skin or legs.. talk to him that's my point.

#TeamNoDivorce

Edit: Hmmmmm FTC

enstack:
I had to create a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.

MaziOmenuko:
We guys were all born and programmed like your husband: alas when we started meeting women who burnt us out like a candle, we lost our virtues and turned to what we are now.

Every guy that had not dated a girl before will act like your husband.

Eketem:
This is why love and submission go together, a submissive woman won't take the love of her husband for granted.
You are so used to bad men and hearing stupid stories that a man who decided to save himself and be a good loving husband is now annoying to you.

Don't worry I am sure by the time he starts cheating on you and being disrespectful then you will happily come and lament like your mates.

If you had sense you would respect his love.
If you are tired explain gently to him that you are tired why would you refuse him sex for weeks?
If you had sense you would respect him giving you his atm and not spend like a silly woman
If you had sense you will respect his trust not look for him to slap you for coming home late

You are the one with issues, please divorce him so he won't be turn into a monster to satisfy you.

It is frustrated salon women whose husbands are busy drinking and womanising who are your role models silly woman , very annoying

byvan03:
Op I feel sorry for you, you wrecked him because he gave you his ATM and you are upset he didn't beat you senseless like some would. You have a man that loves you this much yet you have chosen to be a ******. I feel like bashing you senseless but I won't, must he act like every other man? Who wrote the manual on how a man should act and how well did it work out for them ? Go ahead and end your marriage, update me on your experience with your new found Alfa A-hole.

bukatyne:


This is a description of a typical 'Nigerian' wife not capable of respecting a husband who loves her.

She is his first love with no previous experience of hurt So He is still pure

The story began to bend when she said He welcomed her with water from traffic instead of shouting like a normal husband I don't know How she jammed this 'abnormal husband'; they are certainly not in the same class.

She even denied him sex for weeks and mismanaged his money because....

She cannot respect him because she is not wired to respect gentle guys.

I pray she gets What she is looking for.

Cc: cococandy & babygirlfl