₦airaland Forum

Just wish my mum is alive......

StoneColdBiceps:
why u go shock na wen no bé high tension. Na just mail lol

Initially, I be like "why this egbon dey bash me on Christmas day"

Guy, be careful with your mother. The bible says obedience to parents is a sure way to God's blessings and long life.
Avoid having a clash with your mother. Whenever she gets angry, do not stand there to reply her. Just leave that place and get yourself busy doing something else.
A word is enough for the wise.

tosyne2much:
Initially, I be like "why this egbon dey bash me on Christmas day"

Lol Enjoy ur Christmas Tosyn, u r indeed too much.

chuzydon:
Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

its ok bro. its not the end of the world. most times things we didnt plan for happen. what struck me most about ur post is that you are feeling bad and sober. my advice
1. get her something u know she loves

2. write a note

3. go to meet her wen u two are alone and apologise

4. be careful about uttering ......... that will make her......

5. years from now youll think about this and smile....
its part of life.

My aim with ma parents is always to get a blessing from dem because anyfin dat will instigate a curse from dem bro u are finished.....trust me

























Take heed!! Don't be a fool!

chuzydon:
Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this. I just want to say I understand where you are coming from. Some mothers can frustrate your life, you are the eldest, you are 21, you feel you are an adult now and you should be treated as such. You love your mum but she can be so stressful and she also uses emotional blackmail. Then you thought what to do you decide to fight for that respect no matter what. It's ok but I tell u, you can't win that fight. No matter what. Well if you are the respectful, kind, African guy I expect you to be, you just can win. What I advise is whenever your mum seems to be on your nerves, don't say a thing, don't leave her presence either. Just listen to her. Never for 1 minute listen to yourself and what you think you know. Listen to her and may God guide you from there.

As for now, she has been your mum for 21 years. You should know what to do to get her back.

lastpage:
Generally, you should never shout at your Parents... even if they say hurtful things to you, TRY and WALK AWAY!
Bible says we shoudl obey and respect our Parents so that our days may be long!. That is a command with a Promise.


The Bible also admonishes PARENTS not to EXASPERATE their children. Exasperate means "to provoke beyond control".
I guess no one remembers this passage as l see no one has mentioned it at all?

It is difficult to know exactly how to advice you because we need to be sure of certain things like:
1.) What were the "exact words" you used?
This will allow one to judge and measure the level of "hurt' she might be feeling. trust me, "some" Mothers also play on the emotions of their children to the point of Blackmailing them, so they can always control them. Some mothers still want to control their married son/ daughter like s/he was a ten yr old. Now, dont get me wrong, like l said, you should never disrespect your Parents.

2.) What did she say to you, that made you say those words to her?
I ask this because l want to know whether it is a case of "child exasperation" ..or a case of "delinquency" on your part.
In both cases, you still must not be disrespectful to her. She is your Mother!

If it is a case of delinquency on your part, l would urge you to retrace your steps back because what you do to your Parents (Not just your Mother), may come back to hunt you, when you have your own kids. You then need to kneel down, ask God for forgiveness and try to make her happy ... not because of the threats people are writing here ... but because it is THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
Never act out of fear, but do that which is right before God and man, that your conscience may set you free.

Buy her a gift (nothing expensive to cause you financial headache) ...something to show her that you are remorseful and want her to forgive your bad behaviour. henceforth, keep being a good lad.

If your outburst was as a result of "genuine exasperation".... (forget, we are all humans and we have feelings and emotional threshold) ... it still does not excuse your being disrespectful but one can understand that "you dont mean it but you simply lost your head". That is "human".
Next thing to do is to learn to control your "emotions". I mean, in the face of provocation (it may come from anyone, your DAd, Mom or wife in future, inclusive), learn to remain calm and focused.
Promise yourself to always "be in control' of your feelings. It is a very important virtue in life. It will help you in future.

Now, despite how you feel, your Parent is/are your Parent. You MUST respect them.
Write her a letter. express yourself "freely but respectfully" to her, let her know how you feel about whatever she has said, that brought out the "beast" in you. As Parents, we are also not infallible and we like other humans, offend our children but what we wont accept is for them to use that to disrespect us.
My first son is your age, an undergraduate. I slapped him a few years back and he just winced and walked away! Afterwards realised l did it in anger for he did something very wrong. I went to his room to speak with him and found him crying. I asked him if it was the "one slap" that is making an adult like him cry like a baby? He said "No, that he was crying because he felt hurt that he annoyed me to the point where l had to slap him".
Now, that clipped my wings seriously. I said "look son, l am sorry, very sorry for slapping you. I should not have done that. I am deeply sorry".

He held my hands, knelt down and said l should pray for him. I did and blessed him afterwards. In my own heart, l knew l have erred even though he did not utter any word..... but his tears were like a stab in the heart, for me. Since then, we are like 5 & 6... our relationship can never be better. I am sure the "bagger" would eventually read this before the day ends as he knows my i.d!
Son, when you read this, know that you are a wonderful son to behold. I love you deeply.

So, you see, keeping quiet as a sign of respect to your parents, could mean even more and have better effect than words can have, even when they exasperate you.

Go to your Mom, ask her to forgive you and to pray for you. tell her you are sorry and would work on your temperament.

I also hope your Mom will be magnanimous and stop saying you are not her son. Since she wont be reading this, there is nothing l will say to her here
I noticed you said "You both are drifting apart" meaning "somethings" have been going-on for some time now?
Thats a bad sign and maybe you need to speak with Dad and ask him to "settle" whatever is the 'deep-rooted cause" of the issue.

But generally, we parents need to know how to manage our "grown kids". "space", "time", "respect" (not fear!) are things we need to give them and we should be 'calm', being the adult, in dealing with them.

Ask you Dad to also plead with her, on your behalf and let her know that you dont mean whatever hurtful words you said and it will NEVER repeat itself again.

Remember, if you cant remain calm in a situation... WALK AWAY FROM IT. get some fresh air, take a walk around (day time only), come back in and play some soothing jazz music.

Dont also forget, kneel down and pray that God give you wisdom, as you grow older.
Be strong and be good.


Lastpage

Caveat: Sorry, if l dont fall into the category that will blame a child,... just because they are a child. I try to be objective.

God bless you so much sir. Please I want us to be friends that's all I want from you. You are such an incredible person. God bless the day you were born and the womb that conceived you.

watered:
God bless you so much sir. Please I want us to be friends that's all I want from you. You are such an incredible person. God bless the day you were born and the womb that conceived you.

God bless you too Sir!
I am your friend and will always be. Feel free to discuss with me.
It takes "one" to know "one" and l am sure that l will also be enriched by association with you. Your words already shows you are so well-grounded.
Blessed are those who raised you and blessed are you too, for allowing to be raised properly. its a two-way thing!

I try to keep "online things' ...online.
Between me and my family members,w e have agreed that we would remain "anonymous", online.
I have been asked to do "Mod" duties in my past six years or more on Nairaland but l politely declined for the same reasons.
A lot of people have asked to meet me in person, Mods have requested to do a "personality profile" on me and for the same reasons, l have politely declined the offer. Most of the things l write about are "real life" scenarios and l have a duty to protect other family members who may be identifiable from my posts, especially my wife.

So, please bear with me if l cant meet you in person, it's just my way of ensuring the "Lastpage family" remains anonymous and hence can speak their mind freely, online. But it does not diminish our communications in anyway. You can always "PM" me

Merry Xmas to you and a happy 2015 in advance.
Bless you.



Lastpage!

lastpage:
God bless you too Sir!
I am your friend and will always be. Feel free to discuss with me.
It takes "one" to know "one" and l am sure that l will also be enriched by association with you. Your words already shows you are so well-grounded.
Blessed are those who raised you and blessed are you too, for allowing to be raised properly. its a two-way thing!

I try to keep "online things' ...online.
Between me and my family members,w e have agreed that we would remain "anonymous", online.
I have been asked to do "Mod" duties in my past six years or more on Nairaland but l politely declined for the same reasons.
A lot of people have asked to meet me in person, Mods have requested to do a "personality profile" on me and for the same reasons, l have politely declined the offer. Most of the things l write about are "real life" scenarios and l have a duty to protect other family members who may be identifiable from my posts, especially my wife.

So, please bear with me if l cant meet you in person, it's just my way of ensuring the "Lastpage family" remains anonymous and hence can speak their mind freely, online. But it does not diminish our communications in anyway. You can always "PM" me

Merry Xmas to you and a happy 2015 in advance.
Bless you.



Lastpage!

Same to you sir and happy 2016 in advance. I'm lost in words to express how I feel meeting you online.

God bless the lastpage family

MrLexander:
For the fact ur mum shouts at u and u reciprocates shows u av strted bad company and following wrong steps.. e be like say u don dey smoke igbo sef.. na wetin dey cause dis kind tin.. u don dey take alomo and weed.. stewpeed boi

This guy should have you as an older brother, you go sabi treat him Bleep up well.

Your parents giving you a roof and food isn't them doing you a favor, it is their duty and responsibility as part of bringing you to this world. That doesn't mean that you should tolerate nonchalant behaviors and abuse just because they are fulfilling their basic duties and somehow manipulated you into thinking this is them doing you a favor.

Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

Before the help.

U need a mental evaluation seriously. At 21 u have started talking back at ur parents.

It is finished.