queenfav:
@realberry pls try to change your impression of marriage.You can have a wonderful marriage despite your all you have seen in your family.My parents are separated,I was raised by a single mum.My dad till date doesn't even have my number,cos he was never there for me.I owe my success today as a lawyer to my mother.I am sure you have not seen the worst of marriages.

As someone who was mediating on at least 3 divorce cases a day,I should not even be getting married with all. I have heard a lot of sad/negative stories to the point that nothing surprises me anymore.From a man who woke his wife up in d middle of the night,bathed her with acid simply because she bought a land.Abi is it a woman who was sleeping with her husband's younger cousin that was living with them?Yet,I still believe that marriage is a beautiful thing if you are well prepared and do it when its right for you.With God,financial and emotional maturity,there's nothing you can't survive.My mother always taught me never to judge a man based on my father,or what I see as a divorce attorney.

Today I am engaged to an amazing man that cares for me more than he cares for himself.Trust me when I say I am more than willing to spend the rest of my life with him.In the pastI, didn't want to ever get married,but my mum would tell me to reject it for myself!That I will have a happy marriage,and I started making a conscious effort to work at my relationship.There is no perfect relationship/marriage.The key is to apologize and laugh it off.understanding is very important too.Many get married,without trying to understand themselves to a point where they can cohabit peacefully.I have a very hot temper but he has figured out a way to calm me down,me too I have to bend in most cases and swallow my pride to apologize to him when we have issues.


Never for once has he raised his hand to hit me,or disrespect me.Not all men are physically abusive,there are still men who would never hit a woman!He doesn't have so much money,so I am not even with him for what he can do for me.I am with him because I love the way he loves me,and I have come to love him more than he loves me with each passing day.I see in him the accomplished man he would become in future.With me by his side,there's nothing he can't achieve because I am willing to support and encourage him in his dreams.Marriage based on deep love will always find a way to overcome challenges.Hold on and I am sure you will meet the one that will make you come and modify this post in a few months time.
As for those saying those who have been. married for less than 10 years should not talk about being happily married.I pity you!More than 50 percent of the divorce cases I handle happens between couples married for less than 5 years.[/b]Newly married couples have a lot of issues ranging from family interference,adjustments to the quirky habits and values of their partner.He may want the light on at night,while she doesn't sleep with lights on.Probably they were just seeing on weekends during courtship so one had to succumb to the will of the other.Things like that are the issues they face,for the immature ones it can lead to their divorce.That's where he/or she says their partner doesn't respect his/her opinion,simply because they couldn't find a way to resolve little issues.

The grudge of those small things head on to affect the big things.Before you know it they have drifted apart and calling up a lawyer to file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences.So,for someone to have crossed that. 5 year mark means they are done with the adjustment stage in marriage,therefore more compatible and mature to handle challenges.

Pidggin:
Marriage is too complicated to make anyone constantly happy. Only you can make yourself happy constantly, it is a decision.

madamL:
my marriage will be 25 years this march and we look forward to many more years of life together. the secret? first, there is no provision for divorce. partners for life, that's the slogan and bearing that in mind, we have to tough it out together to the very end. the most important thing is that i married a man who is patient and who rarely loses his temper. back in the days, i was temperamental and knew that so i picked a cool-headed fellow who ignored my tantrums in the early days; i have changed much though with time.
again, we used to be serious opposites, and it turned out that his weak points were my strong points so we took consolation in that when our desires and ways clashed. over time, we have ceased to be opposites, we have a middle ground in most things. then another secret is that we have a way of banding together to face any outsider which includes his relations and mine, we speak with one voice to all outsiders and settled the rest of the outstanding matters out of their sight. he encourages me a lot. he has twice chased me back to school for two masters degrees. he also agreed to take care of our very small kids then when i did a lot of junketing as a top journalist.
he is full of confidence and does not feel threatened by any height i want to attain, he is my loudest cheerleader.
i think the defining moment was when we had a big disagreement very early in the union and he called in my sister to judge the matter. i bluntly refused to talk and told him that it was entirely our biz; no one else has ever dared to act as judge in our matter since then.
i wonder the type of ndi oga some women marry that keep tormenting them and refusing to eat at every opportunity. if a man cannot be your good friend and lover, run away fast. we go do the anniversary party soon and i fit invite everybody, rice and stew very plenty.

confun:
brother, no it won't......

taryour:
Nice thread,here is what works for me.
Firstly I went into my relationship with a statement on my mind(if my mum can remain with my dad with all the challenges they had which I also witnessed,then I can do better)
Ability to communicate effectively, while dating and up till now in marriage with 2 kids our communication has remained very very solid.
Communication has really helped my relationship a lot,it helps us both trash our differences amicably,there are somethings I can't say to my hubby face(cause I know I might not present it well and I don't want to be rude) so I put it into a chat and he understands me perfectly well. Each time we have our arguments,we make sure we apologise n trash it out before the end of the day.we do not go to bed in anger.
I have also learnt not to argue so much with my hubby,whenever he is angry with me am quite and let his anger subside then I apologise(even if deep down in my heart I know I wasn't wrong)I still apologise,I know how angry my hubby can get and I know better than to push further,we both have a bad temper but there can only be one leader,outside my home you don't dare mess with me,I will dish it to you very hot and spicy. I am the very aggressive type but hubby isn't,he is more calm than I am. I argue a lot too but not with hubby except in cases when we are gisting and having fun. Hubby loves football but I hate it with everything but what can I do I simply got used to it,my first son already took after him as a football fan.
We both understand ourselves perfectly,we have been together for over 10years now. We have had our ups and downs which has taught us to be more united and understand ourselves better.
Our sex life might not be has active as when we where still single cause of kids but we have both been active,we have fun anywhere in the house(of course when kids are asleep or in school).we try out new things and I sure don't forget my bowl of ice-cream when I want to give a special treat(call me a dirty woman/raw woman/sex freak/whatever) I care less,his my man.
We have remained each others best friends,we share gifts,watch movies together,shop together,hubby goes to market for me at times and cook as well, we gossip together and share news with each other. We are both social media fans(we actually meet on a social forum and started as friends before dating which led to our marriage). We don't hide anything from each other. He introduced me to nairaland and he is also a active member on nairaland.
We do not encourage 3rd parties into our affairs,it has never and will never happen. What ever happens within our walls die within our walls.we both help ourselves to remain strong in work life and business life. We support ourselves in every possible way we can with the help of God and for once I have never regretted meeting my hubby. If there is a next life,I would chose the same man all over again.
My marriage is not perfect cause there is no perfect marriage but I tell you,marriage is fun and am loving it all the way.

placeofallure:
It's easier for you to stay happily married if you both married each other based on nothing but pure love, without ulterior motives. You know the kind of love that can overlook shortcomings or flaws. You're good whether she adds weight or he looses his job or babies are not forthcoming.

My marriage to the glory of God is happy and healthy. We've known ourselves for over a decade before we got married and we've been married for 5 years. We're still inseparable like Siamese twins and everyone around us knows this. Our sex life is the healthiest part of our union. At gunpoint I can vouch for my husband. We're both committed to the marriage and God has been helping us. Marriage can be very exciting if you find the right mate to journey with.

modath:



Truly happy is not exact science, it is what one makes of it...

Wishing you a prosperous, peaceful & truly happy 2016.

tete7000:


Please o, you avoided sex as married couple because it displeases God. Can you please expantiate?

ivyT:


Aww.this is so lovely

i tap into ur marriage success.Amen

lopon:
If you want to be happily married then busy yourself with more important things like, how crude oil is affecting the economic, who will win UEFA Champions Leaque, the new coach of super eagles, etc. and while the woman should be concerned about which country to travel for vacation, which car to buy, where to live, the school the children would attend, but provide the cash.

Skmoda360:

how about your character? Have you checked it? Keep taping, your character might be an enemy to ur intending marriage.

Ginaz:
One day I'll be happily married but for the main time, my husband is searching for me. He'll find me soon. Can someone please give him a map? He's looking at the wrong places while I'm here waiting for him to come

Teddeebear:
lol, if one can keep to her words or belief, its a different case then …

if one can't see the future only seeing the present, one may not go far in life

ivyT:


Thats it..

anumide:
I want to be your friend

Hoyehdayg:


Not as married couple. While we were in a relationship before we got married.

Teddeebear:
lol, i for pm you, but You said you love good things, me no want stories that touches oooo

ivyT:


its 'want' not 'love' _so u want ordinary things of life;dats a big lie.

2goodbobo:
I can beat my chest and confidently tell you that i am happily married.

I have been married for few years now and we dated for more than a year

before we got married. My wife is so loving, God-fearing, lettered, good cook, beautiful,

submissive, and a helper. Infact i got married to my wife when i had no job and she

was really supportive. But all that is history because God blessed me with a job few weeks

after my wedding. We dont just see ourselves as couples but friends hence, is so easy for us

to leave together and apologise to each other when fight dey . God has blessed our union

with a beautiful girl. I want to use this medium to say a big thank you to my wife for all the

unconditional love you have shown me. Marraige with you is simple . I will marry you over

and over again! You have made me wear the crown of a prince among my firends and fam.

I can only pray to God to sustain us and keep us together.Honestly i dont have any reason

to complain about my marriage or my wife.


Finally, I also believe that if you show your wife love and affection, there is no how she will

not do the same to you. I also dont see myself as the head but instead see us as one body

and i make sure i apologise to her even when she is wrong. Like my Father will always say

" When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all then you are ready for marriage". Merci tout le monde.

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!..My house(it's not a home for me) is a living hell,I was born into it and until this moment,nothing has changed..Same goes for all the families I've ever come across..Do not be decieved,marry only when you've learnt taekwando like my mum and boxing like my dad..That is all there is to marriage,nothing more!

placeofallure:
It's easier for you to stay happily married if you both married each other based on nothing but pure love, without ulterior motives. You know the kind of love that can overlook shortcomings or flaws. You're good whether she adds weight or he looses his job or babies are not forthcoming.

My marriage to the glory of God is happy and healthy. We've known ourselves for over a decade before we got married and we've been married for 5 years. We're still inseparable like Siamese twins and everyone around us knows this. Our sex life is the healthiest part of our union. At gunpoint I can vouch for my husband. We're both committed to the marriage and God has been helping us. Marriage can be very exciting if you find the right mate to journey with.

funmi2013:
. AwwWw so sweet I tap into ur happy marriage, am just a year in my marriage, I want to live long with hubby and be happy together with our children, may God bless our marriages

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!..My house(it's not a home for me) is a living hell,I was born into it and until this moment,nothing has changed..Same goes for all the families I've ever come across..Do not be decieved,marry only when you've learnt taekwando like my mum and boxing like my dad..That is all there is to marriage,nothing more!