₦airaland Forum

The op is baseless to me. We have ladies that are Virgin and they have the qualities of good woman too.
For a lady to keep her Virginity means she has some self control, which is a good quality of a wife.

mzvyne:
That was just wishful thinking...

Okay.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
they will come for u now. These people will come for u if they find out u know their seccret. That some ladies do anal just to remain virgins

Lol!

Decker:
Virginity is one of the most overrated concepts of this modern day contemporary west african society.

It's so annoying when I hear guys say that they only want to marry a virgin, as if marrying a virgin guarantees having a happy marriage. Or as if marrying a virgin means you have married the best kind of woman.

Honestly, looking at it closely, what does one stand to again by marrying a virgin?
That you are the first to have sex with her? What else? Nothing, and in the long run the disadvantages that comes with marrying a virgin outweighs the only advantage which is being the first to have sex with her.

And what's more annoying is that most of the men who claim to want to marry virgins aren't virgins themselves, and have actually disvirgened ladies in the past.

So if I meet a woman who has all the qualities I need in a woman, but isn't a virgin, then I shouldn't marry her? Isn't that stupidity? Then if I see a girl who is a virgin then I should marry her?

And people have the mindset of associating decency and having a good character with virginity. According to them, any girl who is a virgin is decent and has self control and would be faithful in the marriage, but these people are wrong and the reverse of what they believe is what we see today in our society.

As for me, I would like to marry a lady who has some sexual experience. Not some sexual novice. Besides, I can't even marry someone I haven't had sex with.

Bro! Dts ur opinion,wc every1 is entitled to.besyds,one's'belief abt wat u want goes a long way.if i bliv a virgin wl mk a good wife bt myt hv flaws i'll b able to cope with,fine.it dsnt mean i shud criticise sm1 who hs a diff view.learn to respect pple's beliefs.
All ds ur tori is to justify fornication bt ua wrong. Call a spade a spade,whatever is bad is always bad!

RedCapChief:
Is it an achievement if you don't steal? No
Is it an achievement if you don't get a job? No
Is it an achievement if you don't disrespect your parents? No


Achievements are given to people who do things

So when you do things like stealing, it's an achievement?
Just change your mindset. Whether you like it or yes, a virgin lady or guy will be more respected by his or her spouse than non-virgins, and we all know that doesn't make them a better wife or husband.

Toks2008:
You don marry one?

Go find out what happened if you know of an instance.

The way a man treats a woman is not related to her virginity. If he is a cheat, he will continue to cheat. Her virginity will not cause him to change. If he is a violent wife-beater, her virginity will not cause him to change.

..nice piece..thumbs up..

maiahsaiah:
Pls o, I need a virgin husband but not those type that will be claiming it cos they've nt put it in a woman's v**..., but they put it everywhere including their hands just like some women will engage only in anal nd be claiming virgin, quite disgusting!!

anal alone?...tsnot possible

igboboy3:
The way a man treats a woman is not related to her virginity. If he is a cheat, he will continue to cheat. Her virginity will not cause him to change. If he is a violent wife-beater, her virginity will not cause him to change.

Please stop mentioning cheating when it comes to man and woman relationship..that you married a virgin does not mean the man will be faithful to her.

There is this special respect and regard a man has for a virgin wife and that is not what we should argue about.

jmoore:
FYI: Virginity is not the only thing I seek, other good qualities of a virtuous woman are included too. But virginity can never be negotiated. My life, my choice [/font]

how wud yhu know if she is really a virgin??..if on ur wedding nyt yhu find out she lied,wat wud you do?

Carnations:
This virginity thing. It seems a big issue for you. And it’s generating awkward contradictions in you. It’s the hidden reason you’re struggling with your emotions. You’re conflicted inside because you know you have no standing.

Okay, here’s the thing: In life, you must learn to use appropriate yardstick to judge and determine issues. You don’t use a ruler for example to measure the purity of water. That’s an inappropriate instrument though a measurement. Neither do you use a stethoscope to measure the pressure of a tyre. It’s a wrong pressure gauge. In the same manner, you can’t use dutifulness in church as parameter to determine the suitability of a conjugal prospect. It can serve as corroborative factor or even corroborant, but it cannot be the primary basis of consideration. A good church worker is not necessarily going to be a good wife, though the word “good” is common. Two separate issues. I mean, that she can sing down the heavens doesn’t mean she will make you a good wife. Vocal dexterity is not qualification for coupling. Choir is not a marriage context. If you base your marriage decision on her ability to sing, you’re clearly using a wrong means of measurement. A singing voice for example cannot help you determine if she’s clean or a relative of Unhygienix of Asterix fame. That’s how people arrive at wrong marital decisions. They use wrong parameters. And such a mistake can prove very costly to a man in particular.

Now let’s come to your issue. You want to marry a virgin. But there’s an inherent contradiction in your quest. You can’t test her virginity unless you sleep with her, in which case she’ll no longer be and you won’t marry a virgin. The truth is, all you have is her word. It’s what she says she is that she is at this stage of your relationship. You can’t even verify her word without compromising your faith. Now, here’s the irony of your quest for a virgin wife: You’re not a virgin yourself. At some point before you embraced your faith you engaged in sexual congresses. In other words, you have a past. In the same vein, she also has a past. But you’re willing to embrace your past but not hers.


As per your wife you want to be the man who “hit it first”, but tell me, the women you hit first who’ll marry those? In essence you can’t take what you dished out. The idea of someone being there before you consternates you. You can’t handle it, ironically. The reason she’s not giving you the confirmation you want on her virgin status is probably because she’s not. She likes you, wants you, but you’ve put impediment on progress: demanded for something she can’t amend retroactively. And so she can’t lie about her past, and she can’t tell you the truth either. Stalemate. You somehow think that her non-virginal status is indicative of a colourful and flavourful past. Perhaps. Same applies to you I guess. But you’ve not told me who she really is, just her sexual history. You didn’t indicate if she’s a loving and kindhearted woman. Whether or not she’s caring. You’ve not told me whether she’s trustworthy, whether she’s someone you can entrust your life to. And it’s not as if you’re accusing her of promiscuity. So the broken hymen just indicates she’s had sex in the past.

What I’m trying to say is, virginity is really not a test of whether someone will make you a good wife. You’re using a ruler to measure tyre pressure. Now if virginity is a psychological barrier for you, I’d say don’t go into marriage with her. You’ll keep judging her in the present because you can’t deal with her past. I’ll advice you keep your imagination in check. Stop imagining someone in the past on top of her. It’s unhelpful. But you have to reconcile yourself to the possibility you may not marry a virgin. Being real! Learn to be real in life. Your generation is very experimental with sex, and sexual imagery is so pervasive. Your music videos are highly suggestive. Think Anaconda. You’re being conditioned to accept raw sexuality. That conditioning generates results. Makes kids want to experiment with sex.

Be careful that your quest for virginity doesn’t make you miss a very wonderful and loving woman. Perhaps the first thing you ought to consider is what you want in a wife, what should you want in a wife. If this woman meets your criteria of a good wife to you I’d say go for her. You don’t want to regret not marrying her. If you marry an alternate, note that the virginity qualification will end on your wedding night. Then the marriage begins. You don’t want a wife who qualifies for only the wedding night do you? What happens in the days and years ahead? The faith you avow is very much anchored on Paul’s immortal words: If any man (or woman) be in Christ, he or she is a new creature. Old things have passed away. All things have become new. It’s either you’re going to accept God’s word concerning this lady or not. The decision is yours.

If you don’t however, that will be most unfortunate. I’m sure you’ve read about Pharisees. They were fond of using differing standards- one for themselves, another for others. Jesus had a running battle with those guys. You’re not a Pharisee are you? You can’t judge this lady by one set of standards and use another for yourself. It’s pharisaic.

http://manly.ng/nigerian-man-marry-a-virgin/


Follow Leke Alder on Twitter: @lekealde

Yes, i agree that virginity may not be a good measuring rod for wifeyness. but "shocker" truth: this statement comes from mostly non-virgins.

i wonder what i have to do to convince people that though virginity is fast losing fashion, there are people who not only subscribe to it, but are reaping the spiritual and physical blessedness of it.
When nature has kept something, make we leave am like that and see whether we will be the better or worse for it.
the things that break marriages all have some form connection to the fact of sexual divergence or the other, which would be almost impossible if the two of them married as virgins.
Let us do our part first, and watch nature respond. Abstain frm sex till marriage!!!!!!

rudestmcblaze:
if na virgin u wan marry...good luck

As for me, I wan someone with experience

lyk an ash..?

Truly, I knw virgins are considerably rare out there. And, d chance of getting married to a virgin is very low....bt I don't knw y I c most girls as rags. I pray God 4givs me......cos they don't understand me, neither do I understand myself(nature)....I luk 4ward 2 being faithful 2 whosoever I end up marrying.

RexKex:
As usual, The Common Question: "The woman you deflowered, Who will marry her"


BUT what about the virgin Guys like me? How can I, After enduring The sexual urge now get married to someone whose Vagiina Has welcomed numerous dicks, Fingers & Mouths?


I Am not advocating for those with the desire to wed Virgins BUT threads like this make the Virgin Girl want to give it all up. When Sex has become like a virtue & when Most girls believe virginity Is archaic, Why will the virgin Girl cherish her chastity?


I have Long lost faith in the possibility of finding a virgin wife. It is unfortunately impossible to find a Virgin, Quote that anywhere!


So my Dear Olivia, Nobody is looking down on you for not Being a virgin. So don't discourage that Little girl trying hard to keep her chastity. If there's any message this thread is trying to send across, I think it will be this: "Virginty is archaic & Virgins are a Crazy bunch"

My guy I owe you four cold bottles of Orijin and two plates of snake meat pepper soup.


In as much as I would not blame a girl ( or guy ) for losing her virginity , the write up make it seem as though virginity is overrated and girls are at liberty to have sex. Virginity is still a thing of pride and we must encourage our daughters to save theirs till marriage.

jmoore:
FYI: Virginity is not the only thing I seek, other good qualities of a virtuous woman are included too. But virginity can never be negotiated. My life, my choice [/font]

God bless u 'flenty flenty' bro

neoapocalypse:
My guy I owe you four cold bottles of Orijin and two plates of snake meat pepper soup.


In as much as I would not blame a girl ( or guy ) for losing her virginity , the write up make it seem as though virginity is overrated and girls are at liberty to have sex. Virginity is still a thing of pride and we must encourage our daughters to save theirs till marriage.

Exactly!


I don't eat Snake though, I would prefer Goat Meat.

AnakinSkywalker:
While I accept the fact that men are hypocritical when it comes to the issue of virginity and that being a virgin does not imply being a good wife,
I do not accept some of the logic in your argument. I chose not to be verbose about my point. It is simple;
..







IF WOMEN CLOSED THEIR LEGS MEN WILL NOT DISVIRGIN THEM





When I come to you and buy you all the Mr Biggs, Suya and iPhone 22, and I finally demand for sex, please reply with a resounding ''NO''!!!!. And if I throw a fit and say it is over, please dislocate your wrists while vigorously waving goodbye.

But a good piece nonetheless.

lol..I love this..esp d part about dislocating d wrist..

Carnations:
This virginity thing. It seems a big issue for you. And it’s generating awkward contradictions in you. It’s the hidden reason you’re struggling with your emotions. You’re conflicted inside because you know you have no standing.

Okay, here’s the thing: In life, you must learn to use appropriate yardstick to judge and determine issues. You don’t use a ruler for example to measure the purity of water. That’s an inappropriate instrument though a measurement. Neither do you use a stethoscope to measure the pressure of a tyre. It’s a wrong pressure gauge. In the same manner, you can’t use dutifulness in church as parameter to determine the suitability of a conjugal prospect. It can serve as corroborative factor or even corroborant, but it cannot be the primary basis of consideration. A good church worker is not necessarily going to be a good wife, though the word “good” is common. Two separate issues. I mean, that she can sing down the heavens doesn’t mean she will make you a good wife. Vocal dexterity is not qualification for coupling. Choir is not a marriage context. If you base your marriage decision on her ability to sing, you’re clearly using a wrong means of measurement. A singing voice for example cannot help you determine if she’s clean or a relative of Unhygienix of Asterix fame. That’s how people arrive at wrong marital decisions. They use wrong parameters. And such a mistake can prove very costly to a man in particular.

Now let’s come to your issue. You want to marry a virgin. But there’s an inherent contradiction in your quest. You can’t test her virginity unless you sleep with her, in which case she’ll no longer be and you won’t marry a virgin. The truth is, all you have is her word. It’s what she says she is that she is at this stage of your relationship. You can’t even verify her word without compromising your faith. Now, here’s the irony of your quest for a virgin wife: You’re not a virgin yourself. At some point before you embraced your faith you engaged in sexual congresses. In other words, you have a past. In the same vein, she also has a past. But you’re willing to embrace your past but not hers.


As per your wife you want to be the man who “hit it first”, but tell me, the women you hit first who’ll marry those? In essence you can’t take what you dished out. The idea of someone being there before you consternates you. You can’t handle it, ironically. The reason she’s not giving you the confirmation you want on her virgin status is probably because she’s not. She likes you, wants you, but you’ve put impediment on progress: demanded for something she can’t amend retroactively. And so she can’t lie about her past, and she can’t tell you the truth either. Stalemate. You somehow think that her non-virginal status is indicative of a colourful and flavourful past. Perhaps. Same applies to you I guess. But you’ve not told me who she really is, just her sexual history. You didn’t indicate if she’s a loving and kindhearted woman. Whether or not she’s caring. You’ve not told me whether she’s trustworthy, whether she’s someone you can entrust your life to. And it’s not as if you’re accusing her of promiscuity. So the broken hymen just indicates she’s had sex in the past.

What I’m trying to say is, virginity is really not a test of whether someone will make you a good wife. You’re using a ruler to measure tyre pressure. Now if virginity is a psychological barrier for you, I’d say don’t go into marriage with her. You’ll keep judging her in the present because you can’t deal with her past. I’ll advice you keep your imagination in check. Stop imagining someone in the past on top of her. It’s unhelpful. But you have to reconcile yourself to the possibility you may not marry a virgin. Being real! Learn to be real in life. Your generation is very experimental with sex, and sexual imagery is so pervasive. Your music videos are highly suggestive. Think Anaconda. You’re being conditioned to accept raw sexuality. That conditioning generates results. Makes kids want to experiment with sex.

Be careful that your quest for virginity doesn’t make you miss a very wonderful and loving woman. Perhaps the first thing you ought to consider is what you want in a wife, what should you want in a wife. If this woman meets your criteria of a good wife to you I’d say go for her. You don’t want to regret not marrying her. If you marry an alternate, note that the virginity qualification will end on your wedding night. Then the marriage begins. You don’t want a wife who qualifies for only the wedding night do you? What happens in the days and years ahead? The faith you avow is very much anchored on Paul’s immortal words: If any man (or woman) be in Christ, he or she is a new creature. Old things have passed away. All things have become new. It’s either you’re going to accept God’s word concerning this lady or not. The decision is yours.

If you don’t however, that will be most unfortunate. I’m sure you’ve read about Pharisees. They were fond of using differing standards- one for themselves, another for others. Jesus had a running battle with those guys. You’re not a Pharisee are you? You can’t judge this lady by one set of standards and use another for yourself. It’s pharisaic.

http://manly.ng/nigerian-man-marry-a-virgin/


Follow Leke Alder on Twitter: @lekealde

Well, I'm willing to embrace her non-penetrative past (if there's anything like that). Most people doing it actually know the repercussions of what they're doing, probably that's why our sex organs are 'non-functional' until we mature enough to take decisions.
So to me, its like slapping me intentionally & then saying "sorry"

RexKex:
Exactly!


I don't eat Snake though, I would prefer Goat Meat.

Fresh outta goat meat pepper soup but we have Alligator pepper soup , monitor lizard pepper soup , dog pepper soup and cat pepper soup , I wouldn't choose the cat pepper soup though cos my neighbour said his old witch aunt went missing yesterday , the same time we killed the cat

AyamConfidence:
i dont mean it that way Mr Epistler...i mean the comparison and reasons and debate over virginity has become and everyday affair and it is kinda sickening to me thats all

Oh okey.

neoapocalypse:
Fresh outta goat meat pepper soup but we have Alligator pepper soup , monitor lizard pepper soup , dog pepper soup and cat pepper soup , I wouldn't choose the cat pepper soup though cos my neighbour said his old witch aunt went missing yesterday , the same time we killed the cat

Lol...

I guess this thread is meant to validate oloshos. A damned generation, lost it every ways. At this rate, murder will become fashionable one day

[size=18pt]OP, but that does not mean guys should marry prostitutes.
Frankly speaking, many girls behave like pros.
Promiscuity leads to unwanted pregnancies and several abortions doing collateral damages to your reproductive organs and self worth as a woman.

It is most embarrassing to sit with your buddies at a club and coincidentally they are bragging about how they banged a girl, but they don't know that she is your girlfriend.
Or you are at the airport with your wife and some guys wave at her and smirk, because they have all taken their turns on her before.

There is nothing wrong in praying and wishing for a virgin as a wife.
Many girls want to keep their virginity till wedding night and whether their husband is a virgin or not does not matter, because they are preserving their virginity for their own dignity, integrity and purity.
Virginity preserves humanity.

Women should be chaste and not be in haste to waste their seeds.

This Calculator Tells You How Many Sex Partners You’ve Been Exposed To And It’s HORRIFYING
http://totalsororitymove.com/this-calculator-tells-you-how-many-sex-partners-youve-been-exposed-to-and-its-horrifying/
[/size]

atimes wen I c d way some guys and girls livevlyk dogs in my school here,I just imagine they'd b d one at a point in tym putting on white wedding gown or suit..what does dat colour white signifies? why not put on a red gown......in fact there are some I'd see and conclude if they were d only lady left in d world,den its beta to remain single...

Mintayo:
The op is baseless to me. We have ladies that are Virgin and they have the qualities of good woman too.
For a lady to keep her Virginity means she has some self control, which is a good quality of a wife.

[size=18pt]The OP is afraid of losing out to decent competitors since she has lost hers.[/size]

The write-up pictures the invented construction of reality, well, on the contrary in our world today( the world over,spanning through West Africa specially) 'Virgins' are mercilessly underrated- probably because only a few virtuous women have it, while many if not all have been 'bleeped'!

Rollar:
As in. I was shocked when I read the piece, until I got to the end and saw she wasn't the author. Really impressive write up, especially the use of imagery and allusions. That bit about Asterix and Obelix took me down memory lane. For some strange reason, Cacophonix was always my favorite character. Maybe because he was always getting thumped
Anyway, virgins are overrated. Most girls just have sex and clean up, but when virgins get naughty, hmmmm. I'd rather have a girl that has had sex once or twice, than a 'virgin' that has lost count of how many dicks she's sucked, how many fingers have strummed her guitar, how many times her anus has been ripped in half, how many guys have slapped her bare ass, etc. The list goes on and on. Sometimes these so-called virgins are actually more sexually exposed/adventurous than non-virgins

Every non-virgin has had sex "just once or twice"... Or at least so they'll tell u

Melsan:
Longest time..hawayu?

Yes o..its bin a while I visited 30plus singles thread,I have lots to catch up on and read lol..I av been good thank you.. I trust you are great too?happy new year

I think the same way the ladies want men with big box, that's how the men too want ladies that are virgins.
Anybody is free to desire anything. That's not how God judges. I have seen core womanizers who didn't even desire virgins end up marrying virgins.
In CHRIST one's rough past is dead. If a wise man goes to his past, he is going there to learn.
If a virgin is she who will partner perfectly with him in his purpose and destiny then no matter how he has been rough in the past, it is inconsequential, he will surely marry a virgin. Life is a mystery. Let's leave it solely to the Creator.

Decker:
1. So asides the inconsequential psychological gratification you derive from getting her brand new, what else? After it phases off and reality sets in, what's then going to be the essence of getting her new? Would being a virgin make her fulfill her duties as your wife?

2. So all women who have had sex, have aborted babies? Really? And you feel justified thinking this way?

3)How many exes of married couples have gone about telling people that they hit someone's wife before? And even if somehow someone decides to tell the world that he had sex with your wife before you married her, which the chances of this happening is really slim, how does that change anything? You have married her and she is your wife. That won't change anything. Everyone has a past.

4) So all non virgins have as STDs? And aren't you supposed to do a medical test to assure that both you and your wife are free from STDs before you get married?

5) Wrong. It's not a sign of self control and it's not a guarantee that she would stay faithful during marriage. What's your guarantee that you would even be able to satisfy her when you eventually begin to have sex with her? Women change when they start to have sex. What if she starts having a high drive or demand for sex and you don't? What if she discover that you can't satisfy her sexually? What would she do in such case? Won't she begin to look for someone else to satisfy her? Isn't that unfaithfulness?

6) Lol. Who told you two virgins having sex for the first time on their wedding night normally have an incredible night? Or who told you that they would enjoy the sex more than if it's two non virgins? In fact, with all the blood and the anxiety and the noviceness, the sex is normally boring and fast and nothing worth waiting all that time for.

7) Role model for your kids? And what's your assurance that your kids would follow your footsteps? And would telling your kids that their parents were virgins when they married mean that they would decide to be virgins themselves?

I hope you find a woman who has those qualities you seek and who is also a virgin and I hope you don't grow old before you do.

Damn! This guy is good.This response deserves The Punch front page title.

every virgin was a hit back to back.

from friend zone to relationship to courtship to marriage.

yet olosho never repent.

The write-up although interesting points were highlighted but it mirrors the invented configuration of reality by the author and his cohort- #YesToPre-MaritalSexGroup- well, the true be told, the world over, inclusive of West Africa countries had long forgotten and buried the supposed virtue attached to Virgins. In fact, Virgins are mercilessly underrated, probably because the all world have been 'F*uck'! As it is the origin same is virgin....