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Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 9:44am On Feb 18, 2016 |
You did marry the wrong woman. You received a vision during courtship but ignored it......guess it was the blinding "love". She might appear to protect you and her financial interests but the bellicose vein she employs is disturbing. Be careful. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 9:44am On Feb 18, 2016 |
Oh Lord, why is this woman disgracing us like this. The heart of man is truly wicked 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by TOPCRUISE(m): 9:45am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16:THEN SHE IS AS STINGY AS A BEE. BUT DONT TELL ME YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF THIS ATTITUDE OF HERS BEFORE YOU MARRIED HER 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by chidijossy(m): 9:45am On Feb 18, 2016 |
I agree with you zayhal: 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by famzynet: 9:46am On Feb 18, 2016 |
The reason why I am scared of marriage. Never stop helping your brother because of your wife. You cannot have another brother but you can have another wife anytime you like. I have only one brother and God punish that woman wey wan come separate us. Bros,call your brother and apologise to him for the insult your wife gave to him by having the audacity to call him to bring back the property. I am sure sitting down yr wife and counselling her will not help cos that is who she is. Just stop telling her anytime you want to help your brother. But if she got to know by chance, then don't bother yourself. She can rant all she can,be angry all she can or go to hell. This type of behaviour is what I call Arrant Nonsense. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 9:46am On Feb 18, 2016 |
mutiply:God bless you for this comment 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by xtervaganza(m): 9:46am On Feb 18, 2016 |
I'm seeing far too many stoopid advisers here and it upsets me deeply. Why would you hide your intention of helping your bro from your wife? Why? Is it because you fear her or respect her? If you fear your wife then you're a big old fool (sorry to say) and you're a poocee too. If you claim to respect her by not telling her b4 you help your fam then you're stoopid again and it means she does not respect you in any way. When you get home today, sit her down and tell her you'll continue to help your brother for as long as possible and let it be the last time she will be angry at you helping your family. Let her know she will see hell the next she queries your good deed 7 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Romzy26: 9:47am On Feb 18, 2016 |
I don't think being secretive would help either. Let her know when u want to help ur family member with anything but without seeking her opinion. Ur brother is someone u grew up with all ur life. U've known ur wife for only like 2 yrs now. Sit her down and talk to her, ask her why she doesn't like u helping ur brother/family out in time of needs. Have a long deep convo with her. Let her no that as long as helping them out don't affect ur providing for ur nuclear family u are going to continue helping. Stand ur grounds. She wud come to terms. If u start fearing ur wife now that "oh I can't help my brother oh, or my family if she finds out she wud be angry oh" then my brother u are in deep shit. She wud start controlling ur life, who ur frnds are, when u shud eat, sleep and even shit. Its psychological bro. Talking 4rm someone close experience. STAND YOUR GROUNDS BRO 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by omegatwelve: 9:48am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16:also think what will happen when she get wind of it not from you. I don't think this is right decision. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 9:48am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16:Some women are naturally selfish and wicked. You just have to bear your cross. Marriage is for better and for worse 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Bebson007(m): 9:49am On Feb 18, 2016 |
Oga stop complaining.
If that is how is, then you adjust reajust ur activities log.
You may decide to hide some important things from her.
Bleep her very well at night. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by ozoemenaca: 9:49am On Feb 18, 2016 |
The problem you mentioned is in 70% of married women. You would observe that in most families its only the family of the wife that comes around the house just because of this kind of problem, Soon your brother would notice the kind of woman she is and would start avoiding coming to your house just because he would not want to see you with a broken home. Make sure whatever you can do for the family of your wife you do it for them according to your ability and also go ahead and do for your family what you feel you can do for them. If she likes let her talk from today to next year on that matter, you let her realize that you are the man of the house and that is the decision you have taken for the benefit of her family and your own family and that you don't intend to revise it and she should learn to leave with it. 6 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Ghost447(m): 9:50am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16:Apparently you ignored the red flags while dating her and now you have to deal with the situation as a real man. You must let her understand the difference between your relationship with her and that of your family are not the same. Moreover no one can accurately predicts the future. You must not abandon your family even if heaven fall. I'm not advising you to abandon your wife, but where two equities are equal the first in time prevail. Your wife may desert you when things are tough, but your family will always have your back. CONCLUSION: BE A MAN and overcome your wife's poor and self-centred attitude, this fight may not be easy, but with resilience you will triumph and I also wish you Goodluck. ( my brother's wife is doing what that your wife is doing) 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by famzynet: 9:50am On Feb 18, 2016 |
xtervaganza: I support you bros. True talk. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by LaurelP(m): 9:50am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16: Per ur last statement, bro u have a problem on ur hands. If ur wife can insist that u abandon something instead of giving it to ur bro and u agreed with her, sorry but u are not a man. No matter how sweet her vagina is u must stamp ur authority as a man. If u don't, it will get to a point where she will completely antagonize u from ur family and friends. I don't support u do things secretly o. Sit her down and tell her that u have the right to help ur people just as she does her own people. 6 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by yemi16: 9:51am On Feb 18, 2016 |
viktor01: Its really amazing how what is taught during pre-marriage classes quickly fast becoming almost irrelevant in the real world.. During the pre-marriage courses, the counsellors will advice that there should be togetherness, and that no one should hide anything from the other....no matter how little or insignificant.....and that there should be no secrets... Nowadays, this theory is almost not application anymore especially....really a strange and changing world!! 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Arsenate(m): 9:52am On Feb 18, 2016 |
Miami11:you are a pathetic disgusting human being. Shame on you. And same goes to the bastttards that liked your post. I don't know where they breed devils like you. Mtchweee 9 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 9:53am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16: In one word....Yes you did. You overlooked that one small part When she told you she dumped her first guy because he was the breadwinner of his household that should have raised a flag. Ask yourself this, does she not send money home to her own family when there is need. So why then is it a problem when you do it. At the time she mentioned told you about her ex you should have probed further. You should have made it clear that you still have a responsibility to your family. Imagine that she was your brothers wife. How would she feel if her husband told her that this is what his brothers wife did. Guy, you need to put your foot down. Its your house. You are the head. She cannot dictate who you help or how you treat your family. As long as you fulfill your responsibilities and strike a good balance between extended family and your immediate family. You need to ring it into her head. Not Violently anyway. Just let her know that they are still your responsibility too. You never know when you too might need them in future. 4 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by mrDennis(m): 9:54am On Feb 18, 2016 |
Mindfulness: If the woman can disrespect her husband by calling her in-law to return stuffs already given what happens when the husband hits a rough patch? Forget what the bible says family is more important than a wife (a stranger who has known her hubby for most times less than 4 years). Tomorrkw the woman can divorce him , but family is till and even after death . This is what happens when guys refuse to "be open " when courting babes for serious relationship /marriage . You should create scenarios and events that create quarrels so u see the ladies reaction /actions . Not coming to NL to ask if u married the wrong woman 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by freecocoa(f): 9:54am On Feb 18, 2016 |
Miami11:consult her before giving away things that's already been replaced, she likes holding on to old stuff, yea right. It's not even like the OP is giving it to someone else, it's his brother, his brother who has it a little tough. My dear, this is a wicked, stingy and selfish woman. 5 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Ghost447(m): 9:55am On Feb 18, 2016 |
godsluvee:No, not always. Divorce is an option and the phrase " for better for worse" is a misconception aimed at deluding shallow minded thinkers. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by RICKYMARIO(m): 9:56am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16:i think its the best thing for you to do that peace can reign. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Ayauche(f): 9:57am On Feb 18, 2016 |
zayhal: Yes I agree with dis cos u are already married and divorce is nt an option. To avoid trouble nd let peace reign cos some women can frustrate the living day light out of their hubby. And at times when u both are in the lovey dovey mood let her knw that she's now part of ur family and u of hers and so should treat each other's family right. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 9:58am On Feb 18, 2016 |
stonemasonn: He said he replaced those with new ones, what else does she want, come on. He can give his brother money be it in the open or wherever, and so what.They are brothers for crying out loud. He should be able to help his family without feeling restricted by whoever. She should respect herself please. My immediate elder brother helped our big brother to pay his children's tuition fees, till he got his feet back on the ground and no one complained and now he is so successful. No condition is permanent, she needs to stop fussing over unnecessary issue and focus more on enjoying her marriage. Haba 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by igwegeorgiano(m): 9:59am On Feb 18, 2016 |
sorry ma guy but i guess you are to blame i said this cos the foundation you laid at d start of ur courship is the product of what u re facing in your marriage. having said this, my advise to you will be that you call your wife sit her down and intimate her with the following: 1- you married her and paid all prescribed fees on her head thereby making you yhe husband. 2- her place in ur life can never be compromised for anything in d world.3- that she is married not only to you but ur entire family members so, she has an obligation to respect any decision u may want to take in helping your family members besides its ur exclusive right to do that without her permission. you can inform her if u so wish but deciding for you is out of the scene lastly never you allow yourself be control by your wife and try to screen her circle of friends. i wish u a peaceful married life. pls divorcing her should never come to ur mind. be wise and watch your back goodluck man.. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by yemi16: 9:59am On Feb 18, 2016 |
TheLeakyTribe: thanks for the advice, if you read my story well...i 'd mention that i already bought replacements for the items i didnt intend taking out. Its only common sense that if i already pre-informed her about it....even before buying a new one...By the way...its my house, my property...my money....and my elder brother we talking about here.... If she calls her sis to pick things without informing me and i find out....i dont even think i 'd be angry...coz it her SISTER...!!...as long as i know we dont neeed the item or there is a replacement for the item. thanks anyway! 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by freddaboh(m): 9:59am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16: My brother, it is simply an indirect power tussle between you and her. You can't just abandon your brother because of your wife, just like you can't abandon your wife because of your brother. Your challenge right now is choosing between what is right and peace. What is right is helping your brother when he needs you but you still want your peace from your wife. Solution: Never! Never!! Never!!! Allow a woman even your wife to stop you from doing what is right, you may not have peace temporarily but your conscience will be at peace eternally. Secondly, you have to let your wife know that you are the man in the house and not her and by the time you stand up to her and let her know that you are the man of the house and you can not for any whatsoever abandon your brother she will calm down. Trust me. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by trappatoni(m): 9:59am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16:bro to be honest with you, deep inside you lies the answer to your questions. You saw the handwriting on the wall but you ignored it, you wife's ex made the right decision, probably he was trying to work on that aspect before marriage but you saw the opportunity, took it and got married to the lady forgetting you have lost your BARGAINING POWER in that process. My dear wedding is day's event but marriage is forever, you'll have to accept the consequences of your actions. Above all you need prayers now more than ever. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by yemi16: 10:01am On Feb 18, 2016 |
Orlarmie: thanks and very well appreciated! |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 10:01am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16: Op....A good number of Nigerian women are like this..Growing up, I had aunts,and some female family friends that didn't want their husbands to spend on their relatives...An uncle died of HBP because he was the one providing for the elder brother and his family, demands here and there, he just slumped one evening and DAT was it....Till date, d elder brother is fighting for properties and death benefits (company)..The problem I have with ur wife is that she wants u to spend on her folks, bet y na? 1 Like |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 10:02am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16: If you do not take your stand now she will begin to assume you are weak and trust me you will have more troubles. Shebi na 6 month you don spend. Imagine what 1 year will bring. 2 years. 5 years. If you don't die 10 years. Sit her down and tell it to her straight. You married her because you loved her and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. But that does not mean she is the only person you are responsible for. Tell her that if she wants you to stop helping your family members then she must do the same too. She must never send any money or help to her family members otherwise she would only be a hypocrite. Tell her that very firmly. Let her understand that the topic is not up for argument. If she has any sense of moral righteousness she will go silent. And the matter ends there. Period. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by Nobody: 10:02am On Feb 18, 2016 |
The truth of the matter is that, any lady who wants to make me an enemy to my relations is a bad person. She was not there when you were hustling for the money. You are the one to make the decision, she should only advice you on how to spend your money and not quarrel you for helping your own blood. 2 Likes |
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