₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
If you ignore your brother, trust me another helper will locate him but one thing is certain: NOTHING is PERMANENT.

omirb:
Borther your wife had a very bad mentality. Moreover, do u have to anounce to your wife what u want to do for your family? Pls if u know that such as become her attitute, stop informing her of your giving plan. It is nonsence
Your welness even in future depend on how many people u have succesfully helped, and this is what we called impact. Every single thing u do today weda good or bad is awaiting u tomoro.
You are bless not because u are smart or sharper than others but because u are engraced. Anyone wu want to deprive u of giving is going to deprive u further blessing in life, because where giving stops is where the flow of d grace stop.
Now, tell her openly, she is not d one wu send u to schl, afterall some of those brothers in one way or d other must have contributed one or 2 things into your own life in d past. So how will a woman wu comes into your life in d afternoon stops your people from enjoying u. Be careful bro and tell her to stop me and my husband only kind of attitude. If she truly love u, she will love people around and especially your people, it is God wu gave them to u and not u choosing them from heaven by yourself. Beside, there is no one in this world will ever pray to be concern to people in life, but wen d situatn of life sometimes push people to where they dont want.
Anything can happen to anyone at anytime, because life is always 2 sided. So u might need to fight( I dont mean u chase her away, she is still your but u need to correct that attitued) to put a stop to that nonsence , that might be d language she understand.
Stop begging for such a thing, u can beg her for other things but not on things that may ruin your future.
Let me tell u d way we handle things with family and friend in my family, most women do not like giving to your family but if u are doing it to her family, she will not talk, so simply keep mute on whatever you as d man want to give to your family, do what u want to do and that is all
See, u will notice that this argument of quarelling wilk not hapen wen u want to do it to her side.
Just be careful bro and God bless u

God bless u also bro...thanks for the very luvlie advice.

Acidosis:


Can I PM you my account number sir?

Onegai:
No, actually the message is right. People are the issue.

I'm a gambling woman and I'm going to make a bet. I bet you N200 that she also acts jumpy when your relatives come around, like she's not comfy but dare not be rude and overdoes the fake smiles sometimes. Did I win my bet?

if that's true, she's suffering from I-Gats-Fight-Needless-Battles Disease. it's a nasty illness, ah tellya. There's a long cure for it and a short cure. Only take the short cure if you are a very calm and in-control person. ONLY IF YOU ARE CALM AND IN CONTROL AND HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR.

if you do, reply this and I'll post the short cure here.

Mindfulness:
And you think that fighting with your wife will get you there?

Echidimeh:
She is acting as if she is Oyibo wife.is only Oyibo women that behaves like that not we africans. Get a second wife to teach her a lesson.

Gologolo:
Why would you say he should stop giving to his siblings ...if he happens to be in hi siblings's shoes and what if things turn around for his siblings...what an advice is that?

poseidon12:
Wow! at her buying a house without her husband's knowledge and she is here talking about the op having to consult his wife before giving things to his dear brother. That is clear-cut hypocrisy right there.

Acidosis:

emenideen:
My post is coming late... I hope u get to c it.

Urs may be a little matter of communication or lack of it. Ur wife may be peeved because u don't consult ( man read; take excuse from) her b4 u take such decisions. If u don't, u should.

Ayam coming...

It does not excuse her method of seeking relevance in ur life ( that's one good reason). She should know better.
Why do u need to consult her?

let me come.

In fact, instead of not telling her, bring her in into d circle of ur close confidants. Tell her things. About u, about ur life.

Now, y do u need to consult her...?

because u r now one. U, the man, are the head. U must not despair, always lead d way.

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

asha01:
because what u don't know wont kill u

ariyike23:
for now help yur brother wiout informing her and temporarily stop talking about your family to her. Try pretending wen u get home ,be cold wid her,if possible sef dnt eat her food for that night only(this method drives women crazy),we dnt like it wen our food is nt been eaten.if she asks u wat is wrong,say nothing,jes be quiet and do your own thing for like 2 days,den on the 3rd day cme home very happy,buy wat she likes best nd pamper her,den wen shez relaxed,tell her u both need to talk,just tell her how much you love her and all dose sweet things,den ask her y she flares up wen u help ur broda,listen to her reason and wen shez done,let her know that no mata wat u do for ur broda,dt it will never affect hers,if possible sef,cook up a story of ao ur broda paid ur fees in the uni. Do show emotions,let her know ao much her attitude is hurting you . we also like to see our men show dier pains,if shez a sensitive person with the heart of a human,she wuld stop afta dis...

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

Miami11:
What is the content of the PM you sent me. Please communicate to me here openly I don't do all that PM thing.

Ochyglowsglows:
Please, i d advice u do not stop giving to ur siblings. For heaven's sake, they were there even before she was, am sure they v been helpful to u too. That was d major reason I broke up with my ex, he d always complain about the way i buy gifts for nephews and nieces, saying they v got parents. Imagine me going to visit my elder sister and I decide to buy things to make lunch, not even cos she asked, but cos I felt like doing so and he d start complaining, this is my own money in question o, not his. Pls, i d advise u keep giving to ur siblings in secret, she may eventually find out, but don't stop still. Cheers.

greatbrian:
Am a little boy but with the little experience hv had in live lemme chip in dz. When tins goes bad ur wife might loose u or even change her name. Buh one tin z sure ur brother and family will never do. They were there when u were growing up, they were dia when u failed in skul if u ever did. And they were still dia during d bad times. Talk to ur wife and mk her know u cherish ur family coz they r ur blood like she is. Nd if she won't change my brother pray. Peace

raumdeuter:
Yemi16

You seem to be going the wrong direction? You seem to prefer hiding from her? That is the wrong way to approach it

Be upfront with her. Tell her you are going to help your family and no Jupiter can stop you

let me tell you something, to her friends now, she is probably bragging that her husband is a mumu who she can push any way she wants

This is the way to approach it.

1. Tell her the stunt she tried earlier calling your brother to return that. never in her life should she try it again

2 Rake for her madly. Surprise her. You have been too predictable. Show a side of you she has never seen before. And be clear to her, every option except physical violence is on the table. You can divorce her (you dont believe in the "divoce is not an option" mantra

Theres one thing in relationship, The best way a woman can describe a man is "He is loving, kind, gentle etc BUT he can be crazy when you do this ......" The part in bold is the most important thing. if a woman knows she can do anything and get away with it or you would come beg her as soon as she shed a few tears then you are in for a rough ride in marriage

Sorry to ask but did you have previous gf before marrying her? Women need a loving but FIRM hand. Not someone they can always walk over

Xsolutions:
CHAI!, This Got to me shaa...hmm
@ OP: yemi16, I hope you saw this.

zayhal:
Stop telling her about everything you want to do for your brother. Help your brother (and other family members) without informing her. That way, peace will reign.

scantee:
wife material spoted

ariyike23:
lol..stop cracking me up..aos u doing?

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

yemi16:
hmmmm.....sounds like a good one there.....i 'll surely give it a though....thanks...
It's just sad i ll have to start keeping things away from her this early into my marriage.....so sad!!

mutiply:
I don't understand why you will want to help your brother and your wife will let hell loose. I think you are soft on her, you need to tell her you are the man of the house. If you have more than enough, please do assist him cause you never can tell how your tomorrow will be.

zayhal:
Stop telling her about everything you want to do for your brother. Help your brother (and other family members) without informing her. That way, peace will reign.