i luv dis topic,when rain falls on d leopard,does it wash off it spots? women are d same all over d world,pray as man nt 2b d tail...im nt against progress of wife but WOMEN are too volatile

Why not na?!

Aren't you women asking for gender equality?

If my wife can live in my house,I should be able to live in hers with her understanding and humility,God forbid.

I shall be the head and not the tail.

Now, let us examine this statement of yours one more time, I dont know if you typed this while high on a banned substance:

Nixiepie:
lolz.. And don't u think that will make the wife the head?the dictator and controller of the house ,no matter how submissive she is?

I would have a lot to say to you, but I 'll just let it slide because it might be your upbringing is to blame. Those responsible for raising you, clearly dropped the baton somewhere, that is why you are the way you are.


I'll instead blame the armed robbers and touts who gave you the support which made you eject this statement.

However, I WILL say this: nothing is more irritating than those people who sit on their frigging butts and instead of doing something about their miserable minds and bitter envious deadbeat mentalities, would rather find solace in destroying what they lack the capacity to build.


Hope I am clear.

[quote author=Ghost447 post=44249983][/quote]

Just in case you don't fully understand what cultured means.

guys,saying YES,with no doubt i knw u are still single,only if u married you know wat woman can do.Think Wisely

Your father is right to have said that. A man who lives in his wife's house is living in the incinerator.

A case study of a family friend; when d old man late d wife insisted dat his remains shud b buried near gutter in d compound d only son & family member's where nt happy but had no choice...one out of many i know of, only Grace of God dat will make a woman 2b obedient & submissive when they are in control

Back in the days its was behind every successful man is a woman,now its "beside" so what's gonna stop it from becoming "before"?

Too many damn kids here!! These same women? She would strive, struggle and build a house (BTW for herself and her children) and a Husband move in with her. That man is doomed unless his own house is loading and near completion.

I have seen many men destroyed by this kind of move. Even the man's children will disrespect him on top of the disrespect he would get in abundance from the inlaws.

am a lady (single) and I can stand solemnly and say DAT I can't allow my husband live in d house I built, instead we put up d house for rent and live in a rented apartment, reason being DAT a women sumtym over reacts towards little tins especially wen under tension or stress, while men on d oda hand know how to curb or handle situation without transferring aggression or nagging over little tins. it is not our fault DAT was how we were created except for sum due to civilisation had learnt to adjust.
Let me give u an example, I hav a neighbour who just got married July last year d compound is a mini estate as I am one of d first tenant, d father gave out two flats in d estate to his daughter as her wedding gift so she and her husband live in one and d oda was rented out, ever since den any little argument or quarrel d lady wud throw out his bags and property out of d house telling him to leave her house, Dis also happened yesterday.
I wipe bitterly for Dis man, she slaps him around d house walked his mother out of d house infact den plenty. All I know is DAT none of my sibling wud live in a house owned by a woman shikena.

Memejem:
I live in Canada. Nobody just kicks anyone out of the house just like that. Unlike nigeria the legal system here works appropriately. Call the police. The problem will be solved within a few hours.

Men have been throwing women out of thier matrimonial home in nigeria since the beginning of time. If a man owns a home or a woman owns a home it doesn't change thier character. Bad people will display bad behaviours regardless.

Let me speak from my experience. I am a registered nurse. I'm not married yet, but many of my colleagues are married to men who make less than them. Likewise many of my colleagues are married to husbands who make more than them. People here value character. Though all their husbands contribute very well financially. I don't know if its poverty that makes it seem like a lot of women in nigeria are driven to men because of money. But that's not the case the majority of the time here in my experience. At least in my group of friends and colleagues.

At the end of the day. We need to put this horrible mentality aside and think reasonably. If you married the spouse of your choosing with a good character. None of this is a problem. Only men who feel they must own and conquer all will view thier wife building a house as a challenge.

My view is they should build the house TOGETHER as husband and wife.

Really? What would Canadian Police do if the woman claims threat to her life, maybe after she has hooked up with a new lover at work?

In Nigeria, men throw women out of a house built by the women? I have never seen that.

I have a friend currently kicked out. Here in the West too. Never mind no history of violence and no neighbour has ever heard even raised voices. Her many times married & divorced toy boys shagging mum has engineered it.

As for your view of building jointly, I already offered that view in my previous post.

But here is matter: majority of 9ja women want a man who already has everything. They are not ready to start building after marriage.
If you come into a marriage, working and keeping all your money or not even working at all while the man funds everything, you're likely to diminish your respect. Never mind men claiming they can take care of you.

If you let people fund everything, some can start using it (wrongly) to exert excessive control over you.

Simple fact.

The second part, it won't surprise me if many of the nurses were sponsored to Canada by their husbands and given residence documents also.

Such men might have ditched certificates and did various jobs to fund both themselves & relatives at home. Maybe even the lady while studying or sorting out documents. But yet ensured they assisted the wives into the professions. I guess that's the minimum such woman can do, but many still cannot manage earning more than hubby and eventually mess up.

tpiah01:
Now, let us examine this statement of yours one more time, I dont know if you typed this while high on a banned substance:



I would have a lot to say to you, but I 'll just let it slide because it might be your upbringing is to blame. Those responsible for raising you, clearly dropped the baton somewhere, that is why you are the way you are.


I'll instead blame the armed robbers and touts who gave you the support which made you eject this statement.

However, I WILL say this: nothing is more irritating than those people who sit on their frigging butts and instead of doing something about their miserable minds and bitter envious deadbeat mentalities, would rather find solace in destroying what they lack the capacity to build.


Hope I am clear.

lolz,ok.. I appreciate ur input,and I guess u are female,but I only ask a question not a statement,judging by what most men will ask or say that's why I asked him,cheers

Nixiepie:
lolz,ok.. I appreciate ur input,and I guess u are female,but I only ask a question not a statement,judging by what most men will ask or say that's why I asked him,cheers

You were not raised well.

abbey621:
Questions like this one always cracks me up. Firstly, does the husband have a house of his own? If yes then there's no problem living in another one built by the wife. If no, then there are deeper issues that needs resolving. Point #2: While building the house, did the husband know about it? If yes then he surely must have contributed in some way, if no then there are deeper issues that needs resolving. Finally, a woman can build a house, it's not a crime but tradition and culture demands she includes her husband's name on the deed. If the husband is fearful that she might throw him out one day or become unruly, including his name on the deed ensures such a problem is mitigated. All in all, it's a very complicated problem which requires handling with maturity.

abbey621:


I think you need to read slower so you can comprehend better. Who said anything about requirement? Respecting your culture and tradition is not a requirement,[ it's a choice and many women would rather preserve their status than to be associated with the word rude, bossy and/or disrespectful. Point 2: Where did I mention many men owning more than one house? I used the word 'not rare', it means more and more people are doing it. Please try to argue your point constructively!

abbey621:


I've always believed that the best thing to do is to buy a house in your children's name but there's nothing wrong in putting your wife's name on the deed.

Demand

Synonyms

ask, challenge, inquire, interrogate, question, request
call for, cry out for, entail, involve, necessitate, need, require, take, want
claim, exact, expect, insist on, order



So women are demanded / required to include their husbands' names by the so called culture and tradition but men can choose whether they include her or not?

tpiah01:


You were not raised well.

wat is ur prob with me huh?pls don't contaminate my thread with ur bitterness,I ignored u the first time cos I don't want any e-brawls on my thread,so pls mind ur business or I report you

Memejem:


Just in case you don't fully understand what cultured means.

Oh God! How old are you? How many degrees have you obtained?. By striking out the word "culture" from your submission I was trying to tell you that you have already made a "valid" point even without the use of the word.

So I'm now a mind reader? I thought you were trying to point out that a cultured man would not do such.

Anyways I apologize. It was a misunderstanding. No need to get so upset.

Ghost447:
Oh God! How old are you? How many degrees have you obtained?. By striking out the word "culture" from your submission I was trying to tell you that you have already made a "valid" point even without the use of the word.

The question get as e be and would depend on who the wife is.

The reason most guys seem to not like the idea and would not accept it is that most women with the exception of an infinitesimal few cant handle success and still remain their normal submissive humble loving self. They would somehow begin to lord the man who might not like it. Unlike a man who would own the properties and you wont know.

For instance if you watch the attitude of most 9ja ladies in diaspora, its super disgusting when compared to those who haven't come over. You can literally see ego and empty forming.

I dey crase?

Memejem:
So I'm now a mind reader? I thought you were trying to point out that a cultured man would not do such.

Anyways I apologize. It was a misunderstanding. No need to get so upset.

This is really nice, I accept your apology. I appreciate your maturity and humility. Keep it up.

I'm not trying to argue with you. Just trying to have an articulate discussion with you. The majority of MY colleagues at work are Canadian citizens by birth. They were not sponsored by any husband. I don't know why you're unwilling to acknowledge that there a families out there who are able to live peacefully despite the woman earning more than the man.

I never said in nigeria men throw women out of a house the woman built. I said "matrimonial home". The family home. Traditionally, men in nigeria have built the house. When there is a quarrel at times some men get angry and send the wife away I.e "kicking her out of the matrimonial home". He feels it is ok to do so because he built it so therefore he owns it. If a woman builds a house and does the same to her spouse it is it not the same behaviour that men display. It has nothing to do with being inherently male or female. But has everything to do with anger in the moment. Though I don't condone throwing any spouse out of a house.

Not every woman is the same. Just because your friend is dealing with a woman who is lying to the police doesn't mean that all women do that. At the end of the day an investigation will be carried out. And the truth will prevail. If your friend is telling you the truth he will come out on top. The woman will pay the price for her despicable behaviour.

Your point that if you let people fund everything some can use it over you applies to both husband and wife. Whether it's house or car, food supplies, children's school fees. It's all the same. A marriage is more than a house.

AreaFada2:


Really? What would Canadian Police do if the woman claims threat to her life, maybe after she has hooked up with a new lover at work?

In Nigeria, men throw women out of a house built by the women? I have never seen that.

I have a friend currently kicked out. Here in the West too. Never mind no history of violence and no neighbour has ever heard even raised voices. Her many times married & divorced toy boys shagging mum has engineered it.

As for your view of building jointly, I already offered that view in my previous post.

But here is matter: majority of 9ja women want a man who already has everything. They are not ready to start building after marriage.
If you come into a marriage, working and keeping all your money or not even working at all while the man funds everything, you're likely to diminish your respect. Never mind men claiming they can take care of you.

If you let people fund everything, some can start using it (wrongly) to exert excessive control over you.

Simple fact.

The second part, it won't surprise me if many of the nurses were sponsored to Canada by their husbands and given residence documents also.

Such men might have ditched certificates and did various jobs to fund both themselves & relatives at home. Maybe even the lady while studying or sorting out documents. But yet ensured they assisted the wives into the professions. I guess that's the minimum such woman can do, but many still cannot manage earning more than hubby and eventually mess up.

DeKen:
I will just be uncomfortable with it.

In the society we live it's an abnormally. But if she did have before we got married and I don't have a house of my own we can live there (hoping that she is a very humble type) but the situation will put me on my toes and make me strive harder to build a better house for us to move into and rent out the other.

. Your idea is the reality of what actually happened in my life. We lived in my house built in town A where I was working, when I was transfered to town B we stayed in the house owned by my wife. I didn't see anything wrong in this since the two us believe that whatever we have belong to our children. While living in this house, I started another building project in town C and with amazing co-operation and support from wife the project was concluded. It's unfortunate that many have allowed tradition, sentiment and fear to hold them down. While I don't pray that satan should break up our marriage, if it happens where to lay my head is not a problem.

Thank you

Ghost447:
This is really nice, I accept your apology. I appreciate your maturity and humility. Keep it up.

Mindfulness:







Demand

Synonyms

ask, challenge, inquire, interrogate, question, request
call for, cry out for, entail, involve, necessitate, need, require, take, want
claim, exact, expect, insist on, order



So women are demanded / required to include their husbands' names by the so called culture and tradition but men can choose whether they include her or not?

Go back to school and read more about synonyms, a lot of them are subject to interpretation or context. If your brain tells you that demand means 'ask' and at the same time means 'require' then your brain should also be able to understand this is not an absolute correlation but a correlation within context or subject to interpretation. I understand where you are coming from, trying to bolster your argument by mixing apples with oranges but my guy save it for the less informed!

P.S: Just to make things clearer for you, in African societies there's no requirement preventing a single woman from sleeping around openly with no regrets but society will judge such a woman harshly and this deters most women from going such route. This way society demands morality for our women but the choice still remains with each woman to comply or rebel. The same society would easily forgive a man for such immoral acts even though the man and the woman broke the exact same rule. I hope you understand things better now!

Nixiepie:
wat is my prob with me huh? I contaminate my thread with my bitterness,I ignored myself the first time cos I don't want any e-brawls on my thread,so pls mind ur business or I report myself

like I said, go and find husband instead of poking your miserable nose in everyone else' matter.

Who are you blaming for your condition? Women who built their own houses? Why not blame your father who taught you to be an irritant to your fellow women (if indeed you are female?)

Report whatever you need to report sweetie,as long as you note the comment first!

Nixiepie:
Had this argument with my dad,and he said is a taboo for him to live in a house built by his wife,so I really want to find out why this decision of a woman to build a house is a crime against humanity............ Plz I need more opinions thanks

the day I live in a house built by WOMAN WILL BE the death of my manhood

There's nothing bad in it if the Wife is a truth born-again Christian. The most acceptable part is that, the man most be Richer than the woman so that they will have respect for each other.

tpiah01:



like I said, go and find husband instead of poking your miserable nose in everyone else' matter.

Who are you blaming for your condition? Women who built their own houses? Why not blame your father who taught you to be an irritant to your fellow women (if indeed you are female?)

Report whatever you need to report sweetie,as long as you note the comment first!

lolz,is very obvious you are the one looking for hubby here,if not,I see no reasons of you stressing it unnecessary, cos my thread didn't say I'm looking for one..now for the last time,go get a life and stop being a psychopathic dog that u are, looking for unnecessarily troubles everywhere. Keep on ranting like a rabies dog , cos that what u are good at, I won't bother to reply u , being the worthless and frustrated hungry biitchh that you are!bye

spill:
For me I don't see anything wrong living in a house built by your humble, respectful and well cultured wife.

But for the selfish wife without manners please don't live in a house built by her, because she will always frustrate your life with the "this house is my hard earned money", forgetting that wives are helpmates to their husbands.

absolutely, u ve said it all

Nixiepie:
lolz,is very obvious I am the one looking for hubby here,if not,I see no reasons of me stressing it unnecessary, cos my thread didn't say I'm not looking for one..now for the last time,I will go get a life and stop being a psychopathic dog that I am, looking for unnecessarily troubles everywhere. I will Keep on ranting like a rabies dog , cos that what I am good at, I won't bother to reply me , being the worthless and frustrated hungry biitchh that I am !bye

like I said, those who raised you should take the blame.

I dare you to try it and see yourself starting life as a bachelor - even if you had been married for two decades.

It never works, dude!!!

If all you can is just for one, then go get that one room and get her to live with you there.. Then start up...than living in her mansion.

You will hate your life.

abbey621:


Go back to school and read more about synonyms, a lot of them are subject to interpretation or context. If your brain tells you that demand means 'ask' and at the same time means 'require' then your brain should also be able to understand this is not an absolute correlation but a correlation within context or subject to interpretation. I understand where you are coming from, trying to bolster your my argument by mixing apples with oranges but my guy save it for the less informed!

P.S: Just to make things clearer for you, in African societies there's no requirement preventing a single woman from sleeping around openly with no regrets but society will judge such a woman harshly and this deters most women from going such route. This way society demands morality for our women but the choice still remains with each woman to comply or rebel. The same society would easily forgive a man for such immoral acts even though the man and the woman broke the exact same rule. I hope you understand things better now!