₦airaland Forum

Cool story

baba I day gbadun ur story jare
fire on!!!!!
don't stop. dont take it low

Ollyfad:
uhmmm....... frank comment bro....dis is one of d worst story presentation av had d misfortune of reading and i only took d pains to read tru bcus u gave me a mention and i will tell u y i said dat.
first, d work is totally not edited. u don't type widout editing ur typed work...no one does dat.
second, m avin a hard tym dcidin if its prose or drama.
third, ur use of d pidgin english does not even as much as portray a good grab of d language. bliv dat bcus i spend 90% of my talking tym speaking pidgin....in fact except m angry, i dont seem to be able to communicate in english.
at d beginning of ur work u gave d excuse of being a science student and to me dats no excuse. let me limit dis to nairaland....av read really great stories written by science students. bcus u av made ur passion for writing known by not jst taking d big step of putting pen to paper (sumtin av neva done) and going fuda to update regularly, i wuld give u dis piece of advise..... u cant b a writer if u are not a reader. u can only write after u must av read and even done sum research on wat u want to write and how u want to ryt. i wuld suggest sum authors wit peculiar rytin style on nairaland especially those dat ryt from d first person point of view. read authors lyk larrysun, princesa, kayemjay, frank317, repogirl, mazi omenuko and most especially, d author of african nerd....redmosquito. he also wrote in pidgin and english and he is a trained doctor in case u r wondering how he culd b so gud. u can also read flow stories too especially ibo boy wey like yoruba. it will really hlp u in improving ur writing skill i.e if u r serious abt writing. i hope ur next update will be beta constructed and articulate bcus i cwiuzly bliv ryt now, all u r doing is murdering wat suld av been a really great and adventurous story wit bad presentation.
N.B: i hope u will take dis criticism as fair enof and improve on ur writing skill for ur own gud, ur story's gud and d gud of ur audience. especially if u want literature lovers and not story by d moonlight lovers to take u cwiuzly. keep up d courage bro.....every wole soyinka or chinua achebe have a beginning story to tell

considering how you yourself lack the proper grammar structure you criticise someone else for not having, your criticism is void and baseless!

"cwiuzly", you are a joker your damn self.

[quote author=pinkycute Am here too.... Thanks


Hmmmmm I can see that

Sugarhugs:
You are too slim like you don't eat at all!

God ladies and their palava sha.

mainland its 11 mins to 9. 11 mins!

yomi007k:
Babe forget abt anybody talking trash.
Ur hot n they're not.
E easy to be called Oyin(Honey)? Lol

thanks

greatbrian:
Don't mind him u r so amazing just the way u r. U r a perfect emblem of beauty. Please keep the stature up. And remember do anything that rock ur boat...... Be good

thank u

I know say that's what missmossy enjoys most

Missmossy:
Interesting,keep it coming

No more updated?

Here it comes....Enjoy

:-! still typing

guy continue

Good story mainland.

Good

If I no comment make thunder baley me.
Nice Write Up bro.

continue man

9 don nack since o Mainland.

no yahoo boy go chat fr saloon
no yahoo boy go give stranger phone 2 elp im tlk 2 client I hail f lies ooo BT enjoying d story sha

Oya nao..... Can't wait again oo

Hurray. The story has made front page

You don dey dull ur readers now o.....

TzIphekitan:
I take over

Story continues.....


Part. 9

That particular parol bro ola assigned to me was an easy task, I finished it overnight and the client paid him off the next day.

Of all the different types of yahoo scams that existed I still prefered "dating"
I don’t fancy the ones involving buying and selling scams, maybe because I don’t have that OT at that moment.

Bro A.y do call me from time to time and i do help him with his editing stuff, until I failed to start turning up for hia calls, because I was starting to make little changes myself. Since bro ola never come back for his system.

I visited bro A.y on day, and revealed what have been doing to him so I can learn more from him, now that have had and idea about the whole thing. When I told him he said, " you should have told me earlier you too Don ja, no wonder you no dey show up anytime I call you again, smart guy, leme sha show you one or two things that might help".

He gave me different dating formats, tho I was already creating format then myself. But he was the one whole introduced me to the military format. He also taught he how to fake skype call.

I learned many things from that bro but yet am not making cumbersum doe. So I was like Maybe because I don't have my system yet. I just gathered the changes with me and bought one fairly used system, but. Still no much money turning up. I have no friends then. Because I do my things codedly in my area.

I would sometimes have sleepless night due to over night chatting with the help of nescafe. Chai when I was writing my waec a year ago self I wasn't as serious as this when6it comes to night reading.

Things took a new turn when I met this guy called bosun. It was one a friday evening like that, I just say make I ge small for paramount club. As i entered the club, I didn't greet anyone u just went straight to the Bar man and ordered for the winners drink #trophy.

It was obvious with my facial expression I was having problems. I was on my 7th bottle when someone tapped me. Me Wey my eyes don leri, I didn't respond. Then I felt a second tap on my shoulder, and looked at the person and it was a lady, I just hissed, "abeg leme, I no get money to carry olosho tonight"
She con talk say "elo bobo, mister Ben dey call you". I still didn't respond. As she was leaving me I decided to take a look at her behind, then I saw her walking towards a guy amidst four girls on a Vip sit.



To be continued

wey chapter 8

Nice one bro, following.

Sugarhugs:
Try to add up weight for your own sake, you don't look good at all.

sharap..do u know d manner at which u presented this to her is wrong? I know of someone who hung himself just because a friend said this to her..God created her and u shd respect her. I pray u don't get sick and look far more worse than she is..

Sugarhugs:
You are too slim like you don't eat at all!

Lol

Poster be mugu ur mate de collect alibaba hackin. Mega millions u dehere de write. Nollywood. Story u r not ayahoo guy oku r a. nollywood director

Following

Owk... following..

poweredcom:
Poster be mugu ur mate de collect alibaba hackin. Mega millions u dehere de write. Nollywood. Story u r not ayahoo guy oku r a. nollywood director

Oya commit now tchew

Following

oya na mainland abeg kontunu the matter na u don keep me busy since