₦airaland Forum

nathdim: money ritual ko money ritual ni why can't one of these babalawos perform d magic and post it on YouTube as 4 me seeing is believing

Some people just talk without thinking. We are Africans. And we have been leaving with black power before oyinbo carry Bible come give story which we begin to believe. What if tomorrow oynbo tell us say na them write all d story about wetin dey inside Bible wetin we go do.

If u won test babaalawo power whether it existor not meet one of them to inflect small madness (were) on u. That u go no say devil dey give .Moni.

Your name must be Paul...O.

ooman: Of course am Yoruba.

sorry but I do not see how someone will be right without being good first.

Bunch of lazy people. How can a p.enis use for peeing or b.reast for nursing babies change into money?
backward mentality as ever, pity pity.
Your American brothers are into special kind of money ritual (tax evasion). when the juju wanes, IRS the god of thunder comes after them.

Xpset: Some people just talk without thinking. We are Africans. And we have been leaving with black power before oyinbo carry Bible come give story which we begin to believe. What if tomorrow oynbo tell us say na them write all d story about wetin dey inside Bible wetin we go do.

If u won test babaalawo power whether it existor not meet one of them to inflect small madness (were) on u. That u go no say devil dey give .Moni.

simple explanation of the madness caused by your babalawo: they have access to barks/plants etc they know the use of opium in powder form or otherwise. they know the amount to give to that sane man to make him insane or kill him.
Wake up and free your mind.

The ancient war between the edos and the oyinbos for instance. The juju men fought with juju in small calabash, blowing opium powder and other harvested, sundried and packaged concotions on her majesty soldiers, the white ones fought with guns and bullets. Read your history books again

@Xpet
it's best you say nothing rather than unknowingly portraying Babalawo and Onisegun as ONLY capable of evil things.

You said:

Xpset: We are Africans. And we have been leaving with black power before oyinbo carry Bible come give story which we begin to believe.

By "black power" I suppose you meant malevolent powers, if so then But yet so many foreign religion practising Nigerians that have been brainwashed and condition will and still continue to regard anything ancestrally theirs as nothing but EVIL because its black, and because their brainwashed programmed head would automatically process the mere hearing of a juju like 'aluwo' as something that can only come from a semitic fictional character called Satan the Devil, whereas Aluwo is but naturally made juju to effect a supernatual result, meant for offensive/defensive purpose, rendering whoever is slightly hit with it, to instantly fall and remain weak for some while though conscious, just to secure your escape from an attacker. If juju like Aluwo is a black power like you think, then please do tell me what kind of colour is the power created by a mind that conceives atomic bombs, nuclear warhead the size of your arm, borris, pellets, dum dum bullets, land mines, napalms, nerve agents, mortars, cannons, battleships, gunships, euthenizers, and the popular AK-47s that kill instantly, I am sure the colour isn't BLACK. You all need to wake up.

Armyofone, I'm coming for you later...

The OP's post has generated quite a number of commentaries.
I don't know how others see it, but for me it's just be one of the many things I have always laid my thought on. Just to get things straight, I am a skeptic. I am quite an atheist.
Nevertheless, I feel there's something, however unreal, however mythical; there is something to be explored about traditional Nigerian fetish practices, including but not limited to money rituals.
As a result, I'm looking to start a project, perhaps a documentary or a book, that will involve asking many questions of those with deep knowledge about these practices. We owe the world this knowledge, if indeed these things are for real. In the case where they are mere balderdash, we still owe ourselves an explanation.
To this end, I'd appreciate it if anyone willing to talk can share details here, and be prepared as well for a visit from me on additional info about what they have shared.

sauer: The OP's post has generated quite a number of commentaries.
I don't know how others see it, but for me it's just be one of the many things I have always laid my thought on. Just to get things straight, I am a skeptic. I am quite an atheist.
Nevertheless, I feel there's something, however unreal, however mythical; there is something to be explored about traditional Nigerian fetish practices, including but not limited to money rituals.
As a result, I'm looking to start a project, perhaps a documentary or a book, that will involve asking many questions of those with deep knowledge about these practices. We owe the world this knowledge, if indeed these things are for real. In the case where they are mere balderdash, we still owe ourselves an explanation.
To this end, I'd appreciate it if anyone willing to talk can share details here, and be prepared as well for a visit from me on additional info about what they have shared.

I am already on such project, but it would be nice if you commence too, it may be compared and contrasted which will still help a lot understand these things they've been fed to see as boogeyman.

What will you call your project? Project Unearthing The Mystery?

ghostofsparta: I am already on such project, but it would be nice if you commence too, it may be compared and contrasted which will still help a lot understand these things they've been fed to see as boogeyman.

What will you call your project? Project Unearthing The Mystery?

It's great to hear someone is already on such project. I didn't think you would be interested in setting out asking questions, as opposed to answering the same questions.
I'm thinking it's gonna be more of a documentary. I have a friend who is willing to introduce me to some guys claim to wield OPC powers. Am thinking that may be a good start.
If you don't mind, I certainly would love to follow your project as well.

sauer: It's great to hear someone is already on such project. I didn't think you would be interested in setting out asking questions, as opposed to answering the same questions.

I am not interested in interviewing people, because most Nigerians do not understand the intricacies of this subject as it pertain to their traditions much less of describing them properly without needing to ascribe any component to Abrahamic concept, you would be surprised to hear what some would say by associating foreign concept to their ancestral believe systems. Statement like: "Yes I believe there is magic, it is from the devil, but when Jesus came to save us...bla, bla, bla. What I am doing is an academical, textual documentary style where I seek to enlighten and clarify lots of misconception and confusion based on profound research and deep-rooted findings. For instance, many thinks Sango is God of Thunder, and Ogun of Iron, whereas they aren't. It's an wrong description of those Yoruba deities (irunmole), those are the sort of Nigerians you will like to interview about their ancestral belief systems they know nothing other than what the churches have depicted them to be, If you really want to do your stuff, you visit real and genuine Babalawos and Onisegun, along with someone like me who can properly interpret and ask relevant question.

sauer: I'm thinking it's gonna be more of a documentary. I have a friend who is willing to introduce me to some guys claim to wield OPC powers. Am thinking that may be a good start.

It's a cheap and easy way to start I tell you, there are many Yoruba and non-Yoruba thugs, touts, uni-students, area boys, alagbaras, etc that have various types of these offensive juju powers, you will be lucky if you find one that is ready to show you, but I am sure none may be able to explain the technicalities of how these things work or why they exists, or for what purpose were they created, and things like that, which is what I will set out to do in my: WHY I AM NOT YET AN ATHEIST: ENTER YAS, research/write-up/book project

sauer: If you don't mind, I certainly would love to follow your project as well.

Follow as in be a part of, in terms of contributing or do you mean read when completed?

Please how can one reach you on how to meet the real priest to tell one the truth and how to know his destiny if he will be rich or not ansd steps one will follow to become rich without shed of blood or ritual

glen87: Please how can one reach you on how to meet the real priest to tell one the truth and how to know his destiny if he will be rich or not ansd steps one will follow to become rich without shed of blood or ritual

I don't want to be reached on how to meet any priest, I can only be reached for academic/intellectual discussion and advise relating to ancestral believe system. Secondly, it's wrong to focus on how to get rich or be worried about how to acquire wealth. According to Ifa teachings, it isn't everyone that is meant to be rich or stupendous. The irunmooles/orisha made humans on behalf of Olodumare who bestowed us each with optimum need, reach and limits in life.

Here is parody on blood money ritual, which still doesn’t imply never yield or exists, as a matter of the fact, a lot of youths are being lured into as a shortcut of getting rich quick, it’s one of the evil aspect of our ancestral believe system resurged by the pandemic state of penury that afflicts lots of Nigerian/Yoruba youths, no matter what, not only should it be condemned by all well-meaning traditionalists and traditional activists, non-consequential alternatives which exists should be offered by Babalawos and Oniseguns to clients who come seeking for ‘ogun-owo’, but unfortunately, as it look like, many self-compromised Babalawos and Oniseguns who knows of this art, seems to be sadistic as portrayed in duration 7:56 and 9:33 of this funny video.

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@Ogbeche77 PLS BRO Do you know of any effective Soap or product to boost/charge Ori in a person?

The Oshole which is in the form of Ose(Soap) used by that Man you mentioned which the wife later began using.. Does it have any consequences. Is it recommendable? What is the name of that of Oshole called?

Thanks so much for your time and effort. From all your thread post I can tell that you are a genius. I do appreciate and hope to get answers from you shortly.
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ghostofsparta: And why do you still deliberately ascribe Babalawos as the sole doer of Money Ritual when I have clarified that particular widespread assumption you seem unable to eradicate from your Nollywood brainwashed mindset? I even went as far as to carefully explain who Babalawos are, supposedly should be, differentiating them from the Oniseguns who are the main indulgers of this heinous act and yet decided to misuse the Yoruba term 'Babalawo' because you just like many think it is cool to spoil their name as the Nigerian churches are always fond of, the same churches attended by some people who have used isegun to acquire wealth, success, power, positions, etc only to hypocritically give credit to the semitic deities of the Abrahamic religions and appreciations in the siphoning form of tithes and offerings. Well done.

Another fact you need to know is that so called educated Yorubas and non-Yorubas who patronizes both the Babalawos and Oniseguns for various purposes do not know the differences between the two and care less in knowing. Also, Afas in Yorubaland are the equivalent of the Christian pastors and in certain respect Islamic spiritualists, however, and as a matter of the fact, there are many Oniseguns that some Yoruba people just call 'Afa' because they borrow certain Yoruba esoteric knowledge to be combined with Islamic mysticism (dud) in order to appeal to patronizing Yoruba muslim clients, the point is many of this Afas are the major driving force of Money Ritual in Yorubaland.


Yes, there are Oguns (magic powers) that can be used to win contract or anything pertaining to negotiations, which is different from Money Rituals. There are Yawu boys and some deceptionists who use them too, but there's bound to be grave repercussion on the side of the users for whatever has been forced to yield must eventually equilibriumate. That is one of the laws of supernatural magic (which is different from trick/stage magic invented and practised mostly by whites for the purpose of amusement and entertainments)

Would you believe such ridiculous claim? Well you could if you were offered by 419ers posed as Babalawos or Oniseguns with the aid of those types of Juju I classified under the Mayehuns. Despite the overwhelming powers of the jujus belonging to this class, they can be overcome depending on the strength at which your mind draws on reason and logic.


Despite your exaggeration, there are Juju such as the Aworos and the likes used to pull crowd, congregation, customers. They have their conditions and repercussions.


There's no damn head in any cupboard that vomits cash, is there no end to your Nollywood stylised thinking?

I know this may sound gross and grotesque but for the purpose of enlightenment those confused people on the other thread, what the severed head is used for depends on the type of Oshole involved., the human head is but one of other components needed for the preparation of the evil procedure. If you ask me to go into the methodological 'into-to' of how the money ritual is done, I'm sorry I do not know because I haven't done it before, will never indulge in it, and I'm certain my anti-scientific curiosity will never lead me there but I have this to say: If any white or African-American disbeliever happen to read all this and still doubts, I urge him/her to appeal to any of their several communities/society of debunkers, myth-busters, skeptics, atheists, rationalists, psycho-analysts, scientists and anti-paranormalist, to ask their government to grant a huge amount of money to the family of a convicted death-row prisoner awaiting execution in exchange for consenting to volunteer himself/herself for the verification of this money ritual thing in Yorubaland, after all their government invest heavily on science/tech research and development unlike ours who have endorsed corruption by perfecting the art of embezzling and laundering public funds and states money.

You also asked me to address where the money will come from. Where do you think the money will come from? Thin air? Forex? The mountain? The ethers? Ofcourse it's from the bank and wherever, whatever symbolises 'Owo' is manufactured or made massively. There are big and small companies that make hell of money, there are financial institutions including banks, insurance companies and even the central bank whose officials would be scratching their head over how certain huge amount of money can't be accounted for during their annual review or whatever it's termed.

It is 'Owo' the Oniseguns would command through the use of incantation specific to the particular Oshole in progress, some Oshole isn't about commanding Owo itself but of manipulating extreme forces yet unknown to science though collectively personified as 'awon emi ayiri' which means unseen entities, whose respective Yoruba names are known to the Onisegun practitioners who at specific time invokes/summons the entity associated with the Oshole involved through the chanting of powerful incantations specific to the Oshole in progress in order to be either commanded, tricked, blackmailed or manipulated to always go and search and deliver physical money wherever it is on behalf of the client when called upon (where the client would be taught the lock and unlocking code through recitation i.e. the few incantations to utter in order to operate it wherever it is kept in the house when in need of Owo (money)). There is another evil version belonging to the major ones where the name of the human used is somehow metaphysically impressed into the ritual procession wherein all the client need do at home whenever in need of money (Owo) is to visit the ritualised human juju at a given time and commands that name with learned incantation to fetch him/her physical money wherever it is. The two highlighted are not how all major Osholes are effectuated as there are various types of both minor and major Osholes with their respective configurations, rites and ofcourse deadly repercussions.

There are some minor Oshole types known by its Oniseguns where the ritual money seeker would be provided with the option of using a part of their physical body (thumbs, toes, strip of flesh) for the money ritual wherein the further it decomposes the higher their shot at acquiring money (some Yawu boys do these types), there is another minor one wherein animals such as tortoise and special but rare to find birds are used in the money ritual process, there are other minor types wherein powerful rings are specially prepared whose sole purpose is to render enchantment over a to-be-victim of any of the numerous online scam (some Yawu boys use this on their magas) the endgame is still to make money, which can be argued also as money ritual, there's another in which I don't know if I should consider it minor or major since it involves the ritual money seeking male to offer his 'fertility essence' in the form of semen in exchange for tremendous but time-limited wealth, there's another I also don't know where to classify it but which involves certain thing I haven't found out but with the condition that the ritual money seeker must spend completely all the money the entity fetches him that particular day otherwise he/she is done for, there are two variant of that particular type with an almost similar condition which is of not coming back home with any remainder of the money belonging to that which the entity brought forth, the other being unable to spend the money on people you know such as friends, family and relatives, there is another belonging to the major types renderable by those Oniseguns who knows about it, wherein the money ritual seeker would be checked, and if qualified by the required pre-condition, will be told he/she can't be rich since he/she isn't destined to be opulent unless they have someone he/she loves the most, (which he/she actually does have, being that the ori they choose from ajule-orun is to meet/be with their earth love partner) which has to be substituted for 'Owo'.



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@Ogbeche77 PLS BRO Do you know of any effective Soap or product to boost/charge Ori in a person?

The Oshole which is in the form of Ose(Soap) used by that Man you mentioned which the wife later began using.. Does it have

any consequences. Is it recommendable? What is the name of that of Oshole called?

Thanks so much for your time and effort. From all your thread post I can tell that you are a genius. I do appreciate and hope

to get answers from you shortly.

OLUWABOI.
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The underlying principle about Ogun Owo is the Ori, there was this married Ijebu man who had serious financial issues and eventually opted for MR, whether it was a minor or major type I wouldn't know but what happened was that the Oshole involved was in the form of an Ose (Yoruba word for soap) given to him by one of the many trial-and-error money rituals Oniseguns to be used whenever he wants to take his bath and instead of working for good became more impoverished, he stopped using it, his wife who wasn't aware about the sopa or what her husband had done began to use it, and since then on, different customers after buying provisions from her started giving her money without her asking, at times for no obvious reason, up to an extent some would just drive by and just dash her huge amounts of money after buying petty items from her, her husband noticed this and enquired from her only to discover that she's being using that soap, they both clung tighter to each other and became very rich. The point is about the 'Ori', some people's 'Eleda' didn't chose or include stupendous 'Owo' into their 'Ori' when coming from 'Ajule-Orun' to 'Aye', but while the 'Ori' of 95% of humans were optimally chosen for by various presiding eledas (Orishas and Irunmoles), most will unknowingly involve themselves in various Ewos (taboos) that delays their Eleda-given/Ori-chosen destinies including some of the remaining 5% who have chosen or preordained to be stupendously rich which is the case of that real life event about that husband whose destiny doesn't include being rich in his Ori make-up but whose wife it does and according to Ifa, there are some people whose Odu decodes that he/she is bound to excel or become rich only when the right life-partner is met, and to do this, provided the Ori hasn't being too damaged, one just need to 'Bo Ori' hence Ori laa ba bọ ka fi iwakuwa silẹ (We should instead charge our Ori rather than searching for shortcuts).

All in all, Ogun-owo aka money ritual is B arbaric A bysmal D estructive. Why? There was this fairly old man whom I pressed to disagree way back, that people who does money ritual are fools because I thought it was a ruse and he told me that he personally had an Ewọn (long chain) that whenever he wants needs money, all he needed to do early in the morning is to drag his Ewọn (juju) around the open compound before anyone wakes up, and that before that day is over, he must realise lots of money somehow, I was still very skeptical about his claim until when I asked how could that be possible and he revealed that he must have money due to the power of the juju chain but at the expense of his surrounding neighbors remaining seriously broke for some period, then I quickly remembered my pal who live close to that place who always complain to me about why he is unable to account for how he spent his salary and that he wasn't supposed to be penniless.

It's just pure evil and it does not worth it. Some do lure their friends into committing some of the minor Osholes, bearing in mind the consequence but will nevertheless do it because of so many reasons I consider unjustifiable, well it's true that 'Money is the root of all evil'. Another important thing to understand is that because a lot of people are not patient in this festering nation, especially most of us youths who want to live luxurious lifestyle, drive exotic cars, live in a mansion, or in short just want to satisfy a desire to spend, spend and spend money in clubs, at ladies, showing-off by lavishing, these are mostly the kinds who ends up at this short-cut avenue, without knowing whether if their 'ori' and 'eleda' carries such destiny, which in no time they agree to murder in the name of money ritual, driven by their uncontrolled lust for money such that they deprive other's from fulfilling their 'ori' destiny, enjoying life at the expense of others misery whose husband, sons, daughters, wife are reported missing or found mutilated thinking they they ought not to be a consequence.

What other questions do you have, and I hope they aren't Nollywood inspired?

[quote author=Doff_Man]Absolute rubbish!!

I'm incandescent with rage over this drivel that you are feeding gullible Nigerians. SMH[/quote][quote author=Doff_Man]Absolute rubbish!!

I'm incandescent with rage over this drivel that you are feeding gullible Nigerians. SMH[/quote][quote author=Doff_Man]Absolute rubbish!!

I'm incandescent with rage over this drivel that you are feeding gullible Nigerians. SMH[/quote][quote author=Doff_Man]Absolute rubbish!!

I'm incandescent with rage over this drivel that you are feeding gullible Nigerians. SMH[/quote]

@Ghostsparta
Thanks for taking your time to enlighten pple like myself.pls permit me to put these questions to u here(unrelated to topic) after reading most of your writings on NL.
1.Is there any relationship between 'awon-iya-onshoronga' (eleye/aje) and Orunmila? Cos I ve always think that they'eleye/aje' are d ones behind it.
2.Is it normal for babalawo to prescribe/suggest or recommend orunmila as a solution(to deliver/protect)to some spiritual problems?
3.Is being a child/ worshiper of orunmila a choice or destiny?e.g during ifa consultation, Babalawo asking his client who knew nothing abt Orunmila,where is his Orunmila/ifa(I mean the visible items seen on the altar or shrine)
4.What is ifa and Orunmila, Any difference?
5.Can Ifa be consult on phone or is just a scam?
Pls Note: terms used are based on my little knowledge abt this things. preferred mailing pls let me know

emotional: @Ghostsparta
Thanks for taking your time to enlighten pple like myself.pls permit me to put these questions to u here(unrelated to topic) after reading most of your writings on NL.
1.Is there any relationship between 'awon-iya-onshoronga' (eleye/aje) and Orunmila? Cos I ve always think that they'eleye/aje' are d ones behind it.
2.Is it normal for babalawo to prescribe/suggest or recommend orunmila as a solution(to deliver/protect)to some spiritual problems?
3.Is being a child/ worshiper of orunmila a choice or destiny?e.g during ifa consultation, Babalawo asking his client who knew nothing abt Orunmila,where is his Orunmila/ifa(I mean the visible items seen on the altar or shrine)
4.What is ifa and Orunmila, Any difference?
5.Can Ifa be consult on phone or is just a scam?
Pls Note: terms used are based on my little knowledge abt this things. preferred mailing pls let me know

You will get your answers in a book I'm still writing. I explained IFA and ORUNMILLA there. If it scam or not. Analyses and difference of Aje/Eleye and what the whites considers as witchcrafts and so many more.

ok, thanks.

emotional: @Ghostsparta
Thanks for taking your time to enlighten pple like myself.pls permit me to put these questions to u here(unrelated to topic) after reading most of your writings on NL.
1.Is there any relationship between 'awon-iya-onshoronga' (eleye/aje) and Orunmila? Cos I ve always think that they'eleye/aje' are d ones behind it.
2.Is it normal for babalawo to prescribe/suggest or recommend orunmila as a solution(to deliver/protect)to some spiritual problems?
3.Is being a child/ worshiper of orunmila a choice or destiny?e.g during ifa consultation, Babalawo asking his client who knew nothing abt Orunmila,where is his Orunmila/ifa(I mean the visible items seen on the altar or shrine)
4.What is ifa and Orunmila, Any difference?
5.Can Ifa be consult on phone or is just a scam?
Pls Note: terms used are based on my little knowledge abt this things. preferred mailing pls let me know

1. I don't know much about Eleye/Aje but their roles are not about Money, They are simply old wise women who have broken the veil between Spiritual and Physical. So anything is possible with them. Orunmila is the omniscient force of wisdom and knowledge much of An Aje's work can be credited to Orunmila and also Esu.
Note: Aje are not evil, neither are they blood suckers. They are advocates of balance

2. Orunmila knows the solution to all problems. That is why people go to his priests in the first place, they recommend solution to the problems u have, sometimes giving directives to connect with other Orisha who are key to such solution

3. Both. But even at choice Ori is always involved

4. The Names are used interchangeably, but Ifa is like Orunmila's scriptures.

5. Ifa can only be consulted by a trained Babalawo using Opele and Opon. It's a system non-initiates like u and I can never understand

One of the best threads I have come across so far.. I hope this made front page.. This is someone that sees the norm of the society and is bringing understanding to it.. Will follow topic and add my comments and questions later on.. Thumbs up to the op..

macof: Imagine how people like u are making money you can't go and work?
Winning election Love, respect Disgusting

winning of election ke? i'm in tears

Ryabcool: winning of election ke? i'm in tears

Wow!!!
Be careful oooo!! His power is from the bitchastic temple in the plains of gobi desert .. So he is. A grandmaster in his job!
@ Jimbabright pls by 2015 I want my face on PDP slot instead of goodluck.. Am sure this feat is nothing!

pls ghostofsparta,can you explain little about yoruba concept of possessed children(emere).This type of kids have always fascinate me,i want to learn more bout them(pls don't mind my going off topic)

why all the hidden posts?

oweniwe:
why all the hidden posts?

I wonder, just seeing them now.

maninmood:
Billyonaire, good write-up there. You sound very well an educated person; it is quite intriguing why other so-called enlightened graduates still indulge in this fallacy. Quite a number of people are so narrow-minded that they fail to accept the fact that physical realm does not go correspondingly with the contrary. To the naive, be continuously spoon-fed lies and keep living in completeness of idiocy.

Dont let anyone deceive you. Am not a dullard and am not uneducated. As a small boy back in my mother's hometown, I have seen her uncle consult a carved wood ere or sigidi (so called in Yoruba language), about a meter tall, being consulted and spoke back before my very eyes. It was asked questions and it responded like a human being with lips moving and all in a thin voice almost like a whisper. My dear, believe or not, there are powers and there are spiritual forces that can be discerned and even manipulated by the spiritually minded persons.
I thank God we have the I AM THAT I AM, the immortality that dwells in the light.

Xpset:
Some people just talk without thinking. We are Africans. And we have been leaving with black power before oyinbo carry Bible come give story which we begin to believe. What if tomorrow oynbo tell us say na them write all d story about wetin dey inside Bible wetin we go do.

If u won test babaalawo power whether it existor not meet one of them to inflect small madness (were) on u. That u go no say devil dey give .Moni.

I laugh at the bold, it is ignorant that makes many Africans suffer,
are you aware there are herbs that can kill or make someone insane ?
This has nothing to do with power, but knowledge of the secret plants,
anyone who can identify such plants can use them for any purpose.
Don't be fooled, human head can neither give you Naira nor dollar.

jaymichael:
Dont let anyone deceive you. Am not a dullard and am not uneducated. As a small boy back in my mother's hometown, I have seen her uncle consult a carved wood ere or sigidi (so called in Yoruba language), about a meter tall, being consulted and spoke back before my very eyes. It was asked questions and it responded like a human being with lips moving and all in a thin voice almost like a whisper. My dear, believe or not, there are powers and there are spiritual forces that can be discerned and even manipulated by the spiritually minded persons.
I thank God we have the I AM THAT I AM, the immortality that dwells in the light.

You were fooled, there is a hidden tape playing in the background.