Jobia:
lol.

Lazy uncle is that you?

Exactly what I wanted to ask before, but I restrained myself

see them... see them... Karashika women everywhere...

SamMilla1:
You are probably an evil woman.
Take that from me.
All those bunch of lies you told against this girl just to paint her black, would you say the same things if she was your sister?

I can easily tell that you are angry because she came from the husbands side. It's common with all evil women.

Change your ways when you still can, otherwise you will pour hot water or acid on her someday and end up in Prison.

She broke plasma, broke Toilet WC, really? That hard thing? How did she do that? With a sledgehammer or what?
What else did she do?
She broke her shoes, tore her school uniform.
Bed-wets, fights, never do anything such as assignment?

Why don't you just tell us you want her gone so you can bring your own sister?
I am way too intelligent to believe all the rubbish you said about this innocent girl.
Even Lucipher will find it very difficult to win a destruction contest with this 11 year old girl.

On top of that, her father comes for monthly salary in your place, of course with other incentives such as groceries etc.
Where is the mother in all this?
Do you really expect me to believe you?
No mention of one good thing from the girl, not even to fetch water or cook anything?


Your heart is black because I don't see why you were hesistant when your husband wanted to bring her. Do you know their family history?
Who trained your husband? What exactly are you bringing to the table?


You first of all painted the father of the girl with black paints as if you know anything about him.
Evil thing.

And all you people shouting send her home, do you really think this evil thing is telling you all the story?
Do you not believe that if this is a law court, the girl will have her chance to say her own version.
She never wanted her in the first place and she admitted it up there. She just wanted her own relatives to fill the house. It's common with evil women.

wanted to say this ... thanks for saying my mind ...

[quote author=Nyceguy92 post=46825444][/quote]She can help stop her bedwetting by making sure she does not take any water after having dinner. Wake her up every hour to go and ease herself, put mackintosh on her bed incase she wets again. Wake her up to clean up. Maybe,she will change in no time. Op do it for the young lady. Just mellow down and help her become a better person.

palsenator:
The truth is that you don't like the girl and the family at large because you felt you are doing well . Your language said it all but don't forget karma.

dis woman can lie....that the gal father dont leave unless you give him groceries ....i smell hatred in her writing..nna ehh i dyvex

I wanted to comment but I'm not commenting again

When will many Nigerians start thinking for and by themselves?

AfroKnight:
With the kind of potential wives we have nowadays, I don't think I could ever let a relative live in my house. Better to avoid the drama.

Send the girl back home.

u r weak then

The girl papa bible no get 1 Timothy 5:8.? The girl no be member of him house hold?

megastu:
Madam, please send that girl back. You want your husband to die young. That girl's father will live very long. He doesnt care about anything in the world. Wheras all the wahala is for u and your husband. Better be advised.

so her husband will die because of groceries they gv once in a blue moon.......

megastu:
Madam, please send that girl back. You want your husband to die young. That girl's father will live very long. He doesnt care about anything in the world. Wheras all the wahala is for u and your husband. Better be advised.

so her husband will die because of groceries they gv once in a blue moon......

GoodBoi1:
I don't see anything special here. She is a kid. What do you expect? Do you even have children? 'Cos if you do you would understand that it is NORMAL. What kind of childhood did you have? I'm not against correction though.

ask d fool wenvdhe stopped bedettn

GoodBoi1:
I don't see anything special here. She is a kid. What do you expect? Do you even have children? 'Cos if you do you would understand that it is NORMAL. What kind of childhood did you have? I'm not against correction though.

ask d fool wen she stopped bedettn

Its always good to be good but not at the expense of your own goodies lol.

In other news, do you need a natural permanent hair removal solution? Have you heard about thanaka powder and kusumba oil? Google and read more about both of them and send an email to kinibd@yahoo.com if interested in purchasing. Thanks.

GoodBoi1:
I don't see anything special here. She is a kid. What do you expect? Do you even have children? 'Cos if you do you would understand that it is NORMAL. What kind of childhood did you have? I'm not against correction though.

ask d fool wen she stopped bedwettn

:-Xl[quote author=MarryMeee post=46778066][/quote]

First of all let me commend you for the work you've done so far. It's not easy taking care of a little one especially when the person is not not your direct blood.

Exercise patience and help the girl. She needs your love more than ever before. Sometimes turn a blind eye on the things little ones do.

Let me paint a scenario for you that you can readily relate to.

Humans invent weapons of mass destruction time without numbers yet God gives them a chance to repent and turn to Him.

The pilots that dropped the atomic bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima are still alive (from my last check).

Why all this epistle? Give her a chance just like God gives us a chance to change from our wrong doings. You never know what the future will bring. May God give you the grace to train her up.

Ciao.

All those harping "if it was your child" should, most respectfully, put a sock in it!!

Fact is, she is not OPs child.

Were she an orphan, then its probably different. But her parents are still alive!!

I have extremely low tolerance for irresponsible parents whose only job is to bleep and bleep, without protection, and bring unneeded children into the world.

That I only have two children is not because I dont like to bleep my wife raw. I'm fully aware there are consequences to such action.

Abeg OP, do the needful and send the child back.

dfrost:
:-Xl

First of all let me commend you for the work you've done so far. It's not easy taking care of a little one especially when the person is not not your direct blood.

Exercise patience and help the girl. She needs your love more than ever before. Sometimes turn a blind eye on the things little ones do.

Let me paint a scenario for you that you can readily relate to.

Humans invent weapons of mass destruction time without numbers yet God gives them a chance to repent and turn to Him.

The pilots that dropped the atomic bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima are still alive (from my last check).

Why all this epistle? Give her a chance just like God gives us a chance to change from our wrong doings. You never know what the future will bring. May God give you the grace to train her up.

Ciao.

may God answer ur call ....3hr

sweetilicious:
Maybe,she will change in no time. Op do it for the young lady. Just mellow down and help her become a better person.

God bless you for this post. Wish I could give you a hug and a glass of chilled smoothie for this comment.

OP just help her please. A lot of people especially young ones need love and attention nowadays. Don't worry about her folks attitude and don't be sentimental about raising her.

Just pray to God for the needed strength unless you never wanted our advice in the first place.

Ciao.

MarryMeee:
I have been with my husband for a while now and I can say we have been doing well for ourselves. But i have a problem with some relatives that are turning us into their atm machine. My husband has an uncle who has always had other people taking care of his children (5children from 3 different women) for him whilst he goes out to enjoy himself without a care in the world.

Last year my in laws asked us to take in one of his daughters so she could go to school in the city. I was hesitant at first since i did not know much about her or the father, but eventually I warmed up to the idea. Fast forward 6months later, I am sick and tired of it. She does not do her homework without being forced and sometimes she skips school. I have already been called 3times by her teacher making complaints about her attitude in class and her perfomance. If you do not dig for her homework from her bag she will not do it. This girl is already 11 and she is only in grade 4 and she bed-wets.

I do not usually resort to beating a child because I have told myself that should be the last resort, but at the same time I am tired of buying things for her because she is always destroying them. She will wear her best clothes to go play with mud outside and she has turned her school shoes in slippers. She is always losing her stationery and she has torn 2 of her school uniforms already. She once broke the toilet and we had to get a new (not toilet seat, i mean the actual damn toilet) and she broke the plasma in the living room barely 5months after we got it.

As if she is not a big enough headache, her father always finds himself in my house almost every month and he will not leave until you compensate him for coming to your house uninvited. Of course he will expect you to give him money and groceries to take home.

Everything has been frustrating my husband as well and he is considering taking the girl back to her father's house as soon as schools closes and to be honest i really do not have a problem with that, but my issue is that his family is against the idea because its not a christian thing to do (1Timothy 5v8)

To those who have been in the same situation, how did you resolve it amicably and where did you draw the line?

It is too simple. You need to set boundaries and have a plan for corrective action. I think you have given up because she is not your daughter. Ask yourself, if she were your daughter how would you handle the girl? Every infraction must be met with some sort of punishment and the punishment must fit the crime. E.g beating her for not maintaining her shoes does not solve the problem. Just keep patching the shoes until her feet starts protruding from the shoes and let her understand that the reason you are not going to buy a new one for her is because she does not know how to maintain one. Problem solving is a skill that needs to be learnt for parenting. Also, because she is not your daughter, you need to be careful. Document her infractions as proof so that one day when she cries and says you have been maltreating her, you have something to fall back on. Only mentally lazy people result to beating. Don't be one of them. As for the uncle, you husband needs to man up and draw the line too.

Valprof:
may God answer ur call ....3hr

Thanks brotherly

MarryMeee:
I have been with my husband for a while now and I can say we have been doing well for ourselves. But i have a problem with some relatives that are turning us into their atm machine. My husband has an uncle who has always had other people taking care of his children (5children from 3 different women) for him whilst he goes out to enjoy himself without a care in the world.

Last year my in laws asked us to take in one of his daughters so she could go to school in the city. I was hesitant at first since i did not know much about her or the father, but eventually I warmed up to the idea. Fast forward 6months later, I am sick and tired of it. She does not do her homework without being forced and sometimes she skips school. I have already been called 3times by her teacher making complaints about her attitude in class and her perfomance. If you do not dig for her homework from her bag she will not do it. This girl is already 11 and she is only in grade 4 and she bed-wets.

I do not usually resort to beating a child because I have told myself that should be the last resort, but at the same time I am tired of buying things for her because she is always destroying them. She will wear her best clothes to go play with mud outside and she has turned her school shoes in slippers. She is always losing her stationery and she has torn 2 of her school uniforms already. She once broke the toilet and we had to get a new (not toilet seat, i mean the actual damn toilet) and she broke the plasma in the living room barely 5months after we got it.

As if she is not a big enough headache, her father always finds himself in my house almost every month and he will not leave until you compensate him for coming to your house uninvited. Of course he will expect you to give him money and groceries to take home.

Everything has been frustrating my husband as well and he is considering taking the girl back to her father's house as soon as schools closes and to be honest i really do not have a problem with that, but my issue is that his family is against the idea because its not a christian thing to do (1Timothy 5v8)

To those who have been in the same situation, how did you resolve it amicably and where did you draw the line?

To solve all the issues... Take her to boarding school and you can bear responsible her fees and others. Then they will handle her with the iron hand she requires... Maybe a public school will do the magic.

nnamdibig:
you and your hubby should concentrate on making the little girl a better person. her behaviour is simply the product of where she is coming from.
as for her dad, your hubby should let him know that her daughter is enough headache already that he should not add to it.
you have the opportunity to give the little girl a life that the dad never did. do it for her sake not for the dad.

stupid advice, why they hv to concentrate on making d girl's life and leave theirs in peril? I'd say kick her d Bleep out! Ppl don't change that easily... d headache will get worse!

olawonder:
stupid advice, why they hv to concentrate on making d girl's life and leave theirs in peril? I'd say kick her d Bleep out! Ppl don't change that easily... d headache will get worse!

Smh.

cococandy:
You don't even have common sense. Is she supposed to be responsible for the girl? Having the girl in her home is supposed to be a favor and not something in-laws sit together, decide and foist on her. Your type will always have marital problems because you take your spouses for granted.

If you can't raise a child, don't have one. Simple. Nobody came to this world to raise your kids for you. Such disgusting entitlement mentality.

This is the "standard response" of very selfish, devlish women.... and I am 100% sure that you have marital problems (single mother), in real life!

While l dont support the girl misbehaving but in all honesty, l cant buy all the EVIL REVELATION she narrated about the girl!
11 year old girl for that matter!

Plane and simple, She does NOT want the girl in their household...... and would say ANYTHING to get her out.

But like others have pointed out, will she have the same attitude, if the girl where to be her own sibling (from her own side)?
Why is it that Women generally hate to see the siblings of their Husband yet, they crowd the whole house with their own siblings?

Women should try to be a lil'bit more tolerant of their husband's relative because who knows, maybe these are the people that made your husband into what he is today, for you to want to marry him.

Everything still boils down to the man. He has to know where to draw the line

If the wifey wants to destroy the marriage because of that little girl, then so be it..... meaning "it was never meant to be in the first place".




Lastpage!

!!DISCIPLINE!! is key here... you need not do the same thing others did as it may not work in your case. find the best form of discipline to employ and enforce it.

My question is what were you expecting when you took the child in the first place, a well behaved matured and intelligent child? Am not in a hurry to swallow all you said because you sounded like one whose heart is made up on what to do but seeks validation.

There is a cost that comes with training a child. It's either you are ready to bear the cost and reap the benefit in future or you send her home which is what you already want to do but stop giving the child an unnecessary bad publicity. How come you couldn't mention even one thing the child and her family does right? Are they entirely evil?

A lot of great people today had a difficult childhood (maybe including your husband), but people like you believed in them and gave them chance to survive. You have started a process and terminating it now may not end well especially if you send her home. That's because she has tasted a "good" life, she can't fit in anymore to her parent's standard of living meaning she'll revolt and end up worse-off.

bebe2:


That is ehh??

The so called uncles are the worst.

Few weeks ago while we were in Nigeria, one of my uncles in law casually strolled into my husbands family house to visit my parents in law only for him to meet my husband in the living room.

They briefly exchanged greetings , within a minute he has started asking my hubby for money. My hubby laughed and said no problem go and greet my parents I will see u before u leave.

He refused oo, insisting on getting some green leafs
" dollars" my Hubby was trying to introduce our 2 kids to him , saying baba, I came with my children but this man refused to even take notice of the kids rather followed my husband to our room and I greeted him. Ahhh my wife u are here, gud ask ur husband to give some green leaf. By then my husbands eldest sister came in jokingly saying don't worry he will see u later. But the man refused ooo, by now I was boiling mad, my husband gave him 5k he refused that he wanted green leaf. Dats when my sis in law took the money from my husband and stylishly took the old man out .

It was so embarrassing, he then went to greet my parents in law before coming back to our room to pray for my husband and thank him for the money.

We don't fuccking care about you and your husband.
You want everyone to know you live abroad ?? Well 85% of Nairaland members Lives in the USA, we're not moved by the mention of dollars or abroad.

olushowunm:
To solve all the issues... Take her to boarding school and you can bear responsible her fees and others. Then they will handle her with the iron hand she requires... Maybe a public school will do the magic.

Thank you, this is epic. Let any of those calling the woman bad have cases like this to attend to IJN, amen

SamMilla1:
You are probably an evil woman.
Take that from me.
All those bunch of lies you told against this girl just to paint her black, would you say the same things if she was your sister?

I can easily tell that you are angry because she came from the husbands side. It's common with all evil women.

Change your ways when you still can, otherwise you will pour hot water or acid on her someday and end up in Prison.

She broke plasma, broke Toilet WC, really? That hard thing? How did she do that? With a sledgehammer or what?
What else did she do?
She broke her shoes, tore her school uniform.
Bed-wets, fights, never do anything such as assignment?

Why don't you just tell us you want her gone so you can bring your own sister?
I am way too intelligent to believe all the rubbish you said about this innocent girl.
Even Lucipher will find it very difficult to win a destruction contest with this 11 year old girl.

On top of that, her father comes for monthly salary in your place, of course with other incentives such as groceries etc.
Where is the mother in all this?
Do you really expect me to believe you?
No mention of one good thing from the girl, not even to fetch water or cook anything?


Your heart is black because I don't see why you were hesistant when your husband wanted to bring her. Do you know their family history?
Who trained your husband? What exactly are you bringing to the table?


You first of all painted the father of the girl with black paints as if you know anything about him.
Evil thing.

And all you people shouting send her home, do you really think this evil thing is telling you all the story?
Do you not believe that if this is a law court, the girl will have her chance to say her own version.
She never wanted her in the first place and she admitted it up there. She just wanted her own relatives to fill the house. It's common with evil women.

Ow please shut it

Dyt:
For all the years the little has learnt to live
She has been that way
OK
I am not in support of all you wrote that she does
But what if she happens to be your daughter?
Will you sit and watch her bedwet?
Watch her doing all the things she does?
Have you showed her with love and care?

Ok sorry I am not giving you what you wanna read
Bye

u are somewhat wrong. if the girl had been her child,she would have mentored her d way she would like her to behave since childhood.incidentally,it is more difficult to discipline a child dts not yours cause u dont know how the parents will take it.Pls take d child to her parents now ,hence d parents and d family turn back to blame u ,and u become enemies.

First help the kid its not her fault but instead send her to a bordering house for school and for the uncle next time wen he come invite along to a 3 days Christian meeting of any kind e.g fasting ,prayer meetings infact occupied with sthg he hate doing.u and ur husband are too predictable