₦airaland Forum

fem29:
Devguru, I do not understand WHY you did not ask WHY she did this. Why did you not get to the bottom of the whole matter. It is not about her 'begging '. I don't know what it is with nigerians and begging. You do the wrong thing knowingly then you start begging when caught.

You are simply brushing it under the carpet and it is still going to rear it's ugly head again. If should doesn't have a reason for doing this, then you should divorce her cos she must be EVIL

vicadex07:
I think the reason why your wife is desperately looking for an alternative job, accommodation and even man is because both children (plus the unborn baby) are not yours and she fears that you might find out soon and send her packing. Am sure that's why are siblings her plotting against you and supporting her.

Timbuktou:
I guess he knows the marriage is over should his parents have the slightest whiff of what's happened. I envy him not. He's still in denial. Someone like me, though, smh.

You should see the movie 'Basic'

bukatyne:
Fem29, thanks for the mention.

@DevGuru:

I feel this is not the whole story. Nobody goes seeking for advice when there is no problem ( real/imagined).

What changed your wife from a loving fiancée who stood by you to a betrayer who is working towards building a parallel life?

What did you do to your wife?

vicadex07:
I think the reason why your wife is desperately looking for an alternative job, accommodation and even man is because both children (plus the unborn baby) are not yours and she fears that you might find out soon and send her packing. Am sure that's why are siblings her plotting against you and supporting her.

Ujoan:
I'm not sure how this call recorder things works, but does it not prompt before it records the calls. Or does it go ahead to record ALL calls?

Seems to me that someone with such a damming app will be quite concious of her phone conversations, bearing in mind that she married a 'techie' and those conversations are against him. Just saying ........

cococandy:
It's like a horror story. Goosebumps.

What on earth does she hope to gain by behaving that way?

Mindfulness:
I don't know what to say. It sounds like a bad Nollywood film script to me.

ashjay001:
Those u quoted stabbed were suspected to be adulterous, op didn't say anything abt adultery.

So far in my short life, women tend to be in d killing mood when it involves another woman having access to their man, so until op involves himself in such(by d way, I feel op is a muslim-access to wives), his life should be safe. Though, whatever he does should be predicated on her reaction to his confrontation.

She might show remorse when confronted, why disrupt d poor kid's life? If she doesn't, all bets are off!

pcguru1:
Mehn this marriage thing is not for me like there are crazy women everywhere

phlemzy:
Op I salute your maturity in handling this very sensitive issue. Most men out there will tow the path of divorce. A very shocking thing u discovered. If u didn't check that phone, your sister-inlaws will just be scriptwriting your matrimonial home from the comfort of their own home. Just be mature and reasonable about every thing. [s]If only couples can live without interference from in-laws[/s] ,plenty marriages wouldn't have landed in divorce today.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

freecocoa:
I get the strange aspect, though I don't find it strange at all. People will leave you shocked my sister.

Some people will pretend to the last, just to get what they want.

frozenSun:
Hope for the Best and Plan for the Worst.

have we spoken before?

Irishrena1:
I don't think so

Time2Smile:
I might actually agree with you on this (Never thought I would say that). DevGuru is avoiding the root of the issue.
1.Why did his wife change overnight.?

2. What was her complaints to her sisters that elicited those advices.?

3.What is the ultimate goal she want to achieve?

Like you mentioned she is planning for a parallel life, while the Op seemed to be blind to that fact and is just interested in saving his marriage. From the update His Wife is not even remorseful that She betrayed him. I am not even sure the woman is still interested in the marriage. Crying because she was caught not because of what she did. So many questions need answers.

marvelous000:
[size=13pt][b]

I'm so pained,provoked,irritated and disappointed with the kid glove you handled this matter; wait a minute, you think this is holly-nollywood where everything end in happily ever after.
This is fvcking real world, bro. A place where you become a dead meat for little mistake.
From your assertion, it's unequivocally overt that she ain't remorseful for the ignominious display of inanity. Instead, she is more concerned on her stakes and repute of her sisters.

Mr, it's like you don't know that you've to be alive to provide for your precious daughter. It's like you've no iota love and care for your little one,cos if you do, you wouldn't trade you life and future for the piece of shitt! You call marriage, all in the name of “making it work.”

For buhari sake. I lost two uncle to this kind of fuckery. so, I know the fvck I'm talking about. You won't know until you're helplessly enmeshed in an execrable situate(God forbide).

You're dealing with a recidivious and sybaritic betrayer. look beyond the 'cry' and emotional facade and see the grotesque.

I don't know why I'm even agitated and angry. Ok, I'm out.

[/b][/size]

vicadex07:
He couldn't give her children... probably

vicadex07:
I think the reason why your wife is desperately looking for an alternative job, accommodation and even man is because both children (plus the unborn baby) are not yours and she fears that you might find out soon and send her packing. Am sure that's why are siblings her plotting against you and supporting her.

pharmagba:
My dear, sorry if I have been hard on you.
This is not psychology anything! This is life!

The scenario you are painting is boyfriend girlfriend not marriage.

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

cococandy:
Off the top of my head, 1) having a cheating habit, 2) planning to get a second wife, 3) being violent towards her....

But the thing is OP hasn't done any of these according to his story. In fact his family loves her. And they have been happy together.
I'm really curious to know what on earth prompted her actions. Out of the blues she turned into a cold calculating back stabber. And he's taking it lightly. Glossing over it. Like seriously his wife was secretly planning to start something elsewhere to sustain her when she moves on without him and he hasn't bothered to know why she wants to abandon him out of the blues.
Read this:

The only thing I can think of is that she doesn't love him anymore, has probably found another man and is perfecting plans to leave OP high and dry. But that is me just guessing.

But I'm curious he doesn't want to know why she planned such in the first place. Patching up things without getting to the root it means it will just crack later.
Why is he so blaśe about such a big deal? Or does he know and is giving us half information?

Elle277:
From way back all is well with the two of you, she even stood by you during the hard times, devil don't like it when there is peace, so he had to use the jealous sisters to wanna destroy your marriage..probably there is no love in their marriages and they want to destroy your naive wifes own..pls don't divorce her.. just play those recordings to her and see her next reactions,, talk to her, advice her, she will def come back to her senses and you will see how those devil agents will run away from your home..bros the devil you know is better than the saint you will remarry in future...she is not a bad wife, she's just a naive one that needs some talking..you have a great fam,, and all that has bn happening is temptation, you've win one(both of you during your health challenge) now you guys have to put this set of devils were they belong,,pls try cos its only you that will make it happen through your decision...my humble opinion!

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

DevGuru:
NOTICE: . I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.
?