₦airaland Forum

DevGuru:
This is just to assure all Nairalanders on this thread that I am still standing. There have been further developments which I can't type now because my phone battery is low. I'll update all you wonderful ladies and gentlemen as soon as I get home. Cheers

Please update us

Honestly i do feel your pain,its very heratbreaking,why are you acting like you fear your wife,she obviously has seen it in you thats why she could do all that,i want to assure you that she can never change,siblings bond is very strong,they can even discuss your failures and death,pls its better you divorce her if you want to live long,you are a man act like one,a man is allowed to marry more than one,dnt allow manmade laws to clamp you down and turn you to dummy for a woman making you fear divorce,well,before you divorce her just take your daughter and fight her with every laws on that in naija,as i heard okunrin lo lomo in naija,nothing she can do about that,take your kid and let your good mum raise her,dnt ever leave her for her family or herself,they will infect her with such behaviuor,its so sad sleeping with a woman who insults your mother,a mother that birth you and made you succeed in life.But if you dnt want to divoirce her but to get rid of her is best as she would make you to remmmber all the abuses she did on your mum,dad and sinlings,so its will forever make you sad,so like i was saying,if u sytill wanna keep her,just marry another woman,more beautiful,homely,educated and get more kids from the new wife,in her second life she will learn

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

OMG,you made me laugh so much,honestly the story almost made me cry, i felt for him,shes no good woman at all,how can a wife abuse her husband immediate inlaws/dad,mum,siblings,i mean the people that made the guy before she met him,i already said they guy should either divorce her,or marry another wife come join her,a more beautiful,hardworking virtiuos wife,but i dnt ever think the man should love her again if he wants to live long.

Mafking:
Bro your matter pass nairaland.o

Your story just wan destroy my mood ni...

OP ETIE MELO?PLS SAY MEJI,HMMM your matter is a hard one that needs serious evaluation,though you have to divorce her,but remember to take your daughter along,honestly am moved to tears already,pls i would like to have your number or email,its important.

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

omg eyin funny gan o,on the impregnate her one.

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

it depends which religion they do,if they are on islam,its a sin to turn her siblings from her,as siblings are not to break ties no matter what,the best is to divorce her,by the time she leave 3husbands she will learn,f

bakynes:
Here is my own advice.
Transfer the recordings to your phone, like many has advised on this thread call a family meeting with both of em wife's sisters and their husbands, your wife's parent and your own parent.

Play the recordings to them and watch as they all begin to beg you on their knees.

Give your wife's family two conditions
1. You file for a divorce or
2. Tell your wife's parent and her sisters husbands to warn them sisters to keep away from your family.

Archangel nawa o,u funny o,beating part.

TheArchangel:
Send the recordings to each of them involved in the defamation act let them know that you have it, tell them that you have back up incase they start acting funny. Wait for their reactions and guard your life. This is if you still love your wife and want to remain married.
PlanB
Follow the advice of guys here and ask for divorce.

PlanC
Confront her and beat the living sh!t out of her. Beat and blackmail her to submission. The mere thought of anyone knowing what she did will shut her up for aeons....but she may kill you in your sleep. I won't recommend this though it will ease your anger short term.

I just realised you are a foolish insecure man,shay oibinrin tan laye ni?you playing with oka.cobra,because of 6weeks pregnancy you are jitterring?i have seen couples that endures your rubbish thinking and later divorced after 5kids and ended with sickness and later death,do you want yours to be like that?so in your mind you think bigger problem wont occur through them,you must be joking right,i only pity you.i would advise you to to still divorce her,but let the divorce take effect after the child is fully breastfed for 2yrs,then you can take her from her to your mum, to care,she will get to know her mother when shes grown and of sound mind so her mum and family dnt infect her with their evil virus. dnt

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove

Freecocoa,pls am laughing already.

freecocoa:
It's either you are related to the wife or there's something seriously wrong with your brain, so which is it?

DevGuru:
This is just to assure all Nairalanders on this thread that I am still standing. There have been further developments which I can't type now because my phone battery is low. I'll update all you wonderful ladies and gentlemen as soon as I get home. Cheers

Thank Goodness!!! I am sooooo relieved to know that. Hopefully, you're doing the right things. And please try to do a DNA whatever on your baby... Just to verify some things(no insult intended). We are here for you and praying for your family, most importantly, your life. We all need prayers. Be strong! Try not to be too sentimental. You're the man, that no with your head and not your heart. God help you.

IF HE DISGRACE THE SISTERS THEY WILL HARM HIM DIABOLICALLY.

viewflux:
An addage in isoko says that "it's better to tell a witch(your sister inlaws) that there activity in the bush is destroying the community(family) because if you don't, they will think that their activity is also contributing to the growth of the community". If it were in my community in Rivers state(name withheld) the solution to keep your wife in the marriage is for her to take an oat in a shrine that she will not do anything to harm you but since Christianity has taking sway then the solution is TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION MEETING WITH YOUR IN-LAWS FAMILY, where every party involve will come and d recording is played for everyone to hear so that your life will be SAFE.
FIRST: CONFIDE IN YOUR DAD AND ASK HIM TO KEEP YOUR MUM OUT OF THE PICTURE BECAUSE YOUR MUM LOVE UR WIFE, SO THAT THE LOVE WILL STILL BE THERE BETWEEN THEM.
SECOND: take your dad and one of your brother(ask him to keep his wife out of the picture) to your in-laws house to meet them then play the records before her parents and her sisters. After all said and done. Ask your father inlaw to ask his daughter if she wants divorce or she wants to stay(she wil accept the later) then Take your wife home.
By doing the above your have safe your life and your family and you have indirectly decleared WAR with your wife sisters without you saying it OUT because they will be so ashamed to visit or call you and your wife will do everything to gain your TRUST AGAIN.
I am married and have just told you what I would have done if in your sheo.
Your first step is okay but do the above.

tHEY ARE FIGHTING YOU SPIRITUALLY,YOU HAVE TO APPROACH SPIRITUALITY ON IT,DNT GO ABOUT DISGRACING THE SISTERS O,THEY MAY HARM YOU AND OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY,JUST CALL both parents and the sisters husbands to meeting,let the sisters be ab sent they will give them feedbacks,but what you are not telling us is much,if trully your wife has already planned to abscond that means you have to do DNA test,it does not matter shes pregnant,divorce her but still provide for her,feed,clothes and unborn,and d let the divorce come in effect after baby is 2yrs,by then she musthave finish breastfeeding,then take your baby and give your mum to care,also you need to send your email and number to me,i repeat is important.dnt fall for family meetings beggings and crocodile tears,be assured you can still have as numerous babies you want in life if you marry another woman,even a woman with one fallopiantube can still get pregnnant so you should know you can as well.

DevGuru:
This is just to assure all Nairalanders on this thread that I am still standing. There have been further developments which I can't type now because my phone battery is low. I'll update all you wonderful ladies and gentlemen as soon as I get home. Cheers

I don't think so.. Not everyone has time for all that nollywood nonsense.

uplawal:
tHEY ARE FIGHTING YOU SPIRITUALLY,YOU HAVE TO APPROACH SPIRITUALITY ON IT,DNT GO ABOUT DISGRACING THE SISTERS O,THEY MAY HARM YOU AND OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY,JUST CALL both parents and the sisters husbands to meeting,let the sisters be ab sent they will give them feedbacks,but what you are not telling us is much,if trully your wife has already planned to abscond that means you have to do DNA test,it does not matter shes pregnant,divorce her but still provide for her,feed,clothes and unborn,and d let the divorce come in effect after baby is 2yrs,by then she musthave finish breastfeeding,then take your baby and give your mum to care,also you need to send your email and number to me,i repeat is important.dnt fall for family meetings beggings and crocodile tears,be assured you can still have as numerous babies you want in life if you marry another woman,even a woman with one fallopiantube can still get pregnnant so you should know you can as well.

saintkel:
good morning dear, hope u slept well?

Good morning Kel!
Trust you're good this morning?

Lizzyangel:
why do we have freedom to personal and family life in the constitution?
must he go through his wife's phone?
note:I'm not blaming him but he shouldn't have done so in the first place, if the wife is plotting evil against him and he kept been the good hubby, it's either she end up harming herself or personally decide not to listen to her siblings again,
now he listened to everything and will never forget even if he forgives

Please, are you married?

uplawal:
OP ETIE MELO?PLS SAY MEJI,HMMM your matter is a hard one that needs serious evaluation,though you have to divorce her,but remember to take your daughter along,honestly am moved to tears already,pls i would like to have your number or email,its important.

I'll suggest you don't do that. You don't want some idiots thinking you wanna hit on him, you know..... Just saying

Luckygurl:
Good morning Kel! Trust you're good this morning?

I am if u r, r u?

uplawal:
I just realised you are a foolish insecure man,shay oibinrin tan laye ni?you playing with oka.cobra,because of 6weeks pregnancy you are jitterring?i have seen couples that endures your rubbish thinking and later divorced after 5kids and ended with sickness and later death,do you want yours to be like that?so in your mind you think bigger problem wont occur through them,you must be joking right,i only pity you.i would advise you to to still divorce her,but let the divorce take effect after the child is fully breastfed for 2yrs,then you can take her from her to your mum, to care,she will get to know her mother when shes grown and of sound mind so her mum and family dnt infect her with their evil virus. dnt

The way you are mentioning divorce I doubt if you are married or a lady.
In this marriage, mind you we are listening to only one partner hence it is very wise to advice him on the path of reconcilation.
Don't be surprised if you hear from the lady, you'll think the husband is very bad.
As I said earlier this is just a sister to sister talk that gone awry and hence developed bad blood in the relationship. This happens to someone you share your innersmost secret and is giving a bad advice.
This is a minor issue that can be sorted out between the two.
Finally for you to come here and make your comment that one should divorce, it indicates you aare very myopic in accessment of thing
Poor relationship management and poor knowledge of marriage

uplawal:
I just realised you are a foolish insecure man,shay oibinrin tan laye ni?you playing with oka.cobra,because of 6weeks pregnancy you are jitterring?i have seen couples that endures your rubbish thinking and later divorced after 5kids and ended with sickness and later death,do you want yours to be like that?so in your mind you think bigger problem wont occur through them,you must be joking right,i only pity you.i would advise you to to still divorce her,but let the divorce take effect after the child is fully breastfed for 2yrs,then you can take her from her to your mum, to care,she will get to know her mother when shes grown and of sound mind so her mum and family dnt infect her with their evil virus. dnt

you are a bastard and don't have manner . If you don't have sensible things to say . Why not shut up. You don't have to accuse the op. Omo ale jati jati. Alaileko

pharmagba:
The way you are mentioning divorce I doubt if you are married or a lady.
In this marriage, mind you we are listening to only one partner hence it is very wise to advice him on the path of reconcilation.
Don't be surprised if you hear from the lady, you'll think the husband is very bad.
As I said earlier this is just a sister to sister talk that gone awry and hence developed bad blood in the relationship. This happens to someone you share your innersmost secret and is giving a bad advice.
This is a minor issue that can be sorted out between the two.
Finally for you to come here and make your comment that one should divorce, it indicates you aare very myopic in accessment of thing
Poor relationship management and poor knowledge of marriage

The way you think amazes me. It's like to you, marriage is a do die issue. Like does marriage lead to heaven in your case? We're your parents divorced, and as a result, you ended up being traumatized? Yes God doesn't encourage divorce, but In my bible, God outrighly approves of it when the need be. You're the one with the myopic mentality here. Marriage is not a one sided thing, it takes two people to work it out. I can't imagine having someone like you as a relative If God forbid, we were relatives. You advised the OP I. Your last post to keep getting her pregnant. What sort of a mentality is that? Keep producing babies in an unhappy environment? Are you that selfish with life? My God! That advice is a primitve one! It says a lot about your person. You're the type that could kill a partner if they decided to leave the relationship. You seem to be so domineering, forceful, and quite manipulative.

OP, whether u choose to divorce ur wife or not, is not my business actually. But one thing I d like to say here is that, a woman who can't keep her husband's secret, especially a secret like urs, hmmmmm, to me, she cannot be trusted. And from all indications, it's evident that she's wrapped around the fingers of her sisters,and as such, they can manipulate her as they wish. Believe u me, she d do their bidding again, once she's been able to make u believe that she doesn't keep contact with them anymore. She may be smart enough to delete all records of their conversation this time. Be smart sir. Be wise.

Ochyglowsglows:
OP, whether u choose to divorce ur wife or not, is not my business actually. But one thing I d like to say here is that, a woman who can't keep her husband's secret, especially a secret like urs, hmmmmm, to me, she cannot be trusted. And from all indications, it's evident that she's wrapped around the fingers of her sisters,and as such, they can manipulate her as they wish. Believe u me, she d do their bidding again, once she's been able to make u believe that she doesn't keep contact with them anymore. She may be smart enough to delete all records of their conversation this time. Be smart sir. Be wise.

Kontinu... Counsellor

uplawal:
I just realised you are a foolish insecure man,shay oibinrin tan laye ni?you playing with oka.cobra,because of 6weeks pregnancy you are jitterring?i have seen couples that endures your rubbish thinking and later divorced after 5kids and ended with sickness and later death,do you want yours to be like that?so in your mind you think bigger problem wont occur through them,you must be joking right,i only pity you.i would advise you to to still divorce her,but let the divorce take effect after the child is fully breastfed for 2yrs,then you can take her from her to your mum, to care,she will get to know her mother when shes grown and of sound mind so her mum and family dnt infect her with their evil virus. dnt

pharmagba:
The way you are mentioning divorce I doubt if you are married or a lady.
In this marriage, mind you we are listening to only one partner hence it is very wise to advice him on the path of reconcilation.
Don't be surprised if you hear from the lady, you'll think the husband is very bad.
As I said earlier this is just a sister to sister talk that gone awry and hence developed bad blood in the relationship. This happens to someone you share your innersmost secret and is giving a bad advice.
This is a minor issue that can be sorted out between the two.
Finally for you to come here and make your comment that one should divorce, it indicates you aare very myopic in accessment of thing
Poor relationship management and poor knowledge of marriage

Yeh! **falls off mat**
See gorilla calling someone monkey!

Plz, always read d poo u type b4 posting!

Did u just hear urself?
In ur "church mind" what do u think d guy could've done to warrant d geh casting him and his entire generation b4 her siblings to d extent of revealing a most priced secret (ie d 1 testicle tin) 2 her siblings? If she could stoop so low............. she has metaphorically killed d guy!

Yes, she's free to divulge her own secrets as she so desires, but Bruhhhhhh........, not anoda parzinz secret - how much less ur husband[/b]
This shows dt u yourself can't be entrusted with a vital secret


#2~of~a~kind

2ndly, abeg who is suffering from acute obtuse reflex myopia btw d 2 of u? The fact dt u can't stand another person's contrary opinion show sey ya mind narrow pass needle!


The more u try 2 form sey "na only me sabi" 4 ds thread, d more u dey convince pipo sey na frozen akamu dey in-between ur ears!

I know my father well and well brought up,its you that is showing signs of being a bastard,yes i would say again that the said OP is foolish on the detriment of his life and daughter,if he does not want this he should not have come to nairaland to pour his cry and his followed foolish updates,so i know what am saying,i guesse you are the OP pained by what i said,but truly you must be very silly to talk to me like that, i wont swear as i have no traits of cursing in my lineage.

yoged:
you are a bastard and don't have manner . If you don't have sensible things to say . Why not shut up. You don't have to accuse the op. Omo ale jati jati. Alaileko

graphiti:
Yeh! **falls off mat**
See gorilla calling someone monkey!

Plz, always read d poo u type b4 posting!

Did u just hear urself?
In ur "church mind" what do u think d guy could've done to warrant d geh casting him and his entire generation b4 her siblings to d extent of revealing a most priced secret (ie d 1 testicle tin) 2 her siblings? If she could stoop so low............. she has metaphorically killed d guy!

This shows dt u yourself can't be entrusted with a vital secret


#2~of~a~kind

2ndly, abeg who is suffering from acute obtuse reflex myopia btw d 2 of u? The fact dt u can't stand another person's contrary opinion show sey ya mind narrow pass needle!


The more u try 2 form sey "na only me sabi" 4 ds thread, d more u dey convince pipo sey na frozen akamu dey in-between ur ears!

I got it
You wanted my attention badly
I'm sorry you're not my type, NOT even for a side chick

DevGuru:
This is just to assure all Nairalanders on this thread that I am still standing. There have been further developments which I can't type now because my phone battery is low. I'll update all you wonderful ladies and gentlemen as soon as I get home. Cheers

Bro, keenly following this thread, please come and update it. Thank God for the great wisdo you displayed

uplawal:
I know my father well and well brought up,its you that is showing signs of being a bastard,yes i would say again that the said OP is foolish on the detriment of his life and daughter,if he does not want this he should not have come to nairaland to pour his cry and his followed foolish updates,so i know what am saying,i guesse you are the OP pained by what i said,but truly you must be very silly to talk to me like that, i wont swear as i have no traits of cursing in my lineage.

you don't have manner ..you kids of nowadays . Always think before you talk . How old are you? If you were brought up well you wouldn't have accuse the op. . Den born you to tell me this in my face ...

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove

My opinion

Keeping this to yourself is the greatest disfavor to your own self.

Reasons
1. A direct confrontation of the sister in the presence of their parents is the only panacea to your safety and that of your marriage

2. You may feel you are letting the sleeping dog lie, not knowing that they my go back to the drawing board and outsmart you in the nearest future.

3.The peace and success of your marriage is not negotiable hence anybody standing as an obstacle need to be called out, her sister Inclussive.

4.Take love out of this. Your safety and that of your home is the issue here. It is official. Get the consent of your wife (whether or not she gives it), do not be emotional about it and control any trace of anger. Be calm but assertive when taking your stand.

5.Be clear about rescuing your family from negative external influence.

6.By so doing, a similar event may not reoccur in the nearest future.

7.But if you let it slide unresolved, Note the following :

a. Your offending inlaw would hatch out a superior game plan in the nearest future and the cleanup of any trail or hint would beat your imagination.

b. That which you are afraid of may likely happen and there won't be remedy for you cos you failed to act/strike the iron when it was red-hot.

c. Your other guess is as good as mine.


A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

pharmagba:
I got it
You wanted my attention badly
I'm sorry you're not my type, NOT even for a side chick

Yekpa, ds geh nor go kee parzin wit laff sha!

#rotf + lmfao + lwtmb!

Let's assume I "wanted ur attention" (sic) in d 1st instance, the mere fact dt u could try to justify d OP's wife's shameful mouth-running misdemeanor shows dt I'd rather kee myself than confide in u!

As I said earlier this is just a
sister to sister talk that gone
awry and hence developed bad
blood in the relationship. This
happens to someone you share
your innersmost secret and is
giving a bad advice.

As aforementioned, u are free (like bicycle wheel) to reveal ur own/personal secrets to whosoever u desire, but NOT anoda parzin's secret (least ur husband's most cherished secret ) without their permission!




Na so Delilah take reveal hin husband (Samson) secret to hin enemies!
Judges 16 vs 4-21


#Baba~God~save~us~from~mouthrunning~"friends"

Come here and try shit with me,you think say naija where woman no dey get right,you can do nothing if i tell it to your face,even if you try any shit i will get you bundled to jail and also get you beaten by hoodlums. u think am one of the juveline on nairaland,am in my midthirty.

yoged:
you don't have manner ..you kids of nowadays . Always think before you talk . How old are you? If you were brought up well you wouldn't have accuse the op. . Den born you to tell me this in my face ...

double post deleted!

AlienStar:
I can never advise you to divorce her esp since she is not infidel... This generation forgot that marriage must have it's ups & down, it ain't a bed of roses. And you should know that she knew her siblings b4 you (I'm ain't justifying her o, buh it's the reality) so it may be easy for them to manipulate her esp as she's the last born! So now copy does recordings to your phone (as proof) and ask her about it, tell that this is her home that she shouldn't allow her siblings to run it for her to avoid expensive mistake. I think you shouldn't invite a 3rd party and always pray together ("cause the family that prays together, stays 2geda".)

What is this one saying?
Did you read the story? did you digest it?
What else do you want him to expect from such marriage?
Is it until he dies of food poisoning or hangs himself?
can't you see he is no more a man? he has lost the dignity and respect of manhood.

A little feces at the edge of the plate of your food that you decided to clean up or look away from and continue eating , if your eyes could, can your mind do the same?


OP, you are in the midst of enemies. You want a peace of mind for the rest of your life? you v gotta walk away brother. Yorubas will say " Ti olorun ba ti fi ota eni han eni, ko tun le pani mo" meaning When God decides to reveal your enemies to you, they shouldn't be able to harm/kill you anymore... that is if you do the needful. you are currently in a death sentence cage, not marriage!

Marrying a Bad wife? quite manageable, but marrying from a Bad Family? then you are a living corpse, trust me.