flyca:
For you to tell us that your brother is now successful in the US tells me all is not well. Maybe, a bait to lure Chioma and her son back. Either Karma is knocking already or your bro is impotent as someone mentioned already.

Anyway, if I were Chioma, I will never come back even if all is well. 23 years?! Why the sudden love and search? When her days of sorrow, regret, blame and disgrace are over. When she is counting her blessing now. Son might already being rounding up with first degree sef. And you want to come back now and remind them of sorrowful days - probably out of selfish interest.

I wish you well.

He who is not without sin let him cast the first stone. Mistakes have been made and regrets accepted in humility.

But my dear, two wrongs can't make a right.

mynduu44:
Oga dele, ur brother dey fork gal wey him no sabi her surname

The truth was that ur family never wanted anything to do with the Chioma nd son because they could neither get her full name nor her village...

Secondly, we knew they were no GSM but people used phone booth then abii I could remember I ve used Nipost to send a letter to enugu and I also got a reply..
So save ur lies..

Now to solution:
You have to drop your brothers full name because no be ur brother be the only fuckative then for ikoyi wey give gal belle, this might enable third party who re privy to ur brothers name to get across to chioma.

I pray u guyz find that boy, if not for anything, to bring joy to Ms Chioma who must ve been in pain..
Sincerely I pity for Chioma.

Thank you for your contribution.
There was Nipost phone booth yes, but you have to use it to call someone who had a phone. Neither Chioma or Ikechukwu had a phone.

Remember that looking back there is enough blames to go around and my family accepts this.
My brother realizes his mistakes with high sense of humility. I know he wishes he can take the hand of the clock back. Don't we all?

All efforts to help will be appreciated.

Spirit1:
Keep in mind that in most Igbo land, a son has no claim in his maternal home.
Finding a lost father therefore is a necessity.

If you read the story carefully you will realize that it wasn't deliberate. People make mistakes. He did in this case. I am not defending him. But blood is thicker than water.

I totally understand that people make mistakes. It is not by intention to put your brother's head on a sledge. But don't make it sound like your brother is doing the son a favor. He is 23 years now, that means he has passed his formative years, that age that kids will need a father figure in their lives. Therefore apart from drolling money at him, the time for your brother to shape a boy into a man is gone, for good!

You talked about male children not having a heritage in their mom's home. May I remind you that African cultures has been vastly eroded by Western culture. Many families are getting educated, becoming wiser, knowing their place in the society. And that is one.
Next is that we do not know the hands into which Chioma has fallen into. To be honest with you, if she is in the hands of a man who values her and treats her with respect, not even her all relatives will know that your brother's son is not Chioma's husband's child. Besides, this is 21st century. Many women have made and are making fortunes for their children. And you know they rarely bother their lives with what they would inherit from the fathers of their kids, especially those who were not there when they were needed most.

So, DO NOT ASSUME that your brother is certainly doing this son a favor by looking for him after 23 years.

Spirit1:



Thanks for your understanding. Yes people make mistakes, but this involves human life and family.

Nairaland is good, but why not patronize local Radio and television station within Abia State, especially in Aba as believe that the resources is not an issue here.

kaziblake:
This thread is making me angry..Even if it's the chioma I know i wont tell her anything

Okay

obicentlis:

Nairaland is good, but why not patronize local Radio and television station within Abia State, especially in Aba as believe that the resources is not an issue here.

Thank you. I appreciate your helpful advise.

Spirit1:


Keep in mind that in most Igbo land, a son has no claim in his maternal home.
Finding a lost father therefore is a necessity.

If you read the story carefully you will realize that it wasn't deliberate. People make mistakes. He did in this case. I am not defending him. But blood is thicker than water.

A mistake TWO people made . . . . Unfortunately Chioma had to pay for the both of them all these 23 years past, what choice does she have? Not like she can just throw her child away like your brother did!

Kind of convinient for your brother to decide to pay for his 'mistakes ' after have a lovely life without the inconvenience of a love child..

Buying the wrong shoe is a mistake, forgetting to turn the tap off is a misake . . . Abandoning your own child is an irresponsible act that only a truly wicked person can pull off.

No amount of sugar coating can change that and honestly trying to justify it is a huge insult and lack of consideration for what he put the young lady through.

flyca:

I totally understand that people make mistakes. It is not by intention to put your brother's head on a sledge. But don't make it sound like your brother is doing the son a favor. He is 23 years now, that means he has passed his formative years, that age that kids will need a father figure in their lives. Therefore apart from drolling money at him, the time for your brother to shape a boy into a man is gone, for good!

You talked about male children not having a heritage in their mom's home. May I remind you that African cultures has been vastly eroded by Western culture. Many families are getting educated, becoming wiser, knowing their place in the society. And that is one.
Next is that we do not know the hands into which Chioma has fallen into. To be honest with you, if she is in the hands of a man who values her and treats her with respect, not even her all relatives will know that your brother's son is not Chioma's husband's child. Besides, this is 21st century. Many women have made and are making fortunes for their children. And you know they rarely bother their lives with what they would inherit from the fathers of their kids, especially those who were not there when they were needed most.

So, DO NOT ASSUME that your brother is certainly doing this son a favor by looking for him after 23 years.

Yes I agree with you. This is not about doing him or his mother a favor. This is about making effort to right a wrong.
No assumptions is being made here, but we all know that a mistake has occurred.
Shit happens in life, but everyone deserves a second chance.

I really appreciate your kind contribution.

Ujoan:


A mistake TWO people made . . . . Unfortunately Chioma had to pay for the both of them all these 23 years past, what choice does she have? Not like she can just throw her child away like your brother did!

Kind of convinient for your brother to decide to pay for his 'mistakes ' after have a lovely life without the inconvenience of a love child..

Buying the wrong shoe is a mistake, forgetting to turn the tap off is a misake . . . Abandoning your own child is an irresponsible act that only a truly wicked person can pull off.

No amount of sugar coating can change that and honestly trying to justify it is a huge insult and lack of consideration for what he put the young lady through.

Keep in mind that by the time he realized that a child was born from the brief relationship it had been 2 years and Chioma was nowhere to be found.
They were only friends for barely 3 months, when all this happened.

Either way, I agree that abandoning ones child is irresponsible.

crackhaus:

Chief.... that year, before you call person with payphone for booth or borrow-from-neighbour landline, you no go first know the number wey you wan dial?

Before you send your letter via post-office, you no go first know & write the address of where you wan send am go?

Hahahahahahahahahahhahaha..
Guy u go wicked that year....

Spirit1:


Keep in mind that in most Igbo land, a son has no claim in his maternal home.
Finding a lost father therefore is a necessity.

If you read the story carefully you will realize that it wasn't deliberate. People make mistakes. He did in this case. I am not defending him. But blood is thicker than water.

Is it?

Somehow, I don't think whoever took Chioma and your brother's abandoned child in and loved that boy like their own flesh and blood, educated him, provided him with a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food in his belly, watched him take his first steps, heard him utter his first words, loved him enough to give him their name, and most importantly covered Chioma's shame - will share your sentiments of blood is thicker than water.

Spirit1:

They will have to make that decision themselves. Just like the young man will make his own decision. At least he should have the opportunity to benefit from his father's wealth if he wishes.
I know he is rich enough to offer him some comfort, although nothing can replace all these years of absence

Wow!

D'you know how pompous that sounds? Seems like even after 23 years, nothing's changed yet.

How d'you know Chioma and her son after all those years of suffering, haven't made it big? How d'you know fortune hasn't smiled on them and they too are far blessed with riches more than that of your entire family combined?

You assume because your family turned their back on her and your nephew, they've remained as you lot left them?

Odiegwu.

Spirit1:


No actually he has 2 other sons. Why leave this unfortunate boy out there, when he has become successful enough to care for him and atone for the mistakes?
This is more of family than what he stands to gain.
All members of the family have been pushing to retrace the boy.

You mean after you lot abandoned him to bear the name bàstàrd?

This your handle sef? Are you a ritualist? Is that what this is all about?

kaziblake:
I know a lady in my street bearing chioma with a 23yrs old son born outside wedlock...she told us how the man family rejected her and how she and her new husband suffered to train him in school but if she is the one you guys are talking about,just forget it.
1,Your brother is heartless and I won't show or tell her anything about this post..God has redeem himself in their life and the boy is done with school.
Just forget about him
Karma is a b!tch

Lol!

Plus the boy already has his real daddy. Not some pretentious sperm donor.

Spirit1:


No actually he has 2 other sons. Why leave this unfortunate boy out there, when he has become successful enough to care for him and atone for the mistakes?
This is more of family than what he stands to gain.
All members of the family have been pushing to retrace the boy.

You might be surprised this "unfortunate" boy is neighbors with his father in the US, and doing extremely well.
He's a man now, and not a boy.
Anyway, details are so sketchy. I'm not so sure she can be located easily. No pictures of Chioma, and you don't know her surname. Maybe you would have gone looking for her in her hometown.
I hope you find your relative, and hope scammers will not approach you guys that they're the lost son who's mother is now "dead" hence not verifiable.

Bromeh spirito, please stop telling us about US and money.
You are looking for a needle in a haystack. I know like 100 chiomas.
Your brother's name is Ike chukwu. ..ikechukwu onye?
Where are you guys from?
What is the name of the street your brother lived in 23 years ago?
"oga onye" is chioma's uncle bearing?
What class and which school was chioma in back then? What is your sisters name? If your brother wants to see them,post his picture for the world to see. It is done on NTA like that...abi I lie?
ka anyi bido ngahu!

crackhaus:


I don't see how Shell can be of help like some suggested.
You don't just waltz into Shell or any other multinational and start requesting employee info (past or present)... I wonder how he would even make it through the security outpost without first stating his business there.

Shell is a multinational
If he approaches the HR dept of the US office, someone there might be able to mobilise the Nigerian office
You never can tell so don't rule it out completely
Also if he speaks to someone who works for Shell in Nigeria, they might be able to get him through the door
If he gets an insider, they may be able to help him

Spirit1:


Keep in mind that by the time he realized that a child was born from the brief relationship it had been 2 years and Chioma was nowhere to be found.
They were only friends for barely 3 months, when all this happened.

Either way, I agree that abandoning ones child is irresponsible.

Please the more you try and justify the worse it sounds
if you has starred looking for the boy 21 years ago, then thats a different story.
So for 21 years your family has sat there waiting for your brother to make it, then suddenly want to throw money and US at the boy
How do you even know that the boy needs your money and access to the US

You are still picturing Chioma the poor drivers sister
Folorunsho Alakija was a hairdresser once upon a time
The Chioma may even be bigger than the lot of you put together and may not need one penny of yours.
The boy may even be in the US now
you guys have a picture of a boy struggling and hustling to go to school and with a washed out, poverty stricken, looking older than her age hungry mother. You may be so wrong.

Your sister behaved very badly to say the least and to be honest she is wicked.
As an elder, you never ever send away someone who comes and claims that she is carrying a baby for your family member, not until you are 100 percent sure that that baby is not one of yours.

The boy may not even know that he has been adopted by a man who has been a father in the real sense of it
My friend didn't know that he was adopted until his "mother" died when he was in his 30's
23 years is a very very long time pls.
The boy is an adult and doesn't really need parental care at this point
What you have to offer him now is not worth the disruption and opening of healed wounds.
But all said and done, I hope you find him so that you can apologise to him and his mom at the very least.

^^^Aunty Chaircover saying it as it is and making a lot of sense on nairaland since 2006

tearoses:


Shell is a multinational
If he approaches the HR dept of the US office, someone there might be able to mobilise the Nigerian office
You never can tell so don't rule it out completely
Also if he speaks to someone who works for Shell in Nigeria, they might be able to get him through the door
If he gets an insider, they may be able to help him

I don't know how they run the HR Dept in the US office, but I do have an idea how they run it here.

Like you say, if he gets someone who works presently for SPDC in Lagos, he might be able to get through....and that's a very big 'might'.

Thank you

Ujoan:


A mistake TWO people made . . . . Unfortunately Chioma had to pay for the both of them all these 23 years past, what choice does she have? Not like she can just throw her child away like your brother did!

Kind of convinient for your brother to decide to pay for his 'mistakes ' after have a lovely life without the inconvenience of a love child..

Buying the wrong shoe is a mistake, forgetting to turn the tap off is a misake . . . Abandoning your own child is an irresponsible act that only a truly wicked person can pull off.

No amount of sugar coating can change that and honestly trying to justify it is a huge insult and lack of consideration for what he put the young lady through.

"The unfortunate boy"

The arrogance. SMH.

US indeed. You know how many Nigerians are more well to do that Americans and American immigrants? Instead of showing that your family is truly contrite and providing helpful information that can be used to locate them, you're busy stressing your belief that they are still church rats. And brandishing 'your wealth' in the hopes of enticing them with it.

That's very very condescending mister.

cococandy:
"The unfortunate boy"

The arrogance. SMH.

US indeed. You know how many Nigerians are more well to do that Americans and American immigrants? Instead of showing that your family is truly contrite and providing helpful information that can be used to locate them, you're busy stressing your belief that they are still church rats. And brandishing 'your wealth' in the hopes of enticing them with it.

That's very very condescending mister.

Thank you

Either way the choice belongs to the young man.
Don't you agree that he should be given the opportunity to make this choice?

I don't just understand sha.
Nairaland is full of vicious and bitter people.
In what way has this fellow or his brother aggravated anyone that some have even resorted to insults and all sorts of name calling? No tact or etiquette at all.


Disgusting.

Na wa! Nairalanders can castigate shaaa!

If anything, we have all come to the GREAT conclusion that 'Ikechukwu' and family did wrong plus his brother is just saying everything wrong.

But most importantly, can we MOVE forward?? Yes, some mistakes are costlier than others with dire consequences but then is it your 'consequences'? Lol. I'm sure by now they realized how wrongly they treated 'Chioma'

If you can help, please help. Has anybody stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, there is a slightest chance that both 'Chioma' and son might equally be hoping to find 'Ikechukwu'??

RiloKiley:
I don't just understand sha.
Nairaland is full of vicious and bitter people.
In what way has this fellow or his brother aggravated anyone that some have even resorted to insults and all sorts of name calling? No tact or etiquette at all.


Disgusting.

And this your comment is tactful?

I don't understand why people feel the need to attack others and their opinion . . .

You are accusing people of being bitter when your own post reeks of deep seated bitterness. Kind of hypocritical don't you think?

People are trying to call this OP to order so that if he does find the people he's looking for, he would drop the superiority act and actually understand that they wronged that young boy and his mother and nothing can change that. They have to realize that they need to be begging and apologising for their selfishness in the past, and not acting like they are doing them a favour.

I know how hard it is for people to face criticism, especially when they think they have arrived. But we won't be doing our civic duty if we just patted him on the back and gave him the award he seems to think he deserves.

You should show example and stop questioning other people's opinion.

rvpbae:
Na wa! Nairalanders can castigate shaaa!

If anything, we have all come to the GREAT conclusion that 'Ikechukwu' and family did wrong plus his brother is just saying everything wrong.

But most importantly, can we MOVE forward?? Yes, some mistakes are costlier than others with dire consequences but then is it your 'consequences'? Lol. I'm sure by now they realized how wrongly they treated 'Chioma'

If you can help, please help. Has anybody stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, there is a slightest chance that both 'Chioma' and son might equally be hoping to find 'Ikechukwu'??

Would you abandon your child for ANY reason? I guess your answer to that would tell if you agree that OP's brother did wrong or not.

Maybe they are actually hoping to find him, but it still doesn't change the fact that they were wronged. They may decide to be the bigger person and forgive him. But let him not think they don't have a choice.

The dismissive nature of OP's comments is insensitive and shows lack of acceptance for the wrong they did.

Spirit1:


No actually he has 2 other sons. Why leave this unfortunate boy out there, when he has become successful enough to care for him and atone for the mistakes?
This is more of family than what he stands to gain.
All members of the family have been pushing to retrace the boy.

And what makes you think the boy is unfortunate?
After 23 years, i doubt your family has anything tangible to offer that young man...

Ujoan:


Would you abandon your child for ANY reason? I guess your answer to that would tell if you agree that OP's brother did wrong or not.

Maybe they are actually hoping to find him, but it still doesn't change the fact that they were wronged. They may decide to be the bigger person and forgive him. But let him not think they don't have a choice.

The dismissive nature of OP's comments is insensitive and shows lack of acceptance for the wrong they did.

Madam, you merely reiterated all I said in my post.

My own is move forward. All these is water under the bridge.

Dear Op, I have come to realise that seeking help on this forum is a big WASTE OF TIME.
mainly due to the following reasons:

1. There are many immature individuals who get personal each time they drop comments, hence logic is thrown for emotions.

2. Everyone here wants to voice out an opinion but sadly, wants his/her opinion to be the ONLY right one.

3. The level of judgemental criticism is second to none, they would do your wake, bury you, and dance the burial thanksgiving
even before you are dead.

4. They mock some or all of your listed issues just to point out your mistakes.

5. They end up giving you little or no help at all, even when they give u an advice, its normally a terrible one.

That being said, there are some few matured ones as I have seen very good suggestions, but most of them are well.... just catching fun.
Just be careful the kind of issues you share and be ready to receive the mega bashing of your life.

N.B: Don't quote me pls. I didn't call anybody's name, so read and passover!

Ujoan:


And this your comment is tactful?

I don't understand why people feel the need to attack others and their opinion . . .

You are accusing people of being bitter when your own post reeks of deep seated bitterness. Kind of hypocritical don't you think?

People are trying to call this OP to order so that if he does find the people he's looking for, he would drop the superiority act and actually understand that they wronged that young boy and his mother and nothing can change that. They have to realize that they need to be begging and apologising for their selfishness in the past, and not acting like they are doing them a favour.

I know how hard it is for people to face criticism, especially when they think they have arrived. But we won't be doing our civic duty if we just patted him on the back and gave him the award he seems to think he deserves.

You should show example and stop questioning other people's opinion.

Civic duty, lol, who is paying you for it?
You think you have made sense by all these words you typed? Where has he specifically mentioned he deserved any award? Where has he shown pride? Because he mentioned money, you don't like money? You wanted him to be poverty stricken? He even admitted his family was at fault and nobody is above mistake, what is you people's problem really

Yes, my comment was tactful. It was a generalized statement to pass a point across without accusing anyone in particular. Enough leeway to let those guilty of attacking the op unnecessarily read and move on without feeling personally affronted. Your quoting me specifically shows you are one of the bitter people sticking their nose in too deep for something that doesn't concern you in any way.

Spirit1:


1. Polite greetings and rubbing of your egos so he can get some help
Fellow nairalanders, I must say that I have been impressed with the way this website and it's members have worked to reunite families together.

I am hoping that you can do the same for my family.


2. Statement of the problem

My older brother who is now successful in the USA had a son sometime in 1993 with a neighbors sister who was his "secret girlfriend" in those days. In those days, you can't have a girl friend openly if you are not married. My family didn't allow things like that.

He was a young graduate then living in the boys quarters of my sister's house at 40 Gerard Road Ikoyi.

The girl in question was living in the neighborhood with her brother who worked as a driver with Shell.

Her name is Chioma and she is from Ngwa in Abia State. It was an unplanned pregnancy.

The son must have been born sometime between September and November 1993.

3. Acceptance of blame, pleas, explanations, further pleas.

Unfortunately my brother didn't know that Chioma was pregnant when he left Lagos for Immigration course in Kano for 9 months. Please [/b]note that there were no cell phones or emails readily available in those days.

[b]It was after he returned about two years to the area that people told him what happened and by that time Chioma was gone from the area and he didn't have any more information to contact her.

Before Chioma left Lagos, she brought the boy to our big sister, who adviced her to return months later when my brother will be around, but Chioma was probably sent back to the village by her brother and never returned.

Over the years our family have been trying to locate Chioma and my brother's son. Unfortunately he doesn't have more information about Chioma apart from what I have said here.

But I believe in the power of nairalanders. Please help.

Please this child was never neglected, my brother just didn't have a way to contact him or his mother. We want him to reunite with his father's family and to compensate Chioma for years of sacrifice, although no amount of money can repay her.

Mods please help post in front page. Anybody who may know a story similar to above please contact me.

This is the original op's comment.
At first bolded, he starts by greeting you all in a respective manner. He talks about the prowess of nairalanders in helping to solve problems and his hope that his need will be met. How much more polite can you get?

At second bolded, he states the problem clearly. I guess because he mentioned his brother was successful and in the USA while the supposed girlfriend came from a poor family immediately a lot of you became jealous and judgmental (Yes, JEALOUS! You wont admit it but that was your first feeling!)! Should he hide his status again? He is trying to say he can now take good care of the boy if perchance they are still in an abject state of poverty BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WAY HE LEFT THEM. He has not done anything wrong by being successful and he definitely does not sound proud at this point.

At third bolded, Pleadings, apologies, explanations and more pleadings. He mentions money again, something that is apparently wrong to mention on this forum, and a lot of JEALOUSY flares up again. What has he said wrong? He even said he wants to compensate her ALTHOUGH HE KNOWS NO AMOUNT CAN PAY FOR WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO HER. How do you want him to say it again? Someone is saying he should stop mentioning money, he should stop mentioning money as if "money" is biting him/her!

I dare you to recompose his op to be more acceptable to the general public.

You people just like having the power to judge and execute. It pleases you to see the 'american big boy' in so much pains because he cannot get to his son. Some are shouting karma as if they haven't done a bad thing in their life. Someone is even wishing him impotency! Thank God the op said his brother has two sons else you all would have been throwing a party at his misfortune! Painting yourselves as saints and pointing fingers at the op who has been amazingly polite and agreeing that yes his brother was at fault, taking all sorts of insults with humility just so he can get the help he wants. I guess that's what massages your egos.
Was his brother the one that threw the girl away? Was it not the sister? Even if it was him can he not be allowed to repent and reunite with his son? Even if his family abandoned her hasn't the op said severally that the fault was theirs and they are willing to correct their mistake?

No empathy at all! You blame the government for everything when you cannot even show pity on yourselves!

One poster is even angry on Chioma's behalf?! Has she asked the Chioma whether she is angry? If she has vital information to the finding of this woman and her son, isn't the normal thing to do to ask chioma WHAT HER OWN OPINION IS ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD LOVER first before passing judgement? How does it concern her? Why is she making the decision of not telling the op? Is she even related to chioma? Shouldn't that be for chioma to decide? How do you know chioma is not looking for Ikechukwu as well? Is she God?
She may not even have any information sef, just trying her best to make the op as miserable as possible. Because he mentioned wealth and USA? Are you people happy with poverty?

Abeg spirit1, you brought this problem to the wrong place, its mostly gloaters and bitter people that populate here, please take the little information you have gotten from the few good advices and move on. By God's grace you shall find succour. Its not a crime to be rich or be from the USA. Ask them if many of them are not fasting and praying to be where you are.

I know many of you will attack me after this post. I don't give a flying Bleep. Immature rubbish bunch of people who would rather watch the man burn to death than raise a hand to help him because he mentioned money. Nonsense!

RiloKiley:


Civic duty, lol, who is paying you for it?
You think you have made sense by all these words you typed? Where has he specifically mentioned he deserved any award? Where has he shown pride? Because he mentioned money, you don't like money? You wanted him to be poverty stricken? He even admitted his family was at fault and nobody is above mistake, what is you people's problem really

Yes, my comment was tactful. It was a generalized statement to pass a point across without accusing anyone in particular. Enough leeway to let those guilty of attacking the op unnecessarily read and move on without feeling personally affronted. Your quoting me specifically shows you are one of the bitter people sticking their nose in too deep for something that doesn't concern you in any way.




This is the original op's comment.
At first bolded, he starts by greeting you all in a respective manner. He talks about the prowess of nairalanders in helping to solve problems and his hope that his need will be met. How much more polite can you get?

At second bolded, he states the problem clearly. I guess because he mentioned his brother was successful and in the USA while the supposed girlfriend came from a poor family immediately a lot of you became jealous and judgmental (Yes, JEALOUS! You wont admit it but that was your first feeling!)! Should he hide his status again? He is trying to say he can now take good care of the boy if perchance they are still in an abject state of poverty BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WAY HE LEFT THEM. He has not done anything wrong by being successful and he definitely does not sound proud at this point.

At third bolded, Pleadings, apologies, explanations and more pleadings. He mentions money again, something that is apparently wrong to mention on this forum, and a lot of JEALOUSY flares up again. What has he said wrong? He even said he wants to compensate her ALTHOUGH HE KNOWS NO AMOUNT CAN PAY FOR WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO HER. How do you want him to say it again? Someone is saying he should stop mentioning money, he should stop mentioning money as if "money" is biting him/her!

I dare you to recompose his op to be more acceptable to the general public.

You people just like having the power to judge and execute. It pleases you to see the 'american big boy' in so much pains because he cannot get to his son. Some are shouting karma as if they haven't done a bad thing in their life. Someone is even wishing him impotency! Thank God the op said his brother has two sons else you all would have been throwing a party at his misfortune! Painting yourselves as saints and pointing fingers at the op who has been amazingly polite and agreeing that yes his brother was at fault, taking all sorts of insults with humility just so he can get the help he wants. I guess that's what massages your egos.
Was his brother the one that threw the girl away? Was it not the sister? Even if it was him can he not be allowed to repent and reunite with his son? Even if his family abandoned her hasn't the op said severally that the fault was theirs and they are willing to correct their mistake?

No empathy at all! You blame the government for everything when you cannot even show pity on yourselves!

One poster is even angry on Chioma's behalf?! Has she asked the Chioma whether she is angry? If she has vital information to the finding of this woman and her son, isn't the normal thing to do to ask chioma WHAT HER OWN OPINION IS ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD LOVER first before passing judgement? How does it concern her? Why is she making the decision of not telling the op? Is she even related to chioma? Shouldn't that be for chioma to decide? How do you know chioma is not looking for Ikechukwu as well? Is she God?
She may not even have any information sef, just trying her best to make the op as miserable as possible. Because he mentioned wealth and USA? Are you people happy with poverty?

Abeg spirit1, you brought this problem to the wrong place, its mostly gloaters and bitter people that populate here, please take the little information you have gotten from the few good advices and move on. By God's grace you shall find succour. Its not a crime to be rich or be from the USA. Ask them if many of them are not fasting and praying to be where you are.

I know many of you will attack me after this post. I don't give a flying Bleep. Immature rubbish bunch of people who would rather watch the man burn to death than raise a hand to help him because he mentioned money. Nonsense!

Now if only you could put that brilliant analytical mind to helping the op achieve his end.
Well said, ultimately the past can't be changed but the future can and I hope this story has a good ending for all those involved.

RiloKiley:


Civic duty, lol, who is paying you for it?
You think you have made sense by all these words you typed? Where has he specifically mentioned he deserved any award? Where has he shown pride? Because he mentioned money, you don't like money? You wanted him to be poverty stricken? He even admitted his family was at fault and nobody is above mistake, what is you people's problem really

Yes, my comment was tactful. It was a generalized statement to pass a point across without accusing anyone in particular. Enough leeway to let those guilty of attacking the op unnecessarily read and move on without feeling personally affronted. Your quoting me specifically shows you are one of the bitter people sticking their nose in too deep for something that doesn't concern you in any way.

Now i know, you are just one of those greedy Nigerians who think everything is about money . . . That's why you think one needs to be PAID to carry out a civic responsibility. I love money, but money is nothing compared to people's respect and dignity. I know this concept is quite difficult for an average Nigerian to grasp, but it's the plain truth.

Whether he's rich of 'stricken by poverty' is irrelevant. What is degrading is his dismissive nature and his assumption that he will be doing Chioma and her son a favor by finding them. He forgot that that boy is an Adult now and doesn't NEED his father's approval anymore. Wherever he is, he has a life and there's no guarantee that the offer of USA will even mean squat to him.

So why not just keep that aside and crave forgiveness instead He acknowledged he made a MISTAKE and people who make mistakes often BEG for forgiveness. Not dangle incentives to those they've wronged and act like they are doing them a favor. His attitude is offensive to people's sensibilities, hence the outrage.

And in-case you don't know, a lot of people calling the OP to order are doing waaay better than his supposed 'rich' brother. So no, we are not impressed with his 'achievement' and I really really hope Chioma and her son won't be either. Whoever they are, I hope fortune have smiled on them . . . . God knows they deserve it.

and No,you were not being tactful. You were being bitter and critical . . . . .

Rilokiley is vexing, Bros don't let such bother you pls.

I have observed that a lot of Family nairalanders actually don't know how to advise, express displeasure, correct an opinion, educate or even post a superior arguement without snide comments or direct/subtle insults and I just wonder.

I have seen this happen several times, just yesterday I saw one of such threads.


If someone comes to post emotional issues and you make the mistake of mentioning finances you begin to read comments like "oya drop acc no"," he will soon ask for money" etc and the person has not even asked at least let him ask first.


Its really terrible, I really don't understand why people feel they must sound condescending to state an opinion.