₦airaland Forum

....

Bitches be preaching forgiveness now.....

Funny people !

Op..biko give her the silent treatment for as long as you can. Her brain go reset fast fast...

Divorce wont help! You dont know what the next is gon b like.

Too late to send her home, she is already in the land where women Lord it over men. Just find a way to vent ur anger and settle with her.

OP

I'm so sorry for you. However, having dissected your story, I stand bold to say that your prejudice contributed to the ensued fracas.

She deserves to be sent back. Let her go and learn manners where she came from!

Spat on you?
Don't beat her up. It's not wise.
Wow, she messed up.
Maybe you should send her home to her parents for a while, so she can learn her lessons hard.
Sorry.

Spits on you? I Can't deal mehn! You need to do something that will shock her, I mean really shock her. Jezz

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Send her back home if u can to teach her a lession. She needs to know who the boss is. This is one big reason am scared of taking my family abroad before they will
start growing some unnecessary wings in the name of "Laws protecting them"...U need to be in charge at all times abeg.

By reading the tori eh,to slap her dey ungri me..

Op you've keep your cool.. that's so humane

>reprimand her..

send her back home now ...

>you love her,don't stop loving her..

stop the rapidity she's turning to..keep a distance from her for a while. And focus on your work.

>she's been a cheat once.might still be

.take your time to know why the marriage has such leak.. from you or her.. you love her ,,she might not.. spitting on a person face is a genuine sign of pure hatred..

> Don't be too soft to make a hard choice now...
Its either you break the jinx right now or face it forever..

don't even know what to say right now
but...prayer will do a whole lot

Hahahahhahahhahhahaha....

DTRUMPER:
Well pray about it, God will send you a comforter

Can't this God just do his job without all the praying drama? does he not know what to do?
Must he wait till people bring their problems to Nairaland before doing the right thing?

Behira:
Forgive

no disrespect or insult meant, but I think you are mad

OP, you don't forgive someone who is not penitent. That woman hates you from her soul. Spitting on another human is the most despicable act on such being.

I suggest you give her between now and tomorrow morning to apologise. If she does, you may decide to handle it under your roof. If she doesn't apologise, kindly send her back to Nigeria for her parents to complete the home-training from where they stopped.

Whatever you do, think well. If she apologies and you can still find a single reason to love her, pls forgive her. If not, ship her to Naija let her come and plant rice.

If you guys don't have kids yet send her packing. Cos i am sure she will push you to hit her someday and you may be arrested and jailed.

Tell her you are calling the marriage off and see her reaction.

Please be carefull.

@OP
nameerfhtennek:

I must start by congratulating your maturity and calmness in handling this matter up to this point.

However, some facts garnered from the story (your side of the coin) suggests :
1.Your woman never had absolute trust on you hence she broke up with you and entered another relationship

2. You have been having issues with her for a year now which suggests built up aggression which has not been fully resolved.

3.Both of you are yet to understand yourselves which is impacting on your compatibility.

4.I see a situation where none of you listens to each other's needs culminating into latent anger. Any minute provocation revives the same anger and trouble breeds from there.

MY ADVISE :

1. You need to address the trust issue in your marriage. Does your wife have absolute confidence that you are always there for her? You are the head of your home, you would set the tone of what your home should be and vigorously pursue an all inclusive policy.
The lack of trust made her to doubt the veracity of your explanation about forgetting the internet gadget in your office.

2. Find out your wife's pains. It is not all about you. She might be struggling alone, without you noticing her pains. Open up for her to empty herself in you. Then she would have the inner peace which would translate to yours as well.

3. Do not send her packing at all. Bring her closer and forgive her with a very stern warning that she won't be so lucky next time such occurs. Build a bond with her.
No marriage is perfect, it's a whole lot of work from both of you to make it succeed.
However you are the head, walking into the life of another woman might not be the best option for you because you wouldn't know the content of the next woman's character.

Putting all together, he who is forgiven more loves more, as declared by the Greatest Teacher Himself.

It is well.

Read this:
http://www.richardpaulevans.com/index.php/2015/02/09/saved-marriage/

Bro just end that marriage!! If she is expecting a reaction from you and doing things to deliberately trigger you, one day you might kill that woman.

Trust me she no longer respects you, go look for another Wife!!!

sllay:
Dyslexic, poop-faced raccoon! You type like you're tipsy - very uncoordinated.

What? You're drunk sitting on a sidewalk bragging to your friends how you beat your sisters and mother hours ago for not serving you dinner quickly enough? Continuing your dad's legacy, right?

Attaboy! May you be gang-raped by mad women so you'd learn respect.

Well...This escalated rather quickly.

Honestly I don't know what to advise, other than the fact that most Nigerian women likes creating a mountain out of a very small Hill. n it's always ruin their relationship/marriage.
They ll b d one to fire the first shot and still play the victim.

She loves you but you don't seem to have time for her. She's lonely and craves your attention. You can't have a woman in the house and when you come back from work you're playing game. Haba! She had the remote in her pants to get you to touch her. You never de understand?

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Grab some really essential things and go lay low somewhere.

She should come looking for you, if she doesn't, catapult her back home till she's ready to be married.

If she comes, you guys would have to fashion out a system that works for you two.

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Nah from clap e dey enter dance. From spit, next slap, next punch then knife....................

First five years of marriage are the toughest. It will get better with time. Seat her down and talk some sense into her. Thanks for the maturity so far. Ask her what her expectations are in the marriage. Ask her loads of stuffs. Don't forget to ask if she wants the marriage or not. Take care.

people that spit in other people's face are capable of committing murder. It's gross wickedness,,, I would reset her destiny with blows if a woman does that to me. Oya were ni

very mature response. this is the first time i will post a comment on a topic since 5 years i joined nl. my brother , you need to be very patient, women can be very tempting, its a general issue i have with them till date. God bless you

Swissheart:
Awww.... ....so sorry
I really have to commend the fact that you have taken full charge of your temper,without holding back words you are a responsible and loving man. There is a limit,you have shown to be aware of this. Your wife has character issues. As it appears,she won't change easily. A year into marriage is too early to have numerous records of quarrels. My only fear is her been always prepared for a fight. Who is always set for a fight with hubby if not a foolish woman? Your happiness is paramount, if she offers anything less than comfort and peace, how she should return becomes the solution. However before doing this, find a good forum to express your mind,your worries,fear and the option of getting her back. Remember consolidation comes before confrontation. Don't stop loving your wife. Forgive her hurting words and don't stop praying for peace. God bless you

Swissheart:
Awww.... ....so sorry
I really have to commend the fact that you have taken full charge of your temper,without holding back words you are a responsible and loving man. There is a limit,you have shown to be aware of this. Your wife has character issues. As it appears,she won't change easily. A year into marriage is too early to have numerous records of quarrels. My only fear is her been always prepared for a fight. Who is always set for a fight with hubby if not a foolish woman? Your happiness is paramount, if she offers anything less than comfort and peace, how she should return becomes the solution. However before doing this, find a good forum to express your mind,your worries,fear and the option of getting her back. Remember consolidation comes before confrontation. Don't stop loving your wife. Forgive her hurting words and don't stop praying for peace. God bless you

I'm so impressed! Bless you.

Spat at you!! What kind of village woman is that? After only one year of marriage she's reacting like this, over a router? This woman has a terrible character. Better you consider other options now before you start having children. I doubt if she was properly raised.