₦airaland Forum

In our contemporary world, moving in with someone you're not married to is a common spectacle, and its often ladies moving in with guys, it has its advantages which includes shelter, feeding, the opportunity to know each other better and show you how you guys can live (if) he pops the question, but that's not the motive behind such a huge step most times, You hear statements like
"It’s crazy to marry someone without living with them first. You need to test out the relationship!”

Yes, You're inlove and all, and theres no doubt in your heart, but before following your heart, take a step back and ask yourself Those crucial questions to avoid becoming a shacking up statistic.

1. Why Are We Moving In Together?
2. Do You Want Children?
3. How Are We Handling the Financial Obligations?
4. Where can this possibly lead, marriage? Or breakup
5. What Happens If We Break Up?
6. If he's so eager to have me, why don't he just put the ring on it
7. How long will your biological clock permit you to stay with him, before it becomes a do or die affair

When you do, you'll realize that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, living together before marriage has alot of pitfalls.
Below are reasons why I believe living together is a bad choice if a woman wants to marry.

1. Men and women have very different ideas about what living together mean,
women typically see it as an almost inevitable step toward marriage, while men see it as a no-obligation "test drive." Couples who initiate a live-in relationship under the fog of such contradictory assumptions are already in trouble.

2. You've heard the old expression, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
It's an ugly phrase, but there's some truth to the message. Living together results in regular, no-strings sex for a man, thus removing the sexual motivation that is part of a marriage proposal. And don't worry about his proposing just to bed you, there are too many sexually available women out there for a man to propose marriage just for sexual release.

3. Living together makes you look cheap and easily acquired
why would he struggle to get you when you offered yourself on a platter of gold, theres always the younger ones whos hard to get, those ones are treasured, and when he's ready to marry, he'll go and have his pick of those ones he hasn't tasted.

4. There is no interest on taking things to the next level,
“If you want to marry him, don’t even think about moving in. He’ll have no reason to propose!”
moving in removes much of a man's motivation to make the formal commitment of marriage within a reasonable time, soon you run out of patience and its marry me or its over either way you'll loose, because you cant coerce someone into marrying you, you'll look desperate and if your partner calls your bluff, its your loss as well.

5. Living together is not a reliable way to predict long-term compatibility or marital success
In fact, couples who live together before marriage divorce at higher rates. There are other ways to set yourself up for a happy, healthy marriage. Serious dating allows two people to get to know each other as loving friends and determine whether they have a reasonable chance of being a faithful, respectful and cooperative couple with shared values and vision.
Spending time at a boyfriend or girlfriend's house will reveal many personal habits and quirks, while a practical pre-marital class that teaches communication, interpersonal and life skills can give couples the tools they need to help avoid common problems and resolve those conflicts that will invariably arise.

6. Alot of things that might happen if you move in
Getting pregnant, probably aborting it, or becoming a baby mama, very few people who had babies outside marriage ends up married, and if he doesn't get married to you, the child will pass through alot growing up without both parents,
This is important, since children who are raised by both biological parents in a low-conflict home are more likely to be emotionally and psychologically healthy than children whose parents are cohabiting or divorced. They are less likely to experience mental health or behavioral problems, or live in poverty.

7. Living together takes the excitement out of being newlywed
all the anticipation, excitement and curiosity, about how living together as couples will be, what he likes and dont etc, will vanish because you're already married before you could tie the knot.

This made sense

Ur no 2 nd 7 is on point

All true but unfortunately this century women don't do this shiit.

Dumb once do.

I no fit talk....this one heavy pass me

mhisbliss:
right now I'm looking at a lady whos living together with her boyfriend shes my source of inspiration

Then she's dumb.
"Had i known", will be her case later.

mhisbliss:
lol i dont wish her that though, from the way shes cooking and cleaning like her life depends on it maybe the guy will marry her soon

Is the worse mistake any woman could make, when he dumps her you will hear things like "After all i did for you", "After all we suffered together", Blah! Blah!! Blah!!!.

SlaughterGang:
So what's your point, They should get married only for the man to realize he has made the biggest mistake of his life 2 months in?

You must be a teenager...once again Horse crap

"compatibility" is not tested by moving in with a man, we are suppose to be married with the bed undefiled, moving in already gives room for that.

You can test how compatible you are from mere assessment, just know who you're planning to marry enough.

herbie27:
Then she's dumb.
"Had i known", will be her case later.

everything said might be right but you don't have the right to call someone this name. Who told you she is dumb? Many that did not take the risk she is taking are not even guaranteed they have him to themselves. Yet, we have seen many her action worked for and you can never tell if it will work for her, everything in life is risk and probability, it is wrong to call someone dumb because of their decision when it comes to relationship.

K

madam,,,,Just here to read the points

You are stating the obvious na, i mean which guy/girl aspiring to succeed and secure a good future for himself does this, unless except his or her priority has been misplaced.