Mamatam:
Did I mention that this Mrs B who had so much cravings for nigerian food could not bring ordinary ......

Sorry madam for all the excesses your host displayed towards your family. Don't stop being a blessing to others because of her. God will reward you for your good deeds.

slimwendy85:
@ modath, it's OK.... Just don't think it's worth letting anyone vex u on a faceless thread. You would have made more impact by jumping and passing, aka totally ignoring the comment., after all your target was getting lady g to help out n not worry359. Is all good....

Don't mind me ojare, na cos a don dey vex before... I'm resilient but thick skin sometimes dey pierce.. I'm artful in dodging unnecessary drama, the ones in politics head kolo pass Yaba left & I dey waka pass...

It's all good, apologies for my shade... do have a nice day.... ciao.

sayoberry:
I came to mark register o.
present

Na you be dis? e yaff tey gan... Awon ibeji nko? Idowu cooking?

[quote author=Abioolly post=50850340]If I must say if am to have my baby again in the US.. I will neva say with any relative or friend.. I had a terrible experience with my own aunt...

Thanks God for showing up in good time through those neighbors. Your aunt was so unfair however please forgive her and accept the incidence as God's lessons to show that our trust should always be absolutely in him because man disappoint.

Please I need help. My wife travelled to the US with my one year+ son for visit on a b1b2 visa, but while they were there, my son fell I'll and was taken to the hospital. I was advised by an immigration lawyer to apply for mass health or medicare for him cos of the bills. But I am scared of the implication. Please can someone with knowledge advice on the implication. Thanks

Akorkor this host issue you started is a good one actually i'm lad people are finally pouring out their minds, now just like the thread on bellanaija too we have arguments for and against

Mamatam some people are just witches they are there to upset for no just reason, i'm glad you were patient to a fault so if your hubby sent them all out high five for him they deserved it, as much as this incidence as i'll refer to it will impair your attitude towards accommodating people in the future which is normal, don't let it stop your good deeds of taking people in at your discretion but please if they do anyhow don't let it reach this extent before you send them packing.
I have no chills at all and I can't tolerate everything the lady did to the extent of Bringing her mum, my own belief is when you're in someone's house behave like you're in your house, cook, load the washing machine & dishwasher, clean, don't let your host feel like you're a burden. Infact if you do well your host will be the one to invite you again next time that when will you show face again, the woman funny sha she wan chop naija food she no Bring Ordinary Maggi knorr, issorit!

modath:

Chloe7,

Y'all know I don't take myself so seriously & love love love humour, especially in the right situation... Worry backtracked, it was shade but i didn't need an umbrella.

Slimwendy85 ,

Thanks for your concern but you are over reaching...

I didn't miss worry's intent... The respondent to my post was trying to be clever by half and i saw through the ruse... I may no longer be a regular on this thread but i know how this ish go down, There was no humor there, s/he implied i wanted to impose on LadyG's willingness to assist cos i didn't want to put in the work the thread (s) required & that is obvious to any mumu sef..

So telling me to reread a post where someone asked "Lady G to respond" cos she's being PAID to do it has zero positivity. .. S/he probably doesn't know I was really active on this thread and just thought to have a laugh at my expense....That i had to check & i have no apologies ma'am..

Thanks once again..

Cc Firsttymum , Nita2013 , ozycy ,Kaylaychi , Popri nefertitiram , LadyGuinivere

and posts were raptured... i'm crying here...

must everyone see d humour in a post? not to take sides but u guys have to understand how madam A will read and understand a post is different from how madam B will do. plus that madam X concluded a certain post is a joke doesnt mean d poster meant for it to be a joke.

on this note lemme sip my tea

FabioRomani:
Please I need help. My wife travelled to the US with my one year+ son for visit on a b1b2 visa, but while they were there, my son fell I'll and was taken to the hospital. I was advised by an immigration lawyer to apply for mass health or medicare for him cos of the bills. But I am scared of the implication. Please can someone with knowledge advice on the implication. Thanks

let ur wife tell them shes self pay... disscuss discounts and work out a payment plan.
taking issurance of any kind isnt in ur visa ''jurisdiction''

Abioolly:
If I must say if am to have my baby again in the US.. I will neva say with any relative or friend.. I had a terrible experience with my own aunt..

wow... just wow.. i am totally speechless

Hmmmm, I had terrible experiences the last time I travelled to have my baby in US, I was actually staying in an hotel paying $1000 but cos I needed company I was introduced to a woman who said I should pay her $500 to stay with her.I accepted,i packed my things and headed to her place,the first day I got there and entered her toilet it was so messed up that I had to rush down to Walmart to get some disinfectants cos I couldn't find any in the toilet to clean up the place.I had to wash the whole place cos it looks like a toilet that had been abandoned for long,i had to sweep her sitting room cos it so dirty too, the room I was given to stay was already filled up with lot of loads so it's only the bed that was available to sleep on.
I was only concern about the hygiene of the place cos of my son(i travelled down with my son).So many times she'll messed up the kitchen in d night I'll wake very early to clean up Infact she did this so many times and she will never pick a broom to sweep even for days if I don't.
She doesn't feed me, I buy my groceries myself Infact so many times I stays in the bedroom cos she doesn't like seeing my son around her,cos my son was hyperactive then she will shouting that my son want to spoil her appliances.Anytime I washes she will off either the washing machine or the drier before I'm done it was so frustrating,when it was approaching to have my baby I told her that my husband will be coming she said I will have to add $200 to my bill making $700.My story is so long that I will continue later.

XX01:


I am the one that mentioned about sweeping the floor but I think you misunderstood me. I meant it should not be burdensome as well. If the person is in pain, just understand with the person. Not turning it into a compulsory job. That I am giving you free accommodation means you must wash all the bathrooms and clean the house everyday. So if the person doesn't do it for a few days does not make the person a bad guest.

If that is what you meant then I agree.

[quote author=enidot post=50853037]Issues! had a similar situation with SIL convinced DH totally about Medicaid even called and process it. One midnyt I just wake dh that I will never forgive him if the medicaid was issued as we have sufficient cash on us. DH called his colleagues back in his office to enquire and they told him all effect afterwards. Sharply he told his sis that we settle all bills. SIL then decided that we go to their public health and register, funny enuf Daville VA is a low cost living city where the cost of everything is almost 60-70 percent lower than normal. Some test are conducted free (the ones conducted ryt inside the hospital) while the rest are just too cheap below our estimated quote from Henrico dr hopital. The moment I told them I'm paying ryt away they give ridiculous discount sharp sharp and issue receipts on the spot. Anyone coming in to south Virginia shouldn't compromise just register straight with Daville Regional Medical Center. Good services at negotiable rates.


Nice one! Give details of the bill to help a sister or send it email for more clarifications since pm is falling hand. Someone is very interested and need's guide.

Chai, on this host matter, I shake my head.

I can't deal mehn.

some women are iron... while pregnant they are strong.
its not same for everyone.


i am a lazy pregnant woman.. i can cook and do surface cleaning... use stick broom or brush... but i wont bend except to carry my son...

and please not everyone is also buoyant enough to afford an accommodation.. haba... some women here are just struggling to ensure d child has d blue passport... she has a friend or family abroad who can help... please for Christ sake why make dem a slave? wont u eat if shes not there, wont u clean and all that?

dont get me wrong, somepeople abuse it. both host and guest.
+but some people genuinely cant afford to rent an accommodation. and if such a person stays with u, she can only assist financially in d very little way she can.

are there not people who can afford an accommodation and family will insist she comes over? and when she gets there its something else. to move out and rent for sanity sake is a problem.. to remain there is even more problem.

some hosts are just devils incarnate same thing with some guests too.

thats why i said its not one size fits all. u had it good doesnt mean other people did, and because u were assisting and being generous doesnt meant same measure worked for another..
is there not a woman here who was being nice and buying groceries and the host was angry and said she felt insulted.. yet they wont buy what she needs or cook what she likes and when she does they'll say she shldnt . and when she wanted to move out dey refused too.

mamas on a serious note

save urself the stress, enjoy freedom and get a place to stay.
if u genuinely cant afford a place, pair.. u can get an airbed and share a one bedroom...
plan early and scout for a partner.
if u have to stay with a family.. ensure its a close relative .. not someone u or ur husband remembered simply because u need help.

ensure u have gotten ur hospital.. so ur host doesnt impose a hospital on u. if possible make ur host feel that u have paid some money for the hospital.
they have given u accommodation.. consciously learn not to ask for anything... i know some women are naturally begi begi.. but u have to drop that in naija.

most importantly let them see u r prepared and independent.

UNFORTUNATELY THIS CANT EVEN WORK FOR EVERYONE... ESPECIALLY THE ''BAD'' HOST VS GUEST

[quote author=Mamatam post=50850714][/quote]

ur patience level is really high...

Good day aus,

Please can anyone direct on how to use the search function to search for information on New york hospitals. so i can easily search through part 1-5. Its for a friend. She is too ill to do this herself. The pregnancy dey worry am no be small.

I am a former houston mama so my knowlegde on NY is non existent.

Thanks

firsttymum:

let ur wife tell them shes self pay... disscuss discounts and work out a payment plan.
taking issurance of any kind isnt in ur visa ''jurisdiction''

Thanks a lot. But we plan to pay for our bills installment ally. However, my wife plans to visit again to give birth by February. Am scared that this will affect us. Please advice. Thanks a lot

My son was enrolled in a day care so he won't be bored, my landlady said I should be giving her the school fees that she will help me take care of my son cos she was once a daycare teacher, that was the only time I noticed she was friendly with my son though I didn't accept her offer.I was actually passing through all that even more that I can't remember again.There is a particular day she prepared bean cake and as a pregnant woman I didn't feel like eating any food that I Prepared so she asked me to share with her I took 2 she persuaded me to take more which I did taking 2 more not knowing she didn't release it from heart.After some day one of her friends that I have been relating with called me and said my landlady told her that she prepared bean cake and all because she invited me to join her

That I finished the whole bean cake,i cried that day and decided to go back to the hotel. The friend became closer to me not knowing that She's more worst,she will borrow money from me and pretend as if she forgot buy things in my groceries and pretend it's a mistake and. Pick it once I pay. It's so long I can't finish it cos I'm not good in long post

@mamatam your patience level is legendary

@abiolly pele ku oro omo your aunt will meet her own in front

Because of this host vs guest mata,I had to compose and send a nice text to my BIL who I stayed with for 5 months on my first missionary journey .the guy never experrit it he replied and said you made my day.
But I always take it upon myself to clean up after myself when leaving to the extent of washing the beddings/toilet etc,when I receive packages I flatten the boxes and take it out on trash day even his wife had to say,it's a man job to do that but I know it's my mess abi.
On 2nd missionary journey,I called him and explain myself that I don't want to stress him because am coming with my mum,having 2 babies,hubby and 2 kids are coming days before delivery i.e 5pple and 2 babies(imagine the effect on water,electricity,gas and pocket,on a good day you come home from work to a kid that's not yours making noise all over the place when all you want is to remove your shoes and belt,have a glass of wine in one hand and the remote in the other )
that based on my budget am going to another state but will stop over and say hello.
In other news,the airbnb apartment I stayed in LA that I handed over to a preggie that we met through the Dr office was gbagaun.The babe said the landlady only refunded half of her deposit,I was like for what na I now called the landlady,her reply was those women are filthy,I had to pay my cleaner double for the mess they made,but when you left,my apartment was clean I only change the bath mat and beddings,not even a single paper under the bed.call me anytime you are coming to LA you will stay in my house.
My point is let's be good to one another and ask ourselves if it's me will I take/accept this behaviour from someone else.
Cheers everyone.

Bisoye82

Your post made me log in, clearly the person coming after you didn't think she should clean up because she was paying for rental.

The real issue is expectations on both host and guest.
If either party doesn't clearly state their expectations for this extended stay then accusations of abuse will arise. Don't presume..it makes life easier.

We all differ in what we can tolerate and in our hygiene level. Saying ppl should treat other peoples homes as your own...hmmm. Some ppl in their own homes dont clean up after themselves,drop dishes unwashed in the sink. It maybe that the way they grew up its the younger one that cleans up after the older regardless of who is the host.

Being good friends or part of the same family doesn't mean you can live together comfortably for extended periods. The way each person lives differs. Some are messy and have no issues with it others are neat freaks and cant concentrate till the house is clean.

@Firsttymum,
pl

Please in case of subsequent times, since b1b2 visas do not cover any insurance, how do we manage a situation whereby one travels with an infant for like 3months and during the period the child falls Ill? Cos my wife land to travel again next year for about 3 months and am scared of experiencing such. Please ur advice will be most appreciated.

FabioRomani:
@Firsttymum,
pl

Please in case of subsequent times, since b1b2 visas do not cover any insurance, how do we manage a situation whereby one travels with an infant for like 3months and during the period the child falls Ill? Cos my wife land to travel again next year for about 3 months and am scared of experiencing such. Please ur advice will be most appreciated.

does she already have a visa? Or she has to apply

chloe7:
Akorkor this host issue you started is a good one actually i'm lad people are finally pouring out their minds, now just like the thread on bellanaija too we have arguments for and against

Mamatam some people are just witches they are there to upset for no just reason, i'm glad you were patient to a fault so if your hubby sent them all out high five for him they deserved it, as much as this incidence as i'll refer to it will impair your attitude towards accommodating people in the future which is normal, don't let it stop your good deeds of taking people in at your discretion but please if they do anyhow don't let it reach this extent before you send them packing.
I have no chills at all and I can't tolerate everything the lady did to the extent of Bringing her mum, my own belief is when you're in someone's house behave like you're in your house, cook, load the washing machine & dishwasher, clean, don't let your host feel like you're a burden. Infact if you do well your host will be the one to invite you again next time that when will you show face again, the woman funny sha she wan chop naija food she no Bring Ordinary Maggi knorr, issorit!

Odikwa Egwu!, She even have a good Humour to have tolerated her that much. How can someone accommodate u in His/her house for child birth,only for u to bring in your pregnant friend also and your mum as well,. I wonder how some people reason sometimes. This is even enough reason to throw her out of His/her house,Apart from the fact that she is not helping in doing other house jobs.

Hello house, how long does it take typically to receive a response for the declaration of intent letter sent to the embassy?

Received an automated response with frequently asked questions but not the generic response I have seen on the thread.

Response will be highly appreciated. Oshey

Hello House! Sorry I have been MIA and had a bit of catching up to do. Thanks to everyone who responded on my previous post. This Host/Guest matter, God will help us. All pregnant women abi women sef should please know that body no be wood, we should take care of ourselves well. Don't say I can do it and now mess up your body cos you want to please anyone.
I have been on bed rest for some days now, and truth is- since I had my first baby I have been unable to do most of the things I used to previously. I am an Engineer, The nature of my job involves climbing ladders. During my first pregnancy, I did it till I was 7 months and traveled to have my baby. I just cant stand having some guy wasting my time, I will do it myself. I hardly eat what someone else cooks, i wash my clothes. In Florida, I spent most of my time on my feet and had to run on several occasions to catch up with my host. Mind you, I carried a spitting can for 11 months oh, which they said was disgusting, yet they made me cook their meals.

She will scream at me as if I am a baby, when I got a phone line online without her knowledge, she was angry cos she expected me to use her house line so she could pick d extension. MIL told me not to call any of my family members in d US to come check me oh, so SIL doesn't get angry...all sorts of unspeakable things. I really dint want to be a burden to her and tried as much as possible to pull my weight, which I really did. She wants me back now, who no like jackie?

If I were a burden to her, she wouldn't be virtually begging for me to come back,plus she can get this baby's papers too. I will birth my baby in Naija if that is the only option I have oh, I have told DH. After I had my first baby,my legs will just swell up for no reason and a lot of other health problems. I intend to enjoy this coming missionary journey.

It's better to plan ahead, and find people that you can share with if u cant afford accommodation. God bless our hustle, It will not be in vain.

100shades:
Hello house, how long does it take typically to receive a response for the declaration of intent letter sent to the embassy?

Received an automated response with frequently asked questions but not the generic response I have seen on the thread.

Response will be highly appreciated. Oshey

My first time it was within 24 hrs.... This time it took 3 working days

Mumcdab wow... My dear find someone to pair with or better still get a one bedroom apartment. I got a one bedroom apartment to myself on airbnb for same price or even less than what I was seeing for a two bedroom I was to share...
Cos even sharing u have to look out for two bedroom two bathroom apartment incase u r obsessed with clean bathroom like me.

Even pairing keep money safe o... There are some gummy finger pregnant women.... Plus beg beg ones too sef dey... Etc... I think Part 1 had plenty Gist like this... This journey en.. Hmmmm it is well.

At least u can sit d pregnant woman down nd u guys lay rules or talk to your selves... No one is doing anyone a favor.. Unlike when you are staying with someone else

firsttymum:


ur patience level is really high...

@ modath, chloe7, bisoye and others. I understand what pregnancy is and how our hormones wotks differently. No body is going to tell a pregnant woman to clear thr garden or do heavy stuffs. My point is the little little stuffs lik clearing the dinner table after eating, bringing out the trash in the bathroom, putting used plates in d washer, I mean these are very basic things and infact the least of things any guest can do. My point is we should learn to be considerate. I never had a problem with her bringing another friend or her Mom but it was d way they now dominated my home without any respect that bothered me. Having said all that, I really like this thread and I pray God bless y'all in your determination to give ur kids the best. Will go back to my very silent mode...... all the best

@firsttymum, Thank you. Sent mine on Thursday and still no response. Should I be worried?

A middle ground is to spend pre-delivery period in private accommodation, and then move to family accommodation post birth when you need support and more space etc.

That way you don't overburden your guest (max spend 1 month) and you also retain your own dignity.