₦airaland Forum

They think I'm proud and arrogant because I'm too calm and I hardly talk. My choice of music is odd, I love Rock and other unfamiliar songs so they assume I'm weird.

I love my company the most making it unnecessary for me to mingle. I wish to be alone most times because when I listen to people talk I realize that mentally and psychologically we're miles apart and with that they conclude that I'm a snub.

Dating is even worse, most people don't know me. I only show them what I want them to see and then they say that I'm too deep without them trying to even scratch the surface.

I've come to realize that by being quiet I tend to know people more than they know themselves. most times I feel like exploring the wonders of the world all by myself soaking up the excitement alone. Odd I guess some people will say, when it can be shared.

Am I too deep? I love being independent too having my own not relying on anyone except God. At times I question my duration on earth, do I want to get married? do I want to have kids before I leave here?

jaci02:
They think I'm proud and arrogant because I'm too calm and I hardly talk. My choice of music is odd, I love Rock and other unfamiliar songs so they assume I'm weird.

I love my company the most making it unnecessary for me to mingle. I wish to be alone most times because when I listen to people talk I realize that mentally and psychologically we're miles apart and with that they conclude that I'm a snub.

Dating is even worse, most people don't know me. I only show them what I want them to see and then they say that I'm too deep without them trying to even scratch the surface.

I've come to realize that by being quiet I tend to know people more than they know themselves. most times I feel like exploring the wonders of the world all by myself soaking up the excitement alone. Odd I guess some people will say, when it can be shared.

Am I too deep? I love being independent too having my own not relying on anyone except God. At times I question my duration on earth, do I want to get married? do I want to have kids before I leave here?

I can relate with all you've said. Nothing bad in being reserved. However, have in mind that no man is an Island. I don't think just passing through this world without making your mark is what you really want.
Sometimes, it's okay to just step out of your comfort zone.

Geofavor:
I can relate with all you've said. Nothing bad in being reserved. However, have in mind that no man is an Island. I don't think just passing through this world without making your mark is what you really want.
Sometimes, it's okay to just step out of your comfort zone.

Yes I'm reserved but I'm very good in relating with people when I choose to be. I know how to gather information from people and make them share with me their life history. I tend to allow people dominate the conversation while I probe. I've noticed that people love to be heard and listened to and I take advantage of this because I'm a very attentive and good listener. Many people want you to know them but they're not patient enough or inquisitive enough in wanting to get to know you.

Mumben:
i love ds thread. I used to be a very chronic introvert before i got married, i hardly talk, i couldnt look people in d face when talking to dem, it was dat bad. I woudnt say iv changed but iv adjusted a whole lot cos my husband is my opposite, u cant stay wt hm and not talk, its not possible. Secondly my kids re hyperactive, ther is no way ull b wt them n not talk. Sometimes i feel like locking them up in a room so i can have my peace. Its well sha

you are pretty correct ma'am, your kids are gonna bore you out, with them around, no dull moments,'mummy this..,, mummy that', that's how it goes on and on until sunset, my spouse use to be extremely intro too, but with a die hard hyperactive girl by her side,..,,she has opened uo now, though we both have the same temperament, but I better pass her small.Had to even send them on vacation to S.A. so I can gather back all my lost energy, there really sapped me dry this year..haba, na only me !!

Introverts dont have a lounge


Sexless marriage

jaci02:
Yes I'm reserved but I'm very good in relating with people when I choose to be. I know how to gather information from people and make them share with me their life history. I tend to allow people dominate the conversation while I probe. I've noticed that people love to be heard and listened to and I take advantage of this because I'm a very attentive and good listener. Many people want you to know them but they're not patient enough or inquisitive enough in wanting to get to know you.

You probably want the attention you give to be reciprocated (even if it's a bit). This is why I said, sometimes, stepping out of your comfort zone won't be a bad Idea. Your comfort zone, in this case, is you sitting calm, being the listener, gathering information, hearing them out, etc., extroverts are often ignorantly selfish in conversations. They want the talk to be about them only. They want to be the one to determine where and where the coversation goes. So, if you always play 'mr listener', you might always not get your fair share of the convo. They will dominate the chat throughout. That's not nice.

You are comfortable listening to them, but you're probably uncomfortable talking about your own interests. So, you just let them talk on. Every once in a while, you can make a conscious effort to disrupt the conversation flow and make it go your own way, no matter how incovenient this might make you feel. You'll get used to it with time. These people will also get to know you better, as they will remember some of the things you tell them.

Geofavor:
You probably want the attention you give to be reciprocated (even if it's a bit). This is why I said, sometimes, stepping out of your comfort zone won't be a bad Idea. Your comfort zone, in this case, is you sitting calm, being the listener, gathering information, hearing them out, etc., extroverts are often ignorantly selfish in conversations. They want the talk to be about them only. They want to be the one to determine where and where the coversation goes. So, if you always play 'mr listener', you might always not get your fair share of the convo. They will dominate the chat throughout. That's not nice.

You are comfortable listening to them, but you're probably uncomfortable talking about your own interests. So, you just let them talk on. Every once in a while, you can make a conscious effort to disrupt the conversation flow and make it go your own way, no matter how incovenient this might make you feel. You'll get used to it with time. These people will also get to know you better, as they will remember some of the things you tell them.

You're right in a way. Sometimes I do want people to be interested in me, my personality. Honestly, at times I desire friends and friendship and at other times I try to convince myself that I'm better off. I hate crowded places only when I'm in a church program do I accommodate the crowd. I don't like parties because I discourage unsolicited attention. I work with people everyday so I have no difficulty in communicating.

I agree I'm not so good in socialising because I hardly meet people who share the same interests with me. Shallow-minded people tend to bore me. Funny enough I come off as being hard, a bit arrogant and too serious if people were to give their opinion. But deep down inside I'm so easygoing with a beautiful mind.

People judge me before they get to know me. It's true. There are certain category of people I open up to completely: with children I'm totally me.

gidjah:
you are pretty correct ma'am, your kids are gonna bore you out, with them around, no dull moments,'mummy this..,, mummy that', that's how it goes on and on until sunset, my spouse use to be extremely intro too, but with a die hard hyperactive girl by her side,..,,she has opened uo now, though we both have the same temperament, but I better pass her small.Had to even send them on vacation to S.A. so I can gather back all my lost energy, there really sapped me dry this year..haba, na only me !!

hahaha, no be only you oh. Its amazing how family can alter someones life completely. I am a living testimony to that. Reading used to be my hobby before but now, its a diff story. Maybe God is using our kids to bring us out of our shell.

Am an introvert and am happy to be one... I love the peace of quietness... Though its been tough of late....

jaci02:
You're right in a way. Sometimes I do want people to be interested in me, my personality. Honestly, at times I desire friends and friendship and at other times I try to convince myself that I'm better off.

I totally understand this. I've been there myself. But trust me, a time will come when you'll just need someone to here you out, no matter how stupid you sound. Times will come when only a good friend will be able to help. Human connection is very important. Isolation can lead to loneliness. Loneliness can lead to depression. Depression can lead to...

I hate crowded places only when I'm in a church program do I accommodate the crowd. I don't like parties because I discourage unsolicited attention.

This is normal. But why do you discourage unsolicited attention? Does it make you uncomfortable?

I work with people everyday so I have no difficulty in communicating.

I agree I'm not so good in socialising because I hardly meet people who share the same interests with me. Shallow-minded people tend to bore me. Funny enough I come off as being hard, a bit arrogant and too serious if people were to give their opinion. But deep down inside I'm so easygoing with a beautiful mind.

You aren't looking hard enough.

People judge me before they get to know me. It's true. There are certain category of people I open up to completely: with children I'm totally me.

How do you know that? You'll be surprised that most people are often too busy thinking about their own flaws. Whatever they say to you isn't something they haven't said to thousands of others.

Yeah, children can be fun to be with. I particularly love their innocence.
But kids are, well... kids. You can Up the ante by expanding the range of the agegroup you converse with.

Peterjosh:
Am an introvert and am happy to be one... I love the peace of quietness... Though its been tough of late....

Happy Holidays!

You want to share with us the problems you've been experiencing lately as a result of your introversion?

wow, never knew dis thread existed
I can totally relate to most comments here

I remember back then in school, I always sit close to d wall...
I never asked questions in class even if I av one dahs seriously bugging me (I usually resort to Google)

I'm very bad at starting conversations buh can keep it flowing... if someone makes me their friend, they easily like me...(only on d first day) because along d line I withdraw, not from d friendship buh to my "me" spot....they start thinking they've done something wrong, whereas I'm just being me

I don't talk much about myself to pple, I feel very insecure about unnecessary publicity about my private life, even if d audience is one person, it still feels like a publicity...

I rarely wear bright colours...my few friends are extroverts...all my siblings are extroverts...they hate my kindda music, and neither do I enjoy theirs

I stay indoors a lot(dahs a sure thing for an introvert)...living with roommates in sch wasn't easy... cos I av a room to my self, being d only female child in my house(mayb dahs wat made me introverted...I dunno)

I use irony a lot during conversations... dahs my kind of humour...buh seems it gets pple annoyed

wittyt98:
on the Internet I can be a talkative nd look like a cool person but in real life I'm so quiet,shy! nd strict .I live by strict rules and regulations .I eat by following time tables. most people think I'm weird but I really don't care what people think about me for real!

I also follow timetables a lot...like for almost everything I do...I hate it wen my plans change...
I'm trying very hard to change dah sha...I'm learning spontaneity... it's hard tho

auggie340:
wow, never knew dis thread existed
I can totally relate to most comments here

I remember back then in school, I always sit close to d wall...
I never asked questions in class even if I av one dahs seriously bugging me (I usually resort to Google)

I'm very bad at starting conversations buh can keep it flowing... if someone makes me their friend, they easily like me...(only on d first day) because along d line I withdraw, not from d friendship buh to my "me" spot....they start thinking they've done something wrong, whereas I'm just being me

I don't talk much about myself to pple, I feel very insecure about unnecessary publicity about my private life, even if d audience is one person, it still feels like a publicity...

I rarely wear bright colours...my few friends are extroverts...all my siblings are extroverts...they hate my kindda music, and neither do I enjoy theirs

I stay indoors a lot(dahs a sure thing for an introvert)...living with roommates in sch wasn't easy... cos I av a room to my self, being d only female child in my house(mayb dahs wat made me introverted...I dunno)

I use irony a lot during conversations... dahs my kind of humour...buh seems it gets pple annoyed

welcome fellow! One family here

Brownhypo:
welcome fellow! One family here

yea thanks

[quote author=Divay22 post=51878353]I just have to stay alone because of space (in school) people call it weird,i call it enjoyment,i fell happy,good when am alone,i find going out boring, if am at home I can at least talk, laugh,but once I'm been forced to go out,i'll just change like no smiles anymore till am home,even if am bored, going out will be my last option sometimes I asked myself Why am i like this,why can't i come out of my hole, and just explore,up till this moment i have not been able to answer that......
Back in my 100level days, I had a roommate,i love her but seeing her around sometimes makes me angry,or sad, cos it's like somebody is disturbing me, but unfortunately she goes home every weekend,let say from Saturday to Sunday (when i have to go to church) you w'nt see me outside,A time came you w'nt even know if am inside or have travelled,it when they see me going to school,monday morning "they'll be like have you been inside,i say yea,then reply with okay....
Some even tried,to at least get me to come out,i just told them, This is ME, I prefer been alone........Among all i was a different breed........but i appear when necessary or important,even my friends ain't helping matters,on my first NO they are all gone.....


But I like it...i enjoy my company.[/quote.great you sis, was once like u way back in d university too, ....struggled to stay in the same room with bem, a very calm , sociable and very outspoken brother, but me(the owner of the 'big big things at home.). I am cool and well withdrawn...almost spoilt the relationship but thank God for uncle Adeniyi, he really hepled me got better, and thank destiny for people like Rashdat.O, they really helped me destroy those rigid shell.though from a very comfortable home and pretty brilliant, yet my humility and calmness endeared lots of people to me.But this all changed cos I was ready to improve on my relationship with people, this is were most of us intros, get it terribly wrong,'this is my habit, this is my way of life, this is me'....!!!!!what insolence!! why should you be defending your self selfishly, knowing fully well that the other person is so so hurt?? ain't that a' kind of pride', we all must ensure we wrestle to restore and keep good 'relationship with those that care about US at all cost o!

[quote author=gidjah post=52404339][/quote]Thanks for that note...
Often time i call myself selfish cos I know i one way or the other hurt people who are trying and making effort to be close to me, but 2017 i intend trying to make some changes,even if it means going against my wish,i'll do something about it.....

Thanks once again...

Divay22:
Thanks for that note...
Often time i call myself selfish cos I know i one way or the other hurt people who are trying and making effort to be close to me, but 2017 i intend trying to make some changes,even if it means going against my wish,i'll do something about it.....

Thanks once again...

welcome sis, that's the spirit, believe me, we alll(intros) go through this , but we must all try putting ourselves in the other persons shoe, Some of them honestly cares, they truEly wanna be with US, but we mosttimes hurt them pretty bad giving selfish reasons and excuses, but I have steadily grown in to loving back those who honestly show me real love and honour.we all need one another abi?

jaci02:
They think I'm proud and arrogant because I'm too calm and I hardly talk. My choice of music is odd, I love Rock and other unfamiliar songs so they assume I'm weird.

I love my company the most making it unnecessary for me to mingle. I wish to be alone most times because when I listen to people talk I realize that mentally and psychologically we're miles apart and with that they conclude that I'm a snub.

Dating is even worse, most people don't know me. I only show them what I want them to see and then they say that I'm too deep without them trying to even scratch the surface.

I've come to realize that by being quiet I tend to know people more than they know themselves. most times I feel like exploring the wonders of the world all by myself soaking up the excitement alone. Odd I guess some people will say, when it can be shared.

Am I too deep? I love being independent too having my own not relying on anyone except God. At times I question my duration on earth, do I want to get married? do I want to have kids before I leave here?

Your Third paragraph got me.....
Relationship doesn't favour me,i have tried i have forced myself,but it seems i end up hurting them,they just don't understand,i tell people what they want to hear,just to get them off my throat, but will never do it ,i can't boast of any reliable friend,i'm just too sensitive about everything.......i intend making some changes 2017,i realize it not just all about me but others,for those I love

jaci02:
They think I'm proud and arrogant because I'm too calm and I hardly talk. My choice of music is odd, I love Rock and other unfamiliar songs so they assume I'm weird.

I love my company the most making it unnecessary for me to mingle. I wish to be alone most times because when I listen to people talk I realize that mentally and psychologically we're miles apart and with that they conclude that I'm a snub.

Dating is even worse, most people don't know me. I only show them what I want them to see and then they say that I'm too deep without them trying to even scratch the surface.

I've come to realize that by being quiet I tend to know people more than they know themselves. most times I feel like exploring the wonders of the world all by myself soaking up the excitement alone. Odd I guess some people will say, when it can be shared.

Am I too deep? I love being independent too having my own not relying on anyone except God. At times I question my duration on earth, do I want to get married? do I want to have kids before I leave here?

lol. I'm amused that you think you know people more than they know themselves.

gidjah:
welcome sis, that's the spirit, believe me, we alll(intros) go through this , but we must all try putting ourselves in the other persons shoe, Some of them honestly cares, they truEly wanna be with US, but we mosttimes hurt them pretty bad giving selfish reasons and excuses, but I have steadily grown in to loving back those who honestly show me real love and honour.we all need one another abi?

Sure.....

An Introvert's Guide To Small Talk: Eight Painless Tips

www.forbes.com/sites/christinapark/2015/03/30/an-introverts-guide-to-small-talk-eight-painless-tips/#4acb34ab5564


www.socialpronow.com/blog/make-conversation-as-an-introvert/



https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/201111/how-chat-introvert


www.today.com/home/9-holiday-party-survival-tips-introverts-1D80309988

An Introvert’s Guide To Surviving The Holidays

1. Acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with you. Just
because other people are energized by family gatherings and love the holidays does not mean you are a bad person for dreading them. I have a friend who recently lamented how screwed up she is because this Thanksgiving is the first that she has spent with her family in more than a decade. She believes our society's motto that family is the most important thing and that she is a failure because she does not enjoy time with her family. What she fails to recognize is how much she gives her family in one- on-one encounters.


2. Pace yourself. Do not try to spend the entire weekend with
family. Just because other “normal” (extroverted) people can do
this does not mean that you “should” be able to do it or even
attempt it.


3. Recognize the symptoms of being “peopled-out.” They include:

(a) The sudden realization that everyone in your family has the
same IQ as the turkey.

(b) Being seized by the need to tell a family member exactly what
you think of his or her politics.

(c) Wondering how and why your family is uniquely screwed up
and why no one else seems to be noticing it.

(d) Your ears actually start twitching from the amount of noise, or
you find yourself having some other physical response. My husband’s coping mechanism here is to discreetly plug one ear
by putting his hand alongside his face in a way that looks like
genuine interest.

4. Most introverted people are easily overwhelmed. Vegas is hell
for us, for example. So try to stay in areas that are less noisy, less crowded, and have fewer flashing lights. Believe it or not, attention to these small details can really make a difference.


5. Recognize that you are far more likely to get into arguments
and to behave in ways you might later regret. So when you are
taking care of yourself—even if that means limiting your time at a
family event, or skipping it, and seeing individual family members
separately—you are not diminishing family bonds, you are actually
protecting them.


6. Try to get a task at a social gathering. MSNBC host Rachel
Maddow, who has introverted tendencies, will only attend NBC
social functions if they allow her tend bar. Having to pay attention
to her work gives her an excuse to have mini-breaks in social
interactions. I always try to be the cook or child-minder. Yes, these are traditionally feminine rolls, but whatever gets me out of
having to mingle is good with me.


7. Scope out a retreat spot when you first reach an event, a place
where you can go without looking odd that will allow you a few
minutes alone. Use this spot before you think you need it.


8. Prepare for large social occasions as others would prepare for
a taxing journey. Think it through, be well rested and prepared
physically and mentally. If you are going through a time of
physical or emotional stress, try to have informal or scaled-down
events where you can control the number of people you have to
be around at any given time.


9. Prepare an emergency exit plan just like you would on a first
date—a way of getting the heck out if it all becomes too much.
Conveniently, we have a dog with social anxiety who bays loudly
at the window causing our neighbors to text complaints just when a social event is getting overwhelming.


10. Learn four or five social questions that you can get other
people talking about to alleviate yourself of the pressure to
communicate. My favorites:

(a) “What kind of work do you do?” or “So, how do you keep
yourself busy?” Followed quickly by “How do you see your field
changing?” If there is one thing that is constant it is change, and
everyone’s role is changing, even stay-at-home parents and
retired people.

(b) “How did you meet …?” This can be the host of the party, thein
person’s date, or partner, etc.

(c) If you have an idea who will be at the party, prepare by
thinking of conversation starters. For example, I know that my
husband’s boss had a baby this year, and that he has an older
son. My plan at this year’s holiday party is to ask, “So how is your
oldest son liking his role as big brother?”


11. Use family gatherings and other social occasions to test your limits with what it takes to get peopled-out. Not all people “count” the same as a drain on an introvert. Your own children and close friends often count for only half a person, meaning you can spend twice as long with them as you could with your average colleague at a department mixer. For those of us who are in loving relationships, our partners barely count as another person. I can spend days with Pete before I need a break. There are some people, however, who are twice as draining as your average colleague. Each of your parents generally counts as two people, bosses count as a dozen people, and a Republican relative, for me, is a veritable mob. I have made it a game in recent years to see how long I can make it through social events by hanging around people who cost me less.
Above all, remember that introversion tends to run in families, and
plan for your own nuclear family accordingly. Our little family—my
husband, daughter, and son—can wear each other out pretty quickly if we are all in a room at the same time. And suddenly,
we start exhibiting the symptoms listed above. So, we have
changed how our family celebrates holidays to accommodate
this. For example, rather than having one large terribly over-
stimulating Christmas Day, we celebrate the 12 days of Christmas with small gifts and family outings. Do what works best for you, but just remember that not loving all the holiday gatherings does not make you a bad person, it may just mean you’re an introvert.And that’s perfectly.



www.rolereboot.org/family/details/2012-11-an-introverts-guide-to-surviving-the-holidays
I'm

End of Year Introvert Challenge.


Ensure you contact your family and friends to wish them a happy and a prosperous new year.

The PERFECT Way For Introverts To Spend New Year’s Eve


www.introvertspring.com/the-perfect-way-for-introverts-to-spend-new-years-eve/


www.gurl.com/2016/12/28/how-to-have-fun-on-new-years-if-youre-an-introvert/#1


https://www.quora.com/How-should-an-extreme-Introvert-approach-a-New-Years-Eve-party-invite



https://www.reddit.com/r/introvert/comments/5l3196/a_very_introverted_new_years_eve/

Introverts and Depression


www.everydayhealth.com/depression/an-introverts-guide-to-happiness.aspx



https://afeatheroftruth./2013/04/15/tips-for-a-depressed-introvert/


https://www.2knowmyself.com The_relationship_between_introversion_and_depression


www.introvertspring.com/are-introverts-more-likely-to-be-depressed/


https://m.reddit.com/r/introvert/comments/36cuas/how_to_deal_with_depression_as_an_introvert/

jaci02:
They think I'm proud and arrogant because I'm too calm and I hardly talk. My choice of music is odd, I love Rock and other unfamiliar songs so they assume I'm weird.

I love my company the most making it unnecessary for me to mingle. I wish to be alone most times because when I listen to people talk I realize that mentally and psychologically we're miles apart and with that they conclude that I'm a snub.

Dating is even worse, most people don't know me. I only show them what I want them to see and then they say that I'm too deep without them trying to even scratch the surface.

I've come to realize that by being quiet I tend to know people more than they know themselves. most times I feel like exploring the wonders of the world all by myself soaking up the excitement alone. Odd I guess some people will say, when it can be shared.

Am I too deep? I love being independent too having my own not relying on anyone except God. At times I question my duration on earth, do I want to get married? do I want to have kids before I leave here?

U will find a gal that is just like u and when u see her its a match made in introvert heaven

Introvert Doodle

Last Day of 2016

Feeling shy to enter 2017 because its my first time.

Coyotejack:
U will find a gal that is just like u and when u see her its a match made in introvert heaven

One of the usual misconceptions I encounter every time online. I never said I was a Guy.